Raphael

21/05/2021 (Week 17) If I were 5 percent more purposeful about my deepest yearnings... my deepest yearnings would reveal themselves I'll be more motivated to work for my deepest yearnings I'll feel more authentic I'll try to find a conscious relationship I'll work with high focus I'll let go of unauthentic needs caused by the need of fitting in society my life would have more meaning If I take more responsibility for fulfilling my wants... I'll work better I'll let myself be I'll assert more myself in life I'll be more able to fulfill my wants my wants would be more authentics my life would be more joyful If I make my happiness a conscious goal... I'll do things that make me happy every day I'll let go of unnecessary thoughts I'll relax more I'll breathe properly I'll seek new experiences my life would be easier I'll take care of my sleep I'll take care of my health I'll continue building healthy habits that make me happy

21 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:57 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 09:16 AM - 10:16 AM I started to deal with Instagram API limitations on the backend. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 10:31 AM - 12:59 AM I continued the work on Instagram limitations. I had some weird thoughts that I'm not going to reveal because they were too weird lol. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes 01:09 PM - 02:40 PM I continued the work to deal with Instagram limitations. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 31 minutes 04:17 PM - 05:44 PM I completed the work on the API concerning Instagram limitations. I uploaded the changes on the development server. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 27 minutes 07:23 PM - 07:59 PM I did small fixes on some small web apps Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 36 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 2 minutes, including 6 hours 2 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours)

@soos_mite_ah I really appreciate your thoughts, thank you.

20/05/2021 (Week 17) If I were 5 percent more purposeful about my deepest yearnings... I'll admit wanting a deep meaningful intimate relationship my life would have more meaning I'll go through my days with more joy I'll let go of unauthentics desire backed by the need to conform society I'll be more connected to my true self I'll be more enthusiastic I'll be more motivated by work I'll be more strict regarding how I spend my time If I take more responsibility for fulfilling my wants... I'll let go of the shame of having wants I'll be focused in the moment to attain my long term wants I'll be properly discipline: work with focus with proper break time my happiness would increase the quality of my life would increase I'll tell the people that I appreciate that I love them I'll acknowledge my want to be social I'll work to fix my social anxiety If I make my happiness a conscious goal... I'll let myself feel how I want to feel I'll relax my body I'll breathe properly I'll let go of unneeded thoughts I'll live with more integrity I'll be open to constructive criticism that can help me growth I'll enjoy life more I'll take things less seriously

20 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:37 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:16 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 12:53 PM - 01:29 PM I had a call with a client. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 32 minutes 01:36 PM - 02:38 PM I fixed an issue, started to do some code review, then noticed things that I forgot in the code. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes 07:22 PM - 07:51 PM I completed a code review and updated the API on the server. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 29 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:18 AM - 08:23 AM I worked on a cron function. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 5 minutes 10:41 AM - 11:57 AM I did more work on the cron and also worked on data deletion. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 16 minutes 04:24 PM - 06:11 PM I improved some small web apps. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 47 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 11 minutes, including 4 hours 8 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours)

Regarding that, I feel like this is the case with people who have a minimum openness for novelty, a minimum self-awareness, and can have an outside look on themselves. In my experience, it has been very difficult to open about myself without getting made fun of, criticized, or attacked. For example, some people criticized me just for eating vegetarian. When they are too deeply immersed in their cultural environment this is very difficult to introduce new ideas. Also, I noticed that moving up a spiral stage is rare, most of the time self-growth happens horizontally within a stage.

19/05/2021 (Week 17) If I were 5 percent more purposeful about my deepest yearnings... I would be more connected to my deepest yearnings my yearnings would be more authentics I would be more aware of my deepest yearnings my purpose would be more connected to my deepest yearnings my life would have more meaning I would be more motivated to work I would be more disciplined If I take more responsibility for fulfilling my wants... I'll recognize having wants I would feel less needy going through my days would be more enjoyable I would feel happier I'll work better as a hole I'll be truer to myself I'll take to make at least one authentic friendship If I make my happiness a conscious goal... I'll be a bit crazy everyday I'll let myself be I'll let go of thoughts that don't serve me I'll continue fixing my traumas I'll breathe properly I'll open up instead of hiding I'll focus on things that make me happy

19 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:40 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 08:19 AM - 09:42 AM I started doing some improvements on my backend API, then got a call from a new client. I felt uncomfortable because clients don't usually find me from my website and call me directly. My social anxiety kicked in in this situation. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 23 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 11:11 AM - 12:06 AM I took some time to check out a function. I have another function to verify. These functions really need to work properly, otherwise, it could cause some issues to clients and damage the business. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 55 minutes 01:07 PM - 02:50 PM Looks like this function is working well too. It wasn't that focused during this session. I just hope that I will not have any performance issues the day it will be deployed. Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 43 minutes 04:04 PM - 05:19 PM I worked again on the previous function. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 15 minutes 05:28 PM - 06:03 PM I started to work on a new cron function. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 25 minutes Average Focus: 3.4 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 5 hours 41 minutes, including 4 hours 18 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours)

Thanks.

Just to say, I read your journal sometimes and I find you very impressive and inspirational. You're doing much better than me when I was around your age! I'm jealous to be honest lol

@StarStruck In my opinion, even if many things are now outdated, the colors still looks much more natural than any games that I saw.

I think that I have shadows at all stages.

Stage Yellow without proper integration of previous stages leads to unhappiness.

18/05/2021 (Week 17) If I were 5 percent more purposeful about my deepest yearnings... I'll be more connected to myself I'll feel better I'll make progress in life my life would feel more important I'll be happier to work I'll become aware of my deepest yearnings If I take more responsibility for fulfilling my wants... I'll feel better I'll cut things that I don't need I'll cut toxic people I'll do what I want my happiness would increase I'll be more disciplined I'll be more authentic I'll feel less needy I'll admit that I have wants If I make my happiness a conscious goal... I'll do tiny things that makes to happy I'll let myself be how I am I won't multitask I'll stop listening to unconscious criticism I'll love myself more I'll be more content I'll be less needy for attention my life would improve with my happiness

18 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:12 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:32 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 09:04 AM - 10:21 AM I worked on some issues on some small web apps and also worked on my backend API. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 17 minutes 10:41 AM - 12:10 AM I worked on the API. My focus wasn't that great. Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 29 minutes 12:59 PM - 02:45 PM I did improvements on some small web apps. I had a lot of unrelated thoughts. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 46 minutes 04:17 PM - 05:11 PM I did some improvements on a few small web apps Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 54 minutes 05:16 PM - 06:03 PM I worked on my backend API Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 47 minutes 07:24 PM - 08:12 PM I did some good progress on the backend API Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 48 minutes Average Focus: 3.42 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 7 hours 1 minute, including 7 hours 1 minute of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours)

I think it can if a Yellow thinker doesn't exercise its mind enough. But, if it happens it's probably because of environmental circumstances. Someone's spiral development will fluctue depending on the challenges that this person is dealing with. I'm currently dealing more with stage Blue and Orange challenges, so I'm a bit less into Yellow than usual.

Let go of the pain before it consumes you.

Jelaluddin Rumi

If think that if people were honest about how they feel, 80% of them would fall down in tears.

I'm thinking about shutting this journal down.

17 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:19 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:18 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 08:25 AM - 10:01 AM I worked on the Instagram schedule cron Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 36 minutes 10:20 AM - 12:02 AM I fixed an issue related to dates Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 42 minutes 01:15 PM - 02:42 PM I did some work on the new cron. My focus was a bit lower during this session Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 27 minutes 04:37 PM - 06:07 PM I worked on scrolling issues on multiple web app. I got interrupted by some drama in the house related to grandma Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes Average Focus: 3.37 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 15 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours)

17/05/2021 (Week 17) If I were 5 percent more purposeful about my deepest yearnings... I'll take relationships more seriously I'll take intimate relationships more seriously I'll listen more to my needs I'll listen more to my wants I'll became aware of my deepest yearnings my deepest yearnings would be more authentics my deepest yearnings would be more connected to my life purpose If I take more responsibility for fulfilling my wants... I'll accept having wants I'll work for my wants I won't listen to criticism of my wants I'll acknowledge wanting relationships I'll acknowledge wanting sex I'll acknowledge wanting money I'll acknowledge wanting fun I'll acknowledge wanting understanding I'll feel more authentic I'll hide less myself If I make my happiness a conscious goal... I'll do small things that makes me happy everyday I'll let myself being a bit crazy I'll work with intensity and create intense flow states I'll seek happiness consciously my happiness would improve my life would be better I'll do better in my life I'll understand better my emotions I'll be happy to be happy

Weekly Statistics (10 May 2021 - 17 May 2021) Total Working Time 31 hours 12 minutes Average Focus 3.4 / 5