SFRL

The way you describe 'bitches' is what I think a lot of women's idea of the ideal man is. I don't really look at 'bitches' that way. I do make a distinction between two types of women though. One is what they call in rap music a 'bad bitch' which is a very pretty sexy girl that is great in bed, but not necesairly morally sound. And she did become great in bed because she already has had many sexual encounters. And then there is the typical good girl. A little shy, dresses nice but not provacitive. Well mannered. Loyal. She hasn't had many boyfriend's. But she is also not very freaky in bed, and a little boring at times in her behaviour. Although very sweet. Now the thing is I love sex. And that's what I can get from a 'bad bitch'. Yet I also like the good girl qualities. The thing is that girls do not tend to max out on both categories. So you can't have it both ways. It's like the men's version of the 'bad boy' VS the 'nice guy'. The challenge is to find a balance there.

As a guy you want to 'level up' ofcourse. There are always going to be be people who are more attractive to you or less attractive to you. (Or women in general). Now that being said there are legions of women out there with completely unrealistic worldviews that are not productive to stable relationships. It's not always men who are to blame.

Another thing is that being a 'kind and honest person,' or a so called 'nice guy' or 'good person' doesn't really get you any bonus points. That's a basic requirement. Just like getting up in the morning and taking a shower and brushing your teeth. It's something that you should expect of any person. A self proclaimed 'nice guy' will say things like: "I respect women that's why I don't treat women like a badboy does". The thing is the self proclaimed 'nice guy' would not know how to ignite that attraction in a woman even if he tried. So him being 'nice' is being 'nice' from a position of incompetence. It's all he got. A girl is not going to sleep with a guy because he is doing something that you would expect from any human being. She will sleep/date/marry the guy for the extras he brings to her life compared to other men.

@Baz the best way you can get over approach anxiety is to get more exposure to approaching/dating women. You know those World War II movies where you have this one new guy diving for the ground into a puddle of mud because a bomb goes off in the distance, and then there is a group of veterans standing by laughing and smoking a cigarette. You need to get more 'battle hardened' and when you have gone through the situation many times, and this will include rejection, you will be much more care free around women. So start talking to and dating women by any means.

If you are having these issues you better hit the gym and adjust your diet.

I think that women are hypergamous in nature. Meaning they prefer to date up. Some men tend to criticize women for that. The way I see it is as a man you are better off accepting that truth. And look at it this way; you got your work cut out for you. Women seem to always want to be with a guy who has an edge on them. Wherever that edge may come from. It can be finances, living conditions, education, fitness level etc. All these things are part of life experience. So yeah women prefer more experienced men. A man with less life experience as the woman can't lead her. Which is not attractive to her. On the other hand a woman with less life experience then a man can ignite a sense of protection in a man. Which will make him feel more manly, and therefore more attracted to her. That's part of the reason why it's not a good idea for a woman to sleep around much, and the reason why sleeping around decreases her value. I don't think a man necesairly needs to be in the same physical shape or better then the woman. As long as he is not out of shape/fat. Women seem to rate men on alot of different items. But after the complete balance is made up she must seem to have the idea that the man is at least as good as she is, preferebly better.

"Pickup" generally is a form of behaviour that is meant to seduce women. The reason why a guy seduces a woman can vary greatly. A guy that starts dating a girl from his church to marry her and then have sex with her after marriage will still do "pickup" in one shape or form. So does a guy who sleeps with a different girl every week. "Pickup" is all about learning the Laws of Attraction which are generally the same accross the board. Confidence and a sense of humor are generally very attractive traits in men to all women. And are necesairy to be successful for the guy looking to marry his highschool sweetheart and the guy looking for one-night stands. While on the outside pickup can look very different from one case to the next the techniques are very much the same. The intend is up to the person doing the pickup but that's not pickup in itself.

What we have here is a woman with common sense.

That's always a good sign. Definitely something you can work with.

I have switched to Tazo Chai Tea. I like it a lot. It makes me really mellow and at the same time very focused. It's not the manliest of drinks, but hey Ying and Yang you know. That's what I prefer to drink over the day now. And sometimes I will drink coffee strategically when I need some peak energy when I get rushed.

Good sex is definitely important to me as well yes. It's more important then looks to me. In general it seems like better looks do result in better sex for me. Although that relationship isn't necesairly always true. Intelligence seems to be important for the long term succes of the relationship in my experience. From my experience it works best with a partner of equal or greater intelligence. That's specially true when it comes to conflict solving.

https://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-dark-triad-test-1 Here is a Dark Triad personality test. The 3 Dark Triad personality traits are Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy.

Push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks. Do we get to furnish this room?

@YaNanNallari man you are fine. She enjoyed it, and she even made out with you. So you are moving right along. Usually you have feelings for this girl right? So one off night because you had your business to handle doesn't change a thing. And like I said she enjoyed it so you are good. You will always have these moments and days. Man you can even have weeks, months or years like that. Do you think that if you let's says marry this girl and you stay with her till death do you part. Do you think that you will never have a moment where you are not feeling it? Of course you will. But it's about the bigger picture man.

@Peace and Love women should not make themselves less hot looking because guys get intimidated by their sexiness. If women stop wearing sexy clothes, and lipstick, no longer do their make-up, no longer wear high heels, and no longer dance sexy in the club because guys are afraid to talk to them.......thats INFLATION. Everybody loses. Honestly I believe that if a woman is not slightly 'intimidating' then she is not worth it. Then you can do better. As a guy you have to understand that feeling 'INTIMIDATING'. Intimidating is not what it really is. Its something else. Its: "Flight or flight". Everybody has that mechanism. When you are faced with a dangerous or challenging situation you can do two thing. 1)Run 2)Fight. It was that way when men had to hunt Mammoth to eat, and its like that when you have to approach a woman. Back in prehistoric days you could put traps to catch rabbits, You could pick berrys if you wanted to play it real safe. But the meat and resources like hide and bone from the Mammoth were far more tasty and rewarding. That did come with a risk though. So you had to choose make that kill or eat berrys. The same when you approach a woman. The sexier the woman the more options she has with men. So as a guy to stand out you have to bring your A-game. Or you might get rejected. But the reward is higher as well. Also for personal development as a guy when you want to get that sexy woman. That way you cant cut any corners. You have to build yourself up to be the quality guy that can get women like that. So a guy has to embrace that fight or flight feeling. Understand that what he has spotted is a woman that is not 'intimidating' but worth effort. And get hunting. Or he can run and eat berrys.

Becarefull man, that could easily be interpreted as an insult on her end. You are a young man you got your whole life to live!!! Don't do it!!!

Ego alert!! ?

You will need a job. If I was in your position I would look into being a flight attendant or work on a cruiseship. Decent money and lots of travel. These are also highly social jobs but hey rise to the occasion. Also you don't necesairly need an education in those fields to get the job. The company will train you for that job. Or get certified as a personal trainer. You can do that online in like two months. And meanwhile hit the gym. Your body probably needs better taken care after. And on the upside you are 30 and reborn now buddy. You fucked up your life so far, so did and will a lot of other people. Going into your 30s and 40s wait for the waves of divorces, burnouts, and midlife crisis among your peers for a level playing field?. (Dark humor)

Hey Leo, I think your channel is great. I have been following it for a year now. And I have been getting some good results. What I think would be cool is if you were to start a series of travel documentaries where you travel to Mystical places all around the world and tell people all about these different Mystical Traditions. Like in Japan, Tibet, India, Peru, The Vatican, Mecca, tribes in the Amazon and Africa etc. etc. You could tell about their background story, interview people, and show the places on film, and participate yourself. You have great knowledge about these thing, and you have a good presentation on camera and a good voice. Maybe you could launch the episodes on a TV network or otherwise you already have a successful channel here on Actualized.org where you could launch it. Regards, STC

@eskwire congratulations. I wouldn't say the belts don't matter. I try not to think in absolutes like that, but rather try to see it in the right perspective.

@Vaishnavi conversations in person can do that as well. But these people you will have to interact regardless, you still need to go to work or school. A typical friendlist on FB got like what 300 'friends'? All sharing their information that's completely useless to you. This all goes into your head. By deleting FB you will open up more space in your head. It's a minimalistic approach. So you can focus in the important things that are left.

America definitely got issues lol. I live in the US now. When I go back to Europe I can tell that people in Europe generally seem happier.

@Richard Alpert If people actually work out at 30 yes. Otherwise they will go down the drain fast. People in their teens and early 20's they tend to be in at least half decent shape no matter what they do.

@eskwire so did you get the black belt? I would congratulate you. But I cant make that up out of your story. Now you see you say you meet your health and fitness goals there doing Karate. Now you see that is a very important thing, but thats something you take for granted and therefore not give the proper appreciation. I used to do boxing competitively. And I was in great shape. I trained a lot and very hard. And of course I knew that I was in great shape because of the hard training. Being in better shape then the other guys was my goal because I knew that way I could beat them. It wasnt about health or looking good. That was a nice side effect, but the goal always was beating the competition. When I was 17/18 and I just started boxing I would go train outside with some guys outside of gym hours. There was this guy I trained with he needed to get ready for a fight, and I wanted to learn so I helped him out and he would teach me some things. And we came to this conversation, I was 18 he was 30. And he said: "When you are your age you have the eternal youth. Because every year you get older you are the same age. Every year you get older you are still young. But there comes a time that you get older. Then you can see you get older,and you will feel you get older. And then you realize you get older and you dont have the eternal youth anymore." And I am like nodding my head like "yeah, yeah, yeah" saying I understand. I mean I looked up to this guy right. And he is like: "No you dont understand. At your age you cant understand. Right now you have the eternal youth. But you will understand when you are 30". And this guy he wasnt intelligent at all. His IQ was definitely below average. But he was right about that. So I go on with boxing right, getting better, getting in better shape, and there is this tournament I wanted to win. Thats what I had my sights on. And then I won the tournament. And then after that I experienced the same as you did. You reach that goal that you wanted to reach and then afterwards its like and what now? Well now its time to grow. Basically you crossed the river and now you are in new lands. And what are you going to do there? Its not mapped out. So that is the challenge. For me I decided to go do other things. Go for new adventures. And I figured well I always trained so hard and so much. I wont have time to do that anymore. I may be able to train 3 times a week but thats not even close to what I do now so that way I will regress anyways so let me just stop training altogether. So what happens I dont train anymore I eat whatever I want and I get out of shape. Like most other people are out of shape. And this happened in my early twentys. So then when I hit 30 I am out of shape. And I decide to get back in shape. And its just much harder then I thought it was. Of course because I had not worked out properly for like 7 years. Bad eating habits. Some other bad habits. And the thing is. When you look at people in their 30's. The majority is out of shape and fat, old, and ugly. And why is that? 1) They got older 2) Accumulating affect of bad habits year after year getting to them 3) Bad eating habits 4) No exercise. Number 1 you cant change. 2,3,4 you can. And in your 30's those are the most important ones. In your 30's you are still not that old. But the thing is when they are young nobody appreciates their "eternal youth" and then they just have these bad habits and then once people hit 30 you really see a divider among people. The ones that take care of their health and workout. And they keep looking fresh and young. And the ones that dont and they become fat, sick, and ugly. So now you are 30 I see. But you are not that old and probably in good shape. But you are blind to how great that really is. You let that go you will become less self actualized because it has positive influences on your life that you dont recognize right now because you dont appreciate what you have and what karate gives you.

@Issa Campusano yeah did you have people ask you if you were ok when you quit Facebook? I had several people asking me that, they thought something must be wrong. And I am just thinking: No, I am doing really good actually. Lol