SFRL

I have no idea....I am just giving you some practical advice.

You should always be one persona; your authentic self. You don't need to leave them all behind and move away. What you need to do is set up some strong boundaries and keep more of a distance. Don't call people for no reason just to keep the codependent relationship in tact. Same goes for texting, messaging etc. Also I bet some of these codependent relationships involve money, you being the one who receives money. So what you have to do is make more money. Because that way the other party in the codependent relationship won't have any leverage anymore. And you can set those boundaries. So finnish college and get a real job. Or ask for a raise. Or change jobs where you can make more money.

Friend zone means no sex. Yes there is such a thing as friends with benefits but that's something very different. That's just another word for fuckbuddies. And some people like to differentiate between friends with benefits and fuckbuddies but to me it's really the same with a different pretence. You don't want to be in the friend zone. You don't want to go on dates and not get sex. That's like smoking without inhaling what's the point? Once you have sex the dynamics are very different. When there is sexual tension in the seduction it's also very different. And when you find that one girl you want to ace that right? So don't get friend zoned. With the online dating thing I am not talking about just talking to girls via messenger on the internet. It's about meeting girls online. Not overseas but girls right in your area. You can find many girls online right in your area, then talk to them online, build some intetest, and then meet them in real life, going on real dates. You are right in a way that seducing girls is a technique of its own. You can be a guy with lots of money and good looks but if you have no "game" you are still not going to be very successful with girls. These skills you will have to practice in real life though so you will have to take start making steps to make that happen in real life. *The advice of simply asking girls for sex.....yes that actually works when you just play the numbers game. If you send 100 girls a message: "I am going to fuck you silly". 95 girls won't want to talk to you. 4 girls will talk to you. And 1 girl will be a nympho and actually go along with it. So you will get laid that way. But you have to ask yourself; what is the quality of the women you attract then? Also there is no real skill in that. It's more like you will just empty your magazine in the dark and then eventually you will hit something. Also going that route can be very toxic. The local online dating community, it won't be an infinite source of women. There are still only so many women online in your area. And if you weirded all of them out by asking straight up for sex then that's that. When you go fishing you want to do it in a sustainable way for the eco-system so to speak.

No that way he is going to get friend zoned.

Just the awereness that I am a normal person living in a dysfunctional world makes a lot of things just slide off my back.

@electroBeam You really should throw your life around right now. You are living the lifestyle of a mega extrovert while you are an introvert. That is actually preventing you from being with girls because it's followers behavior. Also it's a huge waste of time. All that time wasted you could use to cultivate your true interests and strong points. What you should do is make an online dating profile TODAY. You are on here online theorizing while you could take action. There are free sites out there like pof.com. There you can talk to girls and set-up dates and get exposure to being with girls. Also you will get to be with them one on one and dating and sex are on the table because you met via a dating site after all. The biggest thing to have succes with girls is: MAKE YOUR INTENTIONS KNOWN. You want to have sex with her; TELL HER. You want a relationship with her; TELL her. Take no prisoners.

@xxBryantxx its like many experiences in life. You can do them for a while but then after that the novelty and the learning factor wears off and when you get stuck in them they become counter productive. So you will have to stop doing them or seriously cut back on them.

@xxBryantxxonce you come from a place of abundance it's easy to see the short comings of living the life of a pick-up artist. But I think it's better to have really experienced it, and then you can draw your own conclusions rather then going by the word of someone else. Ultimately for me that one long-term relationship is more fulfilling and productive.

I will put some things in perspective for you. The girl says she never had an orgasm/or that it's very hard for her to do so. Either way it's not you messing up there. Secondly she goes crazy during the sex so she doesnt experience it like bad. Also what do you try to make her orgasm? Most girls don't orgasm from the dick. I would say only about 1/4 to 1/3 of them can. And even then not every time they have sex. So you either have to finger her clit, or you have to go down on her. Oral sex being the most effective method when you get some practice. How do you practice you may ask? Just start doing it. Maybe watch some videos. Also if she never had an orgasm and you go down on her licking her pussy she may find it weird and maybe make you stop. Because if she never had an orgasm from it then she can't appreciate it like that yet. For her all she knows pleasure comes from the dick. But just practice oral sex on her, if you have to take a few attempts, it doesn't need to be a first try success. So you have to understand that girls are not all the same. Some really can't come. For some it's very difficult. For some it's very easy. Also the intensity differs. With some girls it's really hard to make them orgasm but then when they come it's like Armageddon is happening. Some girls they come real easy, and it seems like they just have one orgasm after the other like it's one 20 minute orgasm or so but it's not that intense. Some girls come easy but it's very feint and barely noticeable. Some girls.....I can go on the variety is endless.

My suggestion is you look at Leo's video about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Then start at the lowest level of the pyramid. And take actions to master that level and then go to next level and take actions to master that level and so forth.

@Stoica Doru I deleted Facebook. I went back on it a few days ago and found it repulsive. So I we deleted it again. This whole process took like 5 minutes. I deleted it once before and went back for like two months. It's definitely an addiction yeah. It's like quiting smoking after that there is a void. Big spaces of time that you don't know what to do with.

The problem I see with making family your priority is that it's bound to make for codependent relationships. I am starting to believe that the majority of people's problems are because of codependency issues. People will choose their career paths based on their parents expectations, etc, etc. All to get the approval and not disapproval from their parents. More often then not those choices are not truly their own. The first relationship anyone has is with their parents. When children get raised much of it is done by giving rewards and handing out punishment. So the message kids grow up with is you NEED to be like this or you get no reward/get punished (rejected). We live in a codependent society because from the day we get born that's all we know. This goes on when the kid goes to school. Kid HAS to be like this/answer like that or the kid will get low grades. Kid answers desirably kid gets good grades. Now the kid gets older and wants to go study. Kid chooses study the parents approve of kid gets money. Kid chooses the wrong study in the parents eyes they won't give the kid money. So the message throughout life is you NEED to be like this to receive love, approval, money, anything else. So this love often it's a conditional love. And it's also an investment by the parents initially and later by the child as well. The parents invest their resources in the kid and the kid should reflect what they NEED it to be. And the kid invests time and effort to become that what it's parents desire so it gets the love it NEEDS. When kids become the life purpose that means all resources go into the kids. Part of the resources go into the kids regardless as it should. They are a responsibility and they need these resources initially. The point is the parents should not condition the kids in such a way that the parents NEED something back. If the kids become the life purpose then all resources go into the kid. Now if you put all resources into something and it's your life purpose then you will strongly identify with it and expect a return of your investments. Leading to codependent relationships if relationships are your life purpose. Then later when the kid is older and it goes to form relationships with others outside the family and school institution all it knows is the dynamic of a codependent relationship. Also if your kids are your life purpose then what else do you have to give them other then giving them shelter, food, money and some manners and some education? Nothing else because you had no life purpose. So how I think you should deal with it is go after your life purpose, and value your family. Make yourself happy outside your family so that you can give more love then you have to receive.

We would be living in closer harmony to animals and nature I think. Because we would pay more attention to body langue and patterns in nature like they do.

@Shane Roberts I made a spelling mistake. I fixed it. I meant "how many people BEYOND college age are happy?" You are right that a lot of people in college are not even happy. But people beyond college? It's a complete disaster. And that's why you should be happy you are in college. And that's why I say that after college follow your passion and passion only. Because otherwise you will become a zombie. Even a job that looks like it makes a lot of money....no passion....no career progress because you won't be able to stay productive for many years....no big money. Of course you need a job that will pay decent money. You need to be able to pay the bills. But a job that you are passionate about is in the long run likely to make you some decent money at least.

@Shane Roberts True. Don't worry about that now. Get that Psychology degree now and enjoy that process. For all the worries life will probably turn out ok as long as you keep making the right moves. Meaning get that degree and take a wholistic approach to self improvement. Don't stress your life away. And after college make sure you do something you are passionate about. Only that way will you keep growing as a person. Otherwise that job you don't enjoy will suck the life out of you in ways you can not even imagine right now. Most people go downhill after college because they get stuck in a rut after college and a job they don't like. Look at the the people at the bus stop or the subway station that are beyond college age. How many of them look happy?

@Shane Roberts More then half the people don't have a job in the field that they got a degree for. Also Psychology is a very broad field so on the upside you are not trapped in a corner. I think you could become anything from a Cop to a Therapist to a Teacher to a Salesman.

@Life altough I think it's something that you can work with and even enjoy I can see how this behaviour can be labeled as "lower self". What I find is that when you focus really hard on a problem that arises from the lower self and it won't go away it's worth focussing on other areas of your life where you can eliminate or decrease the influence of the he lower self. Just an example: No longer being attached to social media. You can come up with your own examples. When you shift your focus working on one area it's interesting how sometimes other areas dominated by the lower self start to fall away as well. Or you start solving problems or get insights about areas affected by the lower self that you didn't even know were an item for you. I think its because as a whole you will have become an improved version of yourself. And then you can tackle problems that you maybe can't now or could not before.

The same here. I deleted my account a while back. Just yesterday I logged in for whatever reason and it was the same old same old. Now I found it repulsive and deleted it again right away. I must be really over it now.

Is that plastic or glass? I started buying baby water from the brand Gerber because it doesn't have fluoride added. But I want to drink as clean as possible because water is the main thing I drink.

It sounds to me you are best of staying in college. If you are into all this stuff being covered on this website Psychology is probably one of the best things for you that you could study. Also 15K is not that much. It sounds like a lot to you now because as a college student the best job you could possibly find right now is being a barista at Starbucks or something. Once you start working a grown mans job you can pay that money off in a reasonable time. Also you mention your study does grow you a lot. Sure you can teach yourself. But I assume you are a full-time student now. So when you are not going to study what are you going to do? Work full-time? Where are you going to do that without a degree? Unless you got some great plan probably at a low paying job full time. That leaves little time and energy to teach yourself. Right now you are in the position to teach ON TOP of your psychology study. It's gaining knowledge at a double rate.

@Life I don't see the problem. Own it.

@Yang Noctus I think you are actually asking a very intelligent question. And I think you hit exactly the point that some people are missing. The focus is often on meditation, enlightenment, transcending, etc. But that's the top of the pyramid. And I don't believe a whole lot of people build a strong foundation. It is really important that you got a good foundation build. And at your age it's perfect to start working your way from the bottom to the top. Watch this video about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You will see that transcendence is only at the very top. https://www.actualized.org/articles/using-maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-to-self-actualize

I am wanting to become a personal fitness trainer as a first step to a bigger life purpose. I do have a job where I have lapses of time where I do have time to study an online course. I don't want to put that time to waste with sitting around. Does anyone have advice on some online course where I can get an widely approved certificate to be an personal trainer? I do live in the USA.

@STC @MHarris @MHarrisMy point is that those are the basics you want to have covered if you want to pick up girls. Otherwise it's just mission impossible. I googled "dating for disabled people" and got plenty of hits. You can do the same. I dont know if disabled is exactly the right word, but the point is you can find groups and/or dating sites for people that ho trough the same thing as you. And realistically I think that's a threshold you could take. That's the great thing about the internet. You can find anything you want on there. Also look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs. There is a video about that under foundational videos. It's a basic need you are trying to full fill.

@MHarris so what else are you doing in your life? Study, work, got your own place? Go to the gym, got hobby's, wear nice clothes?