Raphael

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09/05/2021 (Week 15) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... honor my life honor my wants am responsible for my life open up a bit more share my joy share my authenticity set boundaries say what I want to say do what I want to do

Weekly Statistics (26 April 2021 - 02 May 2021) Total Working Time 25 hours 33 minutes Average Focus 3.47 / 5

09 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 09:00 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today I slept so much lol. I had a deep profound night of sleep. It's maybe because I did a breathwork session yesterday, screamed a lot, cried a lot, and released a lot of emotions. Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes)

@Shin It comes from this.

Showing a face of God.

Nope. Wtf is this?

@Shin On peux dire que je suis à croquer

I only know his name and only watched a few minutes of his content in my entire life. I never felt attracted by videos on him because many of them had clickbait titles and are too popular to feel authentic.

Am I the only one who knows nothing about this guy?

Why do spiritualists have a disdain for psychological theory and concepts? Best thread that I read recently, there's a lot of good information inside. I often noticed this issue with spiritual people of not adressing the problem to where someone is at. However, I recently had an insight from Nahm that brought me some understanding.

About Turning Actualized.org into a Cult Ok. That was maybe a bit too pessimistic. However, I still think that the possibility of actualized.org becoming a cult or at least a light-cult is real. Leo mentioned in his video that he envisaged shutting down Youtube comments and also shutting down this forum. I think that it can backfire because: Newbies who discover actualized.org will have a lot of questions and will have no one to communicate with. They will not communicate with relatives because the information is very radical. Therefore they will be afraid of being seen as crazy and deluded. This will lead to a beginner creating an unofficial online community to communicate and the one who will create it will be seen as the leader. However, this newbie will not be developed and will only get ego boost from other people and will turn into a zen devil. This unofficial community will turn into a cult or cult-like because of lack of awareness. I'm not sure if Leo is aware of this possibility, maybe he is, I can't know with certainty, but it didn't seem to be the case in his video. This looks like a strange loop: by taking so many precautions to not turn actualized.org into a cult, he is actually contributing to the creation of a cult. Here are best case scenarios that I see: Someone will maybe try to create an unofficial community without being a newbie and will do it out of compassion. Nothing serious will happen and Leo will die, but the teachings will still be available and some people will misinterpret them. actualized.org ain't the truth, but a collection of pointers to the truth. Also, collective ego is unavoidable. People will confuse the truth with pointers, this is already the case for some people on this forum. The real question is how much collective ego is tolerable? I really hope actualized.org never becomes mainstream. To stay uncorrupted, teachings have to not being widespread... but Leo recently created a new channel with short video clips to open actualized.org to more people... Some of my concerns can also be selfish because I'm afraid. I don't want this community to die because I'm egoic, because I'm attached to it, and because I grew so much from it by just reading the discussions on this forum. In the end, consciousness will do what is necessary... so we will see how it goes in the next decades.

08/05/2021 (Week 15) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... treat my life as precious and important honor my wants do what I want to do say what I want to say open up stay authentic around people share my authenticity share the funny part of me share my joy share my craziness

08 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:55 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

Not really because most people don't have the money for this, but it would be fun.

07/05/2021 (Week 15) If (when I was young) someone had told me my wants really mattered... I would have honored my wants I would not have being so depressed I wouldn't have hide myself I would have been more comfortable being myself I wouldn't have feel ashamed of having wants I would have been happy to show what I want I would have been more authentic I would have been more motivated If (when I was young) I had been taught to honor my own life... I would have done better in life my life would have been more fulfilling I would have honored my wants I would have taken my life more seriously I wouldn't have fallen into video game addiction I would have fulfilled my needs I would have done what I wanted to do If I treat my life as unimportant... I feel unimportant I feel depressed I have low energy I feel unmotivated I don't want to do what I need to do I let other people decide for me I don't get things done people walk over me If I were willing to say yes when I want to say yes and no when I want to say no... I would have better boundaries I'll do what I want to do I'll say what I want to say I'll be more authentic I'll be more responsible I'll have more control on my life If I were willing to let people hear the music inside me... I'll be more joyful I'll be crazier around people I'll share a bit more about me with people I'll attract more authentic people I'll be more authentic with people I'll make some friends I'll show who I really are I'll be more honest I'll have more integrity I'll feel better If I were to express 5 percent more of who I am... I'll share some of my thoughts I'll share some of my dark secrets I'll do it through my work I'll be a bit more authentic I'll be a bit more needy for people I would do what I want to do

07 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:38 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:00 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:31 AM - 12:20 AM I did some configurations and responded to a client Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 49 minutes 04:23 PM - 06:17 PM I did some server configuration Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 54 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 08:35 AM - 10:00 AM I did some work on a small web app and tried setting up a remote work environment for my personal project's API Focus: 3.75/5 Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes 01:07 PM - 02:38 PM I did improvements on a small web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 31 minutes Average Focus: 3.56 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 39 minutes, including 2 hours 56 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

@Roy As an anecdote, I was swimming when I saw this guy walking with his camera. I was behind him around 2:00 - 3:00, but he didn't get me

@Roy It's fine, you can comment here. Yeah, they are activities related to the beach. I used to go to the beach each Saturday when I was a kid. They are activities like surfing, kit surfing, water-skiing, camping in front of beaches. People don't do sun tanning that much, most of them don't need that. However, I don't think that most people spend that much time on beaches because the country needs to work and for that many other things need to be maintained. We used a see mostly tourists on beaches rather than locals until Covid ended everything. What do you mean here? Hopping literally? lol

What kind of jerk are you talking about? Because they are degrees to this. Where would you put you on a scale from 1 to 10 and what kind of behaviors would that mean? I agree that too much politeness is fake and that it's better to be authentic and express ourselves, but being a total jerk is also a problem.

That's what I noticed too, they are incapable of asserting themselves and only know to obey. And also, these people are not just attracted to total jerks, but also to fake people in position of power who show themselves as kind, caring, polite, and good, but who have some amount of narcissism in them, cannot take any criticism and cannot consider other perspectives.

06/05/2021 (Week 15) If (when I was young) someone had told me my wants really mattered... I wouldn't be ashamed to have wants I would have work for my wants I would have done what I wanted to do I would have been happy to do what I wanted to do I would have felt more motivated I would have been more self-expressive I would have been less depressed If (when I was young) I had been taught to honor my own life... I would have treated my life as important I would have been more healthy I would have shared more my ideas I would have been more joyful I would have been more responsible my life would have been better If I treat my life as unimportant... I don't feel motivated I feel depressed I have self-esteem issues I procrastinate I don't accomplish anything I stay stuck I stay poor I entertain poor relationships I'm not psychologically healthy If I were willing to say yes when I want to say yes and no when I want to say no... I would have better boundaries I would not let others exploit me I would do what I want to do I would cover my needs I would be happier I would achieve what I want to achieve If I were willing to let people hear the music inside me... I'll be more authentic around people I'll share my joyful I'll make some jokes I'll be lightheaded around people I won't be ashamed to be myself I would feel better I would attract more people I would have more friends If I were to express 5 percent more of who I am... I'll speak a bit more I'll open up a bit more I'll share a bit more about my interests I'll would release some thoughts I would be a bit more authentic I'll feel less fearful people would question me more I would attract more attention I would be more open

06 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:48 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:20 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 11:05 AM - 12:13 AM I did some improvements on a small web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 8 minutes 01:39 PM - 02:44 PM I worked on improvements on a small web app, but got stuck Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 5 minutes 04:28 PM - 05:51 PM I continued the previous work Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 23 minutes 07:13 PM - 08:44 PM I'm stuck Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 31 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 5 hours 7 minutes, including 5 hours 7 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

I should have add this nuance to my definition: people with a massive ego and who aren't conscious enough to discuss it and just show it to everyone. It's possible to have a lot of insecurities without being a jerk, show humility, and try to fix the dysfunctions, but jerks aren't able to do that. However when people do that without being a jerk, they are less authentic and therefore less attractive. In most cases humility is inauthentic.