uberman

Sry for the delay. @Extreme Z7, that's why we are in this forum to share and to get inspired by others ;-) I am also very glad that I talk about my experience. It is kind of psycho-therapy. Otherwise I can’t speak so frankly. My friends already think that I am CRAZY. Here is another hardcore meditation practitioner: http://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/2540-nofapself-inquirymeditation-journal/ Fallback I gave in to my porn addiction on last Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. As I used my desktop computer, unwillingly I remembered nice feelings. And it just happened. If someone turned the autopilot on. Later I regretted and then I realized my particular computer reminds me of nice feelings ( rewards ). So I unplugged and I disassembled the certain computer into individual parts until my mind is purged. Meditation insights I did mediation without neglecting. At beginning of week my right hip’s pain was increasing. This week the weather was beautiful. I have often sitted in the living room with open window door. So I could sense light breezes on my skin during meditation. When I sit cross-legged, the left leg is outside and the right leg is inside. Not to strain my right hip too much, I tried to put the right leg outside. At first I sensed more pain in other body areas only because I am unfamiliar with the new position. Afterall it helped to relieve the pain in the right hip. As I sat in front of open window door, there were more noises compared to my bed room. But as in jungle it doesn’t exist total calmness. I listened to twittering instead of ticking from watch. Exam preparations When I look at my exam schedule, I always feel so overwhelmed and so scared because I have no clue how to tackle it. But as I picked one exam and wrote down the topics. It seems more feasible. So I began to write flash cards. If I work with 100% concentration, I need after 30/40mins a small break. (https://youtu.be/23Xqu0jXlfs) Somehow I can manage to study one day on my desk like a good boy, but next day I need a lot effort to move my ass to desk. I guess that I know the upcoming exams are very intimidating unconsciously. There are distractions like family members which think I have time for them. And I allow them to distract me. (book: procrastinate on purpose) Sometimes it feels like I am not in the mood for learning. I know the last one especially sounds like very stupid excuse. For example if I overfill my stomach, afterwards I don’t want learn. Polyphasic sleep - http://highexistence.com/alternate-sleep-cycles/ Normally we sleep once per night for 7-8 hours. Instead of one big sleep, you can split the sleep into multiple naps. For example you have 3x nap 20min and 1x nap 90min. The main benefit is, you gain more time to be awake. Please go to link above for further infos. I have attempted several times without success. I really like the idea. Last time I failed, I said to myself I have to be patient because my mind is not yet strong enough. I don’t think that I am ready now. But what I know from last time is, if I am sleep deprived, I automatically concentrate only on the important things. Even if I fail again, it pushes me in the right directions.

@Phrae Thank you for feedback. I have added The Five Ways to my book list. I have tried out various techniques, but I prefer strong determination sitting. I remember why my meditation habit fall apart. The main reason probably is that my right hip began to pain severely. The other reason is that at beginning of vacation I fall ill, which reduced my will power radically. For me, the place home meant relaxing and entertainment. The place college means do the hard work. As vacation began, I was in entertainment environment. That led myself to the feeling I should be entertained. So I was always playing video games, watching movies and watching porn. Of course there always will be skepticism, but you have to remind yourself, why meditation is very important. Sorry, I forgot to mention “deliberate”. The idea behind simple math was not to say that you will reach enlightenment exactly after 9.2 years. It was more intended to show if someone wants to master this field in short period, then it is good decision to practice 3h daily. Otherwise it may take 30 years with 1h daily practice. Personally it isn’t a big deal to sacrifice 3h daily for meditation. Last week The last week was afterall a good week because I managed to establish 2 key stone habits. The first one is to meditate in the morning for 90min and in the evening for 90min. This time I always stretched my hips before meditation and that helps a lot. I only failed once to mediate on Tuesday evening. The other one is to read daily books. I wasn’t even aware myself that this habit means a lot for me. There was a problem with credit card before my vacation has started, therefore, I stopped buying new books. But I received my new credit card last weekend. I also got rid of some bad habits. By video game I simply erased the game from computer. By porn I tried to avoid the websites, but it didn’t work. I assume the craving controlled my behaviour, afterwards I realized what I did and regretted it. So I blocked the known websites on my computer. Even when I set up the blocking and I know how to undo. I see this blocking as higher force and that works for me. By movies I try not to watch so often. This one I still struggle. I guess the craving is still remaining. (In the book the power of habit, it is better explained.) Meditation insights I realized again, it’s better to meditate with empty or half-empty than overfilled stomach. When I meditated in late evening or early morning, it is very calm then I can hear ticking of my watch. As I tried to concentrate on the ticking, it disappeared. But as I didn’t focus on ticking, I can hear ticking. At beginning of sitting, in the mind usually comes up uncertainties and worrying thoughts. But in the course of sitting, I have sometimes eureka moments. Unfortunatly I can’t get up and write it down. Most of time I can still remember after meditation. Towards the end of sitting I have sometimes very short period of calmness. Valuable thought As mentioned before I have sometimes eureka moments during meditation. A major eureka I like to share with you. I once asked myself if is important to pursue to be good. Afterall good and evil is just a label from society to persuade me and you. But after I have read book ‘the power of habit’, my subconscious was bubbling. Suddenly, I realized why to be good is important (in most case) during meditation. In the book, he is telling story about Martin Luther King Jr. Once the white people put a bomb in his house. As the bomb went off, in the house were his wife and kid. Fortunately they weren’t hurt because they were at other end of house. Despite the fact that his family nearly died, he remained peaceful. And he said to accumulated black fellows that they also should remain calm and they should embrace hatred with love. (Something like that, I can’t remember the exact words.) In King’s case, to be good is the emotionally difficult decision. (Also Leo made a video about this topic - https://youtu.be/ayEoiU5MOg4 ) In general to be good is emotionally difficult. Challenge: exam preparations Books I recommend Mastery – Robert Greene The first 20 hours – Josh Kaufman The obstacle is the way – Ryan Holiday The power of habit – Charles Duhig

About little bit more than a year ago I was interested in Lucid Dreaming. I tried out different techniques like WBTB, Reality Checks, Dream Journal,… But none of them really brought me to lucid dreaming. One youtube guy was always talking that a Japanese monk, which is meditating his entire life, will be able to control his dream perfectly. And that meditation is great tool for Lucid dreaming. Serendipitously I came across Leo’s video “The No Bullshit Guide to Meditation”. After the video I was totally inspired to do the meditation on regular basis. I began with 20min mediation. At beginning I really struggled with sitting cross-legged and keeping back straight. As I increased the duration to 60min, my legs began to fall asleep. First time I was concerned because it felt so unpleasant. But after some research online. I found out that it is not harmful. So I let my legs go numb. According to the video “Meditation on Steroids”, I should push further. Then I started to meditate for 90mins and it was again though at beginning. Positive side effect of mediation, it strengths your torso muscles. If you meditate in the morning, you will have better bowel movement. After a year mediation I was able to sense a kind of new sensation for a short period (Maybe enlightenment experience - it includes also quiet moments of mind). I was once even mindful when my friend made me angry. Instead getting angry, I could observe my anger. It felt like a powerful, warm feeling coming up from stomach area. In these moments I tasted blood. In the book “Mastery” from Robert Greene, he mentions that 10’000 – 20’000 hours of practice is required for mastery. I have done little math and result is: By daily meditation of 1h, you need 10'000 days or 27.4 years for 10'000 hours of practice. By daily meditation of 1.5h, you need 6'667 days or 18.3 years for 10'000 hours of practice. By daily meditation of 3h, you need 3'333 days or 9.2 years for 10'000 hours of practice. So I began 3 hour daily meditating (beginning of May). I have done in the morning 90min and in the evening 90min. You will probably think that I am crazy. But you have to consider following points before judging me. Our mind is limited through various concepts. For an example the language, as I think, I speak to myself in the mind. But I could also think without to speak and just through imagination (or other senses). Another example is Stephen Wiltshire, he is autistic. But he can draw whole city after seeing it just once. His autism enables him this possiblity and disables to engage socially with other people. After all his brain and our brain is biologically compared the same. So we have the capability to do same incredible stuff. Don’t forget once you have tasted blood (quiet moments of mind), you want the divine power. In the 2nd week of June, my college vacation started. By my college, you have first vacation and then the semester exams. I have 10 weeks (2.5 months) holiday. So I thought one week relaxing and rest of weeks for exam preparation (one week for each exam). I am in the end of third week. Somehow I already screwed my master plan again (I thought I had learned from my first semester mistake). Before vacation I managed to mediated for 3 hours daily. But now I struggle to meditate for 90min daily (In the first week I was sick. Second week I caught a cold). The major problem is that I gave my monkey mind too much freedom. During lectures time it was easier for me to meditate for 3h because there I had strict routine. That’s why I come here, to report frequently and to face my 2 current major challenges. Challenge : daily Meditation (at least 90min) Challenge : exam preparations