Frogfucius

Indeed, addictive for everyone. Alcohol, junk food, and drugs we can consider toxic, and those are highly addictive. Then there's more subtle things, such as love, negative thoughts, and bad relationships. These can also be considered toxic addictions. As far as getting to a point of not letting it bother you..I would suggest greater doses of meditation and self-inquiry. You may not be able to stop the thoughts and feelings, but you can get to a point where you just observe them and let them pass, without getting swept away in your mind's stories. Leo has a video called "Awareness alone is curative" and it has good information. I would suggest watching that.

@the dreamer There's nothing 'bad' about isolation, as long as you don't become neurotic about it. In fact, isolation may be best for you if you're self-actualizing. It gives you space and freedom to reflect, contemplate, meditate, and dig deeper into your psyche without a whole bunch of distractions.

That's awesome. I have read some theories that humanity didn't evolve into monogamy. We used to not live as long as we do now, and thus our minds are innately conditioned for short-term rather than long-term commitments in order to ensure survival with more capable mates. Basically, the idea that you should settle for only one person and it's a be all, end all ordeal is just a construct of social conditioning. Based on what I have observed in my own experience, I can see some merit to these theories. There's not one couple I personally know in real life that have been together 'happily ever after' - it always breaks down. Not that couples that stay in love and committed forever don't exist - just that they're rare, and the exception to the norm.

@Gabriel David Gomez I've been thinking about this. The hedonistic growth of societies have caused us to suffer. Our mind doesn't know how to limit desire and say enough is enough, nor does it know how to not compare us to other people and perceive them as better off because they may have one materialistic thing that we don't have. It seems like a fundamental flaw of the human psyche, drilled in by societal conditioning. Depression and suicide rates have been on the rise for a while now. In 2010, for the first time in human's history, more people lived in cities than not. Urbanization is damaging to the psyche - stimulants are abound, families are broken up, there's nothing but competition in a never-ending hamster wheel, we're overcrowded and yet everyone feels like a stranger to us. We evolved from close-knit tribes, in forests and in nature. The underdeveloped societies are measured to be the most happy and fulfilled in life, counter-intuitively. Suicides and depression are swept under the rug, never reported on in the mainstream. Human psychology is never given a thought in mainstream society, because it doesn't serve the hedonistic nature of itself. These are just my theories, of course. I find it to be true in my own life.

I know it's tough to let someone you care about go. Evaluate why you want this person around. Is it an ego thing? Why is it not beneficial for you to let go? Why is independence from someone you know is toxic a bad thing? Hooking yourself to toxicity is like a drug, and it's hard to let go. With constant consciousness and awareness work, you'll slowly unhook yourself from all of the toxins that poison your mind. It's going to take a long time, so hang in there and be diligent. Personally, I struggle with the need for acceptance, dependency, idealizations of love, low self-esteem. I'm not going to involve myself in relationships outside of my closest family members until I can resolve this inner issue. It's been so tempting to try and renew old relationships or start new ones, but I will always come from a place of scarcity until I completely dissolve the affects of toxicity poisoning my mind. Until then, it's nothing but hard work, and it's a roller coaster ride! Best of luck to you.

I know you care about your mother, but I think a person has to want to change in order for them to develop consistent positive habits. If she's not doing research and inner work, then she's not ready. She may never be ready, and there's not anything you can do about it. My mom is also incredibly narrow-minded, and is one of the most neurotic people I know. She's been drowning herself in religious dogma and ideology for nearly 20 years, and hides behind 'the word of God' so that she doesn't ever have to take accountability for her own life and her selfish, immature, neurotic ways. She's a Grade A hypocrite, and she even had me brainwashed in the religious dogma when I was a kid. Thankfully, I was smart enough to pull myself out of that trap, and completely nullify all religious beliefs. My mother is the last person I would try and help, even though she needs it the most. This journey will make you realize how different you are from your family members. They're comfortable in their unconscious lifestyle, and all you can do is just accept it for what it is.

@ChimpBrain When I start laughing, it's usually because I'm getting a grip on the realization that everything is an illusion. It's a realization that everything I have worked for and dealt with in life is completely bullshit, and my ego peppered its influence over everything in my life. It's so hilarious! Not in a bad way, but in a relieving way. When I cry, it's usually just bad feelings pouring out, cleansing themselves. I accept them passing and try not to think too much about it.

I never realized how amazing vision is until I started self-inquiry. What is vision? Why does it exist? It is through vision that our brain filters perceptions of threats, beauty, food, cuteness, obstacles, etc. When I close my eyes, I no longer have this filter. For survival, I must then rely on my sense of sound and touch to filter these things for me. But what if I become deaf and blind? I can then only feel. But what if I sustain major brain or spine injury, and I no longer feel? What, then, is there to perceive? Thoughts? But even thoughts aren't reality. What if the thoughts stop? That's true nothingness. I really take my senses for granted. It starts with sight and touch. But these senses keep me from the true reality that is nothingness.

The first two or three times I meditated, I tapped into a deep sense of consciousness. It didn't feel orgasmic, but it was like I was trippin' out on drugs. I think it was me feeling my monkey mind stopping between thoughts for the first time in my life, so it was a very pleasurable experience. You're probably reaching an even deeper level of consciousness. Good on you, man. I know Leo said do not get attached to these feelings or expect them, because they're fleeting and even surface as obstacles our ego throws up.

Kids don't have an ego until they hit, oh, 2 or 3, when the "Me! Me! Me! Mine!" phase kicks in. But yeah, society's grip on us as children really sucks the magic out of just being. We go from blissfully ignorant beings, to developing into jaded, bitter individuals over time. We are always wanting more material goods and 'success'. Society really bones our psychological development. We're manufactured into the system, processed and packaged into having a life of mediocrity and/or unfulfillment.

The one where you're not engaged in Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, whatsapp, snapchat, Instagram, and so forth. So, any meditation technique will do.

@How to be wise So you're going to use his lack of explicitly stating what it is as evidence against Enlightenment equaling awareness? Without your mind perversing the present moment and processing stimuli exactly as it is, that is pure awareness. You're not lost in thought, you're not lost in desires, you're not lost in emotions, and you're certainly not unconscious or unaware. You're observing and perceiving stimuli exactly as it is without judgments or illusion - that would be pure awareness.

@How to be wise Enlightenment is pure awareness though! It's your natural state of being, without all of the illusions of your mind and your ego.

@How to be wise I never said there is anything supernatural about enlightenment, nor did I imply enlightened people need to always act hyper or gleeful.

If a genie were to offer you a choice between $1 billion right now, with the one caveat that you will never become enlightened, vs. an offer of instant spiritual truth and enlightenment, you would take the money in a heartbeat, wouldn't you? Why is that? Because you're still connected to worldly desires, and you still believe they will bring you more happiness and fulfillment than enlightenment ever could. As long as your ego holds on to the notion that outwardly success is more fulfilling than enlightenment, you will always have inner suffering. At least, that's my understanding of enlightenment vs. no enlightenment. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and all that money didn't matter. But if you had enlightenment, you were prepared for that bus, and you achieved a state of bliss you would have never otherwise obtained.

@isabel Cutting out toxic people is necessary. Your mom is immature, especially for blaming you for her sickness. She won't change, even if you do talk to her. So good on you for cutting her out. You don't owe her a thing. She's so incredibly miserable with her own life, she needs an outlet for her emotional abuse, and sadly that's been you. There are a lot of parents out there like that, and it's hard to not take it personally. As for your sister, if she's going to side against you, there's nothing you can do about it. Even if you do talk to her and try and reason with her. Let her go if she mistreats you. If she's going to be swayed by your mother despite knowing the truth about you and your situation, then your sister is also a toxic person. Best of luck to you! If you have to go it alone for now, that's better than letting toxicity poison your emotional well-being.

I started to zone out to the point where I felt, heard, thought nothing. In fact, it felt like I wasn't conscious, but was in total peace mode with absolute zero feeling. Not even sure if I was asleep or not lol.

Last night, I went to a pub to meet up with some friends. I got there early, grabbed a table, and decided to do something I've never really done before: meditate in public.. Kind of. I sat there very still, with relaxed breath, and calmly observed my surroundings. A couple things dawned on me. First, people really are not aware of what's going on. They're far too busy being absorbed in their own world and own problems to really live in the present moment, and carefully notice what's going on. They may notice you, or find you attractive or make a judgment, but their mind-filter isn't letting them live authentically. Second, smart phones. Constant use of smart phones. Not only are these people drinking alcohol, but they're also constantly checking their social media and texting. Even while they're talking in their group. And especially when left alone, like if their mate goes to the bathroom - they can not handle being alone in public without being stimulated, so they instantly start playing on their phone. These are just observations I had. I knew these things before, but I myself have always been unconscious and herd-like, so I always brushed these thoughts off. Also, I've always very much been guilty of this type of behavior. I would subconsciously check my smart phone while out in public, many times. It got to the point where I was uncomfortable of being seen alone without some sort of stimulation. But in actuality, when I decided to soak in the present moment and not fear the presence of others and their thoughts, I was in a state of peace and comfort. I felt disconnected from everyone, but not in an deluded way: I just noticed how my mind has taken on a higher level of awareness and consciousness than the average joe. Anyways, I think smart phones are good and practical. I'm always on mine to check the Internet and watch videos, and I'm posting from one now! But their addictive properties are crimping the minds of the masses, which is having a negative effect on their psychological and emotional state. They're like a ready-made drug that we can have anywhere, any time, any place. I really wonder how society is going to evolve going forward, because once you give everyone this type of easy stimulation, going back is near impossible.

@Blind Observer Haha, that's a good video. I did research, and it seems that the average human attention span is four seconds lower than it was 15 years ago. That's quite a shift, and we're all becoming less and less present in the moment. This can only lead to more suffering, right? I've become more guilty every time I use my cellphone for life filler purposes, now. I wasn't aware of how often I did it, and now when I catch myself doing it, I just feel bad and silly.

Power through it. The struggle you're having is normal for most people in our society, and recognition of it is the first step toward progress, so don't feel bad. If it's that tough, then start out light. Try 10 minutes a day, then increase the time the more you're able to sit still in comfort. Just like with any skill, sitting still doing nothing takes practice.

What cetus said. My world didn't change, or the world I exist in didn't change. What I call my perceptions have changed. At first, yes, it is spooky, but that's a natural reaction to your ego when its identity becomes threatened. There might be some ominous or disassociated feelings of all labels and beliefs we had that we thought had value. That's not easy to experience at first, but the more it is embraced, the more peaceful existence becomes.

@ChimpBrain Thank you for the feedback. I got the feeling like it would have been best that I didn't share my experiences and thoughts, but I'm glad you're open-minded about this issue. If overstimulation and addictions weren't causes for neurosis, I wouldn't bring this topic up...But I believe that they are, and smart phones have by and large become the biggest addiction in our society. And at this point, we're so far in, we cannot go back... But that's technology in general, I guess. It is what it is.

I'm not judging anyone, I'm just making observations based on finally taking the time to understand what's going on in my immediate surroundings. I'm completely guilty of my use of smart phones, but now I'm aware of it. I know the suffering it can cause, and I think awareness is a very good thing for healing neurotic tendencies. If it appears I am being egotistical here, I'm sorry. I can see why it would appear so, but I catch myself every time I make a judgment, and I observe it. I refrain as much as possible. I just want happiness and people to be present in society...that's all. I feel like we're exponentially ramping up stimulation, which can't have good long-term effects for mental stability. Maybe I'm wrong.

If emptiness is better than not being aware, then in that case, do you believe everyone is better off dead? There'd be no more suffering, right? There is nothing good or bad about suffering. Suffering just is, and that's the way it has to be. And yes, everything we do is 100% instinct. But we think we're in control, and we think things are inherently good or bad. It's the beautiful illusion of the mind.

@username Good job on clearing that up, man. I had a similar experience. Yesterday during meditation, my mind for whatever reason kept constantly drifting to memories and pictures of myself as a child. After a while, I began to cry and sob, and my mind was telling me to forgive and love myself. The crying was neither joy or pain: it was an emotional release of all of the harsh negative judgments I have had against myself since as long as I remember being alive. It was a liberating experience, to say the least.