FirstglimpseOMG

Agreed. I would suggest doing some research on 'set & setting', as well as being extremely cautious when experimenting with magic mushrooms. I have experience with shrooms & LSD & MDMA over the years. Perception is reality, and psilocybin mushrooms will warp, bend & melt it for you real good. Do your research, talk to friends that may have indulged, do the set & setting thing right, and start with low doses. Experimenting with mushrooms, etc., can be one of the most profound, wonderful experiences of your life, but you'll hear many reports from experienced users about some nervousness & trepidation before ingesting psilocybin mushrooms. There's a reason for that. It's not a light experience. It's heavy!!

It is interesting, I just watched him. Pretty inspiring to hear that the very experienced meditators rated their constant state of stillness & non-dual joy as an experience that trumps orgasms & 'shroom trips. Holy crap. That's very motivating. Anyone who's enjoyed a few grams of good, dried magic mushrooms and sat in their space-chair having multicoloured horizontal mushroom-cloud orgasms out of the back of their head for a few hours might consider working pretty long & hard to attain a similar state of euphoric bliss permanently. Wow.

At 2500 points you've attained Ultimate Egoic Glory and circle around again, reverting to -1500 points in what is now your perpetual forum reincarnation hell.

Dirty ol' dishwater counts, right? Well, maybe if you just kept it simple, recognizing that there was something new and exciting in your life, and that Leo may have been the bringer, but what he brought was the important thing, you could get ahead on the journey further and faster than if you were to concentrate too much on the teacher. He's great to watch, I learn and am entertained, impressed & inspired, but mostly grateful that he's so effective. I found Actualized.org at just the right time of burning curiosity in my life, so perfect to have him as a meta-source right now. Plus he cracks me up at the wrongest moments in the midst of making a point sometimes, it's pretty precious.

I wonder if Leo's video about projecting, especially onto teachers, may be helpful. https://actualized.org/articles/the-trap-of-projection

Nice, thank you. What mystery, & what an adventure. The more I figure out, the more I see how huge a difference can be made here. I never thought I would really create a chance to impact this world very much. Just little me. Now there's a split in the fabric of reality, an understanding to be explored and so many methods and resourses for the curious and inspired (in-spirited). Along with the beautiful and all-encompassing mystery of my True Nature to unravel and return to recognizing and aligning with, I feel I have a purpose. I can make a difference. Here. Now. As I align with, and rediscover my True nature, I know that reality is mine to shape, and I have power that I don't even understand yet, but I now know that it is all unlimited potential. Once that sentence becomes more than just words, when you begin to know it in your heart, everything begins to open up. There's more love and creative potential available than.. ok, you ARE love and creative potential! Find it again. Know your power. It expresses as joy and creation.

I found this site to be awesome reading for me.. all about naive realism.. pretty in depth look. http://www.anandavala.info/GaianEgo/naive_realism.html#Overcoming_Naïve_Realism ..and this one is addicting... the title is pretty telling, a wide and pretty mind boggling & awesome bunch of everything out of the ordinary and awesome. http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/PICKOVER/pc/realitycarnival.html And this optical illusion site is way cool, don't get lost. https://www.moillusions.com/moving-gif-cube-illusion/

The nightmare and the 'good dream' ARE both dreams, but you can choose which one to run with & get as lucid about as you wish. I love the whole 'good dream' thing!!!

Hiya. What a journey eh? I'm realizing that all the ramifications of all the realizations, and then the ultimate realization, is that this realm is meant to be experienced and en-JOYed. Shared, enhanced, embellished, mostly mysterious and completely free and powerful. Do all of that while adopting 'The Golden Rule' while we're here to the best of your ability, second by second... living FOR each second.. you're living it. Being and becoming.

Eckhart Tolle talks of the painter's canvas as the never-changing background (big Self) that is the base for an ever-changing painting (small self) running across the canvas. Mistaking the constantly changing painting for the never-changing canvas is the default mode for most.

Hey there Barna, breathing through your forehead holee... No chance you misinterpreted Leo's Life Purpose Course as a Life Porpoise Course I guess..?

Ah. Well. Silly me. All this questing & forum stuff. I know right? I'll just get ahold of that dude and he can just explain everything. Maybe we can be buddies & he'll let me gaze upon his harem again.

It's pretty much been the strangest two weeks of my life. I've been following Leo's specific Enlightenment videos, along with all the Ego stuff & the Illusion stuff for maybe 8 or 10 months now. Got interested in all the quantum & consciousness & spirituality stuff 4 or 5 years ago through Robert Lanza's site originally, but got busy & distracted & lost interest. So, for almost a year now, I've rediscovered my passion for Truth & very enjoyably rekindled a curiosity that has had me reading books and watching lectures like crazy. I had a non-dual flash mid-summer, & have been kind of wound up & unstoppable with the search for some real understanding of the True nature of reality and existence and 'one consciousness' & unity fields and all the good wild mind-bending stuff since then. Funniest thing... two weeks ago I had this big, let-down moment when I realized that pretty much other than a 'one consciousness' flash & aha moment in the summer, the rest of my feverish seeking and discovering had been nothing but quesswork, assumptions, conceptualizing, conjecture, postering, misplaced egoic pride, and pretty useless general gum-flapping. I was all deflated and defeated suddenly it seemed, & I can't really remember why. I guess I realized I was full of shit, & had basically been verbally masturbating all over this forum for weeks since I re-engaged here. I had resigned myself to the fact that a general apology was likely in order, as I knew that I actually had not contributed anything... except more conjecture really. I likely muddied rather than clarified anything regarding my experience or 'quest', and I realized that I was really very confused, & not helping anything by trying to be cute & entertaining & posting like a had a fucking clue about anything. So, I do apologize. I did mean well, but realized that most of my posts were pretty blatantly egoic & somewhat self-important. Anyhoo, brilliant me finally decides to read Leo's guide to Enlightenment, & then I went for the list of Enlightenment exercises. Wow, pretty great stuff, & I had a strong feeling it was time to actually DO some of the work of experiencing something directly, or at least getting a better grasp of what the hell was going on. So... I dive in, I'm loving the exercises, reading them all with a bit if a rush of new-found excitement at finally getting off my ass to do something other than speculate, when I get all messed up with the one where you are to put your finger in line with your eye and an object and slowly draw the imaginary line from object to you with the finger. Wonderful. Then I read this snappy shit at the end there where he says "There is no eyeball for that matter. For cryin' out loud! Waddya mean there's no EYEBALLL! It was fun until I just about poked my eye out. Not really, but my mind was SCREAMING... Fak! How can there be no goddamn eyeball when my fingertip is touching my lashes now & making my eyelid flutter in protecting this so-called non-existent eyeball. AAaargh! Gaahhh! A day or two of listless, defeated & confused interior whining & pondering follow the eyeball thing. Then Leo puts out his Rant Against Naive Realism & I actually run across it on Sunday in the wee hours of the morning, totally by accident while farting around youtube. I watch it. Leo decimates my ego by 'tricking the student onto the path' by disguising the heavy wisdom in a Rant video. Nice one Leo, thank you for what you do, you finally got through to me. Just watch the damn thing again, & when he says 'literally', take it as meaning LITERALLY. Ego goes bye-bye, (comes right back in again,) but THIS time, I understand it's illusive nature for real (finally), and will never be fooled again. 3 straight days of dealing with that. It WILL scare the shit out of you, but it's such a wicked and all-encompassing paradigm shift that you'll rush to meditate deeper and explore much further! Not much more to be said... thanks all, for the opportunity to relate & learn here on this amazing forum. Open your mind up (really though), and keep doing the work. I'd strongly suggest re-watching every one of Leo's Enlightenment videos, finishing up with this latest rant. Thanks again Leo, you have a way of teaching that is ...well, I'm speechless (apparently not, haaa)! Uh.. ..did you ever consider releasing the heavy-duty life-shattering stuff like, on a Friday maybe, rather than a Monday, lmao? My poor decimated self had to go into the office for 3 days & try to quit thinking about this stuff until I got home!

That whole 'self-consistency' thing is intriguing! I get so lost lol!

This is so confusing. So strange for the ego to stretch this far. So daunting in the moments of realizing the depths of ignorance. It's good to be off work and have the evening to begin working on adjustments in consciousness and to begin searching for some of the actual aha!, direct experiences that will start the systematic illusion shred. Weird to feel the need to 'work up' to even looking at phenomenal experiences that were always taken to be entirely something else, let alone be after direct experiences in the moment! Uncomfortable and perturbing to be so new at trying to dismantle the old way of being. This is great fun, a wicked challenge, and scary as hell all at once. And confusing, in that good kind of way. Time to go play with Leo's list of Enlightenment exercises! ?

I think I have an idea about what Leo might have meant by sweeping it under the rug. Uh, it's probably the 'literal' thing. He says it over and over throughout the Enlightenment series of videos. I either always thought that I was pretty much getting what he was saying, or my interpretation of his interpretation of 'literal' (how's that for projecting while obscuring your own possibilities of Enlightenment) was that he didn't really mean 'literal' in the literal sense. I 'got' so much of his teachings, just soaked it up, but when he'd say that he didn't mean figuratively, but 'literally' that I didn't exist... I honestly thought he meant that my personality and history was fictional, all just thoughts and memories, not tangible & no longer a part of the present, etc, etc. Uh, ...no. Gettin' a little bored with all the theory, conceptualizing & conjecture? A little frustrated with not really feeling any closer to Enlightenment after all the meditating & self inquiry? Confusion and uncertainty furrowing your brow, just when you thought you were realizing some pretty epic things about life? Good. Now, what if you were to watch the Naive Reality Rant again. This time when he says 'literally', or makes claims and statements that just sound 'wrong', or purposely mysterious, or 'quite a stretch, WTF, Leo is deluded or actualizing too hard'... Stop. He even says it lol... 'just stop' ! I stopped brushing his unbelieveable or extreme, or 'WTF' statements under the rug with this Rant video. They wouldn't go into my mind before, & if they did they were lightly dismissed, with a little of that 'background annoyance' at knowing I was not grasping something, even as my mind glossed it over as stuff I didn't need to 'get' right then. WRONG. Take it literally. Fucking LITERALLEEE!!! You want 'Aha'? Take every 'literally' that Leo has said over these enlightenment videos absolutely, concretely, unmistakenly and as completely accurate and factual.. & let your radically open mind run with it. You can have 'Aha!' ..but then you get pretty decimated pretty quick, be prepared. (You can't be prepared). Holy shit! IS likely to be uttered. Then the real mystery begins.

Hallo everybody. So, I was tempted to write 'ego death IS very physical', & then figured it was my own experience ('my' ha ha), so I decided to not project my experience onto any of you beautiful beings. I will share a little though. Last night at about 3 in the morning I was sitting in my comfy parlour chair in my bedroom. Ok, wait.. quick lead up... I had my first non-dual experience months ago, mid summer. Leo showed me something, & it went into me and I had an opening, after many months of searching for... something. The quickest flash of actual connection with my Source was what it was . Half a second. It was not a feeling of connection with everything and anyone by any means. It was the briefest possible glimpse and instant recognition of the one universal consciousness thing. BANG! You knew. You just knew. You were. And it wasn't separate. I could write a book about my path, but we're exploring one aspect of this journey in this post, not a big picture thang. Since late summer I've read about 15 books, I'm reading about 10 more at the same time lately, and I've watched over a hundred lecture and educational type videos. Cosmology, spirituality, neuroscience blah blah blah. The syncronicity that I have noticed since waking up a little, and in retrospect, in my life and concerning a few key people around me, is remarkable and unbelievable. I have been working, in my own way, very hard to dissolve the ego as much as is possible for me, any way, any time, anywhere I am able. How could I not? So... ego death. The in-dwelling truth that I AM, has been burning through ego-walls for days now. In Leo's 5meo vid, he describes one aspect of ego-death as, to paraphrase; "It's like love, nothing but pure love, like Niagara Falls volumes of love just pouring into you, just going into you and choking you with it's volume, immensity, and endlessness." Uh.. yup. The unboundless pure love? Yup. And coming out of you as fast and hard as it goes in. You can't contain that. Man I'm long-winded. The point is, I guess, that when this happened to me, the love that burst out was forceful like something that had been pounding at the walls from INSIDE for months and months. Man, there's that pounding and pounding, but you may not even hear it at first, it's so foreign (seemingly). Then.. maybe picture a fracture on the inside wall of the Hoover Dam. It wears away & wears away little by little, with an entire goliath river of force behind it. Bit by bit. Day by day. Hour by hour if you're very mindful. Then that point comes, holy crap, I just realized it's like the event horizon of a black hole, only imagined backwards... The resistant force of the wall is now past that threshold point. Not quite exploded through yet, but over the course of the wee hours of the morning.. well, if I had to choose one word for the lead up to the burst-through? It's a quickening. Ok, ok, what's it like when it GOES? Undescribeable, but I may be able to give you a taste. Ever watch video of fighter jet pilots managing to endure heavy G-force? Ok, substitute LOVE for gravity, then have the maximum force assault your body and entire ego not only inwards, from not one, but ALL directions, and flow outwards, from no direction, in ALL directions... and you're getting close. Last little note to qualify and clarify the title of this post. Anyone who has experienced giving birth, or their partner during the last pushes of heavy labour may relate to this; I thought my ex-wife was going to crumple & bend those chrome grab-bars attached to the side of the bed near the end. Last night, when the dam burst, I remember being mindful enough to turn the clench-pull of my hands curled around the end of the chair arms to a 'grip-only' thang, so I wouldn't rip them right off. I also vividly recall my surprised, flabberghasted, weak-ass little ego going "oh no, oh , no, oh no, no, no, no, no, what the fuck, what's happening to meeeeee!!??!!? Wow, words don't do any of this justice of course. I love this so much now. It's no longer work, it's play and balance. Ego is here. This experience was an undescribeable breakthrough for me, but this was only partial ego death, or just a big big beginning sort of thang. Ego is still here. BUT IT SURE IS ONE WEAK-ASS LITTLE BITCH!!! WOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!

Hallo evrybodee. I've seen Eckhart Tolle's 'The Power Of Now' mentioned a few times here. I know there are some on here that are undeniably and irrevocably waking up in a myriad of beautiful, indescribable ways. The essence of Tolle's teachings on presence has been huge as I try to stay on the path I have found. The simplicity of full presence is likely one of the most overlooked, misunderstood, dismissed Truths of the journey towards enlightenment, in my current understanding of the big picture anyway. The simplest shit. The simplest shit is the biggest and best for me sometimes. Somehow the simplest Truths are often hidden behind the simplicity itself. And as such, are not even noticed, or in becoming so used to the symbology of our language, are assumed to be platitudes or entrenched fables, meaningless and frivolous and trivial. Surrender. 'Surrender' There is a simple Truth hidden in just that one word. Because it is so, so simple, and so, so completely misunderstood, the essence of the word, pertaining to reality, spirituality, awakening, enlightenment, is back-asswards and counter-intuitive. Mercifully, there are folks that are getting closer and closer, to varying degrees, to more and more Truths. Thankfully, they cannot help but share to the best of their ability. There are awesome, simple but elusive little wake-up calls occuring constantly. Mindfulness, in it's real sense, is wonderful for creating a feedback loop of realization and slow, (or not so slow) awakening. A little more mindful. A wee bit more awake. A wee bit more awake, the mindfulness becomes more natural and easy. More natural and easy mindfulness leads to a little more awakening, at whatever rate. Loop it baby, loop it, grow it. There's no going back, no turning back from any and every step & stumble you take towards enlightenment. It adds up, and cannot be subtracted, disappeared or forgotten. It adds up. All those little Truths that smack the little me right betwen my smartpants eyes.. ..they stay. In my experience anyway. So, after all that fun rambling, I thought that if a few of you were recognising, and making progress on acting on the little wake up calls that initiate and perpetuate the mindfulness/awakening loop, maybe you will find an opportunity here to share. Ok, I'll start. About a week ago, I was in my kitchen, making coffee. I've been on this journey of awakening hard-core (well, hard-core for lazy-assed me) for a little less than a year now. So, here's me last week in my kitchen making a coffee for myself. I make it a little strong, not really on purpose, and as I look down at the swirling caramel coloured liquid, I am suddenly, COMPLETELY unconsciously, in the kitchen with my ex-wife making morning coffee for the two of us before work. 22 years ago. 22 years. ..I hand the coffee to my wife, and she says "Pretty bloody strong, dontcha think? I like my coffee to change colour a bit when I put the cream in." Next scene: Me walking out of my kitchen a week ago, still immersed in the scenario, and I say OUT LOUD as I am walking into my living room "Well then make your own frickin' coffee then, you fricken'...." ..And I stopped. Right then & there I stopped. I caught it right then & stopped dead in my tracks, mouth open, no sound coming out. I was back. Phew! That little scenario actually sucked pretty hard 22 years ago, & was somehow just as 'sucky', if not more so last week as I was reliving it vividly as I walked out of my kirchen, completely immersed in the replay. I imagine it was just my subconscious mind that kept me from shinning myself on the coffee table.. because I was not there. I was not present. BAM! WAKE UP CALL!! BAM! ENTRY POINT!!! I'm freaking loving this. Make it your friend. Anyone else? Tidbits? Wake up calls?

I used to think being lazy was mostly a waste of my time, so I just substituted the word 'contemplative' for 'lazy' & now I'm all good.

I was thinking Carmen Electra would wheel me around the estate grounds in my chair one last time before her and I and 40 college girls and a drum of Mazola get all tangled up in a room too small for us all, & somewhere along the way my heart just blows out of my chest.

Once I'm sure I know something, how can I confirm it for myself through direct experience? If I am unable to confirm my 'knowledge' through direct experience, how in the world do I actually come to grips with the conclusion that I don't know shit?

I wonder if looking for truth really hard may hinder the methodical peeling away of fantasy and fiction (untruth?), which may allow Truth to just fill the space. Or start to shine through on it's own. I wonder if Truth is a thing onto itself, an intrinsic quality that naturally and inevitably fills the vacuum when untruths dissolve? ...& it might follow that the Truth IS the vacuum. So.. no vacuum exists, it's just more untruth to think any true vacuum is maintainable or stable, considering the massive quantity of energy required?

Apparently that's a great place to be, according to the masters that talk a lot about 'surrender'. I guess the 'keep on doing anyway' thing is a much more genuine, easy & natural 'doing' in contrast to all the doing that 'knowing' produces. We really only 'know' very little it seems. I suppose this is the 'non-doing' that's often discussed.

I forgot all about that song & vid, go Freddy!

Consciousness would be one of those babes that is ridiculously sexy because she doesn't know that she is.