Raphael

@Preety_India Thanks, I'm giving you a hug. It looks like we are on the same path for some aspects. We both knows that 2022 is going to be a great year and we are experiencing synchronicities:

I mean radical acceptance of everything: not only what I deny about me or triggers me, but radical acceptance of existence itself. This is loving for the sake of loving.

Ffff...

I have been pretty agitated lately. Can someone who has experience help me understand what is happening?

@Nahm Currently I feel like I'm just going to have my breakfast and go to bed again because I'm exhausted I experience exhaustion.

Because it's going to create more thoughts?

Yes, i'm agitated. Yes, it feels great to feel.

@Nahm Yes.

@Nahm Yes.

Yeah, I have been quite pessimistic many times in my life (I know this is a thought). I don't have suicidal thoughts, they were extremely light thoughts. I'm stable even though I slept less than 4 hours this night just like previous days. I'm overall agitated as a lot of things are changing in my life. I don't feel bored, I'm just sleep deprived. Yes, yes, and yes. But behind all thoughts there is a feeling <- and yes this is a thought too that is the same as feeling. Thought = Feeling.

@Nahm I feel like I did everything wrongly in my life.

Or that I should have done.

Yes, I experienced that a lot in my life. I feel like I didn't do a lot of things that I could have done.

@Nahm Also, at a moment the ego had thoughts about killing himself. It used mechanism such as: It's ok to kill myself It's ok to be nothing It's ok to die It's ok to accept death Etc.

@flowboy I'm curious if you have an opinion if you've checked this journal cause things are a bit crazy for me right now

No... or maybe just a bit... The thing is that I always tried to be perfect by pretending to be a perfect saint who love everything, who never have any emotional reaction, who fit perfectly all people's standards and is never triggered by anything where I wasn't. I just felt the desire to actually accept all of reality this time instead of pretending to accept it. I wrote this in my journal:

@Ulax I just wanted to bring radical/existential acceptance to: Everything that I deny about me Everything that triggers me in the world I don't know if it makes sense but I felt the need to accept all of existence. I didn't expected to do that, I didn't plan to do that, I just started to do that intuitively this week. I wanted to be like a perfect accepting saint who accept everyone where I wasn't so this time I'm actually doing it by accepting all of reality.

What is your opinion in this case? Is it your opinion?

C'est intéressant que tu me parles de perméabilité par ce que je viens de recevoir ça dans mes recommendations. J'ai pas regardé, mais je pense que l'on devrait résoner avec Oui, je pense que l'on s'influence définitivement tous les uns les autres. Par exemple, je sais parfaitement qui lis mes journaux car je croise souvent ces personnes sur le forum et je vois que mes pensées sont partagées, apréciées ou dérangent ou réveillent des traumatismes. Par contre, je suis pas trop sûr de ce que tu veux dire par manière organique. Est-ce que tu peux m'expliquer?

@Leo Gura @Nahm @Etherial Cat I would like your opinions here, please I feel like this can be a classic trap or maybe something that I will be able to understand later.

@Raphael I decided to bring full acceptance to myself. I felt a lot of energy coming from my stomach and then moving up to my head, moving through the left and right side, and then trying to unite both together.

No, they aren't questions nor affirmations. I just felt a lot of emotional baggage and I decided to release everything. I currently feel that my brain is much more "solid" and "united" than before and I also feel some sensations in the left-side of my brain.

@Fearless_Bum Here we go.