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Hello, it's been a while since I have updated this journal. Have I been practicing well? so so 1. Being Impeccable with my words For the past few days, I have been aware of my subconscious mind, especially as my meditation is deepening. Many bad and good memories. To overcome that, I meditate, visualize, and affirmate to my self daily. I am also reading a book called; mastering the core teaching of the Buddha. And trying to practice what is said there. 2 2. Don't take anything personally This seems to be the hardest because of my psychological problems. However, things are changing gradually. I no longer have images of fear about people, situations, or anything like that when I am alone. if I get one, that is very rare. 3. Don't make any assumptions Yes, it feels so good, not being trapped in your mind, and not making assumptions about the world. The more I meditate the I meet this agreement. 4. Always Do Your Best Things I need to do my best on are: Social skills, self-expression, and meditation. Honestly, I have not been doing my best in all of them. I have gone towards " The Zen Devil" Bullshit recently. Awareness= laziness. That is how I unconsciously interpreted it.

@Snick There is a book, Leo talked about called the hero's journey. Read it. I believe it is available online for free.

Wow! very impressive! How did you do that?

@Leo Gura I see. So, MY life purpose should always be about making an impact on other people's life. I got that. I have not bought the life puporse course, that is why I am a bit confused. Anyway, what if you are in a do or die situation. Like, you need to help your self and your familly members financiallywho are in a poor condition. You surely don't think about a life purpose, at least now, right? Is there a Karma that will slap me in the face if my concern now is just making money?!!

@Leo Gura Can my purpose in life be just freeing myself from " Money slavery". what I mean by money slavery is having to work in a job from 9 to 5. Having to interact with low conscious people, ect.

The best time to meditate and do self-inquiry work, i think, is at night. That incredible silence at night is really good to make you see what 's inside.

Heeeey. Back to my bloody journal. Opps!! I have just made an assumption. It's really heaven to live by the four agreement. Wow!! No assumptions on other things, or people. Only impactful words. Not taking anything personally. And doing my best. Oh Allah, anything I imagine now is coming true. Anyway, let me tell you what happned today. Today, I had to go to the bank in order to get my card. These days, only the thoughts that comes to my mind are: Always do you best. Don't make assumption. Always do what makes afraids, etc. You know? All of Leo's Bullshit . Things I visualied last 3 months are taking place in reality. But, there is still a lot to be practiced. My ego, my FUCKING ego is massive, as soon as I lose awarness, it comes with of its bullshit..btw...it says something true sometimes. Assumptions I made today on others The guys who were working in the bank are really blind. Their lives are SHIT. They are slaves to society, ect. Meanwhile that might be true, I should not have made this assumption. In the guy, Moustafa, the coach, is too much Masculine. He cannot attract girls that way. He does not know how the female psychology works, blablablahbal Being impaccable with my words Intelligence is knowing how to do things. Wisdom is doing it. That was my motto today. I did the things I planned.Well done motherfucker Don't take anything personally Well, I sitll have to work on that along the previous agreements,I think I am still attached to my sense of self. Especially when I am with ppl. Tonight, we pray that GOD would make us love everything and everyone without any judgment, attachment, ego, but only love and compassion. See Youuu

@Wouter I will meet you there!!

I do a lot of spiritual work, contemplation, learning, but I have a serious problem with being Authentic... What are the tools to real authenticity? or are there any spiritual practices I can do to become TRULY authentic??? Thanks

The question is the same as the above..

I am really gonna miss it, because it is not legalized where I live I think the reason why people, in general, do know about Truth is because Truth path is very hard to take. It takes massive responsibility to know Truth.

I truly believe that Poetry described enlightenment best. I would like to share with you a Poem of Alhallaj, who was a Sufi mystic.. Ennnjjooy I saw my Rabb (God) with the eye of my heart I said: who are you? He said: You “Where” with you has nowhere And there is nowhere where you are Illusion with you has no illusion Can illusion know where you are? You are the one who gathers every “where” To nowhere, so where are you? In my annihilation my annihilation perished And in my annihilation I found you In the effacement of my name and the outline of my form I asked about me so I said: You. My inmost secret pointed to you Until I was annihilated to myself, and you remained You are my life and my heart’s secret Wherever I may be, you are. You encompass everything with knowledge All that I see is you So grant forgiveness my God For there is nothing I wish for other than you

There is a great book called " No More Mr Nice, guy". Simply, practice the principle in that book. The only thing missing in that book, I guess, is meditation. Add a daily habit of meditation of 20 mins or more. Things will get better, I assure you Apart from that, There is nothing wrong with being nice, never was, never will!!

It is really amazing to learn how your nature works. One year ago, I thought that when the voice inside my head start mumbling, was actually my higher self. It very moral, fucking righteous. Now, I realize how egotistic, selfish, arrogant, it was. When I am at work, It sometimes comes and I try to observe it as hard as I can.

As I am writing this journal, a little bit of anxiety and fear arises. I am " AWARE THAT I AM AWARE" of the fear and the anxiety, though. That is good, bro What I mean by self-expression, in this journal, is mostly my communication skills, which of course (will) help me in many areas of my life. It's been a while since I am following Leo. It's exactly 330 days. So far so good. No Porn. No addictions. No Depression. No Overthinking. I am not going to let my EGO trick me into telling you that WOOOW I am so good. I have become great at this, that...bla..bla..bla. Instead, I (should) be RADICALLY HONEST. While being RADICALLY HONEST, I have to admit that there is still a lot for me to do wheeeee!! MY PLAN OF BECOMING FULLY SELF-EXPRESSIVE. Before I write the plan, I would like to state the following; throughout my life, I have not been good at expressing myself, communicating well, or being social. That creates for me a lot of problem with friends, classmates, family members, neighbors, ect. (WHY) DO I WANT TO BECOME FULLY SELF-EXPRESSIVE I want to become fully self-expressive because... It (will) help me a lot in my career. It (will) help me a lot in becoming more and more social. It (will) help me a lot in convincing my parents or my family on anything I want to do. It (will) help a lot when I am a father: When I am teaching my sons to become good human beings. It (will) help me a lot in my future in general. I cannot be authentic with being fully self-expressive... HOW DO I BECOME FULLY SELF-EXPRESSIVE The first start is keeping in touch with this journal. And rewriting the actions I take everyday. I (should) honestly write whatever happens during my practice; both the good and the bad I make. I (shall) write three pages of stories in my local language, which Moroccan dialected Arabic. I should write two to three pages of random stories, I found on the net. I write them, memorise them, and then speak them out in front of the mirror. I (shall) practice some exercises to open my mouth more. I use the techniques of singing, which also helps in communicating. Here is the first technique I am trying: The instant vocal fix; This is a quick trick that makes you sound better instantly so I called it the “Instant Fix”. Say A-E-I-O-U (watch your jaw movement in the mirror). Did your jaw close on any of the vowels? Chances are your jaw closed on the E and the U – and most likely on others too, if not all of them. Take your first two fingers and pull your jaw down 2 inches (or even better – use a plastic bottle cap or a cork (wine) to prop your jaw open). And speak the vowels again. And repeat again (we’re trying to re-program muscle memory – so the more the better). Now sing the vowels on one pitch. A-E-I-O-U. Your goal is to keep your jaw open (long not wide) without closing for all of your vowels. Repeat until you can do it. Now sing a phrase of one of your songs – and make sure your jaw opens to the same position on all of your vowels. You have to practice this a bunch before it becomes natural – but the more you do, the sooner this new movement is programmed into your muscle memory. And you might be one of those lucky ones who notice the improvement in the sound right away (it will sound louder and more resonant with less vocal strain). If you don’t – don’t sweat it – you will. It just takes a little practice. (You might have some unwanted tension in your neck, jaw and throat muscles – try loosening them up and try it again.) The next time you perform open your jaw more on your vowels — it’s a quick trick that makes you sound better instantly!( from http://caricole.com/) This, I (will) do for 30 mins. And for 1:30 or more, I (will) start speaking out the stories. I don't think it matters how I speak at first. 3 Hour Strong Determined Sitting meditation; oops! This is gonna be the hardest part, maybe!! but anyway, Before practicing, I promised myself to do a 3 hours strong determined sitting, because it (will) help me a lot to focus while speaking. That's the purpose of it as I have experienced. I (will) try to practice mindfulness while I am speaking as well. Overall, I (shall) use different techniques and choose the right one in order to be ruthlessly effective at self-expression. (When) Do I Want To See Myself becoming more and more self-expressive It doesn't matter, really!! but I still have to see progress during 6 months or 12 months as Leo stated in one of his videos. That's the sign that will tell me, I am in the right direction. (Where) am I going to Practice? I (will) practice in the bathroom in front of the mirror, because any other place (will) be distracting. I ( will) go out more with friends. I ( will) start a training in a private school, so it (would) be a good place to work on my self-expression. (Who) Am I Going To Practice With? No one simply, because no one is interested, but I (will) try to put myself in social situations. I (will) also try to befriend talkative MOTHERFUCKERS!! The first day is today... Ok? cool? Ready? Go!!

Disclaimer Because I have got a job in a call center, I am not going to follow with the old part of this journal. Things will be added: Real life interaction where I will have to be or act an extrovert. Communications on steroids with the customers we call everyday. The way I used those techniques in real life, ect. Because I won't have time, I will update the journal each weekend. However, I will write the notes on my notebook. Really, making some progress Here are the new things I need to work on instead of the old one. Giving compliments to my colleagues: Observe the person on the face. Once he or she looks you in the eyes, smile and send the compliment. The Flooding Smile: Observe the person, once he or she looks you in the eyes, throw the flooding smile. Don't pause your smile till the other person smiles back. Working On My Small Talk Skills: I have a great book on small talk. I will use different techniques and see how it goes

Ok, I am a guy who is not really into talking too much. In fact, I have some problems with self-expression, which is what I am working on these days. After raising my awareness a little bit. I tend to realize that talking is pointless... How a self-actualized or an enlightened person knows that when he is talking, It is not "his ego-talk"? And how does he or she know it in others as well?

“Why are you so enchanted by this world, when a mine of gold lies within you?” – Rumi

I have the same problem, and I am working on it these days. I think what you need is the following: Awareness: Try to meditate at least 2 hours a day. If you can't do it in one session, do it separately Improve Your Communication Skill: For example, you can talk to yourself loudly everyday, using different techniques, which can improve your tonality. See Things As There Are: if you see something happening, wether it is impressive or boring. Do not make it so inside your head, just see it as it. That will help, I THINK, when you are telling the story.

The first time I got really really scared of meditation, I was in my head like " Oh Wow!! what is going on?!! My body has gone, lol. Only my eyes remains..." Now my eyes are going; too. Are they mine? Yes and no. I feel now, when meditating, I am the whole sitting room. One day, i will be the whooole universe

Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advices, ‘Beware too much ecstasy’, whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.

No one is right. No one is wrong. Some live. Some don't. Simple as that. When I look at my religious father, or my religious neighbors, I see people who are living a simple life and happy about it, but as soon as I mention to them that things are waaay bigger than they think, they become biased, and they even get angry at me. So, I realize that their spiritual practices are great, but LIMITING at the same time as long as they think they are the only right people, or the "CHOSEN ONES" And I still don't understand ego very well

Day Number 5. 10/09/2016 I have Nothing To write today!!! 3 Hours Strong Determined Sitting: Failed for the 5th time. FUCK !! I feel myself close to it, though. Because the pain in my legs is decreasing. Another obstacle is the noise at home. I probably need to wake up early and do it. 2 Hours Talking In Front Of The Mirror: failed!! I talked to myself for 1 hour, but I could not keep talking to myself for 2 hours. 30 Mins Of Doing The Instant Vocal Fix: Done. I felt my jaw stretching and getting flat. It made it easier for me to talk naturally.