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Everything posted by Random User
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Is there anyone on here that has stopped drinking altogether? I drink heavily once a week. I did last night after telling myself I'd kick the habit. Couldn't resist. My friends all drink heavy on a weekend and I can't say no! I want to be healthy, and productive every day and this is getting in the way! I need some advice from some good people.
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Anyone had any experience with this guy ? Seen a few different reviews on him could do with some more. Thanks
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@DocHoliday I wanna do a bootcamp and he's the only one who does the UK. @DaveB Yeah I wanna get the ball rolling. I know a bootcamp is just a kick up the arse and then gotta keep consistently going out and shit. I'm just done with getting sick over girls man. I just get cold feet and then regret everything afterwards. It's making me into a really negative person. So how much experience do you have in the field?
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I used to get it a lot! Not so much anymore. Nothing to worry about, it's just your mind being awake whilst your body is still asleep.
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This sounds right. Hats off bro. Fuck the head, the heart is way more reliable.
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Ok, so I like this girl and she likes me. We get along awesome and she's gorgeous. She's into personal development like me and we have great talks. I really connect with her on a heart level. I want to get closer to her than kissing but I'm pretty inexperienced in that department. I've only had sex twice. Once was a few years back and then again the other night and both times I was a bit drunk. I sort of get the impression she's had her fair share of sexual partners. I'm not the only guy she's seeing now and that's cool with me. But I'm worried that I'm not gonna be great at it and she's gonna lose feelings for me. Can anyone give me some advice on this? Like if I should be honest with her or if I should just go for it and try my best lol I'm really into her and I think we can both benefit from each others company. Girls don't usually show so much interest in me but she does. She's really understanding of my issues with mental health and I feel really comfortable around her, but when I was laid in bed with her a while back (before I had sex the second time) I just didn't take the plunge when I could have. I've seen and kissed her since then and she told me she really likes me but she's not gonna wait around is she.
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@Shin Yeah they've been weekly or near enough since starting NoFap 3-4 months ago. Well I'll admit I've masturbated without porn twice since then. I do meditate most days but it certainly isn't every day. Maybe miss 50 days a year and really fallen off the wagon over christmas missing a lot of days. But I plan to keep up the consistency from now on. I don't know if I'm conscious to be honest I really can't tell. I guess I notice opportunities to be assertive, show integrity, and when I'm being negative a lot more than I used to. I could probably work on stopping myself from having wet dreams as these dreams are pretty much always lucid. I've always been able to have lucid dreams.
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@Shin Throughout my teens at LEAST once a day. Started to calm down towards 19 I think. I'm 24 now and 2-3 years prior to giving up it was anywhere from once a day to 3-4 times a week. Last year prob 2-3 times a week TOPS. More like once a week. And it wasn't always to porn.
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I do NoFap but still jizz my pants in my sleep at least once a week. Even twice in one night on occasion. Can't seem to shake it. Fuck it. Still feeling great for not playing with myself to pixels.
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@blazed Works for me @Shin Those social benefits though. Magical
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I'm not by any means saying that psychedelics won't work because I've never taken them for personal development. But from MY experience with social anxiety is that the best thing to do is to expose yourself to social situations more. Try and find some opportunities to go outside of your comfort zone. I volunteer at a Buddhist retreat which means that I meet new people on a weekly basis from all over the world. I also offer to help out my friend with promotion jobs for his club events like selling tickets on the street etc. Find the opportunities, I'm sure there are plenty with you being at college. Put yourself in situations a few times a week.
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@Okaythen @jjer94 Cheers guys I didn't look at it like that before. I'm always feeling sorry for myself to try and get someone to come and save me it's so clear now! No wonder I just get worse and worse.
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@Hardkill I'm in the same boat as you. Aged 24. But I'm getting over it by doing stuff like exercise, eating well, performing music, meditating, reading, and having fun with my friends and family. Fuck how easy other people get laid. They're not you. Just because they seem like they've got that part of life sorted doesn't mean they don't suffer as a result of other stuff. Individual humans are far too complex to compare. Work on yourself by following advice from good sources who know what they're talking about.
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@abgespaced Having the guts to be sexual. Missed an opportunity at the weekend with a girl I like (an obvious opportunity) and now I'm sat here. Beating myself up about it. Missing the girl. And worrying that I've blown it.
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My head is filled with shit that I don't need. How do I ignore it when it's constantly telling me that I'm inferior, that I don't belong, that I'm intruding, that I'm ugly, that I'm a loser, a disappointment and that no one wants to be around me. When I feel good, shit is good. I connect and enjoy conversations with people. But as soon as the negative thoughts creep in, everything is shit. People are responding to me differently, negatively, so I try so hard to feel good (I have ways of doing this) and resist feeling anxious, paranoid, self-conscious and so it's obvious what's gonna happen. I've reinforced this over and over so I'm terrified of any negative vibes coming from me. I love talking to people and making new friends but my critical self is too strong and it makes me avoid shit I want to do. My interactions have gotten much better in the past year or so but I still feel pretty much the same. How do I stop believing all this stuff ? I can't be intimate with people and it's driving me nuts.
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@WhiteCongrats You're not alone dude. I think exposure is the way. Try and talk more and more than you usually would in social situations. It's awkward sometimes, but knowing that it's helping and that it's pushing my comfort zone stops me from getting myself in a mess. Like I have done so many times in the past. Just remember that everyone gets social anxiety to some degree and everyone is more focused on themselves. In the past you've been shamed by people because they're carrying around their own toxic shame. Also, if you haven't done already, check out The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem
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Any success stories or life-changes from this book? I've finally got going with it and I'm curious to hear how many of you have benefited from it?
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@cena655 To create your ideal vision I recommend the 'Perfect Average Day' exercise. I did it in a program I started a while back and update it regularly. Gets you clear on what you want. It's basically the biggest diary entry you'll ever right, but for a day 5-10 years from now. Your ideal day
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Hi guys, Right OK. I've been getting insomnia weekly recently, sometimes every few days. Then I get a good run thinking I'm all good, then it starts again. Currently had it for the past 3 nights. Luckily at the moment I am not working, but I want to get to bed at a good time and rise early. I am starting volunteer work next week and it will mean I must be up at the crack of dawn to do my daily routine before hand. What happens is, every time I start to dose off, as in every time I get into that hypnagogic state where you start to get random thoughts, I become aware of it and my mind pulls me out. Most of the time it's with anxiety, sometimes I'm jolted awake. Very uncomfortable, frustrating and just down right annoying. I get such a victim mindset on you wouldn't believe. Literally just want to cry in my mothers arms. I'm anxious about going to bed. When I get into bed I can just feel my heart beating hard and the slightest sound is really intense. As are any slight twitches or movements I make. FYI: I stop using electronics at least an hour before (iphone, laptop, TV) Read before Meditate for 15-20mins before Have tried 5 HTP Don't drink an hour and a half before No caffeine No alcohol No medication Regular exercise for as long as I can remember (jogging, walking, H.I.I.T.) I tried surrendering to the emotions and it worked! But temporarily. Now they're just relentless when I try this. Can anyone relate to what I'm going through here?
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@SFRL Simple thanks I'll give it a go!
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@Santiago I think the low self-esteem/extreme self consciousness/paranoia/social anxiety all started when I was about 16. I hung around with people who liked to tease and make fun. From this age up until the age of 18, I was high like pretty much all of the time. So thoughts were intensified and I experienced a lot of embarrassment and ridicule. I also felt like I was letting myself and my family down smoking the cannabis and dabbling in other substances. Not to mention being a virgin and thinking about it constantly. Writing this I am feeling shit coming up. I am very pessimistic because of it all. With people like me and you, we need to eliminate worry and stop caring what others think. I feel that if I reduce these two things enough my confidence will soar. I think the same will happen to you. Self-acceptance is key here. I hope this helps man. As for the visual problems I haven't noticed any issues here.
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I can totally relate. I often feel like my state is affecting the other person. I'm really paranoid about it. It's gotten to the point where I must feel good around people or all I see from them is a negative response. When I feel good it's fine, but when I've got the slightest bit of anxiety, I'm worried that they can sense it and it's making them feel shit as well. It's also happened to me 100s of times, therefore reinforced and now it's a belief. I also have a thing where if I'm talking to more than one person, all I can focus on is the people I'm not looking at looking at me (in my peripheral vision), and it totally throws me off the conversation and makes me very uncomfortable. You are not alone. We just care what others think too much. If you can reduce that, you'll be much more at ease. I repeat....You are not alone.
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Just quit my job as a delivery driver at Asda. Now focusing on music composition, production and DJing. I also volunteer at a local Buddhist meditation centre.
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Has anyone on here overcome the above with energy work ?
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Random User replied to Random User's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@S33K3R I see. Thanks