Raphael

Here's a great example of unity after division.

6 January 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:43 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:25 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 11:10 PM - 11:53 PM I did some small updates on two projects Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 43 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 43 minutes, including 43 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 56 minutes (objective at least 1 hour)

The Goal The goal is true, not winning. If I have to lose who I think I am and all my selfish ideas to get to the truth, I will lose. This apply to all domains of life.

Every day I'm blown away by how underdeveloped the world is, how ignorant 99% of people are, and how many projections, assumptions, unconscious connections are made.

Lol. How about Orange man coup attempt?

5 January 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:50 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:10 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 08:47 AM - 10:37 AM I responded to a client and did some work on his website Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 50 minutes 12:11 AM - 12:28 AM I responded to 2 persons and created a document Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 17 minutes 01:31 PM - 02:39 PM I responded to a person and started to search for guest posting opportunities Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 8 minutes 02:47 PM - 03:25 PM I searched for more guest post opportunities Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 38 minutes 08:27 PM - 08:42 PM I responded to a client and shared an article Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 15 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 10:56 AM - 12:03 AM I responded to a client and did some corrections on a web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 7 minutes 03:31 PM - 04:40 PM I fixed some issues on a web app, uploaded an article, and scheduled it Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 9 minutes @Raphael Great job dude! Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 24 minutes, including 2 hours 16 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 1 hour 5 minutes (objective at least 1 hour)

Parenting Parents I feel like I've outgrown my parents and most people that I met in my entire life (older or younger) in the domain of awareness of psychological/emotional patterns. I can see clearly how many of them fail and what are the psychological patterns in place. Having this kind of awareness makes me feel lonely, I never met someone like me in real life. Only a few people that I met were much more conscious than the average mass without knowing with certitude how conscious they were.

4 January 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:58 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:40 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 09:01 AM - 10:26 AM I sent a message to a client, check out my website, but it was still down. I also started to make some notes on pages that I want to create Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes 10:42 AM - 12:16 AM I worked on an article and responded to a client. This session was a little messy Focus: 3.25/5 Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes 01:16 PM - 02:33 PM I did some research and worked on another article Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 17 minutes 02:41 PM - 04:11 PM I worked on an article and responded to a client Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes 04:18 PM - 04:39 PM I responded to a person and signed up to a service Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 21 minutes Average Focus: 3.35 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 7 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 1 hour 1 minute (objective at least 1 hour)

I saw this comment on Youtube, but cannot find it now. I think that it perfectly describes the situation. Someone should do an angry Hitler version with Trump's voice-over by the way.

Proper Focus Expectations I noticed that my average focus's goal for a week is way too high. It is currently set at 4/5, I'm going to set it to 3.5/5. This is much more realistic, my mind is naturally super explosive and agitated so if I achieve an average focus of 3.5/5 per week that's already a big win for me.

Weekly Statistics (28 December 2020 - 03 January 2021) Total Working Hours 29 hours 43 minutes Average Focus 3.41 / 5 I didn't expected to work this week, but end-up working more than last week. WTF is that... Life is so strange.

3 January 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:43 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:10 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 4 / 5) Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 1 hour 34 minutes (objective at least 1 hour)

Is it as effective as sitting with crossed legs? Currently, my motivation to sit with crossed legs is that it's much more effective than sitting in a chair.

Hey there, I have this problem when I want to meditate while sitting on the ground with my legs crossed. I'm not doing the lotus position, nor even half-lotus, I just have my legs crossed. The most similar position might be sukhasana. After something like ~20 minutes, I feel that it starts to cut blood circulation in my right leg, more precisely at the position of my ankle. I tried to move my leg a bit to avoid this problem, and eventually found a solution, but it's not optimal. I also have a deformity in my legs that cause them to points out, it is a little more important in my right leg. It looks similar to this. I feel like the solution I found to avoid lost of blood circulation is making my leg deformation worse. Do any of you had similar issues?

2 January 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:30 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:00 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 09:41 AM - 10:17 AM I did a few fixes and updates on a website Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 36 minutes 07:34 PM - 08:10 PM I did a small design correction on a website Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 36 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 4 / 5) Total Work Duration: 1 hour 12 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective at least 30 minutes)

Where I Am On The Spiral Red (5%): I have a small red kernel and I sometimes have some hateful thoughts about the world and people. My thinking patterns are a little too impulsives. Blue (10%): I'm still too concerned about people's opinions of me, I lack self-esteem and I'm too shy. My integration of blue is not completed, I have progress to do on discipline and organization Orange (45%): I'm still in the business phase of my life. Making profit, sustaining myself, and becoming rich is my current priority. Green (30%): I made a lot of progress in green this year. I have more compassion, more empathy, and more respect for people emotions. Yellow (10%): I always try to look at things from multiple perspectives, I can see many connections, and I'm aware of many paradoxes and the their necessity. I still have some sense of superiority where I consider that I'm more intelligent than most people and that there's no need to interact with them because they will not understand me anyway. I'm currently very isolated. Turquoise (0%): Not there yet

2021 Books I will try to read at least these books this year: The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime Thick Face, Black Heart: The Warrior Philosophy for Conquering the Challenges of Business and Life Kriya Secrets Revealed: Complete Lessons and Techniques The Secret Power Of Kriya Yoga: Revealing the Fastest Path to Enlightenment. How Fusing Bhakti & Jnana Yoga into Kriya will Unleash the most Powerful Yoga Ever (Real Yoga) Psycho-Cybernetics, A New Way to Get More Living Out of Life Shadow Dance: Liberating The Power And Creativity Of Your Dark Side Spiral Dynamics: Mastering Values, Leadership and Change

What 2021 Is Going To Be About This year is going to be about mostly three things: Business: Continue to work on financial independence by doing freelancing and working on a web application. Strengthening Spiritual Practices: I'm will continue doing 1 hour of meditation per day and will start a Krya Yoga practice. When I'll start Yoga I will alternate my days with meditation/yoga. Self-Esteem: I'm going to start to do some serious work on my self-esteem issues soon. I will start a new practical journal to track my progress this month.

Overview Of The Last Five Years: 2016 - 2020 2016: Existential Crisis I started to meditate during this year, but my solitude was so high and I felt so out of the place in France that I had my first existential crisis. My entire world collapsed and my selfish dreams with it, I realized that the reason I wanted to become a successful rich and powerful entrepreneur was to take my revenge on life against many people who treated me badly in the past. I was angry and wanted to become someone of power to be able to dominate other people. I fell in a deep depression when I realized how selfish I was. I also had this year my first spiritual experience who scared the shit out of me, I felt like I was dying, I wasn't feeling I was looking at myself in the mirror, but just at another human being. 2017: Recovery, Another Experience Abroad, And Fall Again The existential crisis continued at the beginning of the year, but I wanted to evolve and notably become more social. My university had an agreement with another university in the UK to exchange eight students for an internship and I chose to be part of it. As we didn't have a lot of money, we choose to live together in the same house. We had some trouble, but we sorted that out. I worked closely with a local researcher/teacher and a student. I improved my English a lot through practicing, I also for the first time went to nightclubs. I felt good in my group, I was doing things differently, but they accepted myself and I liked it. I was happy during this internship. After that, I went back to France, got my degree and got back to Mauritius where I found another internship. When I got back I realized the psychological gap between people in Europe and people in my native country. I felt like a foreigner in my own native country and many people thought the same. I got bullied a lot in my workplace and I realized how closed-minded people are, they didn't accept any kind of difference. I quitted after three months were I should have stayed at least one year. 2018: Deepest Depression So Far I got back to my parent's house after quitting my job last year and fall into a very deep depression. I was very angry at the world and at my dad in particular. I found another job in another company a little far away from my home, so I had to take the bus and spent 3 hours in public transports every day. I was waking up at 4:30 AM, going to the gym, preparing myself, taking the bus from 6:30 - 7:00 AM and I was back home at 6:00 PM. I also wanted to create my own business, so I started to work in the bus, at night, and during the weekend. At a moment the pressure and all the negative emotions were so high that I exploded and experienced my first panic attacks. Some months after that I chose to live my family house to go live in the same city where I worked to stay away from my dad and stop losing time in public transport. I had some more panic attacks in my little apartment, but find out that I needed to accept an love myself otherwise it would have killed me. Due to my lack of knowledge and experience, the business I was working on collapsed. However, I started to feel better at the end of the year by accepting myself and letting go of the past. I even had some moments of extase where I was blown away by reality. 2019: Resurrection I choose to let go and accept everything during this year, I started to love myself a lot more and accept the unconsciousness of my country. I started to understand a lot of things who pushed me more into stage green/yellow. I felt better and better, happier and happier. I didn't do a lot of things during this year, but I recovered a lot from past traumas. I quit my job and went live back in my family house again, I accepted my dad and its impulsiveness, I started loving things that I never loved before and I started a freelance web development business. I pushed my meditation habit to 1 hour per day, and I felt happier than I've ever been in my life. 2020: Getting Started in the Business World This first year of freelancing have been really rough. I underestimated my self-esteem issues and how rough the business world could be. My personal issues caused me to make ridiculously low amount of money. I finally found some light at the end of the tunnel when I started to get more quality clients and made a first acceptable amount of money last month. I feel better and more assertive than last year as I move further and further away from shitty work environments and shitty co-workers where my role would be to shut up, submit to the authority, and do the work. However, I still have some thoughts about the past that come back again and again. I failed in all my resolutions for this year, but I grew up anyway.

This year was a failure, but I did some progress overall.

Survival: eat -> gain energy to work -> buy food -> eat Any communication: get words from the environment -> share these words -> get other words in reaction -> share these words again Change: dissatisfaction -> change -> new problems created by change -> dissatisfaction -> change again "I hate people, they are always angry against me so I hate them" This is a strange loop I am a strange loop Happiness through materialism: unhappiness -> chase money -> buy something to get happy -> unhappiness again after 1/2 months Thoughts create emotions, then emotions create thoughts that create emotions that create thoughts