Raphael

I also feel like being too polite is a way to manipulate people, it seems inauthentic for me to be super polite 100% of the time. Super insightful, thank you. I used to practice ruthless honesty most of my life, but I think I did it because I wanted to confront people.

@ColeMC01 @Roy Thank you guys. I used to communicate a lot like Leo, being super direct and add some vulgarity to it. It created more harm than good for everyone including myself as it would come back to my face. This kind of communication is fine for me, but I see that most people cannot handle it. It's also tiring to fight with people because of words that I say rather than discussing the ideas. So I want to simplify my communication as much as I can.

23 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 05:38 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:12 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today @Raphael Good job. Try also spending more time relaxing on Sunday rather than on the computer. Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

@Artsu Actually, I think that this is needed. Change happen internally only if we do the proper things and many of those things are dependent of the external environment. So quitting the family home, exploring new cities, new countries are very important for change.

22 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 05:45 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:15 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 08:12 AM - 08:25 AM: I started the day with a call with my client. Work Duration: 13 minutes 08:31 AM - 09:07 AM: I installed a few stuff. I distracted myself while it was doing the installation in the background. Work Duration: 6 minutes 02:22 PM - 03:50 PM: I assisted my client with some issues. I distracted myself a little near the end. Work Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes 04:12 PM - 04:54 PM: I did a little of the SEO course. Work Duration: 42 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:15 AM - 10:10 AM: They are some fixes that need to be done for the social logins. I started to do them and also had a lot of negative thoughts. Deep Work Duration: 55 minutes 10:25 AM - 11:12 AM: I continued the mobile/desktop division for the social logins. Deep Work Duration: 47 minutes 11:20 AM - 01:15 PM: I continued the mobile/desktop division for the social logins. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 55 minutes. @Raphael Good job again! See, minimalizing efforts and letting work very well. Take care of yourself Love, from yourself ♥️ Total Work Duration: 6 hours 6 minutes, including 3 hours 37 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

Minimalism & Letting Go These two habits are superpowerful and at the same time super simple. Everything is better when I implement them, I'm happier, I have more flow states, I work deeper, I am more productive, more healthy, etc. When I feel the urge to distract myself, I just let go, when I feel difficult emotions, I just let go, when things are too complicated, I simplify them. I just need to stay aware and to keep reminding myself to minimize and let go of the most possible things. Nothing matters and nothing will be lost in the end. The more empty I am, the more authentic I am, the better I feel.

21 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 05:39 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:05 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:53 AM - 11:52 AM: I continued the bug fixed and did a few hosting related tasks. Deep Work Duration: 59 minutes 11:59 AM - 12:10 AM: I had a call with my client. Work Duration: 11 minutes 02:18 PM - 03:39 PM: I continued to work on the SEO course and also did some WordPress configuration. Work Duration: 1 hour 21 minutes 03:47 PM - 04:53 PM: I continued the SEO course. Work Duration: 1 hour 6 minutes 07:37 PM - 07:54 PM: I checkout a bug that my client showed me. Work Duration: 17 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:24 AM - 10:36 AM: I fixed some bugs related to the compiled version on the project. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 12 minutes 12:10 AM - 01:21 PM: I continued to bug fixes. I distracted myself a little. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 11 minutes @Raphael Superb work, you are improving! Continue! Total Work Duration: 6 hours 17 minutes, including 2 hours 23 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

20 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 07:17 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:58 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 11:59 AM - 01:16 PM: I wanted to continue on the SEO course, but got distracted in the middle by a client. Work Duration: 1 hour 17 minutes 02:25 PM - 03:58 PM: I continued the SEO course. The bad network is penalizing me. Work Duration: 1 hour 33 minutes 04:00 PM - 04:55 PM: I had a call with my client, fixed some bugs, and also watch a video about image optimization. Deep Work Duration: 55 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:35 AM - 10:16 PM: I started the day by doing a few fixes on the wait list form. Deep Work Duration: 41 minutes 10:41 AM - 11:52 AM: I completed the work on the wait list. I distracted myself a little. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 11 minutes I almost didn't sleep of the entire night, I was too agitated. I got lazy because of that, took to much time to get started in the morning, and took too long breaks, I also distracted myself too much today. @Raphael Ok, you got a little lazy today, but that's fine. In general you are doing much better than when you started this journal, congratulations! You will wake up early tomorrow and do better, good luck! Total Work Duration: 5 hours 37 minutes, including 1 hour 52 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

19 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:10 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 09:30 AM - 09:47 AM: I had a call with my client. Work Duration: 17 minutes Total Work Duration: 17 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

@Don Wei Here's a taste of what's like to walk in the street as a women

What are examples of healthy masculine role models? What men should young men follow online to inspire themselves and develop as healthy men?

It's super interesting to look at footages of different cultures at the beginning of the last century and compare them to now.

18 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:25 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:45 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 02:02 PM - 03:26 PM: I continued the SEO course. I distracted myself at some moments. Work Duration: 1 hour 24 minutes 04:10 PM - 04:42 PM: I continued the SEO course, I got distracted several times by a client. Work Duration: 32 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 08:39 AM - 10:03 AM: I continued yesterday's work on the masonry view. I had a lot of thoughts. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 24 minutes 10:25 AM - 11:51 AM: I continued the masonry view, but encountered some computation bugs. I also had a lot of unrelated thoughts. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 26 minutes 12:00 AM - 12:44 AM: I completed the masonry view, it looks great, I'm satisfied with the result. Deep Work Duration: 44 minutes 03:32 PM - 04:04 PM: I did some verification a fixed a few bugs on my client's project. Deep Work Duration: 32 minutes Today was a little more difficult than yesterday as I felt more agitation in my body. I also distracted myself a little too much when taking my main break. But globally I was quite productive. @Raphael That's good, continue Total Work Duration: 6 hours 2 minutes, including 4 hours 6 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

I resonate with this. In my previous work environment, I didn't care about competing with people or moving up in the hierarchy, I mostly cared about the well-being of the project. By just caring about the project, I would produce elite work, have and share more insights and in consequence, naturally speak more with the manager and create an emotional connection with him. This allowed me to be closer to the top of the hierarchy and I'm sure that I would get promoted faster than other people if I continued to work in this environment. I didn't even need to play social games or compete even though other workers saw this as competition. It's a little similar to the top kids at school, a kid that is interested and curious will want to do better to understand the different subjects, and therefore, he/she will ask more questions and create a closer/more intimate relationship with the different teachers. The teachers will then help the kid more and the kid will move up the grade hierarchy and have better opportunities in life and the other kids will come to him/her because he/she will be perceived as someone of value.

17 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:36 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:46 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 08:34 AM - 09:38 AM: I contacted the freelancer platform because of payment issues and connected my domain name to the WordPress server. Work Duration: 1 hour 4 minutes 09:55 AM - 10:50 AM: I continued the SEO course then got interrupted by a client. Work Duration: 55 minutes 10:50 AM - 11:20 AM: I had a conversation with my client, but the network was so bad that we continued by text. Work Duration: 30 minutes 11:28 AM - 12:43 AM: I continued working on the SEO course. Work Duration: 1 hour 15 minutes 01:48 PM - 03:33 PM: I continued the SEO course. Work Duration: 1 hour 45 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 03:41 PM - 04:58 PM: I worked on a CSS masonry view. Deep Work Duration: 1 hour 17 minutes @Raphael Good job! You were quite focused today, avoided distractions, and had a lot of empty time. You are getting back on track, continue! Total Work Duration: 6 hours 46 minutes, including 1 hour 17 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

You can try to share ideas and concepts to improve the company or innovate the products or how the work is done, it would help everyone in the company and people will be grateful to you. Being good at something is fine but not enough to move up the ladder. if you can provide insights and new structural changes that innovate and make the company progress and work more effectively, people will perceive you as someone of value and you will naturally move up in the hierarchy and gain success. Concerning the politics and manipulation game, if think it would be better to avoid it as much as possible and prefer straight honest communication. Manipulating each other at work is unhealthy and creates tension within the group.

16 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 07:10 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:40 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)

Make Grand Gestures (from Deep Work: Rules For Focused Success In A Distracted World - Cal Newport) By making a radical change to your environment, coupled perhaps with a significant investment of effort or money, all dedicated to supporting a deep work task, you increase the perceived importance of the task. This boost in importance reduces your mind's instinct to procrastinate and delivers an injection of motivation and energy.

Ritualize (from Deep Work: Rules For Focused Success In A Distracted World - Cal Newport) Build rituals to make the most out of your deep work sessions General questions that any effective ritual must address: Where you'll work and for how long: Have a quiet and specific location Give yourself a specific time frame How you'll work once you start to work: The rituals need rules and processes to keep the efforts structured Without rules, you'll have to mentally litigate again and again what you should and should not be doing during these sessions and keep trying to assess whether you're working sufficiently hard. These are unnecessary drains on your willpower reserves How you'll support your work: Ensure your brain gets the support it needs to keep operating at a high level of depth. Have access to enough quality food to maintain energy Integrate light exercise such as walking to keep the mind clear To maximize your success, you need to support your efforts to go deep. At the same time, this support needs to be systematized so that you don't waste mental energy figuring out what you need in the moment

By Natasha, in How To Deal With Argumentative People?. See Full Post.

I will use this place to share personal random insights on life and other people's insights that I find valuable and wise. I will also share quotes of people from this forum too.

@Opo He almost doesn't look progressive from this list, but anyway, anyone is better than Trump in the current context.

@Opo @Gidiot What does the left like about Biden?

Life Ain't That Bad Sometimes I complain about having a bad life and being in a bad situation, but the reality is that my life isn't that bad. My situation is actually pretty good: I'm living with my family, I have a lot of alone time, I have some work, a lot of nature around me, I meditate, I go to the gym, the country where I live in is fine (OK, I live in Africa, but I live in the most developed country on the continent), I have freedom of speech, clean food, clean water, the place is politically stable, the government took action very quickly on COVID-19 so that we are now one of the only COVID free country in the world. I'm self-actualizing and very grateful to life to know actualized.org, this forum, and the people that I interact with here. Of course, not everything is good, I have personal issues and difficulties too, but globally speaking my situation is fine.

15 July 2020 Wake Up Time: 06:31 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:43 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 12:24 AM - 12:55 AM: I had a call with my client. Work Duration: 31 minutes I almost didn't sleep for this night too, so my brain was quite slow today. I didn't want to work after the previous intense week and preferred to take this day off. I instead did some setup and help my mom with her computer and her phone. Total Work Duration: 31 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes, I'm not reading anything currently)