Raphael

03 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 05:37 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:18 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Work Sessions: 09:26 AM - 10:23 AM: I did some research on the Instagram API. Work Duration: 57 minutes 10:43 AM - 11:01 AM: I planned a few new tasks. Work Duration: 18 minutes 01:32 PM - 02:35 PM: I planned a new task and had a call with a client. Work Duration: 1 hour 3 minutes 07:28 PM - 08:30 PM: I started a new SEO course. Work Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 11:06 AM - 12:30 AM: I went back to my personal project and created an API to get all connected Instagram accounts for a user. I got a little distracted by some stuff during this session and also experienced negative thoughts and sadness. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 24 minutes 02:46 PM - 04:09 PM: I created a new API and did some changes to a previous one. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 23 minutes @Raphael Good job Raphael! Also if you can start working for at least 09:00 AM it will be awesome too. Continue! Total Work Duration: 6 hours 7 minutes, including 2 hours 47 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

02 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 05:30 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ 09:09 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Work Sessions: 08:02 AM - 08:31 AM: I had a call with a client, he pointed out some bugs. Work Duration: 29 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 07:35 AM - 08:02 AM: I worked on optional fields and validation for the checkout page. Deep Work Duration: 27 minutes 08:41 AM - 10:02 AM: I made some other changes to the checkout page. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 21 minutes 12:14 AM - 01:02 AM: I analyzed some bugs. Deep Work Duration: 48 minutes 02:00 PM - 03:08 PM: I added some API calls. I still have many unrelated thoughts, I guess my life is not focused enough on my goals. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 8 minutes 03:15 PM - 04:37 PM: I finished loading the most similar products slider and almost completed the alternative products slider. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 17 minutes 07:29 PM - 07:56 PM: I'm now loading the correct alternative products data after getting the current product base information and metadata. Deep Work Duration: 27 minutes @Raphael That's good, your improving and regulating the rhythm. Congratulations for waking up at 5:30 AM! Keep it up! Total Work Duration: 6 hours 08 minutes, including 5 hours 39 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

01 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:45 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:05 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Deep Work Sessions: 11:09 AM - 01:20 PM: I started to handle the country shipping error on the checkout page. I got a little distracted near the end. Deep Work Duration: 2 hours 11 minutes 07:15 PM - 07:50 PM: I completed the shipping error handling. Deep Work Duration: 35 minutes @Raphael That's great, you rest properly today Try to wake up at 5:30 AM tomorrow, it will be very useful for your organization and your mood for the day. Love from your higher self ♥ Total Work Duration: 2 hours 46 minutes, including 2 hours 46 minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

I feel like losing thousands of neurons when listening to my family's discussions.

On Fixing Others And Ourselves So true and so elegantly said. Credits: @loub Full Post: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/50870-experiences-of-conscious-bullying/?do=findComment&comment=656161

Some Nice Working Music

30 June 2020 Wake Up Time: 05:55 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:04 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Work Sessions: 03:44 PM - 04:33 PM: I did some research on Instagram & planned a new task. Work Duration: 49 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 08:22 AM - 09:40 AM: I added the "Show More"/"Show Less" button for the category filter. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 18 minutes 10:01 AM - 11:09 AM: I corrected the password validation for the login & register modals. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 8 minutes 11:18 AM - 12:36 AM: I corrected API calls and correctly handled the captcha. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 18 minutes 01:42 PM - 03:34 PM: I updated the product links and fixed the "Add to Cart" bug. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 52 minutes @Raphael Good job Remember to stay focus on what you are doing in the now and you will create results much faster than you could ever imagine. Total Work Duration: 6 hours 25 minutes, including 5 hours 36 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

I went for a walk at the end of the day with my dogs, just as usual. A man saw me and started to ask me some questions. I'm a man myself and never noticed this person before: Hey, where are you from? Do you live here? Is your dad from here? Do you work? What's your age? Are you married? What's your name? Where are you going? Can I come with you? Do you have some time? Where is your house? I also think that he asked me if need some money or I had some money, but I'm not sure... I gave him a fake name, told him that that the dogs would not walk if he comes, that I'm just going to walk for 10 more minutes and then go back home. He walked in the opposite direction. Why did he ask me these questions? It felt weird from my side.

29 June 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:05 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:02 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Deep Work Sessions: 09:45 AM - 10:15 AM: I changed the call of the filter API from a GET request to a POST request, I get some data now. It looks like there's a bug with the backend. Deep Work Duration: 30 minutes 10:30 AM - 12:39 AM: I improved the filters display. I distracted myself a little sometimes on the actualized.org forum. This session was also too long. Deep Work Duration: 2 hours 9 minutes 01:39 PM - 02:39 PM: I find out why the category filter was not working and fixed it. I now need to handle the multi requests for multiple categories. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 02:49 PM - 3:50 PM: I started to manage the cursors for loading the products on the search page. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 1 minute 03:58 PM - 04:44 PM: I converted to code to handle parallel requests so that it runs faster. The work on this part is almost done. Deep Work Duration: 46 minutes 07:48 PM - 08:23 PM: I fixed the duplicate loading bug. I still need to add a "Show More"/"Show Less" button for the categories. Deep Work Duration: 35 minutes @Raphael Yes, that's good! You just need to do a little effort to wake up earlier (around 5:30 AM) and it will change the trajectory of your life and the trajectory of the universe! Total Work Duration: 6 hours 1 minute, including 6 hours 1 minute of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

I felt an uncomfortable and weird vibe. It's the second time that I get approached by a man exactly at this place, the previous one asked me a few similar questions then ask me: "Do you like sex?" I got other approaches before too. One day a guy asked for my number on the bus, another day someone messaged me on Facebook and told me that he was watching me walking in the street and would like to have sex with me and suck my dick, he also sent me gay porn images.

28 May 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:00 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Work Sessions: No work for today @Raphael That's good, you woke up early and got some rest today. Keep it up! Total Work Duration: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

New Fitness Program Monday Bench Press: 3x8, 40 seconds rest (Superset) Incline Bench Press + Dumbbell Fly: 3x8, 1 minute rest (Superset) Arnold Press, Front Plate Raise, Rear Deltoid Fly, Plate Truck Drivers, 3x8, 1 minute rest Reverse Curl: 3x8, 40 seconds rest Wrist Curl: 3x8, 40 seconds rest Wednesday Running: 30 - 60 minutes Friday Pull-Ups: 3x8, 40 seconds rest (Superset) T-Bar Row, Seated Cable Row: 3x8, 1 minute rest (Superset) Dips, Dumbbell Skullcrushers: 3x8, 1 minute rest Cable Triceps: 3x8, 1 minute rest (Superset) Barbell Curl, Cable Curl: 3x8, 1 minute rest Concentration Curl: 3x8 (both arms), 40 second rest Sunday Full Squat: 3x8, 1 minute rest Leg Press: 3x8, 1 minute rest Leg Extension: 3x8, 40 seconds rest Lying Leg Curl: 3x8, 40 seconds rest Dead Lift: 3x8, 1 minute rest Calves Raises: 3x16, 40 seconds rest

Simplifying Fitness The quarantine is almost over now which means that I will go back to the gym soon. I used to care a lot about my physical appearance because I was very thin and attracted a lot of critics when I was in high-school so I started to go to the gym and take it very seriously. At a point, I was doing 5 sessions/week starting at 5:00 AM, but that was quite exhausting and inauthentic. Having a big & large bodybuilder body doesn't interest me anymore, but I still like to look good. I'm going to simplifying how I exercise to make my life more authentic.

On Human Evolution And Possibilities Human beings only have a certain amount of limited possibilities, yet these limits don't seem to exists because we are so complex creatures. Nevertheless, they are here and we can see them when we compare ourselves to animals. A cheetah can run to 128 km/h, but we can't. Fishes live underwater, but most of us can only stay immersed for a few minutes without breathing. Birds can fly, but we can't. We can't do any of that without machines. It seems to me that consciousness is trying to evolve to a new complex form by combining organic life with machines but still didn't find out how to create the next super specie that combines the best available capabilities in an elegant way. I have the intuition that after stage turquoise and beyond, life will have exhausted all the human possibilities and therefore will create a much more advanced specie. It will maybe combine organic life with machines, or find another way, and maybe some humans will see it appear.

Fake Self-Esteem And Low Self-Esteem Interaction There's an entire scale of self-esteem that starts with people who have no self-esteem and end-ups with people who have very high self-esteem. On this scale between the transition from low self-esteem to having some self-esteem, there are people with fake self-esteem. Fake self-esteem people are people who have a lot of insecurities but hide them with a fake self-esteem layer, they want to be seen and act as confident but are not and will often use force to drag themselves up (that's discipline, notably the stage blue one, but it also applies for low orange and red too). The result of that is accumulated anger and the inability to have proper emotional mastery. Fake self-esteem people will also react against people who have low self-esteem but don't fake it, they will criticize them, try to correct them, and blame them for being weak. They do it because they are very afraid of realizing how low their self-esteem is and afraid of processing their emotions, so they will naturally hurt other people and try to make them react. I noticed this with people and myself. My self-esteem in school was very low so I attracted a lot of bullies who had fake self-esteem. I also had periods where I had low self-esteem and therefore some people that I was working with started to criticize me, blame me, or ridicule me. But I also did the opposite. Sometimes in my life, I created fake self-esteem and was reactive with people with no fake low self-esteem so I criticized them for that without realizing that I was myself insecure. On this forum, I found myself attracted sometimes to people who have low self-esteem and are talking about their difficulties. I need to watch myself closely. High self-esteem appears when someone properly embodies the healthy aspects of the SD developmental stages.

It seems to me that hardcore metal music is stage red. I didn't understand this kind of music most of my life, my bet now is that some people who have a lot of anger and insecurities release it through metal music. I don't know if this is healthy though.

27 June 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:36 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Work Sessions: 09:12 AM - 10:13 AM: I got back configuring the remote desktop environment. I got some issues and was distracting myself because extracting some files took a lot of time. Work Duration: 1 hour 1 minute 10:32 AM - 11:02 AM: I'm losing too much time trying to configure this remote environment. This is not so important, I'm going to move forward and skip this. Work Duration: 30 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 11:30 PM - 12: 35 PM: I got back to coding, but was very distracted because I was listening to MBTI talks at the same time. I also took a lot of time to get started because of distractions. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 5 minutes 01:35 PM - 02:44 PM: I loaded the categories from the API. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 9 minutes 02:58 PM - 04:50 PM: I managed checkboxes and query parameters for the category filter. I distracted myself a little near the end. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 52 minutes 05:18 PM - 06:02 PM: The categories are now automatically preselected if they are present in the query parameters. Deep Work Duration: 44 minutes @Raphael That's good! You're getting back on track and you almost woke up at 6 AM today, you just need to do a few efforts to wake up on time tomorrow. Keep moving forward! Total Work Duration: 6 hours 21 minutes, including 4 hours 50 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

26 June 2020 Wake Up Time: 07:07 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:20 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Work Sessions: 3:14 PM - 04:10 PM: I had a call with a client. Work Duration: 56 minutes 04:10 PM - 04:32 PM: I connected to a remote desktop and started to do a few configurations. Work Duration: 22 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 11:15 AM - 12:43 AM: I designed a custom checkbox, did an API call, and started to filter the products by brands. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes 01:40 PM - 02:37 PM: I managed query parameters to work with the brand filter and also test out the backend API. Deep Work Duration: 57 minutes 03:00 PM - 3:14 PM: I started back the work, but then got interrupted by a client. Deep Work Duration: 14 minutes @Raphael Today was not a very productive day, but you did the best that you could. Accept it and move forward, tomorrow will be better, you will wake up early (between 5:30 AM and 6:00 AM) and get started early in the morning. Remember to stay focused on your dreams and they will magically materialize. Take care ♥️ Total Work Duration: 3 hours 57 minutes, including 2 hours 39 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

Encouraging Myself I'm going to start giving myself more love, compassion, and encouragement on this journey. I noticed that I often notice what's wrong and ignore what's going well when I'm trying to attain objectives. I will use confirmations at the end of the day to bring positivity and move forwards in life.

@ElenaO Yeah, I have the same issue too. I resonate so much with Leo that it's crazy. We are both INTPs and both have/had toxic families, I also wanted to become a game designer like him when I was a teen and was highly interested in philosophy when I was in high school. In fact, I resonate so much with his teaching style that I feel like it's me who is talking to the camera. It's hard to stop watching him when he feels like being my clone. So much similarities, that's crazy.

Destructuring Myself Before Building Myself I need to destructure myself first before building myself. When building ourselves, we build either on emptiness or on previous conditioning, and if it's previous conditioning it's often an unhealthy one. It's better to have an empty foundation than an unhealthy foundation. A tower built on solid foundations will raise higher and be much more stable than towers who have weak foundations. That's why I place Meditation, Kriya Yoga, Shadow Work, and Reichian Therapy before everything else. It will help me destructure my mind/body and have a clean empty foundation to build myself as a human being.