Raphael

I think that's stage red.

08 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:10 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 00:40 AM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Deep Work Sessions: 08:44 AM - 10:00 AM: I wanted to continue the work on the mobile navigation, but run into a bug that I didn't expected. I also got distracted by my depressed grandma who started to cry. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 16 minutes 10:35 AM - 12:19: I continued the work on the mobile navigation. I had a lot of painful thoughts about my dad, my toxic family, stage red, narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 44 minutes 03:21 PM - 04:46 PM: I completed the mobile navigation menu. I was distracted as I was at the same time setting up my new computer and talking to my sister. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes 09:59 PM - 00:27 AM: I worked on the mobile filters and almost completed them. Deep Work Duration: 2 hours 28 minutes Shit... @Raphael Let go, just let go. Total Work Duration: 5 hours 53 minutes, including 5 hours 53 minute of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

07 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:23 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:05 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 10:32 AM - 12:12 AM: I fixed the bug that I had yesterday and started to design the mobile navigation bar. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 40 minutes 12:20 AM - 01:05 PM: I continued the design of the navigation bar. Deep Work Duration: 45 minutes 02:01 PM - 03:24 PM: I completed the design for the navigation bar. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 23 minutes 03:31 PM - 04:59 PM: I started to design the left navigation pane. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes 08:06 PM - 09:08 PM: I continued the work with the navigation page, I'm currently very satisfied with its design. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes @Raphael Good job Raph! See letting go always works Continue! Total Work Duration: 6 hours 18 minutes, including 6 hours 18 minute of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

06 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 07:29 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:20 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:10 AM - 10:28 AM: I had a call with my client. Work Duration: 18 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:27 AM - 10:10 AM: I discovered some bugs with the mobile view, I started to fix them, then got a call from my client. Deep Work Duration: 43 minutes 10:47 AM - 12:50 AM: Fixing these structural bugs are a nightmare, they super pissed me off. I also was super distracted by unrelated thoughts storms during this session. Deep Work Duration: 2 hours 3 minutes 02:02 PM - 03:15 PM: All these bugs made me crazy. I lost self-control during this session, fortunately, I saw some light near the end of the session and got out of this endless tunnel. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 13 minutes 07:42 PM - 09:05 PM: There's a remaining bug, but I didn't found a way to fix it. I will do that tomorrow. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 23 minutes This day was a crash day. I expected to get a lot of things done and move fast but entered bug hell. I exploded at the end of the day and wasn't able to work at all, I was feeling overstressed and very pressured. I started to watch porn and ended up jerking off. @Raphael Let go, let go, let go of all your expectations, you don't need to succeed nor to fail, you know what you need deep inside you even if words cannot describe it. Love from your higher self ♥️ Total Work Duration: 4 hours 57 minutes, including 4 hours 39 minute of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

05 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:10 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:55 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Work Sessions: 10:56 AM - 11:42 AM: I did a few administrative tasks. Work Duration: 46 minutes 04:40 PM - 05:09 PM: I did a little more administrative work. Work Duration: 29 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:16 AM - 10:33 AM: I did one small correction on the product grid page and started to work on the mobile product page. I got interrupted in the middle by a phone call. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 17 minutes 11:50 AM - 01:10 PM: I continued the work on the mobile version of the product page. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 20 minutes 08:11 PM - 09:17 PM: I completed the mobile view for the product detail page. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 6 minutes 09:34 PM - 10:23 PM: I created the mobile view for the search page. Deep Work Duration: 49 minutes @Raphael Courage Raphael, the end of this week is going to be pretty intense. Stay focused & keep it up! Love from your higher self ♥️ Total Work Duration: 5 hours 47 minutes, including 4 hours 32 minute of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

04 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 07:00 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) Work Sessions: 08:37 AM - 09:09 AM: I started my day with a call with my client. Work Duration: 32 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:19 AM - 10:06 AM: I found a proper banner size and removed the ads on the home page. Deep Work Duration: 47 minutes 10:28 AM - 11:57 AM: I'm faced with a new bug. I was distracted and found it difficult to work because there was so much noises outside, I also distracted myself on this forum. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 29 minutes 12:09 AM - 12:43 AM: This bug is still blocking me. Deep Work Duration: 34 minutes 02:28 PM - 04:01 PM: I found a solution to the bug and finally started moved forward again. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 33 minutes 04:10 PM - 04:51 PM: I started to separate the desktop base from the common base for the product grid. I had a bug that's still blocking me. Deep Work Duration: 41 minutes 07:40 PM - 08:33 PM: I continued the work on the mobile/desktop product grid separation. Deep Work Duration: 53 minutes 08:38 PM - 09:29 PM: I completed the mobile view for the product grid. Deep Work Duration: 51 minutes 09:39 PM - 10:08 PM: I started working on the product page mobile view. Deep Work Duration: 47 minutes Even if it seems that I worked a lot today I was way too much distracted. I spent too much time reading this forum and it very badly impacted my productivity. My mind was very blurry and hyperactive while a was working. I'm also going to be very tight on the deadline, I will probably need to brute force it. @Raphael Ok, you were too much distracted while working today, that's the reality, let's accept it. Now, remember the most important thing: Stay Focus, Stay Intensely Focus on your work and you will achieve incredible results. Love from your higher self ♥️ Total Work Duration: 8 hours 6 minutes, including 7 hours 34 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

Me.

Trapped In Consciousness I feel trapped in consciousness, I have zero control of anything that I do. I, as a human entity, is just doing what he needs to do without any control. I'm just somewhere on the path and I'm moving forward like a prisoner of my own consciousness. I don't have the control of what I say, how I move, how I look, how smart I am, how performant I am, how I breathe. I am exactly where I need to be without choosing it. I'm not controlling the words that I'm writing. In fact, these words are creating themselves, they created everything that they needed to appear on this screen and on the screens of others. They created a worldwide infrastructure, computers, sockets, the internet, this forum, Leo, and others, they created a human entity that bought a computer and is using it to write themselves so that they can exist and show themselves to others. All of this without any control. This is just ...

Emotional Blockages I have some emotional blockages within me. Every day, I feel trapped emotion in my body, notably in my torso and a little in my face muscles. Sometimes I have difficulties to speak and articulate what I want to articulate because of past traumas and self-esteem issues.

My Struggles In The Software Industry It's very difficult for me to cope with the business side of the software industry. I really enjoy doing my work, but in a business environment, many times managers and bosses are just obsessed with time and want to go fast. Because of this, they put pressure on workers who then tend to neglect the structure and produce unstable low-quality code. I don't like working like that, it's mindless and dissatisfying work, I don't even have the time to think about the system and how to interconnect its different parts together. I see myself as an artist when I code, I appreciate the elegance and complexity of computer programming and It's very difficult for me to work with people who only want fast results. If we compare a programmer to a classic artist like a painter, he/she doesn't want to paint fast just to sell fast and get money, a painter wants to paint because he/she loves painting. That's the same thing for me with computer programming.

03 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:16 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:40 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:57 AM - 11:02 AM: I had a quick call with my client. Work Duration: 5 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 08:00 AM - 09:25 AM: I initialized the mobile view. I was a little sad during this session and had a lot of negative thoughts. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes 09:48 AM - 10:57 AM: I worked on the mobile view initialization, but I'm encountering some bugs that are blocking me. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 9 minutes 11:29 AM - 12:33 AM: OK. I fixed most of the bugs that I had, I think that I now can start to dive deep into the mobile view. Something strange happened during this session, I was having a lot of negative thoughts about a manager that really hurt me in the past (even though I understand it was unconscious), my body was very contracted, then near the end of the session someone called me, I answered and it was that manager. I freaked out. He needed my new address. That was craziness, life a sending me signs, life wants me to pardon him. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 4 minutes 01:30 PM - 02:09 PM: I continued the work on the responsive view, then got interrupted. Deep Work Duration: 39 minutes 02:32 PM - 03:55 PM: I continued the responsive design work. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 27 minutes 04:05 PM - 04:50 PM: I almost completed the responsiveness on the home page. Deep Work Duration: 45 minutes 07:44 PM - 08:29 PM: I finished the responsiveness for the home page. Deep Work Duration: 45 minutes @Raphael Good job Raphael But stay aware of the distractions notably during the evening and put intense focus on work, it will change your life1 Total Work Duration: 6 hours 19 minutes, including 6 hours 14 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

Language looks more like a tool that we give to children from my perspective. It's so basic that considering it being indoctrination doesn't apply in this case, but telling a kid to not use bad words would be indoctrination similarly to cleaning classrooms.

They are cleaning because the adults told them to clean and are giving them awards in returns. They are not understanding why what they are doing is a necessity as they are only doing it to be seen as "good" by the adults and therefore feel good. It's similar to a religious indoctrination where someone likes to read to the Bible or Quran because he/she gets rewarded by society. A proper way to make them clean consciously would be to let them make the mistake of not cleaning anything and be in a very dirty place that could be dangerous. That way they would not just clean mechanically, but because their mind would comprehend the necessity of cleaning. I guess that's what you mean by positive indoctrination.

@Leo Gura How is this video indoctrination?

02 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 07:28 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:10 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 08:40 AM - 10:14 AM: I corrected some bugs on my client's website. I was distracted because I was listening to Leo at the same time. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes @Raphael It seems like you had a little backslash during the last two days, it's fine, it happens. Hopefully, you take a lot of time off during the rest this day and it calmed you down. You will have an awesome day tomorrow. Love ♥️ Total Work Duration: 1 hour 43 minutes, including 1 hour 34 minute of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

Just A Cute Lizard

Classical Music Is Nice For Concentration

01 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:25 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:40 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 09:25 AM - 10:18 AM: I handled a new user field and corrected some bugs. I was quite distracted during this session as I was sometime browsing through the actualized.org forum. Deep Work Duration: 49 minutes 03:30 PM - 04:46 PM: I corrected some bugs and I think I have an idea to fix the multiple captcha bugs. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 16 minutes I was a little down today and felt some sadness, I procrastinated a lot and wasn't able to work properly. It's probably because I was quite exhausted lately, didn't slept well last two days, and was super stressed out. Total Work Duration: 2 hours 5 minutes, including 2 hours 5 minute of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

Looks pretty healthy!

Both. Yeah, that's what I would define as an healthy masculine role model.

@Preety_India Leo shame people too much in my opinion. Some of his videos that were supposed to help make me more depressed and shameful in the past. This is reflected in this forum because people who follow him will start to act like him which sometimes creates a difficult atmosphere in this place. I agree for Forestluv, he looks super balanced when I read his posts, definitely a role model. I didn't know about Rupert Spira, Adyashanti and Ram Dass, I will check out.

I have cases of toxic masculinity in my family, notably: My dad, I saw him abusing my mom mostly verbally all my life An uncle that used to get drunk after work, go back home, beat his wife with a stick, and then rape her

It's probably not the most toxic example, but I was quite blown away by how dumb some of these guys were playing at times. It's like sometimes they don't want to do any efforts and just say the stupidest thing.