Zane

It's been 2 years since 2017 and i'm still making AWESOME progress with my commonplace book. I've made it a deeply ingrained habit to write down realizations, insights, inspiration, and happy moments.

It's been two years since i've graduated college and my career has been one hell of an adventure and truly a vision quest of self-discovery. My career started with a burst of motivation when i initially planned on moving to Las Vegas to become an English teacher. I got the offer a few weeks later after graduating college so it was perfect timing. However, i flunked the Math PRAXIS twice, and had to scrap my plans. Then, it took me three months during the summer to get a Reading Tutor job in Minneapolis. I worked at the job for only a couple months and it fell through. My third job hunt was the longest!! It took 9 months of an endless cycle of interviews and rejections. It was emotionally challenging but i buckled down. Eventually, i finally earned an offer with my current job!! I've been there for close to a year and it's one of the BEST work experiences i've had. The company was deeply aligned with my values of creativity, imagination, and creating enriching guest experiences, and i had strong and solid work relationships. 7 months into the job, i won Employee of the Month for my stellar performance and focus on going the extra mile and treating it as a landmark. Now, things are about to get MUCH BETTER!!! Last Spring, i came across a company that made me shout "EUREKA!!! I MUST APPLY!!" It embodied EVERYTHING I value and love and the job embodied all my skills, personality, and passion. However, i procrastinated, and then when i finally did apply, it was filled up!! I regretted the decision but i knew that in several months, the job would re-open. I would have my revenge and not fail!! I spent months persistently emailing the owner to schedule a meeting and i finally made a connection, through a networking app, who worked at the company and knew the owner.. In January, when the job was posted on the Arts/Theater job board, I instantly applied, and got an interview offer a week later. Before the interview, i felt a rush of emotions. I felt "I NEED TO MAKE THIS MY GREATEST INTERVIEW!!!!!! IT'S MY DREAM JOB!!!!!!!!!!!" I focused on dazzling the owner/interviewer with my energy and passion and it instantly got his attention and he hired me on the spot. Now it's 2 weeks until Orientation and i focused on taking advance action to create future opportunities. I saw an urgent email about more opportunities to make money including summer birthday parties and artist residences and i instantly jumped on board and a couple days later, i got my first birthday gig booked. To make matters better, Orientation is the next day. I'll be making $203 in a single weekend from the party and orientation. Pursuing my dream job and taking advantage of opportunity to expand it from part-time to full-time is one of my proudest life decisions. I'm proud that i'm focused on aligning career with passion so early on in my life. I'm proud that i followed my instincts and pounced on the opportunity before waiting too long. I'm proud that i jumped on the side gigs ASAP and was open to the idea of working full-time. I truly treated this opportunity like it was one of those rare gems that i must do. I felt that do or die killer instinct and i acted on it. The rewards could be vast!! This could be my career!! It's a peak experience!! The moment i realized my dreams and felt "I must do it!!" I'm turning my dream into reality and embodying my true purpose.

I've been at my current job for a total of 8 months now and I've hit a true breakthrough. Yesterday, my HR manager was giving orientation to new employees, and she casually told the new employees "this is Zane, employee of the month!!" What makes this so amazing is realizing how far i've come within 8 months. I started my career with this deep confusion, and scrapping plans only to start from scratch. However, I've been getting closer to my true successes. I thrive in my current job because of my energized passion and optimism I bring to every shift. I have a strong reputation for the passion I bring to work! However, i feel that being Employee of the Month is the first in a long chain of breakthroughs to success.

Job Hunt Advice I've been working at my job for 7 months. It feels like time at a new job can flow by. I've exceeded expectations in Customer Service and being Mission-focused in my review. I keep making progress by getting rave reviews for my passion from customers and my managers because I've dedicated myself to mastering the job. However, finding the job, was one of my biggest life challenges that I overcame. To those struggling on the job hunt and feeling defeated, I have extensive advice to help you skyrocket your results. I'm mastering the job hunt! 1. Focus on doing deep research of the niches you want to excel in. The sheer variety of job niches is STAGGERING!! There are ridiculously AWESOME jobs that really exist. A perfect example is the summer camp market. There's a whole niche for using LEGOs as a teaching tool for STEM. There's a niche for swords and sorcery RPG camps. There's a niche for adventure camps. When on the hunt, you need to delve deep into research to choose the best niche for you. I stumble across an AWESOME job like a swords and sorcery camp Art and Play Instructor, a Game Show Host, and sure enough, another opportunity comes up. That leads to feeling overwhelmed by options. I focus on fusing niches together and ask "how can I make it into a sustainable career?" How can I do a Candy Store Ambassador, Art and Play Instructor, Creative Writing gig, and Game Show Host? I focus on finding a practical way to fuse the jobs together. One of the most frustrating feelings is the inner doubt of "the dream job is stupid and there's nothing out there! What will i do with my career?" The first step is to focus on brainstorming career ideas and hit niche job boards (nonprofit job boards/arts job boards/outdoor adventures/summer camps) and go exploring. Also connect with people in those industries through LinkedIn. 2. Be patient, flexible, and think big picture and reframe rejection. The truth is that the job hunt can be a long process. Sometimes, you submit a resume but you don't get a response or a rejection. Rejection can hurt but one of the pitfalls is that if you dwell on it too long, it puts you in a vicious cycle of self-doubt where you feel “I’ll never get a job. There’s no job out there for me! I’m a failure!” I remember getting dozens of rejections and feeling discouraged. However, one rejection is a step closer to an offer. The best strategy when you get a rejection or many is to refuse to despair. Despair will limit your progress and prevent that AMAZING breakthrough. I remember that first moment of getting my first offer on the spot and feeling that ECSTATIC rush. Despite the long journey, it's so amazing when you finally win. It feels profound!! Like i've accomplished something!! However, despite the 7 months of my current job, i don't want to rest on my laurels. I want to focus on rocking the job to earn an AWESOME review and the growth opportunities. I want to keep smashing expectations and explore those AWESOME jobs.

WOW.................TODAY WAS AMAZING!!!!!! I woke up EARLY THIS MORNING for no particular reason at 3:30 am and I felt this energy.....this feeling of inspiration light me up!! I started writing and I felt my mind truly wake up. Throughout the day, I felt this strong impulse to write and pour out my thoughts on paper. I felt this inspiration and it felt effortless!! It was as though the words were just flowing out like a wellspring without me thinking or being self-critical. It felt empowering and the more AMAZING thing is that flow has impacted me before and has created the most AWESOME experiences of my life. Flow has been my guide and co-creator

@universe I'm currently not working as a Children's Entertainer but I'm fascinated by the industry. The enrichment program is about LEGOs and STEM and it doesn't require engineering skills. I'm just fascinated by the opportunity to teach a class like that. I did interview with several Escape Rooms. I think that a weekend Children's Entertainer job and Trivia Host job are lined up for me.

I'm 24 and I've been deeply focused lately on stoking passion for the possibilities of creating my own career from scratch. I moved to Minneapolis last September to take a new job but the job fell apart and I forced to move on to new options. It took me 9 months of struggling to find projects through temp agencies and enduring dozens of interviews but facing constant rejection. However, by June 2018, I had a breakthrough. I interviewed for a job at the Crayola Experience and I dazzled the interviewer with my burst of passion and energy for creativity that she hired me on the spot. It was shocking!!! In that moment, I beat the odds and found a job that resonated me. I've been working at Crayola for close to 4 months now and I'm loving it. I love how the shift flows by because of how excited I get at the start. However, I see it as the step forward to something much bigger and more ambitious. I took major steps to look for a second gig that pays better. I was recently hired by an afterschool enrichment program to teach one class focused around building structures. I'm taking more action by diversifying my jobs so I can monetize my passions. I will focus on teaching the one class and add more classes over time, I will work with Crayola a couple times per week, I will work as a Children's Entertainer on Saturday because it's great for money and it aligns with my passion for entertaining, and I will be a Trivia Host in the evenings. The GREAT thing about the enrichment program, the Children's Entertainer gig, and the Trivia Host is that it's a golden balance of pursuing my passion and getting paid AWESOMELY for it. My new career model is to experiment with a wide variety of jobs and have a flexible schedule and treating my career like an investment portfolio with diverse assets and my goal is long-term career growth and earning potential.

I can empathize with the fear to start!! It's usually the first step when I'm dedicated to an endeavor. I usually start out feeling deeply uncertain and I procrastinate by wasting time online, and food, and detaching myself more from my passions. However, more recently, I start focusing on taking a day to pause and to energize myself by taking a walk on a sunny day, going to a yoga class, or going to a comedy show to release the tension. I focus on writing out the thoughts to think concretely about what's happening! Writing out a framework of a plan gives me drive to act. It really is a series of smaller actions!

For inner grounding, I use the theater, listening to music, pursuing my passion for creative writing, being with my friends, and restortative yoga and meditation to stay grounded. It reminds me that art is so powerful and beautiful that it deeply immerses you in the majesty and magic of the moment. Creative writing deeply immerses me in a childlike mind of imagination and it's like playtime with ideas. Restortative yoga and meditation and nature walks slow down time and focuses on savoring the moment. I've endured a long job hunt and now I'm pursuing my authentic career path and I'm on fire and feeling deeply excited.

I've been on the job hunt for several months and it starts out as feeling chaotic and uncertain. I've realized that the job hunt goes through major unexpected shifts. There's always a possibility for rejection, being released from positions, and discovering new horizons and trails to blaze. However, I've been learning how to deal with all these situations, and learn from them. Initial rejection feels painful but I'm learning to detach from the pain and to persist. My attitude is "the more interviews I have, the more likely I beat the odds!" However, rejection can reach a point where it's overwhelming, and I focus on decompressing by taking a day off to spend strategizing, doing meditation or restorative yoga, or taking walks. I'm focusing on approaching the job hunt mindfully. After hearing Leo talk about the victim mindset, it made me realize "don't waste your twenties and feel powerless! I have the power to master job hunting skills and discover my authentic job!!" I've been more contemplative about self-actualization, life purpose, and spirituality and focusing on applying the job hunt from a place of authenticity. As a result, it resulted in several interviews in a single month.

I've been on a hot streak regarding synchronities this May. In just a single month, I shifted my outlook on the job hunt, and decided to take a gamble and pursue my passion seriously. It's resulted in AMAZING synchronities! In just, two weeks, I had 8 interviews. I've had mind blowing surreal experiences that felt like a direct translation of my abstract imagination. The burlesque, Rocky Horror, and my new friends strongly mirror my deepest passions!! It's......shocking!!!!! I felt overwhelmed by this madness and a total loss from inhibitions and cackled manically with overjoyed laughter. However, nobody was judging me, because I was in a burlesque setting, and they LOVED my energy!!!! I had coffee with a Goblin King cosplayer and it felt............crazy!!!! He invited me to an Ecstatic Dance event and it felt like a channeling of that manic energy into spontaneous dancing. These experiences are confounding and led me to ask "why does this keep happening? What is the process of it?" I decided to start pursuing new spiritual outlets like a motivational conversation group, Shamanic Drumming, and a deep breathing workshop focused on conveying love through deep eye gazing. There could be a variety of answers but these experiences feel strongly Shamanic or a lucid dream where it feels so overwhelmingly surreal and dreamlike and so crazy that I burst into laughter every time I tell these stories.

Letting Go Of Text Anxiety I need to work on my patience! I notice that among one of my friends I obsess and worry about the length of time they take to respond to texts. I was really excited about a Skype chat we planned yesterday but it fell through yesterday and my friend told me that yesterday wasn't a good time to Skype but was vague with the reason why and it made me feel anxious. I didn't want the anxiety to plague me for the rest of the night so I talked to one of my friends who was in the neighborhood about the feelings and she told me to "let go of what I can't control and to focus on your own life." Today, I start letting go of this text anxiety. I will focus on starting anew every day and focus on cleansing myself of anxiety. The text was nothing personal and it's pointless to worry about the wording in one text. Plans can fall through and it's deeply frustrating but there's no point in whipping myself into panic over it. Today, I will focus on walking outside to cleanse my mind, I will focus on my coffee, I will focus on the next steps in my job hunt, I will focus on reading books. I will put my phone on Airplane Mode so I can detach myself from worrying about texts.

I've created a commonplace book in late 2014 and I've been consistent with it from late 2014 to 2017 by tracking happy moments. It helped me become more mindful of all the awesome things and happy moments in life. It opened up the possibilities for new experiences and new passions! Actualized.org helped transform self-actualization from just a concept in my mind to a concrete, emotional experience. A commonplace book grounded me in a deep sense of purpose, internal freedom and power, and a deep visionary mindset focused on seeking opportune moments. The greatest moments in my life feel spontaneous and self-created and are unexpected. However, i have a strong gut feeling that it will happen!

@Scarecrow I have a fascination with introverts!!!! Honestly, introverts fascinate me because of their rich inner lives and how they deeply listen to you. I love talking to introverts about deep Existential topics and creativity and their dreams and imagination. However, as an ENFP, I will admit that i can bond deeply to an introvert and can be unintentionally smothering to them with my texting. I misinterpret their downtime and unwinding as "ghosting." However, i love telling introverts, particularly highly creative introverts, about my deepest passions because my goal is to stoke that passion in them. Introverts are the most AWESOME friends, especially for a bubbly extrovert because of their coolness and authenticity.

Sexual Identity and BDSM I'm feeling an inner sexual awakening! Throughout my adolescence and young adult years, I've always been uncertain of my sexual identity. I noticed how I was attracted to personality and appearance. My personality type that I admire is a deep sense of inner purpose and indviduality. I've always had a fetish for hair dye and a style inspired by Indie/Punk where the main focus was self-expression. I've always been attracted to androgynous women who defy traditional femininity yet i've always had a deep fetish for alabaster skin and dark hair and lacey corsets and satine hair bows/ribbons, ponytails, and pigtails. I've always loved girls with a strong quirkiness to them but it wasn't a trying too hard to be quirky but a natural quirkiness that felt genuine. A great character who embodies my fetishes for androgyny and quirkiness is Coraline. In the movie, the character is 11, but her age isn't my main reason. I love Coraline for her sarcasm, sassiness, and for her tomboyish/feminine tendencies like her punkish/quirky style, her sarcasm and smirk, her bravery and defiance, and her strong will. I get the feeling that she's the kind of girl who refuses to wear dresses and going through a gender identity crisis. I always had a deep fetish for Harley Quinn because of her bubbly passion and giddy joy and her shameless authenticity. Harley is mad but she owns who she is and is totally shameless about that. Coraline and Harley reveal the qualities of attractiveness and they reflect in people i meet. I notice that I'm at my most authentic around the artsy introvert (the hipster, Goth, Punk) who is doodling in their notebook and talking aloud to themselves or deeply relaxed in a leather chair. Around the artsy introvert, i can reveal my deepest secrets, inner fetishes, and passions with total confidence and that vulnerability bonds me to them easily. Around the bubbly and grandiose extrovert, I absorb their passion and completely open up to them. Regarding the bubbly and grandiose extrovert and serene artsy introvert, this could be major signs that I'm realizing and acting on my own fetishes and embracing them with pride. My goal is to use BDSM as a path to explore my fetishes deeper and to take freedom over my inner life and pursue these fantasies deeper. Recently, i've been reading more about BDSM and I can't deny it but I have a growing curiosity with it. Earlier in the summer, I read a book called "Sex and Shakespeare" which was a memoir about a young woman coming to terms with her masochism and using Shakespeare characters to illustrate her experiences. What made the book so intriguing was her honesty about her internal shame for her spanking fetish and meeting people who shared her passions for both Shakespeare and spanking. I emailed the author to explain how I related to her story because we both shared the struggle of inner shame for a quality in us that we saw as "deviant." For me, it was my Aspergers Syndrome and my crushes on fictional characters. The book peaked my curiosity about BDSM and as I delved deeper, the more it fascinated me. One element i've realized about countercultures, particularly, the BDSM/Kink/Fetish community, Goth culture, Drag Culture, and Burlesque is that they're focused on finding beauty, freedom, and self-empowerment in the taboo. BDSM focuses on acting as a character and losing yourself to the experience. "Headspace" refers specifically to the submissive surrendering to the pain and taking deep pleasure in it. To go even deeper, a major element of BDSM that intrigues me is the "headspace" concept and surrendering to the experience. "Headspace" deeply affects me when i'm watching a play or movie that i love and i deeply become one with the film or the play that i'm overwhelmed with a passion and the passion comes out raw and unfiltered. I'm also fascinated by the roleplaying element and creating a fantasy for myself and my domme, switch, or bottom. I want to focus on creating an environment and social outlet of self-expression and living inner fantasy. Learning about BDSM from this perspective is making me consider the possibility of actively experimenting in the BDSM/Fetish/Kink community to learn deeply about it, to report on it and to use it as both a social and creative outlet and to get to know Kinksters on a deeper level and learn "why do you love BDSM?" I've started my research by exploring sex stores and reading books on the subject and now my goal is to start branching into the field by attending some munches or fetish parties.