Frogfucius

Never. Now, when can you start self-inquiry? Any time before you die.

Completely normal. Your mind is tapping into a deeper level of consciousness, so it panics a little bit because it wants to return to homeostasis. Keep trying, and you'll break through the barrier without panic.

It's not at all. Since I've become more conscious and aware, I am able to remember in great detail all of my dreams at night. I can recall them at later times during the day, and remember all of the details and the going-ons. I've come to the conclusion that real life is no different than a dream. ‘You’, the inner you, is watching some identity play out in some illusion created by your mind, and ‘you’ aren’t in control of anything. Just as the occurrences in dreams are illusions and not reality, so too is how you interact with the universe in reality. Everything is a creation in your mind; every story or fantasy, idea or thought.

@fanta I know where you're coming from. I used to have suicidal thoughts quite frequently, up until I started meditation and self-inquiry a few months ago. This was a response to intense anxiety and pain in my chest region, created by the unhealthy patterns etched into my mind. I have always had anxiety issues and never really felt like I belonged anywhere. So I started meditating, and dealing with my demons as they crop up. The suicidal thoughts vanquished for a while. Now, they have arisen again. Although it’s not a low-conscious level of despair like it was before, it’s a realization that life is all that there is, at this moment. There is no event in the future that can change how I’m going to feel as a person. Before, I used to escape into memories of the past, or dream about the future in order to deal with these thoughts. It’s as Albert Camus said, the only true philosophical question is whether to commit suicide or not. Everything I have ever experienced will be completely forgotten forever, whether I die today or in 50 years from now. This isn’t a bad thing, but I just can’t figure out if life is worth it. The only experience “I” could ever have after death is if I get reborn again, with a completely new identity, and with all memory of any past consciousness gone. Suicide is basically a reset button, and sometimes I wish I was able to integrate into society like a normal, low-conscious human being, unaware or uncaring of any truths, and living blissfully ignorant lives and unresponsive to internal suffering. Like all of my family and friends. All I can do is just hope this phase will pass.

I live in a city, and it definitely has its benefits. I have a cozy job and home, and there are lots of activities to do nearby. But damn, the more I do this spiritual journey, the more the city feels like a cage. When I was a kid, I grew up in a more rural area. I would play outside in the trees, and right down the street was a lake. Something went wrong with my psyche when I became older, and yearned to live in the city where my family lived. Well, it happened when I became a teenager, and I haven't lived in a rural area since. In fact, I used to look down on possibly living in one, thinking it would be boring. When I take a walk in a quiet field or forest, my mind instantly escapes itself from its mental issues and worries. My job, relationship, personal problems melt away. The sound of birds or humming insects just feels so right. The most therapeutic experience is becoming absorbed in nature, and is city folk are blind to it because the comfort of a concrete based society. It feels like I'm a caged animal - there's a vast, gorgeous world out there, but will I be fine leaving the comforts of my cage? I like to take a walk near where I work - there's a small little path that has a lot of trees, and it's free from traffic and noise. At least, it used to be. They're tearing down the trees and creating businesses and parking lots. I notice more and more trees marked for destruction every day I walk the path. Soon, my beautiful path will be like any old sidewalk. And probably worst of all, the night sky is polluted by artificial light. I can only see maybe four or five stars each night out of the year. Back in my rural area, I could see stars all across the night sky, and they were a beautiful thing. Living in an urban area does not even give a tiny glimpse of the wonderful universe we live in. Everything is short-sighted. Kids are left to play on concrete, and forbidden from going too far. I yearn to someday disconnect from modern society. I want to live in a cabin in the woods. I know that enlightenment is possible anywhere, even an overcrowded city. Maybe especially an overcrowded city, where suffering is so intense. But what good is it if I can't appreciate the true nature of stillness? Nature is perfect and is without judgment or worries. Cities are factories of illusion.

I would say that at least at this point in human evolution, you are correct. It seems like for any extreme in life, there needs to be a polar opposite in order to balance itself out. Without sorrow, we wouldn’t know joy. Without chaos, we wouldn’t know peace. Without perception of these things, we would have more simpler lives like animals. Is a plane of higher consciousness possible, in which chaos becomes eliminated, and all that is left is peace? It’s possible in a few million years, we evolve to that point. But it’s also possible that the phase we are currently in will wind up eradicating ourselves from this planet completely before that even becomes possible. At the rate we are going with overpopulation, we are not going to be able to sustain ourselves on this planet. And then with global warming continuing the way it is, of which we are a major contributor to, most of the world’s species are going to die off, including humanity.

I’ve reflected on this further. Prabhaker and jjer94 are correct, I am the problem, and I think I just feel butthurt from society’s conditioning. I never was content anywhere I’ve been, no matter the circumstances, and no matter how much I tried to convince myself I was happy. I was always focused on the future, and how things could be better. No matter what I have achieved, I have felt outcasted and disassociated from almost everyone, even if I never truly have been alone. I keep moving up and up society’s hierarchy of materialistic achievements, and yet I continue to feel more disconnected. Feeling more at peace with nature untouched by human hands is an escape. I’m running from the demon I have created. I think if I run away for a while, things will get better and I’ll be able to integrate back in normally. But even that is probably not true, because I’ve worked towards a better future my whole life, and it has never panned out how I wanted. How do I correct my anger and feelings of hopelessness? Through more meditation and self-inquiry?

@jjer94 I know everything humanity does is natural and it's supposed to be that way. That doesn't mean inherent beauty in the psychological mind can't exist. Humans are naturally more drawn to pictures or paintings of a hilly pasture or rain forest than a city atmosphere. Humans are usually more depressed in overcrowded urban environments than habitats hardly touched by humans. Why? There's some truth to the calm beauty in nature, clean from major human influence. I'm not running from anything. I'm seeing the beauty in stillness. There can be beauty in chaos too, sure, but I'm drawn to stillness. It's just my personal preference. I'm seeing the limitations of city life, when before I thought it was the best way to live.

This is exactly it. Underneath the ego, self-identity, beliefs and conditioning that society has thrusted upon you, you’re as pure as the stars in the galaxy, as pure as the mountains and oceans, as pure as the trees and birds, and so forth. Convincing your mind of that purity is insanely difficult, because of its decades of conditioning. You can access the purity at any moment, but your mind will continue to fight and resist, because you’re forcing it to do something it has no experience doing: shedding the fabric of its own being and creation. You’re moving it out of the confines of time, of past and future, and forcing it to accept everything as it is at this very moment, with no input on its part. So how do you shed the mind’s conditioning? Is it impossible, or are our minds stuck in an unpurified state? Well, as people from centuries ago have figured out, meditation is one tool to do this. Through meditation, you force the mind to look inside of its conditioning. It will begin to question its conditioning, and slowly peel itself off from the stranglehold it has on true reality. The more this is done, the more the mind releases its grip on you. I consider anything that challenges the mind and its sense of self and beliefs as a form of meditation. I could be wrong there, but I don’t believe meditation has to be just sitting still for a while. That’s a powerful technique, but I believe meditation can be enacted in every area of waking life, at any time.

Could be a combination of societal, cultural, or biological factors, or maybe there's no difference at all. Women seem to be more forgiving and spiritual driven than men on average it seems like, but it's men who become the spiritual leaders. Makes me wonder how many mystic women existed in history who had amazing insights and wisdom, but were forgotten or cast aside just because they were women.

Good job! Enlightenment is more of a ‘removal’ of everything – your beliefs, story, illusion about yourself. Nothing is added. It’s the beacon of light that’s always been there, but shrouded through the clouds of your ego and man-made identity. It’s hard to understand until you feel it.

@Taavi Be careful on condemning certain actions, just because on the surface level they are low-conscious. There are enlightened masters that enjoy an abundance of sex, and other masters that enjoy smoking cigarettes habitually. When you can reach the level of embracing the formless and the form, any activity can be done consciously and still be enjoyed. You don't need to go live in the mountains and cut off from civilization, just because forms can be distracting. That's perfectly acceptable, but there are an infinite amount of ways to spend your limited time in the changing world of form.

TV and YouTube videos are perfectly fine, as long as you remain conscious while participating in those activities. Only when you lose consciousness, do you lose your will to stop. Consciousness seems like a "get out of jail free" card, but you'll soon realize that remaining conscious during any activity, especially the more mind-indulging ones, becomes exceedingly difficult without practice.

I can actually tap into that deep, present moment awareness every night before I go to bed now. It usually follows after I have an intense emotional outburst. Then... calmness. Pure awareness. I'm conscious as I fall asleep, and I can hear the patterns of my mind. Then my dreams become more vivid. I wish I could tap into it freely every moment, but it's easy for me when I'm in a dark, quiet room.

Since I've started meditating and becoming more conscious, I've noticed that my dreams appear more vivid and real. I'm also able to recall them later on more easily. The emotions and situations in the dreams feel more "real". When I'm awake, I'm amazed how I feel duped about the illusions created in my head in the dreams..like, how can I believe those illusions as reality? But then it gets me thinking that if I'm so easily duped in my dreams, is my so-called reality also duping me? What am I to trust? Can anyone relate?

Yeah, the fact that I'm not able to discern I'm actually dreaming in a dream is scary. It feels so real, just like my waking life. My senses worked, I thought it was real, but it was all an illusion. The stories and any dangers or pleasures were completely false. Lucid dreams are amazing though. You become fully aware of your environment and are the master of anything that's thrown at you without fear. At least, that's what it felt like in the few times I remained lucid in a dream. I wonder if enlightenment is like a lucid dream, in a sense?

Yup, those same paradoxes would hang me up for a while, too. You'll break through it, eventually. I just believe that our reality itself is a paradox. Our consciousness arises from a mix of unconscious material. Matter rose from nothing…or maybe it was always there, which is a paradox itself. How can something exist if nothing put it there? Embrace the paradoxes, man! I think they're a thing of beauty now.

Do you think introverts are more likely to become aware of enlightenment and deep spiritual truths? Are extroverts too distracted by their need for socialization, and use it as a crutch? Or is it the opposite - are extroverts more likely to understand deeper truths, while introverts are too stuck in their heads? Or is there no correlation at all? In my opinion, I think introverts are more likely to feel outcasted from society. Society idealizes the outgoing, charming social person that has an abundance of activities and friends to enjoy them with. Introverts may suffer more as a result, because they associate more with their lonely thoughts and mind patterns.

@Prabhaker Good stuff. I have a friend who is introverted, and she’s friends with my cousin on Facebook. She told me she wishes she was more like my cousin, because he’s always out having fun and doing things with people, while she’s just “lame” and doesn’t get out and do much. I told her to not judge a person based on what they post on Facebook, because they’re only building up some kind of story in their head. She doesn’t know what’s really going on with that person on the inside. She agreed. And personally knowing my cousin and having grown up with him, I know that he’s an unhappy and insecure person that runs from his emptiness by partying and doing drugs. We all have different ways of trying to deal with our emptiness. I know she’s not unique, people like her are always comparing themselves to the person who seems to have the most going on. And even people who have a lot going on compare themselves to other people. It’s a never-ending cycle of mental masturbation. I used to do the same shit, so I’ve abstained from social media or judging people on what goes on at the surface.

I'm not implying introverts are shut-in recluses with mental problems...not at all. I'm factoring in society, because let's face it, extroverts are glamorized. The better looking a person is, the more outgoing and personal, the more success and wealthy, the more friends and accomplishments a person has are all idealized. People rush to post pictures of their 'perfect' lives on instagram, on facebook, and get their sense of self out there into the world to try and prove something. Being more out in the open as a unique, outgoing snowflake is the norm in this society. It caters towards the extrovert.

The brain controls everything. If you were to physically tinker with someone else's brain, they may lose their ability to speak, move, conceptualize, it may change how the outside world physically appears to them, or it could change their whole personality all together. But the brain itself isn't conscious. Rather, its complexity enables consciousness for you, that which can not be physically located. The visible is giving rise to the invisible. You're still a product of your brain's functioning, however. 'You' aren't in control of anything.

I have discussed my spirituality with my sister, although she's as low-consciousnand egotistical as they come. She doesn't understand it at all, but she listens to me at least. I have no one to really talk this kind of stuff with. Everyone is too closed-minded, too dogmatic, too stuck in their little world. It's a lonely existence.

Aren't I just consciousness? Aren't I everything within the field of perception? I am the one who sees, feels, touches, hears, thinks, etc. and yet I have no physical form? Is that right?

I would take losing it all and be a failure in the eyes of humanity over being a major success, if the former is to bring me more happiness. I would consider the man who is starving and dying on the side of the road a bigger success than the billionaire, if it meant the starving man was more at peace and fulfilled. It’s as Jesus said, Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort.

I’m not enlightened so all I can do is conceptualize it. Someone please let me know if I’m way off base, but I believe if everyone is enlightened, they’d be detached from their identity and stories. It’s a high level of consciousness, so everyone would be aware of the dangers of judgments, hatred, ego, materialism, harming the environment on a significant scale, pursuit of power, dogma, and addictions. Sounds like a nice Utopian society, but humanity will be wiped out before we reach that level of awareness, considering the extremely low percentage of spiritually awakened people. We're on the conveyor belt to extinction, and it's a tragic reality. The end times are nigh.