UnbornTao

It's okay. I understand if you saw my post as a bit harsh. It was meant to be helpful and to point toward certain directions, but sometimes my tone can come off as cold, analytical, or detached. It might have sounded like I was invalidating your experience or not quite keeping track. I appreciate the honesty. After all, who doesn't indulge their imagination sometimes? On the other hand, you could use this as a contemplation: Why did something a stranger say on the internet affect you? Why take it personally? Confront the discomfort, silly.

So be it. 😄 Even if it sounds familiar, it has to be experienced for it to make a difference. That's the hard part for everyone, me included. From what you said above, you might notice that your mind is overly imaginative in this sense - creating images of various futures, treating them as real (in a way), and then reacting to them. It's okay to do that, of course. In some ways, thinking about the future is necessary and useful, such as when planning things. Still, I think it's something worth exploring. Focusing exclusively on the present moment, especially on physical sensations and the objective world, tends to calm the mind. And this can help increase your tolerance for certain "unpleasant" experiences. Perhaps it's this kind of mental activity - and taking it too seriously - that gives rise to much of your aversion to relatively benign forms of discomfort. In your example, you seem to be reacting to something initially imagined: your craving for an "apocalypse." It might be an ideal you're holding onto, something that you hope will come in the distant future to "save" you. Obviously, my point isn't to actively seek out discomfort, but rather to embrace some of it, not to be so against it - which is what I hear from some of your points. I could be wrong, though. I'm not sure if this helps much.

Loving it. I'm not sure alien is the right word, though. Looks promising.

I was agreeing with you, to a degree. The fact of the matter is that no belief, regardless of its content, can change our experience of being or of having a very solid sense of self. In any case, if we grant that it's an unknown, then no possibility should be discarded. You might be God, an object, or the color yellow. What are you? That's the thing to look into.

"Please, Carol." Looks promising, for sure. First chapters have delivered, in my opinion.

I can see what you mean.

I appreciate the willingness to acknowledge what one's experience actually is, despite any belief to the contrary. Both God and no-God can easily become adopted beliefs. Don't pretend that a belief is the same as the truth. If it turns out that the latter is unknown in your experience, then start with that.

"It's the story, stupid." To Infinity and beyond!

You could get into your experience of it by asking things like, what am I actually avoiding? Is it objectively happening now, or am I imagining a future negative scenario? What am I unwilling to experience? If you were willing to experience some form of discomfort, the impulse to avoid it would likely subside. Is there an unconscious belief or wish that your experience should always be positive? Or that you are personally incapable of handling uncomfortable circumstances? Just some questions. Also, a practice of deliberately seeking out minor forms of discomfort can help, e.g., cold showers, strong-determination sitting meditation, various forms of exercise, eliminating an addiction for a time, and so on.

I really can't speak to your particular case, but there's a curious dynamic that might apply here: the more comfort you seek, the more discomfort you're likely to find - or generate. Perhaps there's some degree of avoidance involved, based on wanting an experience made up only of good or positive things. But again, I'm not sure. Can you pin it down in your own experience? Whatever it is, or however it shows up - disposition, feeling, thought, physical sensation - try to notice it directly and get a sense of what it is. This will help you get even clearer on your experience of it. That alone goes a long way toward dissolving it.

@Ramasta9 OK, I see you're committed to that.

You keep struggling to acknowledge the real historical examples above. It's possible for you to realize the truth now, exactly as you are. Nothing needs to change - certainly not your "clothing."

Marge becomes a robot... tooh dooh tooh dooh do

Then fuck me.

@Anonym ChatGPT, are you there?