Shir

@Gesundheit Wanting to practice SAFE SEX within the confines of a sacred marriage is selfish? Okay. It's selfish to avoid having children out of wedlock? Okay. It's selfish to NOT want to get pregnant at this point in my life & want to avoid abortions? Okay. It's selfish to NOT pressure a man to stay with me if he DOES NOT want to save sex for marriage? Okay. I suggest you look up what being selfish tuly means. If I ever have children, I would want them to be INTENTIONAL and only within marriage. I don't care to have sex before marriage. So sad that knowing what you want in this day and age is considered selfish.

@DefinitelyNotARobot Hey there! Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post, I really appreciate it I found what you said highly interesting and mentally stimulating for sure. The first story you shared was mindblowing lol! Poor Lady, I hope this is what she truly wanted though...seems so. You remind me of this Uni friend I had, this orthodox religious Lady I was super friends with - she confided in me that although she really wanted to save sex for marriage, she gave into her then bf a mere 3 months or so into dating. I felt bad for her because after telling me this, I spent the whole entire lecture with her CRYING her heart next to me - he left her and she was very heartbroken over the fact and that she gave into him like that. Mind you, I think he's a real jerk. I told her she's a big girl and can do whatever she likes but that he isn't good for her but they ending coming back together, eventually got married and now have a son. Till this day, I still feel bad for her because she doesn't really look that happy. Mind you, she's broken ties with me (unfortunetly) but I still care for her and would never want to be her. I'm not saying what she did was wrong, I think it was wrong for her and to fall in love with an actual jerk is the worst. She could have done better. I HIGHLY respect what you said! When you mentioned you cannot respect a woman who does not have respect for herself. YES. YES. YES. I know this sounds weird but I am so sure about what I want haha (saving sex for marriage). I would like nothing more. The whole idea of dating with that respected means the world to me. I'm tired of feeling pressured for sex all the time. And, my only "alternate" reason for my said post (as far as I can tell) is also a fear of rejection; I am woman enough to admit that. I feel like with age, I've gained (hopefully) enough confidence to stand my ground and hopefully the other side realizes I am serious and know what I want haha. Being 28, it's something that took time because I thought I needed to be a people pleaser but today after a lot of Therapy, I realize I am worth having my bounderies respected and cared about - the same that I would do for a man if he was actually the one wanting to save sex for marriage.

@electroBeam THANK YOU.

@Roy You were uncharitable the moment you made an analogy between women and cars and literally called every other reasoning stupid. I don't take that shit lightly. Maybe you should start taking your own advice for once and not be uncharitable yourself? What a thought.

@Roy NO, you don't get to tell people "how to interpret things "properly" - take some damn responsibility for your shitty AND dumb, old fashioned analogies. I'm the last woman on earth that would ever listen to a man who thinks "I'm not taking things right" when he goes around spewing such and utter nonesense. I stand my ground, you should be damn ashamed of yourself. I would NEVER tell a man that "I need to test drive him before I X/Y/Z him" - what in the actual hell is wrong with you? I don't care that you said "it goes both ways" - NEVER DEGRADE A WOMAN NOR A MAN TO OBJECTS. Obviously analogies aren't meant to be taken literally since anyone who is logical KNOWS a person is not a CAR - but you cannot go and degrade and belittle human beings by making ANALOGIES between them and objects. That's freaking wrong. You said you would like a daughter right? Next time you actually do, tell her she's a car. A car men need to test. And, if she's not good enough - that's okay, because other men can test her too. Every man on the steet can test her. You're just an object sweetie, for the sexual pleasure of men. It's okay. Don't cry, maybe you'll be a good enough car for other men next time. You should objectify your body like a good, good car for them sweetie. You don't have the balls to ever tell a precious daughter shit like that - So do me a favor and NEVER spew such nonsence ever again.

@dinone Thank you ! I appreciate it I totally agree and I wish more people understood what you're saying.

I'd RATHER have that than another jerk that makes a stupid, childish and immature analogy between women and cars. Bring on the virgin man! @Roy

@Roy You're saying women are OBJECTS - shame on you. I sincerely mean it - You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself for saying such and utter nonesense. There's a difference between saying well, I'd rather have sex before marriage because I want to see if we're compatible blah blah blah...then to make such a degrading analogy between woman, HUMAN BEINGS, to cars. Oh and guess what? I'd never test drive your dick, Literally not worth it.

@K Ghoul Condoms Condoms Condoms Condoms Sorry, condoms can tear and are NOT 100% full proof - against getting pregnant and against preventing any and all STD's and STI's. Spiritual ties are stronger and condoms aren't a barrier for real - as far as I've read/heard. The first 2 reasons are way more important to me though.

Absolutely never. I know what I'm wroth. You're welcome to get used for sex though - if you're that convinced. Never in a million years - utterly gross & vile. @Arcangelo

@K Ghoul YES GIRL AND THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@Sleyker It certainly and is most definitely MY CHOICE, yes indeed. I have absolutely no worries about marrying a man that I don't enjoy sex with nor the opposite - I know exactly how to commincate my needs and what I desire and can gage rather well on sexual chemistry tbh. I also know what I bring and can bring to the table and have no worries about no man (that I desire and want) - not enjoying sex with me. What you do in your life is what matters and I respect what you feel is best for you.

@Preety_India Thank you kindly. I will agree that Western cultrue is very liberating and free, for sure ! Good to know you get me in that you're also not supportive of hook up culture, one night stands ect. Wishing you luck in your loving relationship with your bf! I believe you, physical intimacy with him is of course not meaningless and I would like to appologize if I somehow offended you and or belittled you in any way shape or form with my replies ! - My Apologies, I'm sorry.

@Preety_India That's fine! However I do disagree that meaningless sex can occur before marriage aka one night stands, hook up cultrure. People who practice that and enjoy that themselves DO label it as meaningless sex so it isn't per se "my terms", so to speak. I'm not saying that you personally should avoid sex, for anything really... Precausion aka birth control is not 100% though. Not unless you practice absitnance. I've known people whom have had babies using 2 forms of birth control TOGETHER lol. And other people who are a product of that as well. Of course precausion is important, very important infact - even more so if condoms are used to prevend STD's and STI's. What I'm trying to say is unwanted pregnancy can only be fully "avoided" with not having sex. At all. I have listed a lot of reasons for why I would like to avoid sex before marraige - I urge you to read them if it would clarify things. I'm not saying any of them are something you should do nor follow. I am sorry to hear that the society where you live demonizes girls whom aren't virgins. That's cleary wrong and disrespectful, of course ! Oh and of course I could tell you're Asian! That's very cool ! You'd be surprised but not all of the West thinks sex before marriage is good ect - aka conservatives (not all, those that are more religious per se). There are some that demonize sex before marriage (again, NOT saying that's a good thing). So yeah the West as a whole is way more welcoming to it but I wouldn't say it's a full 180 to the East. I wouldn't exactly encourage Motherhood before marriage but I get it - it's a personal choice. I wouldn't say a woman is doing "something wrong" by being an unwed Mother HOWEVER I do think she could have done better for herself and do better. She deserves better for herself and for her child/ren (unless she's really against getting married, at all). That's my stance on it. I have sexual desires as well - nothing wrong with that. I just choose when I want to act on it and practice self control. I wouldn't say the opposite is bad per se it's just a personal choice And you're right, it's one thing to have a choice and another to go and make a taboo non regulation on it society wise. I don't think there's anything wrong in virgin brides if that's the woman's choice - if it's not then of course that's horrible and dehumanizing ect.. My culture is not for virgin brides unless you come from an ultra orthodox backround and even if you are - there are still "rebals" that do what ever they want in secret. Shhh. Haha.

@Preety_India Hey there! Thank you for taking the time to reply on my post ! I appreciate it. It does seem that EVERYTHING I stated can be avoided - STD's, unwanted pregnancies ect...however all of that can be avoided pretty much without having relationships/marriages as well. You can avoid every single thing I said without even having sex ! If you feel that sex should have nothing to do with marriage, then why should literally anyone on the face of the earth get married? why should there even be relationships? are we just all FUCK BUDDIES? lol Marriage is a sacred thing, it's a standard ppl are allowed to have. I'm not saying everyone should be married nor do they want to! I know there are women & men that do not. But there are others like me that prefer to be rather than have meaningless sex outside of marriage. No one is better than the other - it's a preference & has to do with standards & values. I would like to add that growing up in Asia has funny enough to influenced my decision to seprate sex and save it for marriage. I'm not Asian and did not grow up in an Asian household if that's what you meant. It's totally cool that you don't follow such a thing! I never said someone is impure if they have sex before marriage haha. Maybe you feel sexually repressed? I feel VERY liberated to not deal with sex before marriage! It's a choice I make every single day. I do it for myself. There is no true repression if you enjoy saving sex for marriage. If you do not and want to have sex before - of course you're going to feel repressed.

@Gili Trawangan Hey Gili! Thank you for taking the time to read my post and post a reply! I really do appreciate it haha I am sorry though it was super long lol ! I can totally understand you chose to skip ahead in parts which makes sense (I thought the bolded text would make it faster too). And, THANK YOU for saying it's not crazy! It feels nice to know that the reasons I stated also seem good/logical - from your words. You're right, I don't think I really got into why I felt the need to ask hmm...good question! I think it has to do with me feeling a bit hopeless in finding a a partner in today's society with all I shared? Like, where I live - it's soo odd to be a virgin at 28 (by choice) + not be religious. So I thought (and was curious) to share in order to see what other men think/feel about it in order to see where I stand and to get more perspective from the opposite sex (tbh I don't really have anyone to share this with without it seem a bit awkward/weird to bring up lol). To answer your question, I don't think there's a part of me that wants the opposite BUT I do think that's a great point to ponder (if that were the case) ! Haha I'm going to take that as a compliment, that a girl like me sounds like a fantasy and, thank you for reassuring me that there are plenty of guys out there in your opinion whom would be happy to find someone like me - makes me feel a bit better ! You're very kind ! And, I fully respect you when you said that you're not into marriage! That's cool too!

@Jaccobtw Lady here - I think micropenises are actually hot af !!! Lol. It's sad they they're not being appreciated enough.

@Schnaby This is EMOTIONAL ABUSE. Girl, run !!!!! You have done NOTHING wrong. You do not deserve to be treated like this.

Hey Everyone, I hope everyone is having a good day/night where ever you are in the world. My heart just feels really, really heavy tonight and I feel the need to ask for help and some guidance right now and I feel like this is the only "open" place and platform I can go to in order to express these thoughts and feelings I'm having right now. I think everything that's going on in the world weighs heavy on everyone in some shape or form - for many different reasons. I just feel like it also CAN applify feelings that already exist within you; and with myself, I just think they're the already existing feeling of depression & despair. With everything going on in the world, I have not been able to do my best in Uni, let alone barely do anything I need to do. I've struggled all semester, which to me is not new but it's that much more harder. I honestly feel really consumed with the feeling that "I don't care" and also a mix of "what's the point?". Not in the classical sense of "what's the point of life", but for me, more so - "I don't FEEL the point". I fucking hate school. I really, really do. There is honestly just no other way to say it elegantly. I've been in Uni as an undergrad for over 4 YEARS (!) now and I am no where near done. My dream was to get into gratuate school and to study Clinical Psychology but long story short - that is not working out; my grades aren't high enough. I am not good enough academically according to the very, very high standards I would need to accomplish in order to even get it. And, lately I found out (specifically to what I was interested in within this field - that EVEN if everything was literally perfect and I somehow made it in and did it all...it still isn't worth it). That really broke my heart and it was literally my only big dream in life. I really wanted it more than anything, essentially. Since then (and before) of COURSE I had a plan B, and now more than ever...that's all I really have. Believe me, I get it - I know not everyone gets to fullfill their dreams in life. I really get it. And now with that and everything I mentioned...I just really feel consumed with feeling that I just don't care. I don't see nor feel the point anymore. I've been laying in bed for hours now just trying to grasp at something and it's like there is actually nothing. I think what deeply bothers me is how sad and depressed I feel over me literally always FORCING myself to do everything I need to do - self care, hygiene, school, communication...everything is frustrating already because I have to force myself to shower, respond back to friends, force myself to study...everything. I know I have depression, I would dare say clinical depression. I was in therapy and was somewhat validated by that but I cannot afford any therapy right now even if I wanted to. I have NO idea how to get over this. I feel such a deep dissapointment of myself - like I somehow realized I was never a good student...ever. All I did in life (school wise) was to do what I needed and to finish what I needed. I think I barely enjoyed school growing up, at all to be honest (apart from very few bare minimun classes if ever). I feel like my life has been me literally "doing" elementary school, middle school, high school...and now Uni. I am so over it. I really, really am. My then Therapist told advised me to stop Uni (for the sake of my depression & mental health) but...I just KNOW I'd hate myself more if I did because I know I'd have to go back to it one day (what ever that one day would be - 3 months, 6 months ect) - I would be older and feel more resentment of myself because the whole process of finishing Uni would have taken much LONGER due to me being on "a break". I am already 28, I could cry from sheer frustration from thinking of taking a break and then going back to school. Now I just...I don't care. I've tried to search tips to motivate myself but I kept realizing that...deep inside - I don't care. I felt that I was forcing myself to search for all that because I felt like "that's what I should be doing". I will be honest I have lost the will for romantic relationships in life, lost the will for children, lost the will for a social life, lost the will for friends and for communicating with them...all I really had left (will wise) was school, having a dream in life and now that that's honestly gone and I have suddenly faced my inner nature of "not caring" - I cannot help but feel empty, a failure in life. I am at a point where I literally do not know what to do. This whole laying in bed for hours and feeling the way I do has become a daily thing for months. It was essentially always THERE when I was feeling that much more depressed (before everything happened with the world) but now it's just amplified and it seem like it's all there is. I wish I can convay how horrible it is to feel this way but it's literally like a deep depression with realizing YOU as a person, who you feel you really are inside - doesn't care. These are NOT feelings I would wish on anyone. I am deeply, deeply ashamed. I feel like all my friends are thriving in life and all the students I talk to are perfect. I realize everyone has their struggles but I cannot even fix my own right now. I feel like I have no will power deep inside and everything I do is me forcing myself. Please let me know your thoughts and what I should maybe do? Thank you to all the kind & lovely souls reading this right now.

@commie Hey there!!! Thank you kindly for taking the time to reply to my post, I really do appreciate it That's SO awesome that you went back to school at 25!!! I think I did when I was 23 or so. I totally feel you on the too old thing lol. I wish I went when I was 20...it wasn't because I couldn't, I just honestly made horrible choices in trying to get into another school which took me like 2 years of my life for nothing and in the end once I did I left immediatly...so *sigh*. You're right, I wish I wasn't forcing myself all the time I wish I could seek help yes, but I don't think I could affort Therapy right now. A family doctor would probably perscribe SSRI's which is something I personally would not want to put in my body. I have been perscribed them before. Sadly I do not think there's a Woman's Oranization in my area providing such services? I will give it a check though!! thank you for pointing that out for me right now. You asked if what I shared (in the quote) was really a problem...that's a good question. It does feel so for me becuase it makes me feel less normal as a human being and even more so as a woman. To be honest it's kind of comforting that you're suggesting I do not need to care about any of this haha. You raise really good question...I think what I really care about is having a fulfilling carrer in something I adore (Therapy). That's been a dream of mind since I've been 16 so it's hard to let go of it per se (I barely can let go of wanting to be a Clinical Psychologist which was the big daddy dream, so to speak). I think my sadness comes from NOT feeling like I have something ELSE to care about that I WANT...any other "dreams" really feel like part time dreams and not like, the big deal. If that makes sence. I have no men to pursue ect...I don't have any emotional investment in other dreams or stuff I want (apart from material things, like everyone else I think)...hope all of this is making sense. I'm saying all this to say that, I don't feel like I have something to fall back to to - for example, maybe another woman feels like her dreams are not going to happen, but at least she has a loving partner to love her and she has a loving marriage to fall back into. You're very right, children are people and not an achievment YES. I think as a woman I always hear things like "children are the best thing I've ever accomplished in life" and that deters me because I want to WANT children 100%...it just seems like something way bigger than marriage and everything in life. That's true, some women have children 35 and older (I was a product of 35 lol) but I think there are some risks. Hence my stress about trying to have it all figured out by 35. You raise a lot of great questions... I want a carrer more than I do children, I'll be honest about that. I don't think I'd want to be a SAHM. So like you said, having a carrer would essentially me being "away" from them. I think the whole children discussion would be a whole other issue with me because I feel like I have issues with commitment somehow in that department. Like, you cannot GO BACK from having kids. And that really scares me. I realize that's weird haha.

@Red-White-Light Thank you kindly for taking the time to reply to my post! I really do appreciate it. I am totally guilty of compairing myself to others, yes...I think it stems from jealousy as well. I know you really do mean well but I think it's a bit more complicated as a woman - if I ever want kids, I will need to be aware of fertility years which after 35 have been said to plummet...I know 28 to 35 is not too short but it's a lot to think about in terms of carrer, at least finishing school, having a stable carrer and income, actually finding a man, falling in love ect...it's a lot to take in once I turned 28 (so I feel). I'll agree my mood is low yes I will do my best to mention what you've suggested if I ever get to have therapy again - thank you for your advice!!!

*** moved post to here as I think it was perhaps more appropriate on this discussion board. Hey Everyone! I'd REALLY appreciate your thoughts on this topic as this has been a real thought and feeling that I've been processing for quite a while now. I realize everyone is DIFFERENT so this isn't me saying your own personal friendships and or romantic relationships are overrated (obviously!); however, this is me kind of realizing that I think (in general) that friendships and or romantic relationships - seem overrated TO ME. For reference, I am a very friendly person. I have been so all my life. After the Military, you could say I got the "balls" to be that much more confident in asserting my presence and basically it helped me to be more confident in my friendly interactions in life. And, being a Gemini - you know I am talkative and that communication means the world to me. I need mental stimulation. For reference, I have had amazing friendships in my life - I will not deny that or try to be unappreciative about it because truth me told I do appreciate the time and effort that was had with said individuals. However, as time has gone by in my life - every single meaningfull relationships has ended. Of course it hurts, of course it's dissapointing and disheartening. I realize today that friendships that you might have THOUGHT would last a lifetime - are not a given. No matter how much you loved the person, invested in them and wanted things to work out - they still might decide to leave you and worse than that, not bother to tell you they have decided (on their own) to end the friendship. Obviously, as an adult - after all the pain and what have you, you understand that it's their choice and that you're going to have to respect that. And I do. But when this happens a LOT and every new friendship you make somehow ends no matter what you do - as a woman I honestly have gotten to a point where I am just like "what the hell is the point?" Before anyone jumps me and says "yeah this might be a you thing" then they can calm down because MUTUAL friends have had the same expeirence with what I shared about friends ect and so I know this isn't me. And if it were, I trust that people whom are adults have enough balls to say that it was me - since they have not, I won't push someone into it because that's not who I am nor have any interest in being. Now, onto romantic relationships - yes yes I get it, it's odd - I'm 28 and have never been in a romantic relationship. When I was younger I REALLY wanted to have one! It is probably one of the basic and fundemental exprierences you can go through as a human being. However as the YEARS have gone by...it literally never happened. No matter how hard I tried to better myself Physically, emotionally ect. And yes, I have been in love before and was in 2 major online relationships that WERE supposed to come to fruitian however they had decided to end things with me. Another time where I was in love before, it was in situation where the person was taken so of course you cannot pursue that. At this point in my life I just don't care for romantic relationships anymore. I lost the desire for them entirely, so it seems. I get it, people are in love and it gives them happiness but that being said I am just filled with feelings of "what's the point?" I cannot help but feel they're overrated. Maybe it also has to do with the feeling of never have expriencing unconditional love perhaps? I feel like I was NEVER good enough for anyone to begin with, anyways. So at this point, at 28...I don't see the point to friendships anymore nor romantic relationships. It doesn't even excite me anymore. I don't know if I'm being harsh but you get to a point where you don't care to try anymore tbh. What's the point? starting new friendships for them to leave every few months? And, why should I chase men or romantic relationships if they literally do nothing for me? I'd just be on a date, PLAYING a part of being nice when in fact I am bored and they bore me, plus it always seem more like what I CAN DO FOR THEM instead of what we can do for each other as in I am seen like a sex object that needs to fullfill their needs when in fact my needs always seem to much when I want emotional support - fuck that, fuck that all the way I don't care for little boys like that in my life. Maybe it's me needing mental stimulation but everything seems overrated to me right now in term of the friendship & romantic relationship domain. I am STILL a very friendly person becuase that's who I am to the core and it's part of my personality however I don't care anymore about said above. Am I wrong to feel they're overrated? Please let me know as I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you

Hey Everyone! I'd really appreciate your thoughts on my current emotional situation... Long story short, I've been feeling quite lost in the past few days, spiritually but even more so existentially. I just found out some important information about my dream job that suddenly made me rethink eveything about it, and life. My dream job was to become a Clinical Psychologist, I'm 28 and this has been my dream literally since I was about 15/16 or so. Ever since, I worked really hard to finish my Degree and sadly I am not there yet due to having depression for years and thus slowing down my progress. That being said, I had been VERY upset internally for years, realizing I might never be able to get into a graduate program/graduate school in said field because of the VERY high standerds where I live. It is near impossible even to those that already have all the requirments. I took things very much to heart, to the point where I sincerley felt like such a failure in life - that I wasn't smart enough and accomplished enough to acheive my goals, that literally every one apart from me including school friends and other students I met - were and are so much better than I. I literally cannot even begin to tell you how long I've been taking this to heart for many years now. However, suddenly 2 or so days ago I read some information in regards to how what I REALLY wanted, in real life - isn't so financially rewarding...at all. I basically got inside information as to how things would have gone if I ever did make it like I wanted to (I wanted a very specific path in the Clinical Psychology realm of practicing Therapy). At first when I read everything and talked with a few ppl that know what's up...I suddenly felt...relieved, in a sense. My dream suddenly seemed to break apart. I felt like all the effort all these years was...for something that wasn't even worth it financially. Obviously money is NOT everything in life (!!!) however it was a huge wakeup call as I knew I could never sustain myself finanically if I continued to go down that path - not only myself, it would literally never be enough if I ever was married and or had to support kids. To makes things more clear - it wasn't even enough to sustain even MYSELF and only myself. Especially for someone that has to go through literally 3 years undergrade + 2 years graduate school + 2-3 years waiting for an internship program and then 4 years being an intern --> the salary you get AFTER all this was what I meant when I said it cannot possibly be sustainable. Next to nothing for everything that a professional Clinical Psychologist "deserves" to make after such a long process (keep in mind - I mean a very specific thing). I suddenly felt so empty after finding this out. Somehow RELIEVED after beating myself up sooo much emotionally all these years, that I was never enough and feeling pain in not getting to my dream...but now? I realized that even if by a MIRACLE I did achieve me dream...it wouldn't be as "amazing" as I thought it might. At the same time, I have lost the desire for friendhips, romantic relationships, marriage, a social life...I felt like what I had "left" was school and trying to achieve my dream, which now has literally pretty much broken apart. Don't get me wrong, there is still pain in this. But now I feel this...existential pain like as an acutal person that feels empty - what do I do when I lost ALL those desires I just mentioned plus the ONLY thing I really, really wanted in life? I know people might suggest becoming a Therapist in other fields...I TOTALLY looked into everything I have where I live! And I thought of something as plan B...but my heart knows that it's literally just a bandage for what was my real dream, Clinical Psychology. Like I am trying to settle with myself and my heart and soul. I know not everyone in life gets to achieve their dream. I totally get that, and the more I grow older - the more I respect it. However as someone that's been suffering from Depression for YEARS...I cannot even begin to tell you how much I put all my hope into this dream carrer. I would literally feel like this is what I have to hope for...but now this happened. I feel empty. I get teary eyed just thinking about it because I feel like I want to say sorry to my inner child, sorry that I am still not enough even at 28 and that I didn't achieve what I wanted. I am in some way grateful that I don't have to really beat myself up (that much) after knowing what I found out in regards to the financial prospects if I ever did get to my dream job. I just...I don't know what to do. I cannot even begin to tell you how much depression has consumed my life (also because of all the struggles with school) and now I feel empty because I was sucidal for YEARS and thought that this is what I have to hold onto, my dream job but now that's...gone. Everything seems kind of pointless and now I feel like I have to push myself through school just to finish my degree when in fact I just feel like, what's the point? so that I can finish my degree and never get into what I really wanted but then if by some miracle I did, then that's shit too? Yesterday everything just dawned on me and I remember almost laying back on the couch and feeling the sunrays on my skin and my eyes brimming with tears and all the years of me wanting this dream job and feeling suddenly how I don't know anything about life anymore and feeling deep down that I am nothing...I sincerely felt that nothing that I am. I hope you guys are understanding my heart in bewteeen the lines, I just feel so incredibly sad like what's the point to be honest? I cannot help but feel so sad existentially. Please let me know your thoughts on how you think I should maybe move forward - I am so sadly lost on a real existential level and I wish I could convay how say and depressed I feel over it all. Thank You Kindly, <3.

Hey Everyone! I'd REALLY appreciate your thoughts on this topic as this has been a real thought and feeling that I've been processing for quite a while now. I realize everyone is DIFFERENT so this isn't me saying your own personal friendships and or romantic relationships are overrated (obviously!); however, this is me kind of realizing that I think (in general) that friendships and or romantic relationships - seem overrated TO ME. For reference, I am a very friendly person. I have been so all my life. After the Military, you could say I got the "balls" to be that much more confident in asserting my presence and basically it helped me to be more confident in my friendly interactions in life. And, being a Gemini - you know I am talkative and that communication means the world to me. I need mental stimulation. For reference, I have had amazing friendships in my life - I will not deny that or try to be unappreciative about it because truth me told I do appreciate the time and effort that was had with said individuals. However, as time has gone by in my life - every single meaningfull relationships has ended. Of course it hurts, of course it's dissapointing and disheartening. I realize today that friendships that you might have THOUGHT would last a lifetime - are not a given. No matter how much you loved the person, invested in them and wanted things to work out - they still might decide to leave you and worse than that, not bother to tell you they have decided (on their own) to end the friendship. Obviously, as an adult - after all the pain and what have you, you understand that it's their choice and that you're going to have to respect that. And I do. But when this happens a LOT and every new friendship you make somehow ends no matter what you do - as a woman I honestly have gotten to a point where I am just like "what the hell is the point?" Before anyone jumps me and says "yeah this might be a you thing" then they can calm down because MUTUAL friends have had the same expeirence with what I shared about friends ect and so I know this isn't me. And if it were, I trust that people whom are adults have enough balls to say that it was me - since they have not, I won't push someone into it because that's not who I am nor have any interest in being. Now, onto romantic relationships - yes yes I get it, it's odd - I'm 28 and have never been in a romantic relationship. When I was younger I REALLY wanted to have one! It is probably one of the basic and fundemental exprierences you can go through as a human being. However as the YEARS have gone by...it literally never happened. No matter how hard I tried to better myself Physically, emotionally ect. And yes, I have been in love before and was in 2 major online relationships that WERE supposed to come to fruitian however they had decided to end things with me. Another time where I was in love before, it was in situation where the person was taken so of course you cannot pursue that. At this point in my life I just don't care for romantic relationships anymore. I lost the desire for them entirely, so it seems. I get it, people are in love and it gives them happiness but that being said I am just filled with feelings of "what's the point?" I cannot help but feel they're overrated. Maybe it also has to do with the feeling of never have expriencing unconditional love perhaps? I feel like I was NEVER good enough for anyone to begin with, anyways. So at this point, at 28...I don't see the point to friendships anymore nor romantic relationships. It doesn't even excite me anymore. I don't know if I'm being harsh but you get to a point where you don't care to try anymore tbh. What's the point? starting new friendships for them to leave every few months? And, why should I chase men or romantic relationships if they literally do nothing for me? I'd just be on a date, PLAYING a part of being nice when in fact I am bored and they bore me, plus it always seem more like what I CAN DO FOR THEM instead of what we can do for each other as in I am seen like a sex object that needs to fullfill their needs when in fact my needs always seem to much when I want emotional support - fuck that, fuck that all the way I don't care for little boys like that in my life. Maybe it's me needing mental stimulation but everything seems overrated to me right now in term of the friendship & romantic relationship domain. I am STILL a very friendly person becuase that's who I am to the core and it's part of my personality however I don't care anymore about said above. Am I wrong to feel they're overrated? Please let me know as I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you

@LfcCharlie4 Hey There !!! Thank you kindly for taking the time to reply and share your thoughts; I really appreciate it I think you're right, I reazlie now that everyone really is different in that way. I'm glad to hear that at least for you, you know what you love and are aware of your needs in how to fulfull them. I did really like how you say that relationships can be an expression of happiness and love...that rings true to me. I think I'm just in this odd phase right now where I lost the desire for relationships all together. But I'm at an age where as a woman...I guess i'm in my late 20's and society kind of pressures you about kids or what have you. I think at this point I'm so used to being SINGLE that being in a romantic relationships feels too demanding to me as in I don't like having to answer to someone or to be judged by them, constantly. Thank you though, for your prespective !