UnbornTao

We're talking about "existential" things and the human condition - perception, emotions, mind, experience, life, you, communication, another. We can perhaps trust that it is possible based on what others have said. In this case, it would be a matter of looking into what gender and sex are for themselves, their nature. People will live their lives however they want. The example is superficial. You're confused about the authenticity part. Don't overthink it. Tell the truth, mainly to yourself. For that, first you have to get clear on your experience. You know whenever something's not really authentic in your experience. It "stinks". Then be clear on that and drop the pretense. Acting as if you know what something is while you actually don't know -- that's a form of pretension. Acting tough, adopting a character that misrepresents your internal state, concealing one's feeling of incapacity in life, are others examples. The principle is profound. I recommend you read Radical Honesty by Blanton.

I would first look towards my own lack of understanding before focusing on another's. I'm sure there's a cute saying in the bible about this point. Is it the eye that's covered or something like that? Update: This is the one, by Matthew:

In order to move in the direction of what's true -- in every way, honesty is the main practice. So I would endorse authenticity and not pretense. He's got good stuff. Perhaps I should have clarified: it is communication coming from an individual that for me is hearsay until personally validated in experinece.

More like my own investigations, and then some hearsay by Krishnamurti.

It's the same domain, believing and disbelieving. Adopting beliefs isn't helpful when it comes to an open inquiry. Better to ask yourself what you are really conscious of, and to remind oneself not to pretend.

It's inventing stuff that covers up one's fundamental ignorance. Why not generate wonder instead? If you don't know, that's the best place to start as wonder naturally arises from that place. No reason to question if in your mind you consider you already know the "answers."

Read, respond and post some considerations and silliness of my own.

One is unnecessary and disempowering to an open investigation, which is what contemplation is about.

This is called making up a cosmology. Threw that away and start contemplating.

Other than that, be present and open. Clarify the subject of your contemplation. Aim for an authentic experience now. As if you were "waiting", avoid the tendency to quickly fill up the space with answers, conclusions, etc. Basically want to know what's true.

The only page I'm on is in not presuming anything about this matter -- contemplating.

"Don't be too nice" is usually a way to counteract the tendency of many guys to be overly agreeable around women they find attractive. It's not saying be a dick, or be insensitive, arrogant or disrespectful, or necessarily adopt a macho attitude. Be authentic, secure and grounded and do what works for you. This is coming from theory.

Easy there guys, keep it civil.

I implied my porn collection is too big for it to be manageable at all, I was joking. Barely got any porn.

It's convoluted rhetoric to me. Tell the source to clarify what he or she means. What is "balanced reality"?

"Hey I'm nice please sleep with me"

Maybe, it is whatever it is, go contemplate.

Didn't say that. I said that the Absolute is whatever's absolutely true, it is not a matter of only or many. But yeah, it is deliberate that I don't fill in the blanks about what "the absolute" is, primarily because I'm not conscious of it and even if I were, you'd tend to either believe it or dismiss it which are irrelevant, the only thing that matters here is direct, personal consciousness. Get you. That's all. Grounding helps as a way to direct the mind. It's a way to create a common ground so that we can talk about some matter. When it comes to enlightenment, it doesn't really matter, except perhaps in order to not to further bog down the mind with useless stuff. It also keeps you honest and tied to your experience, so it helps in that. These are still relative, which is okay -- language, communication, practices. The absolute, on the other hand, is unknown; better to toss everything you've got about it. It's up for grabs.

Maybe something that appears to exist but actually isn't true.

Finally a God I can get on board with.

A third possibility: experiencing the emotion fully without having to act it out nor suppress it.

Sure. Possibility is literally open-ended. But in order to talk about any topic at all, some grounding is needed. Saying it's all god doesn't say much, does it? It still leaves the question what is god open. So time to get down to business.

We should be careful not to conflate our understanding of a model with understanding what the model aims to represent. This is a subtle point that bears repeating. But good work overall.

@Yimpa what? We would also need to know what a paradigm is. But that's a different discussion. Paradigms are relative, your true nature may not be.