SFRL

That's a well written story. Definitely a upward going growth line there.

Yeah you collected four clips that say all the same. I can collect ten clips that will all say the same thing, but the exact opposite, so that then automatically makes it the truth? Or more truth, because I got ten clips right? On the point of "how things actually work". Well that's the matter of perspective. You like to talk about how things actually work when you are in a very long term relationship, married etc. But that's not the same thing as a young person, or a young guy exploring his possibilities with women. You are talking like this old grandma completely disconnected from the realities of a young guy entering the dating scene. Your advice might be great for a 40 year old woman. Not for a guy in his twenties.

Yeah it's not either this or that though. It's not black or white. The idea that a guy who picks up a girl wears a mask all the time is just a storyline invented to downplay a PUA. PUA like all people can adapt and chance. The first 3-5 dates the dynamic is very different then the relationship will be at the 3 months mark, or the 6 months mark, or the one year mark, or 3 or 10 year mark. It's not a static environment. Sure we all want that deep emotional connection with somebody. But to pretend that you got to have that deep connection when you just meet the girl is just very shallow to me. So don't even pretend. That stuff takes time and work and shared experiences.

Most Players, the sensitive people that we are, understand this at least at an intuitive level. That's why we refer to ourselves as "Daddy". I think we deserve more credit.

Girls they don't even like it when the guy can't pull the trigger. Like when some guy is trying to impress the girl with his analysis of peace in the Middle East. The girl is just sitting there wondering if he is actually planning on launching his cruise missile. If Mr. President doesn't have access to the launch codes then he isn't really Mr. President is he? Then how is he going to protect her from the mean mean world? Getting the girl and the way you do get the girl actually shows her a lot about how you will assert yourself into the world.

That's complete bullshit. What's more likely is that at some point he will meet a girl that he really likes and then he will adjust his behaviour accordingly. There are different phases to dating and relationships, marriage etc. The end game for most PUA guys is to get that one girlfriend they really like.

@Chumbimba yeah in all honesty I got to admit that by doing that you tend to walk with open eyes into the next dysfunctional relationship. At least thats how it often turned out for me. It does help with getting over breakups though. The dating scene is pretty harsh anyways, and that goes both ways, coming from men and women. So I am not to hung up on morals. But some girls really don't deserve it. Doing things 'the right way' is not the easiest but it usually pays off better in the end.

Now I am thinking, in Saudi Arabia they don't have those issues you are describing. They might have some expat jobs there for you.

Well you can teach all men all that but then you solved only 50% of 'the problem'. ? Same thing if the girl is in the club just dancing and Beyonce goes "All the single ladies, all the single ladies". Fucking confusing....

Guys hit on girls in clubs, what else is new? I don't think that's a recent thing. That stuff has been going on in our grandparents age. When they went to 'the dance'. You can either tell her to stop going, or you can start going with her, or she can decide to stop going herself if it's troubling you/her. It's a club what you expect? Maybe she has outgrown the club scene. Then it's up to her to shift gears and make adjustments. Find a new activity.

@Knock first you take your Viking ship on a raiding party. Then you come by this little innocent Fisherman's village and you said the place. Burn it to the ground. You take a girl from there on your ship and you bring it back to your village. Then you take her to your hut and chain her to the dinner table. The chain should be like 10 feet long so she can move around scrubbing the floor and roasting the meat. Then after a while you are like "she is actually kind of cute". Then you release the chain if she promises not to run away. Then if she doesn't run away you start buying her some nice dresses and things. Then you make some baby's with her and if she bears you a son you make her your queen. From there you can start conquering the world together. Thing is a guy first needs to get the girl before you can build a relationship with her. Cant be putting the cart in front of the horse.

This is counterintuitive but I would respectfully suggest that you start fucking everything that moves, as long as it got a heartbeat you are good to go. It goes against your feelings now but you will feel a lot better after. Then by the time you go to Spain you are in a lot better headspace to make a move when that cute Spanish chick or international student from Sweden comes along.

Average is just living to pay the bills.

@Chumbimba if you go trough the trouble of asking on an online forum if you should breakup with your girlfriend, that should basically tell you enough. You better go enjoy those months in Spain because she sure will.

Meanwhile at the RSD forum....lol

People say, "Kris why you teach so much? Why you preach so much? Why you speak and such? Why you so bent on reachin each of us?" I reply because you eatin with us In the future our children will be meetin with us Have a seat then with us and start speakin with us They'll be critiquin us to be sure they believe in us We don't need a problem

Beggars can't be choosers.

I agree. Let me start out admitting that I am pretty much a novice when it comes to spirituality. When it comes to dating I consider myself advanced though. What you get a lot on here is that people are maybe intermediate level when it comes to spiritual work. And intermediate when it comes to dating. If that. And then they forcefully try to combine the two. Which really leads to concepts that leave a lot to be desired. Not saying that in theory it can't be done. But you really need to be a master at both to pull that off. Just my opinion.

@DrewNows thanks

@Flatworld Crusades Your best bet is to go on at least one date with all of them. Maybe two dates. After that start eliminating the ones you don't like. Probably by the third or fourth date there will be one left that you like. Then you can have sex as well. At the his point you just go off appearances. Guy 1 and 3 for example may very well be the sweetest/best guys of the bunch, but that just doesn't seem like that right now. Guy 2 could be the worst. Who knows. Not that it really matters if you are just looking for sexy and casual you might just as well have sex with all four of them and leave it at that.

Attract to someone physically when you just met them, of course. Attracted to them emotionally though, if think you got to second guess that. What does that really mean? From my experience you really don't know anything about the person unless you have known them for 3 months. Building up a real mutual deep connection takes like 6 months. So what you are emotionally attracted to initially is just an idea that you fabricated in your mind about them. To put it a bit more cynical, a fantasy. That idea, it never really overlaps 100% with reality. So pretty much always that bubble sooner or later is going to pop. And then what happens is that you will have a feeling of disappointment and anxiety. Now you got to ask yourself, is that even fair towards the other person? Not really. You are basically holding them to a standard they can impossibly meet. Everyone does this to a degree. If you do it too much it's called putting in a pedestal. People don't like this. Hot girls definitely don't like this because it happens to them all the time. So basically they need to disappoint the guy every time. Then the guy will start acting needy or upset and it is just not a pleasant situation to be in.

When you are on a date, let's say a Tinder date, and you have never met the girl before usually it's starts out with a hug right on meeting. That's just a formality. What I usually would do is touch/tab the girl on the side of the shoulder first with my fingers with the outside if my hand. The point is it's not intimidating. Because it's the outside of the hand you can't/won't grab her. You can do that with the knees as well. Those are non sexual areas. If she doesn't react dismissive you can build it up from there. Also you can scratch her on the knee with just your index finger affectionately (affectionately not a sexual vibe). While you tell her she got nice earrings or whatever. A nice well ment comment. If she still reacts positively you can build it up and escalate from there. It also helps when you are in a setting where you naturally are close to each other. Like movies or having drinks (always sit next to her not acros from her). If you do happen to sit acros of her it's your job to move it sitting next to her. Always start out slow. If you grab her right away it can easily be considered a grope. If you build it up slowly it's sexual escalation.

Best way is to start dating other girls, have sex with them if you like. Overtime you will get more clues about what's really going on. Also if she really wants it, she will bring up exclusivity when the time is there. You don't do that first.

I forget to mention. When there are more guys in the picture and things are moving slow think of this: Most guys will be fucking up. They get needy. So when there is you and let's say two other guys in the picture, your first response is "I got to move fast before they got a chance". But, when they get the chance they will more likely then not fuck up. Meanwhile you do everything right, more importantly you are not fucking anything up. That way you give those other guys time to make mistakes. You got to give them enough rope to hang themselves. Then you will be the last one standing. And you will look much better in comparison.

Well fuck dude that is a GREAT way to frame it that way. You can start accusing/teas her of being obsessed with your brown eyes. She even went as far as putting it as her pop icon... That doesn't even have to be true. You just create that narrative. Let her deny it haha. Even if she denies it, hold frame, and still claim it's true. Great opportunity to be cocky-funny.