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@Dizzy Good I'm glad that it means I'm getting somewhere with these practises. It's always followed by dreams where I feel extremely intense sensations as well. No visuals, just crazy fear that wakes me up. I can allow it without too much resistance, but they are terrifying to say the least ! Never known anything like it in my life. Also a few sleep paralysis experiences. I get these all the time, but there's something different about them after energy work. More electrical sensations. I love these experiences and hate them at the same time lol

So I just did a subconscious release and for the second time I experienced extreme sensations and a cold breeze on my hands. This time there were many more waves of sensations and they were more intense. I also felt like I was on a roller coaster at times like I used to when I was younger in my sleep. Can anyone shed light on what this experience was? I would describe the sensations as intense fear and it was very exciting to be getting something!

@sgn Definitely clones.

An enlightened society. All of civilisation modified for all or most living species to adapt to and not just one (us).

Me: I can't process what people have to say because I'm trying to hard to do just that I can't look people in the eye anymore without getting paranoid and thinking I am making them feel awkward (like I am spreading negativity) I can't shake feelings of inferiority and feeling like I am wrong as a person If someone looks away from me in the street, I feel rejected My head tightens and blanks out Burning anxiety fills my stomach and head, and my eyes get sore. This causes more paranoia as my pain is now visible I feel as though I must always say the perfect thing and this is all I can think about when the other person is talking which results in me not having anything to say. I have only slept with one person and she was a prostitute. I'm 24. I'm so ashamed of this. I keep getting drunk on a saturday night then staying up all night snorting cocaine and then feeling guilty about it the next day I am extremely self conscious in social situations about the way I look. Even though I like how I look in the mirror and in most photos (WTF?) I am insecure about being insecure I am worried about my mind and how much it is riddled with shame I am worried about how much I worry! I feel like I'll never be able to get a girlfriend I don't know what I want The list is endless. But I have high hopes for myself. Ambition and motivation. I have some good habits (eating, exercise, meditation etc.). The above are just how I feel a lot of the time. They are having a real effect on my life. My self-esteem is terrible. All I want to do is realise the truth. Realise Happiness. But social conditioning has me in prisoned. I've tried books. I lose motivation especially when the exercises come. Things I've learned in self-help are just more things to think about. More things to cloud my mind, more things to cause me anxiety when I'm interacting with people from me trying to use it to make me feel better. My mind won't stop doing things. I just want to let go.

I like this. As I'm becoming more and more aware of my thoughts I'm finding it much easier to do things like this. @S33K3R This metaphor you send me is great. I'll look forward to hearing more from you on the forum. @Preetom The book and technique recommendations are much appreciated and it's great to be held accountable for my journey.

Last night, I came up with a list of things I fear about change. They were all around how it would make others feel or think. I feel like my success will make others feel shitty about their lives. I think my biggest problem is I have too much empathy. I hate the idea of people being in situations I have been in. I can't stand seeing it happen to others. How can I realise that healing myself and being happy can only benefit others ?

@Visitor @S33K3R Thanks for your comments

I'm starting to see that I'm just watching videos for the sake of making me feel better when I feel like shit. I meditate, exercise, eat well, write music but I don't take any real action on stuff I learn. What is taking action? I regularly write down insights that I get from meditation about myself (root causes to my pain, behaviour patterns). Is this taking action? I need examples on what taking action actually is. So far I just think about what I've learnt. How do I take action and avoid being a self-help junkie?

I'm sure these are already pretty clear. But what stuff should I remove from my diet altogether?

Yeah I love it ! Can happily have the smoothie and the soup every day.

@Shin I can relate to this so much. It's scary

@mathieu It sounds like you do have points that make you feel very good about yourself I have coped over the years by simply putting myself in social situations. I moved away from my small town into a city. Really suffered at first but this has improved me a lot, but no where near as much as I'd like. I still feel ashamed and embarrassed in a lot of my interactions. What helps a lot of the time is thinking of myself as being attractive and at the top of my game in all areas. Like, abundance. Weird, but it works sometimes. Not all of the time. Mindfulness has helped a lot as well. I have a hell of a lot of inner conflict though. Up and down a lot. Motivated to de-motivated. Confident(ish) to anxious and ashamed. Sometimes days pass with overall positivity, others with negativity. Have a lot of wounds to heal. Had some real embarrassing experiences in my teens. Not that bad but I was extremely sensitive and they hit me hard. Now, I just focus on Meditation, Exercise, Clean food (mostly), and music production. Just started paying a lot of attention to my emotions as well.

I am in the same boat. Also 23 and people often tell me I look really young. You mentioned about a fear of embarrassment being a root cause as well. Again, this is something I can really relate to. It's caused me a lot of suffering over the years and has shot my confidence and self esteem. I have too been discriminated against because of the way I look especially when I started college after school. I assume you now work as an engineer? Workshops and things like are renowned for poking fun at people as you probably already know. Just gotta take it on the chin and focus on doing a good job. I'm no expert in this field of personal development, but I'd recommend working on self acceptance and dealing with emotions.

I smoked a quite a lot of cannabis when I was 14/15. Like 3-7 bongs on a daily basis for 2 years. More or less. Cut back a lot at 17/18. Smoking very little from then onwards. Now 23. Have I caused irreversible effects ? Haven't got any major problems with memory, retaining information or anything else. But I'm worried about my mental health in the long term. Also, I worry that I've damaged parts that will prevent me reaching my full potential. The main concern is that my mind was still developing and I feel that it might not have grown like it should. Any ideas ?

Thanks to all who have put their ideas across on this thread. This has seen the most frustrating weight lifted off my shoulders. Really guys, I appreciate you all. Peace x

@Leo Gura I don't really know the best way to go about the journey towards self-actualization. I have all these notes, but no real plan to motivate me and I just feel unorganised. What's your advice? After watching your video on strategy I feel as though this is my best bet: 1. Watch videos from start to finish (starting with the foundational ones) and take notes 2. Re-read and study notes. Repeat 3. Watch again 4. Contemplate principles deeply 5. Think about how I can apply these principles How does that sound?

@Consept @Natura Sonoris Thanks for the replies. I was very brief. This is purely my strategy for studying useful mental processes. I also spend all my free days working on music production and in the evening on a work day. I work through exercises in self-help books and the ones Leo often gives at the end of his videos. I'm also doing a program that has helped thousands of music producers make music their life. This involves tons of practical things to do and implement into my work. Including extremely helpful tips on how the music industry works. Would you say that this is enough?

This would be alongside daily meditation, self-inquiry and working on my career.

These are the small actions I am focusing on to achieve the first step of fully accepting myself. The period of months is how long I hope to be done with or underway with each step. 1. Watch emotional mastery videos - 3 to 4 months -At least one a week -Take the action in baby steps 2. Get therapy - In 1 month 3. Be more mindful - In 2 months -Bring my meditation practise to mind throughout the day -Study mindfulness 4. Accept the resistance - 2 to 3 months -Conduct emotions -Focus on accepting/noticing the thoughts that say 'should/shouldn't', 'this is wrong', 'this is bad' etc......

@dboyle Dude, I feel your pain. I came across this thread a while back but decided not to post anything then. I was 21, a virgin just like you, and guess what ? I lost it to a prostitute. It didn't make me feel better, in fact......for a week or so after I had the worst anxiety of my life. I was a bit drunk and I couldn't finish in time which made me think I had something very wrong with me. Started researching the problem which only made it worse. My advice, if you haven't done it already. Don't do it. Simple as. I'm no better for it. Possibly worse I don't know, but if I was in your shoes I'd listen to the people on here who are against the idea and give it a miss. Trust me.

I have recently started to practise letting my strongest negative emotions pass through without resistance. It seems to be going reasonably well, but my most feared emotions seem to be really hitting me hard since I've been doing this. It could be the meditation as I've had the best sessions the past couple of days and these tend to be the ones that cause these flaws to bubble to the surface. Anyway, being a super-conductor is at the forefront of my mind since watching the video on dealing with strong emotions so I hope this will pass, but can I have others' opinions on this because I feel rather isolated about the situation to be honest. Is it normal to feel the hurt more for a bit after letting go of resistance? Peace

So basically yesterday I missed a days meditation and affirmations. I'm not gonna beat myself up about it because it's like the first time in 2-3 months and this will just drag me down and hold me back. Will this really have much of an effect on my progress?

@Chives99 I'm in York Where are you ?

@mikeyy Yeah man it seemed like a good idea at the time lol I think it was the way I thought about myself when I was high. More me messing my own head up and I've started to realise that of recent. Oh well life goes on ! Going by what people on here have said and what I now know about the mind and consciousness, weed won't have affected the chance of reaching max potential so I wouldn't worry. We can and will both get to where we all want to be. Just gotta have the right habits and stay consistent day in and day out. I do meditate. It's started to become one of my top priorities along with one of my favourite things. I do it as soon as I wake up. What are you doing at present in terms of actualisation, life purpose etc. ?