jasonjp1016

@WelcometoReality I wouldn't say one is more true than the other it's just that I feel like a lack of belief could be more or less considered atheism to some extent. It seems to have a negative connotation in spiritual circles.

@Steph1988 Just take it one step at a time until you're comfortable moving forward.

For all you guys out there who are having trouble meeting women I hope my story will inspire you to get out there and get this part of your life handled. Everyone who has worked on this area of life I’m sure could tell you what you need to do, but I’m going to explain my story and what has worked for me. So a quick story about my background. I never had a girlfriend in high school or college. I wanted one and I wanted to have sex, but I always wanted particular girls and never settled when I should have for the experience. I messed up a few nice opportunities that I did have. I got out of college and figured things would eventually happen for me and they never really did. I was too scared to approach girls unless I was drunk and the girls that friends set me up with never went beyond the first date. It was so embarrassing when you’re at work and people ask about your personal life and really don’t have anything to tell. I also tried online dating, but I lived in a small town and I was outnumbered 4 to1 man to woman ratio. Needless to say I was in dating hell. The good thing was in all of this I did manage to never really give up hope. I read The Game by Neil Strauss, I bought ebooks online, and I was always trying to figure out how I could fix my shyness around women. The real problem at this point was I wasn’t taking real action. I was just theorizing in my mind and if I did get a date it still went bad. So my first step in really starting the process of getting this handled happened when I came back from Las Vegas with some friends at the age of 30. They tried to hook me up with this girl and I basically self sabotaged the whole thing. I looked online after the event and came across a self coaching course that entered me into the world of personal development. I discovered affirmations and visualizations. I did make some progress with my confidence, but it was still not enough to overcome the deep hole that had dug for myself. It wasn’t until I was 32 that I really hit rock bottom, I was miserable at my job and I was so tired of having no girlfriend and no sex. Everyday felt like groundhog day. It was the same shit over and over again. Again I was looking for the solution online and I ran across Leo when he was first startied actualized.org. His videos reinvigorated me to make sure I do affirmations everyday and visualizations everyday and to follow all his new and old videos. This is when things really started turning around for me. I did affirmations for hours sometimes. I made sure I went to all the social events that I was invited to and finally I was getting somewhere. I worked up the courage to do coaching with Leo about 5 months after I discovered Leo’s material. We did the coaching and things didn’t really go as I planned, I was hoping to have it all figured out after our sessions, but the only two things I got out of it were I need to move to a big city and get my dating life handled and also I have no clue what my life purpose really should be. After the coaching I was meditating everyday and doubled down on the personal development I was doing. I couldn’t wait to move and start this new chapter of my life. I wanted to move to Austin but I visited there and it didn’t feel like home and job prospects for my field were not what I wanted. I eventually applied to this company in Chicago and I was offered a job in Washington DC, which was kind of cool because it’s only 3 hours from where I was living and was easier transition. Once I got settled in I tried match.com and I got a good bit of interest in the beginning and a few dates. None of them went too bad and I even got some second dates, but I wasn’t getting the girls I was interested in. Finally I stepped in to world of pick-up. I posted on the Real Social Dynamics forum and met my first wing. I was really nervous about it but he seemed mostly normal. I remember that first night, it was so scary approaching girls but at the same time it felt great to be taking action. I met a lot of guys doing pick-up and learned some things and my game was improving, but I still didn’t feel super confident inside even after all the personal development work I was doing. The next big step for me was going to a Jeffy Hot Seat. This presentation finally put it all together for me. One of the main things I took from it was that you have to have real intent when you approach. I came out of that thing supercharged. I could have probably slept with 1 girl for sure that night and had other sets that were going in that direction. I felt out of everybody that I know that went, I got the most out of it or at least I had the best night. The following weekend I finally met her. I approached this girl on the street and did my routine and was making out with her in the first couple of minutes. We exchanged numbers and I was texting her that night to come to my place. She said she would but then stopped texting me after she agreed. At this point I thought it was over. But then she texted me the next day and we met up. When she came back to my place that night I tried really hard to have sex with her to no success. I ended up sleeping at her place that night. A few dates later we finally did have sex and I have to say when I dropped her off the next morning and I got home I should have been so excited but I actually felt empty inside. I tried to keep things casual at first so I could sleep with other women, but I eventually gave in and started dating her exclusively. This was the best thing I could have done because our relationship helped settle down the insecurity I had about not ever really being in a serious relationship. I eventually told her the truth and to my surprise she never seemed to distraught about it. It’s been almost a year now and I’m still with her. It’s helped to settle on my life purpose and my confidence with women is so much better. I feel like if I’m ever single again I’ll never have this problem again because she has made me realize how great of a guy I am. I feel like I could walk up to any girl I’m really interested in and have a really good chance. So that’s a little bit of my story. I hope you found it entertaining and maybe inspiring if you’re in the same situation I was in. I believe that the ability to attract women really comes from core confidence. The only way to build your confidence is to have real life experiences. And the challenge is to get those real life experiences to go the way you want. You can watch all the videos you want and do all the inner work you want but in my experience you need get out of your house and meet people and women.

I'm looking for wings in the Washington, D.C. area. Hit me up if anyone is interested.

I'm not really a big fan of noisy bars and clubs, but that's where the girls are at on the weekends and I want to get better approaching. My question is how do you guys keep up the energy and adjust if you're not really into dancing and really loud pop music? I almost feel drained after 20 minutes or so.

Nothing

@Chives99 I just moved so I don't know many people in the city right now. Plus I'm enjoying the challenge of going out and meeting new girls.

Are you in a small town or city?

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A lot information on enlightenment can seem depressing. I found this funny and entertaining gem last week.

For me the first step was changing how I talk to myself. So affirmations are a first step in the right direction. You may also want to read Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.

Washington, D.C.

I start every morning with 30 minutes of meditation.

Eddie Vedder - Rise It's from the movie Into the Wild. "Rise" Such is the way of the world You can never know Just where to put all your faith And how will it grow? Gonna rise up Burning black holes in dark memories Gonna rise up Turning mistakes into gold... Such is the passage of time Too fast to fold Suddenly swallowed by signs Lo and behold Gonna rise up Find my direction magnetically Gonna rise up Throw down my ace in the hole I would recommend Pearl Jam as one of the more quality bands out there. They are one of the few who are really about the art of music and not about fame or money. They are often dark at times, but also very deep.

Patriotism is there to keep you playing for the home team.

A few weeks ago I got out of bed and started doing my normal 30 minute meditation that I’ve been doing for over a year now. My mind was very quiet that morning. I started feeling like I was expanded and taking up more space. I also felt at one point like I was higher then my head and then at another point felt like I was lower in my body. It lasted for like 20 minutes. It was a pretty neat experience. The last 10 minutes my mind started getting chatty and it was over. I’m not quite sure if it was an enlightenment experience or not, but nevertheless it was cool. Has anyone else had an experience like this when your mind gets very quiet?