Bend_and_Sway

@Shiva exactly what I was thinking!

My family around the home listens, my body count is 3 on a very good day. Several years ago I shared his video on narcissism in a closed group on Facebook and I got a ton of disgruntled, argumentative people coming back with comments. I usually avoid conflict so I haven't posted anything since that debacle.

I like this idea also. Sobriety and reality seems very dull to those people who are using substances / activities addictively. I know I can relate a bit, it's unfortunate to admit.

Timothy Conway, a modern Sage of sorts, has a collection of writings about women Sages, healers etc. He has a vast amount of high quality writings about #nonduality and spirituality. You may really love to invest reading time here: www.enlightened-spirituality.org

Its Tuesday---- wow, I think I may be jonesing.

This guy is amazing -- In interviews he talks about using 5-MeO-DMT

A "crisis" might a little exaggeration but I am def having a daily battle with myself. . . I have been really itching to quit my job. I’m not aligned with what I am doing. The odd thing about it is, what I am doing is supposed to be the "right" thing. When I started in the field it was the late 1990’s. The State I am from was closing their facilities and moving people with disabilities into community apartment placements. I have been working in social services for 20 years. I have worked in group homes and supported living with developmentally disabled kids and adults. I went from working 1:1 with the people doing a variety of things from helping with shopping and changing diapers then to supervising services. I went into the management of the services at a pretty early age. By the time I was 20 I was already holding a lower level management position. At this point in my career I am doing case management. It is so stressful. There is such a staff shortage in the industry. The services the people are getting are pretty bad. I am feeling helpless to really help people. The whole system is under so much pressure that I can sense that it’s about to implode on itself. So the issue that is really bothering me -- I feel like these poor people might have been better off in the institution. The money that the government is spending on each of these cases is not reflected in the quality of care or life that the person is having. Since I handle the money side of the services and the oversight of everything I can see the problems but I have no idea of what to do. I honestly think my soul wants to walk away but how can that be?!?!

@Brent --- good explanation

It's a good place to be, in my opinion. I'm not confident to give labels, I'm not sure you should need one. You have moved into a new place to experience life from. Being able to listen, understand, care, even act but be overall unaffected sounds optimal.

To be honest, I wish people would ask me questions like that!! I rarely have any conversations that aren't about other people's lives or random chit chat. I think Pantheism is ok to identify with. I feel like God is everything but. . . you have that nothing to deal with also. I am perfectly content with admitting that I don't know "truth" but I truly enjoy the journey of trying to find it.

The lusting and unknown, have made those feelings. Those feelings are things you created with the fantasy. No one is ever the perfect specimen we create when it is all an unknown. Those feelings of loss you are having are common, I think, because you didn't get an opportunity to see it through. Place your focus somewhere else. Respect the present time. That's the only advice I have. Good luck.

How long were you with her?

Watching your language when talking to yourself and others is a great habit to have. Too often we say shit out of routine or ease instead of just saying the truth. Im trying to say my truth when when I cannot elaborate. I have a hard time explaining things or saying fully what's on my mind so in have been making efforts to make a brief but true feeling or thought and then just leave it be.

Tickled scalp is a new one but definitely a better sense of taste and smell and an appreciation for the taste and smell.