Raphael

Yes, I'm an introvert. I'm personally fine coding for ~4 hours per day, however, after 4 hours I feel that I'm starting to overdo it.

@BartekD Even if it was emotionally in your case, what impact did it have on your health? Did you feel like you would explode at some point?

23/04/2021 (Week 13) If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living... I'll take more care of my body I'll try to change my environment I'll try to make more money through freelancing I'll respect my needs more I'll improve my happiness I'll do better in life I'll let go of social medias If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions... I'll search for healthy friends I'll feel better about relationships I'll enjoy more the company of people I'll get more support in life I could be more authentic with people I'll let go of difficult people If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness... I'll do things that makes me happy I'll cover my needs I'll let go of socials medias I'll let go of unnecessary thoughts I'll do a better in life every day I'll see my work as a pleasure I'll work better If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem... I'll accept my current self-esteem I'll work with intense focus I'll say what I want to say I'll do what I want to do I'll do things out of love my living conditions would improve my psychological condition would improve my body condition would improve

23 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:40 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:32 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 01:18 PM - 02:51 PM I worked on Instagram scheduling Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 33 minutes 04:45 PM - 06:14 PM I continued the work on Instagram scheduling, however I distracted myself a bit too much Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 29 minutes 08:34 PM - 09:33 PM I continued working on Instagram scheduling Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 59 minutes I didn't sleep of the entire night, therefore I was tired all day and my work was very chaotic. Average Focus: 3.33 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 4 hours 1 minute, including 4 hours 1 minute of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective at least 45 minutes)

How Can Some People Work 10+ Hours / Day? We all know these stories about people working 10, 12, 14, 16 hours per day for weeks or months. I personally don't understand how something like this is humanly possible. What is the mindset behind this? How are these people able to work that much without exploding? Most of the work that I do is programming which is incredibly cognitively demanding. After 25 - 30 hours, I already feel tired. I pushed it sometimes in the past, however after 40 hours, it becomes too much for me.

Wow, that's an awesome explanation, thank you! So... the key thing about systems thinking is being able to consider many causations and interconnecting them rather than being focused on one single cause?

Exploring Racial Biases: This ... Person Have you ever said something like this: This black guy This black girl This white guy This white girl This arab guy This arab girl This Brazilian guy This Brazilian girl This ... guy This ... girl Why did you do it? If you ever said something similar, that's a sign that you need to inspect your biases. Have you absorbed that from your environment? Did you felt oppressed by some people? Did some people hurt you and you ended up stereotyping? Was it justified or not? Do you have some resentment against some group? In all cases, whether it was small, subtle, or intense, you have some shadow work to do.

Exploring Racial Biases: Noticing Races & Racism of Dad I always saw my dad obsessed with people's ethnicity. For any person, he asks: "What kind of person is this? Black? White? Indian?". When watching the TV, he always looks at people faces and says things like: "That's a black", "That's a Chinese", "That's a Madras", "That a white", "That's a fucking [INSERT ETHNICITY]", "That's a [INSERT ETHNICITY] shitass", "[INSERT ETHNICITY] is a shitty race", "All these people are [INSERT EXTREMELY VIOLENT INSULT]". He is obsessed with people's ethnicity, he often says extremely racist things about almost everybody. This is worst than racism to this point, this is hate of anybody, one day he said that we need to kill all homosexuals and that we also need to beat women. I'm sick of this nonsense. I never cared about people's background most of my life, however, I saw myself noticing a bit more ethnicities in recent years and just thinking: "Oh, that's a ...". I might have absorbed a few tiny bits from my dad here.

Exploring Racial Biases: Biases Vs. Real Social Problems People who have a huge cultural identity often feel threatened by this. Sometimes a critic of a culture isn't racism, but the acknowledgment of a real social problem. Examples: Obesity in the United-States The condition of women in Indian Racism in China etc. All of these are real social problems that need to be addressed. I think that all cultures need conscious criticism and deconstruction, and the actualized.org forum is the perfect place to have these discussions.

That's the thing about my situation, white people are a privileged minority where I live so they developed mostly at stage orange/low green where the rest of the population is mostly at stage blue. Therefore my experience with them has overall been much better than with other groups or with my family. I never got threatened by a white person, no white person ever threw rocks at my dogs or tried to beat them where it happened a lot with people of color. However, I'm conscious that my experience is partial and I guess that it would have been different if I lived most of my life in a white majority country. I got a few questions and some subtle racism while living in Europe, my sister also told me one day that she got insulted by a man while she was standing in the street, the man said full of hate: "BITCH!". I can imagine how difficult it can be to be a person of color living in a white majority country and getting hate and threats just for existing as a human being.

22/04/2021 (Week 13) If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living... I'll try to find a separate office I'll sleep more I'll work without noises I'll do better in life I won't accept mediocrity I'll raise my standards If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions... I'll spend time with more open-minded people I'll be more able to express myself I'll be able to be more authentic around people I'll finally have great relationships I'll enjoy people a bit more I'll get more satisfaction from my relationships If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness... my happiness would increase I would be more motivated to do what I want to do I'll be more enthusiastic I'll do things that make me happy I'll let go of unnecessary thoughts I'll let go of distractions and would be more in the now If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem... I'll accept my level of self-esteem I'll be OK with where I am on the self-esteem scale I'll increase my self-esteem a bit more every day I'll work with intense focus I'll say what I want to say I'll focus more on myself I'll do better in life

22 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:45 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:22 AM - 12:00 AM I implemented a few things on my web app, then had a discussion with a client Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 38 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 08:38 AM - 10:05 AM I did some small corrections on two web apps and schematized some ideas Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 27 minutes 12:53 AM - 02:00 PM I fixed some text on a small app and improved my web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 7 minutes 02:10 PM - 02:48 PM I did some improvements on one of the small web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 38 minutes 04:32 PM - 05:59 PM I started to implement cron jobs on my app's backend Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 27 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 17 minutes, including 4 hours 39 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective at least 45 minutes)

Exploring Racial Biases: Environmental Influence & Spiral Development A few years ago I used to think that everyone was equal, then I discovered Spiral Dynamics and everything started to make sense. People are not equal. They not only have different skills, but they also are not all equally cognitively developed. Western societies are more developed. Most of the countries that have the highest Human Development Index are White majority countries and most of the countries that have the least corruption are also White majority countries. It doesn't mean that they are perfect, some elements actually look pretty bad compared to other cultures, I'm thinking here of: western medicine (antiquated compared to eastern medicine), mainstream western food, spirituality, the fast-paced lifestyle, and the obsession with success and productivity. However, overall they work better and people have more freedom and security. I personally clearly saw the difference when I moved to Europe in the past, everything just worked better. While there, I noticed that people often complained about small things... well... they don't understand how lucky they are and sometimes how ridiculous are the things that they are complaining about. Spiral Dynamics can be dangerous, some people who aren't highly developed can use it to stereotype some specific groups. It's especially dangerous with a racist person who has a lot of influence as a person like this can widespread a message than say that this message is justified by science. The mistake that a racist makes is to attribute some behaviors to genetics rather than looking at environmental circumstances... I think that we have seen enough remarkable people from any background to this point to invalidate the genetic theory. The ability for a person or a group of people to develop properly is dependent on their environment: if a country gets bombed, it's very difficult for people to develop; if a storm destroys a village, it's very difficult for people to develop; if the climate is either too cold or too hot, it's very difficult for people to develop; if it's difficult to get water, it's very difficult for people to develop; if they are dangerous animals, it's very difficult for people to develop; etc. Just the kind of food that we eat has an influence on how our brains and bodies function, poor people cannot always eat healthy and therefore get trapped in a strange loop that causes health problems... Some people are just more lucky than others when it comes to the environment. Those who are born in a difficult environment can get trapped in a strange loop for centuries, and even the ones who have natural talents stay limited by their environment.

21/04/2021 (Week 13) If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living... my life would feel better I'll try to change my environment I'll let go of social medias I won't settle for less I'll develop better self-actualization would be easier If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions... I'll choose more healthy companions I'll cut toxic people I'll discover what it's like to have healthy relationships I'll enjoy relationships about I'll be more open to share about myself I'll feel understood I'll understand that relationships can be great and fulfilling If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness... I'll let go of unnecessary thoughts I'll continue working on my traumas I'll continue making peace with people who hurt me my happiness would increase a bit every day I'll be happier to live life I'll do better in life I'll be more content If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem... I'll accept myself unconditionally I'll work a bit better I'll have more focus I'll increase my self-esteem I'll do better in life my social anxiety would decrease it would create a snowball effect where my self-esteem would increase which then would allow me to take more responsibility for my self-esteem, and improve more and more my self-esteem

21 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:29 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:40 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 09:15 AM - 10:25 AM I worked on Instagram publishing, I also did some research, and communicated with a person Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 10 minutes 10:44 AM - 12:13 AM I had a communication with a client, I distracted myself a bit and started to fix some issues on a small web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 29 minutes 01:19 PM - 02:50 PM I continued the improvements on the small web apps. I wasn't super focused as I was speaking with my sister at the same time Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 31 minutes 04:56 PM - 06:18 PM I worked on Instagram posts scheduled. I distracted myself a bit Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 22 minutes 07:22 PM - 08:05 PM I continued doing improvements on Instagram scheduling Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 43 minutes Average Focus: 3.4 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 15 minutes, including 6 hours 15 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes)

@Rilles By the way, can you explain it a bit for people who don't know about systems thinking? I'm personally interested in learning systems thinking, but I never had the time to do it.

@Rilles The full image URL needs to be used rather than the Imgur post URL.

Fear of Success I noticed that I'm afraid of success which is ironically what I have been working on since the last 3 years. I know that with the competencies that I have I can easily become successful, but this fear is holding me back. I need to let it go. It's OK to become rich and successful. It's OK to be richer than most people. It's OK and it's also a necessity for my self-actualization journey.

20/04/2021 (Week 13) If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living... I'll respect more my timetable I'll improve my organization I'll cut useless things I'll won't settle for less I'll have minimum standards I'll work without noises If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions... I'll cut difficult people I'll open myself to people I'll try to find high-quality people to spend time with I'll spend time online listening to better quality people I'll spend time with authentic people I'll improve my happiness I'll finally feel understood If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness... I'll entertain a positive and proactive attitude I'll open myself to new experiences I'll do things that make me happy I'll let go of unnecessary thoughts I'll let go of things that I don't need I'll create happiness within myself If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem... I'll do things that improve my self-esteem I'll value my work I'll be more focused I'll accept myself unconditionally I'll try to find a better environment as soon as possible my self-esteem would improve

Starting from tomorrow, I will add these items to my daily checklist: Stretching after waking up Cold shower after waking up No social media until 7 PM I noticed that I work much better when I do that. The most difficult thing will be to cut social media, I will have to force it and suffer through it.

20 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:02 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 11:03 AM - 11:55 AM I communicated with a client, continued a bit the tutorial. I don't know why, but I'm very tired Focus: 3/5 Duration: 52 minutes 04:49 PM - 06:15 PM I started to work on Instagram publishing Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 26 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:40 AM - 10:42 AM I started learning about Rxjs Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes 01:23 PM - 02:58 PM I continued learning about Rxjs for a job application, but I'm not sure my competencies will be enough because they are looking for someone who already has some skills with this technology Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 35 minutes 07:30 PM - 08:36 PM Did a few maintenance tasks and work on Instagram publishing Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 6 minutes I'm still dealing with the backslash of yesterday, so it's still a bit difficult for me to work. Average Focus: 3.4 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 1 minute, including 3 hours 43 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective at least 45 minutes)

@Roy I hope.

@Roy I grew up here and lived here most of my life. The opportunities are definitely very limited, many people don't move that much and keep the same job their entire life. It's a nice place to enjoy for a few years and also a relaxing place to retire, in fact many old people mostly from Europe come here to retire. I personally think that it's a good idea to move out a bit and explore the world as we can become very rigid by staying at the same place. Chances are that I'll move out one day, but I need a system to properly handle my family situation. The mindset is not there regarding the environment. Many people simply don't care, some of them are even capable to throw their trash aside of empty bins. Space is previous, nature is precious, but people aren't that much aware of it. What's a medium size city in Canada ? 500 000 - 1M inhabitants ? The biggest city here only have 150 000 inhabitants lol.

19/04/2021 (Week 13) If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living... I'll respect more the rules that I put for myself I'll try to work with fewer noises I'll try to find a small office I'll achieve more in life I'll drop toxic habits I'll only use the actualized.org forum a bit at night If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions... I'll cut toxic people I'll be more open to people I'll try to share a bit more with people I'll try to find people that have high standards I'll find better people I could start to experience with relationships If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness... I'll let go of what I can't control I'll focus more on what makes me happy I'll introduce healthier habits I'll listen more to my needs I'll try to understand better my emotions I'll be a bit happier every day If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem... I'll be more consistent in my work I'll work with more intensity I'll increase my self-esteem I'll bring more radical honesty to what I'm doing in life I'll do this sentence completion exercise with more focus I'll accept myself more

19 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:38 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today I didn't sleep for the entire night and was completely demotivated to work. It looks like I'm in a circle: I'm having a productive week, then a backslash week. Overall, I'm doing much better than when I started a year ago. I was in a bad mental state last, now I can work with good focus. Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective at least 45 minutes)