Frogfucius

Sensual lust is my biggest hang up, and it's causing me much suffering. I'm not as bad as I used to be, but I've become aware that it's the single hardest thing for me to let go of. I can be in a blissful state, living in the present, and then my eyes will see an attractive woman pass by and I'm instantly pulled from my state, and back into desire mode. And from there, the image of her will continue to be in my head, and I'll become neurotic with thoughts. Not that I don't want a relationship with a woman, but I first want to completely detach from my mind's lack of control in this area. I don't want to engage myself in a relationship from a place of need or lust. Is the only way to rid myself of these desires to continue meditation? Any other practices? I've read about visualizations, i.e. picturing the desired person beyond the layer of their outer skin: picturing the bones, flesh, blood, organs, etc. Is this an effective practice? By the time I do this though, that means I've already engaged instant attraction.

@Matthew Lamot No, actually, your last post made a lot of sense. It was good to see that post after I effectively put this practice in motion.

@Matthew Lamot Success! I just came back from the gym, and I'm so happy. I was in a constant mode of self-enquiry, and my neurotic thoughts and lust quickly passed on by. I feel relieved and liberated... But I need to keep this up, constantly, or I'll fall back into the trap.

I think I've realized the problem. I'm attached to the suffering, and not just observing it and letting it go. This is holding me up on my path. Thanks guys.

@Matthew Lamot Hmm, maybe. I don't think about it too often when I'm meditating, only whenever I physically see an attractive woman do I get sucked into the marsh. @Mat Pav I don't suppress them, I let them ride. But after they have ridden, I feel suffering. I want to get to the point where I don't feel suffering at all. @Eelco1981 Thanks, I'll check it out.

@Matthew Lamot Maybe I'm mixing up labels here, but I tend to self-enquire while I meditate. I meditate for 30-minutes to an hour daily, and a good chunk of the time is self-enquiry, questioning me, the self, who or what am I, the sensations, observing my emotions, what are thoughts, etc. I just naturally do this, and I just let it ride.

@Matthew Lamot Right... So letting go of the self... I've been working on that, and reinforcing that through meditation. I guess I'm on the right path, then. Thanks for the advice.

This is currently the idea I'm trying to embrace. I can understand it intellectually, but subconsciously I'm not quite there. My ego still tried to hold on to the idea I'm a separate, unique entity. From a physics standpoint, the universe started as a single point: something so incredibly tiny (sub atomic level) and something so dense, we can't even fathom it as humans. That tiny, single point contained every bit of matter, energy, and force that is in the universe today, and then rapidly expanded with the Big Bang. Every bit of particles that make up you, me, and the entire universe were allotted to that single point, meaning we all began from the same exact point in history, we're all connected, and we continue to expand. I envision the expansion of the universe like a blooming flower, pictured here (only if this flower started from nothingness). Is the very end of a petal not part of the same organic being that the center of the flower is? It is, and just like you may see another person as physically distant from you, you're still part of the same organic being. Here are a couple of inspiring quotes that relate to this idea. “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” ~Albert Einstein “You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle.” ~Eckhart Tolle

It fits in for people who are at different stages with personal development. Check Leo's video on the stages: Me personally, I was on the ego-feeding personal level of self-development. It was fine and dandy for a little bit, but it made me more neurotic and depressed in the long run. From there, I was able to transcend into the more spiritual stage, and allieve my neurotic tendencies and depression.

@cetus56 Well put, my friend. I really enjoy that deep, intellectual perspective. Separating myself from my beliefs and thoughts, separating myself from what my mind thinks I am and what reality is, embracing all of reality through a clearer lens, and experiencing the cosmos as one entity has brought me more peace than any scientific explanation or religious doctrine ever has.

Trimming the fat is necessary in order to live a fulfilling life, and that goes for toxic friendships. For me personally, I've never cared to have friends. I got my social fix from my family, particularly my dad, brother, and sister. Unfortunately, I'm starting to see how egotistic, unfulfilled, and low conscious my siblings are. I don't judge them for it, because most everyone I know is this way, but these are my closest companions. I even live with my brother. But..even with this increased emotional distance from people, more than ever before, I'm actually more fulfilled than ever. Maybe that's just me, but I'm becoming accepting of my independent nature. Before, I thought it was a problem I had, and I sought ways to fulfill it. In reality, everyone is self-centric and judgmental (including myself). Ultimately, friends, family, and relationships serve only the ego. The more you can detach from the need for these things, the better. Not that you can't have these things or you're better off without them, but just be aware of why you have them. Is it for self fulfillment that you can't find on your own? Or is it because you genuinely love these people?

Awesome, appreciate it, man. I've only started this work a month ago, and I guess at this moment I'm using physical models as a way to transcend to the next phase. The models are not truth, but I do find them fascinating. I'm aware that I have to give up beliefs and everything to reach truth. I've already come so far from where I started, it's like a lifetime has passed from where I used to be.

Appreciate the insights, guys. But my question is: what is wrong with using measurable models to help me understand the spiritual, more significant side of things? I understand the trap of believing models as truth. But these scientific concepts and labels are just models of the actual reality, and not reality itself. Physics, evolution, Big Bang, etc.. These are all just THEORIES and not the truth. There's certain ideas in them though that help us model the reality of the existence we're in, and we can't intellectually deny these models as quantifiable in some form. If I didn't have an understanding of the idea we call "physics", "chemicals", and "neurons" and the reactions they create in our brain, I wouldn't even have taken up meditation, I wouldn't believe the existence of no-self, and I would be far more dogmatic and less open-minded, as I was before I started connecting these things to spirituality.

Agreed. I have learned to let go of nostalgia as much as possible. Up until recently, all I would do is look upon fond memories of the past and yearn for those feelings again. I didn't realize how much suffering that was actually giving me. I was painting a picture of fantasy, and avoiding the reality of the present moment. This made me highly neurotic without me being aware of it. Fond memories are great, but attachment to them is not. Once the moment has passed, it's no longer reality. I find it best when we think of something pleasurable, we just observe the thought and let it pass just as we would with something more mundane, or something negative.

I pretty much avoid modern pop music, and modern mainstream music in general, at all costs because it's low-conscious trash that makes me feel dumber and less self-actualized. These are just silly thoughts I'm sure, but music these days is so uninteresting and lifeless.

Hey, good job, man! I came to these realizations not too long ago too. It's absolutely liberating, isn't it? We can see through the guise of human relationships, whereas 99% of the people out there aren't aware that they're actually just illusions! When nothing no longer holds value in the mind, we can finally start living in reality. Good luck on your journey!

I just want to say that this tribal, warfare-like approach being used by BLM extremists is fueled by the media and by the mainstream. The media is constantly exposing us to cases about black individuals being mistreated by authorities, all because the 'ratings' and 'clicks' gain these media outlets money. What about all of the cases where black individuals are not mistreated? Or when the white individual is mistreated? Or Asian, Hispanic, etc.? No, the media puts a microscope on the isolated, extreme incidents of supposed innocent black individuals being wrongfully targeted and abused, inciting emotional and visceral reactions in people who may identify with the victim. And this is part of the reason mainstream media is cancerous to society at large, among thousands of other reasons. Note: I'm not saying there isn't a racial problem in our society, that abuse of power by authority shouldn't be uncovered, and nothing should be done about this. The problem isn't rooted with our enforcement: it's with our government. There's problems in our school system, there's gerrymandering, there's lack of educating and assistance in areas where people need it most (mentally), and some subcultures have a more psychologically overwhelming environment to deal with. But the media wants to point the finger at police and say "Here's your culprit, get'em!"

Since you're aware of yellow and what it dictates, and you're open minded about it, you're probably already partially yellow. The more you meditate, lower your ego defenses, and question reality, the more yellow you'll become.

You can read his manifesto here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/longterm/unabomber/manifesto.text.htm It's worth a read, and his insights still holds very much true 20 years later. Saying he took it personally is a great way of putting it.

Hey Leo, have you read the unabomber's manifesto? It's actually pretty interesting stuff, about how the demands of modern society, industrialization, and societal norms have taken man outside of his natural biological evolution, and thus caused modern man to suffer psychologically. He also says that primitive man were at much greater peace and fulfillment, because their needs were simpler and they were one with nature. The dude was crazy and dogmatic, yeah, but his ideas on modern society and why we have widespread mental illness is fascinating.

As seriously as you want to take it. It makes no difference if you sleep with 100 different women or 0, or if you get into a serious relationship. It's great experience, but it doesn't define you or make you happier inside, it's just a boon to the ego. I'm 25 and never have dated seriously. I've always wanted to, but psychologically I've held myself back. It was low self-esteem. With meditation and introspection, I'm slowly curing my confidence and emotional issues. But with that, I have realized that I don't actually care about sex and dating as much as I did when I had very low self-esteem. Those were desires that actually held me back from growing. I still enjoy these things, but I could never have intimacy with another person again and be completely okay with it. It's all an illusion, anyways. Everything we chase and desire are for our own ego and survival. But whatever makes you happy. Go out there and conquer the world, if that's what you need to do.

Basically, what motivated you to meditate and seek awareness? What's your story? For me, it was my depression and lack of emotional self control. On the surface, I have everything going for me. But inside, I always felt empty, and those feelings would lead to nagging suicidal thoughts. My logical brain that I should be happy, and my true emotional state weren't aligned. It got to the point where I was going to have a serious breakdown if I didn't do something about it, so I sought a solution. I remember reading a strange factoid: that in Buddhist Monks's brains, they have the greatest potential for happiness. I thought that was interesting, considering the perception is that they basically meditate all day and do very little else. I also remember watching a video of a Buddhist Monk that sat down and set himself on fire. The monk didn't even budge, and sat there calmly as he went endured what could only be the most excruciating pain. It hit me: the monks are on to something. I desired to have that kind of emotional control. I youtube'd how to meditate, saw Leo's video, and have been following ever since. I've been practicing mindfulness and self-awareness for a month now, and my depression and suicidal thoughts have disappeared. They creep up once in a while, but I quickly observe and then let them go. Distancing myself from society and human nature has brought me more peace than I ever thought imaginable. And yes, I realize that "we" don't exist and are just an illusion, but for the purposes of this topic, let's keep it simple.

The "love" I have for people, my family, friends, people I date, etc. no longer feels authentic. I feel like I'm entering neutral territory. I'm letting go of societal norms on how I "ought" to be. I'm still caring and nice to people, but it just feels like there's no value or meaning to these actions. Lasting romantic love is fiction. And love for friends/family only serves my need for socialization. But I don't see these things as negatives.. I see them as liberating. Is anyone else in this position? I used to be so needy and desperate to fit in and be loved and accepted, now I'm starting to not care at all. Psychologically and emotionally, I'm starting to distance myself from everyone..physically, I am still there though.

In today's society, our brains are constantly overstimulated. Our mind is getting blasted on all cylinders by everything from iPhones, TV, sports, video games, relationships, alcohol, hobbies, work, Internet, social media, eating, school, etc. We rarely give our brains a rest from all of the chaos. I think this may be a reason why depression and mental illness is so rampant: our minds are not biologically suited for all of this stimulation that has sprung up the past century. We're highly intelligent creatures, but our brain can only process so much before it starts to get overworked. Anyways, my point is, if you make it a habit to sit down and give your mind a rest from all of the stimulation, eventually you're going to calm it down. You may not realize how overworked your mind is at this point, but meditation brings it back to its natural state of peace and being in the present moment.

Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, these feelings come up during meditation, and they just kind of stick. I don't think I'm hurting myself, since I feel better and more authentic. It may be feelings of detachment that I have subconsciously longed for.