UnbornTao

Nah, Obsidian is markdown-based, so you have complete control over your files, and it works offline. Notion might better suit other's needs, but I appreciate the suggestion.

Give Obsidian a try. I use a simple structure but you can learn to make a bunch of cool stuff with interlinking, plugins, etc.

Even the nature of life is unknown to us, let alone a presumed afterlife. Notice that these are being taken for granted as already-grasped, and from that, more conclusions follow.

Do you think that something external to you could bring that about?

Start with what happiness is as it might not be what we as a culture have in mind. If it comes from circumstances, then how come not everyone who meet such conditions, whatever they are, is happy? Not to make "happiness" seem esoteric, but how come Ramana was said to spend his time in a blissful state living in a cave while insects bit his legs? Was it a luxurious cave? Were the insects giving him massages? See, these were secondary to the matter, just circumstances.

Have you ever found yourself "tired" one moment, only to have that change all of a sudden? Notice none of what you mentioned is physical but is rather a conceptually-based activity. Not doing those frees up so much energy. Likely your dilemma is about mental limitations.

What are we referring to by happiness here, for real? Is it getting what you want? Can you be happy whether you get it or not?

When Brad Pitt calls for help, you listen. Those reflect my Photoshop skill level.

That's it -- I'm moving to Shangri-La.

What's pain then, for real? I'd distinguish between pain and suffering, too.

How about biases that apply to both sides, starting with your omission of one side of the coin? Or better yet, biases that apply more broadly -- especially those from which one might be operating.

I don't think so.

@Sugarcoat 😂

First attempt at making tiramisu: an absolute disaster. Noticed three things I did poorly. Next time should go much better.

I bet you could find things to be bitter about -- or any emotional state and disposition for that matter -- in your life right now and in your past story, yet you are not. How come?

The principle isn't about control -- it's more profound than that. Refer to my response to Carl above for something more. What occurred, the facts, are most often conflated with conceptual addons relative to it -- story, meaning, charge, association, etc. Again, two people might suffer the same condition or experience yet react to it in totally different ways. Some people become lifelong therapy clients while others seem to go about just fine, pretty much undisturbed by it. I'm not explaining this very well. Moreover, if we consider that we create our selves, wouldn't we also be generating our suffering?

The condition is one thing; your relationship to it, another. Also, a lot of baggage might get conflated with the "condition," even though it isn't inherently part of it. By the way, I'm not suggesting that this is easy, or common, or that it can be accomplished through wishful thinking. In fact, chances are you'll simply feel victimized, which can be valid at times. But again, recognize your role in the situation and take ownership of it. Regarding the example you brought up, I'm not saying that responsibility means doing everything yourself, or that help isn't necessary. Being responsible for one's life and experience, as a principle, isn't dictated by external conditions. Obviously, without legs, you probably won't be able to run a marathon — though, even in that case, you could get implants or take part in a Paralympic-style marathon, or some such. The point is that how you view life and yourself is a subjective overlay on what actually happened, including adopting the martyr's role. It's like a playwright who creates a play while casting themselves as the victim of it. You can observe how people do this in less severe cases, and notice that it's an active process. Three-legged dogs seem totally unaffected by it. Why is that?

Okay

@Sugarcoat If you didn't care whether you survived in any way or form, would suffering exist? How does suffering come about? There's a reason why the Buddhists proclaim "No self, no problem".

Again, your nature is the case already, and fear a mind activity. Being abstract is of little use here.

Thank God you are God and are running your self.

And yet, it doesn't change the principle that, in the end, it is you who does it -- you just might have had some help in one way or another. To be clear, this isn't about blaming oneself, or anyone else, for that matter. It's just recognizing oneself as the one in the driver's seat. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not doesn't change that it is true and has always been. Regardless of the occasional validity of feeling victimized, you can do things. Speaking of hypotheticals, you can not get robbed, abused, etc., as ridiculous as that might sound. You can take action to prevent that, or create something else entirely. Even if it occurs, you can trace back the actions that you took preceding the event that led to that "unfortunate" end, and as a result take responsibility for what you did. Again, this isn't about self-blame -- just noticing your role in the play. It's not: "I'm bitter because I was bullied." Rather, it's more like: "This is the relationship I've unconsciously adopted towards a past factual event remembered by me as X or Y (not the facts that were involved but what's subjectively added by you)." Even then, notice that two people may interpret the same event in entirely different ways, leading to different views, reactions, and so on. I suspect that this viewpoint still stems from a mindset of "the world does it to me, and I'm just a passive observer." As if. Here's a fun experiment: What if you took a minor painful experience from the past, such as stubbing your toe on a piece of furniture, and turned that into a relationship where, from then on, you approached every piece of furniture with a bitter, angry, defensive attitude?

Who else but you? I mean, seriously. Whose experience is it? Perhaps you should start by considering who you take yourself to be--a self inside one's head that is merely at the mercy of what occurs in the real, objective external world. An exercise: Sit for half an hour, motionless and on the floor and whenever physical pain comes up, stay with it. How you react to that can cause a lot of unnecessary suffering. After all, the bodily sensation is just a sensation; it is when you put up with it and resist it that another layer of pain is added on top of a mere muscular discomfort. Who does that? In this case: Who is taking a physical sensation and doing all kinds of painful shit with it? You are stuck in the image on the left. When you move to the one on the right you'll cheer up, like that kid.