Raphael

02 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:12 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:35 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:34 AM - 12:18 AM I got contacted by a client. I did a lot of tiny things. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 44 minutes 01:46 PM - 02:50 PM I started to replace some web apps. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 4 minutes 04:31 PM - 06:08 PM Did some updates on my API, uploaded some files, had a conversation with a coworker. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 37 minutes 07:34 PM - 07:47 PM I just did a few tests. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 13 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 08:45 AM - 10:10 AM I started to work on Twitter scheduling. I also got contacted by a guy who exploited me in the past. I'm careful about working with him, I'll cut him as soon as possible. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 2 minutes, including 1 hour 25 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours)

Failures of Gen Z I'm thinking a bit about where we are going to fail as a generation. Probably when it comes to the integration of previous stages... at a point, many people will realize something like "yeah... my parents were rights afterall (on some stuff)". Wikipedia has a great article on Gen Z: https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Generation_Z And this article looks good too: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/05/14/on-the-cusp-of-adulthood-and-facing-an-uncertain-future-what-we-know-about-gen-z-so-far-2/ but I'll read that later. I think that these points will be recurrent issues within my generation: Social media addiction. Movies, TV Shows, and video game addictions. ADHD. Sleeping difficulties. Lack of discipline and organization. Too low emphasis on the power of individual actions and blaming everything on the external environment. Actually, this is the same thing here, this too low emphasis on individual actions is caused by the environment that many people from Gen Z grew up in. Some people are too spoiled and this is not a healthy environment. To create a healthy environment parent need to create calibrated challenges for kids. A too comfortable environment can even lead to narcissism. Later generations will be built on top of these issues and will correct them as Gen Z is currently addressing issues caused by previous generations.

Gen Z should be called the stay at home gen.

01/06/2021 (Week 19) If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my relationships... I'll have more joy in my relationships I'll see more values in relationships my relationships would be more authentics I would be more authentic in my relationships I'll be more open in my relationships I'll find relationships more valuables my relationships would be more fulfilling If I remain loyal to the values I believe are right... I'll improve my integrity I'll align myself with my purpose I would be holier my psychic would feel less separated I'll do better in life I'll build myself as an organism for societal growth my life would go my way If I refuse to live by values I do not respect... I develop more assertiveness I'll assert myself more in life I'll be better at having boundaries I'll live more for myself I'll have more integrity in life things would go my way my thoughts would be more aligned with my purpose I wouldn't care that much about nonconstructive criticism of me If I treat my self-respect as a high priority... my self-respect would improve people would have more respect for me I'll do things that I care about I'll speak to myself with kindness I'll align with my purpose I'll have more integrity I'll have more honesty I'll be aligned with where I'm at my life would become deeper and deeper, more meaningful and more meaningful, more purposeful and more purposeful, and more and more god-like

01 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:34 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:36 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 07:47 PM - 08:06 PM I uploaded the correction on the server, did some tests... and everything works fine! I'm really satisfied with my work. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 19 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:10 AM - 10:26 AM I worked on Twitter API integration. They were a lot of noises outside, it distracted me. Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 16 minutes 10:53 AM - 12:18 AM I almost completed this Twitter publish API. I got distracted several times on Skype by another client. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes 01:20 PM - 02:45 PM I completed the API to publish on Twitter. I also created the pull request and merged it back to the main branch. I will update the API on the development server after that and also start working on a schedule cron. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes 04:32 PM - 06:08 PM I updated the API on the server, but got an unexpected bug that I corrected. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes Average Focus: 3.4 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 5 hours 34 minutes, including 5 hours 15 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours)

Let yourself experience the emotions to the fullest: feel intensely the stress, cry, scream, jump, run around like a kid.

This forum has some of the most inspiring people that I saw in my entire life and at the same time some of the most depressed people that I saw and who need the most help.

This country is way too limited for personal development, I'll probably move out at a point but I will have to find a way to handle my family situation.

31/05/2021 (Week 19) If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my relationships... my relationships would be more genuine I'll be more open in my relationships I'll have relationships with like-minded people I'll be more loving in my relationships I'll be more honest in my relationships I'll have clear boundaries in my relationships I won't let people walk over me If I remain loyal to the values I believe are right... I'll have more integrity I'll be more whole I'll be more authentic it will be more easily to attract what I want in life my happiness would increase I'll attract high-quality people I'll have an high-quality life If I refuse to live by values I do not respect... I'm improving my self-assertiveness I feel good I feel authentic I'll have more self-respect I won't let people walk over me I'll have more control on my life my life would go the way that I want If I treat my self-respect as a high priority... I'll feel better people would have more respect for me I'll be more comfortable being myself my life would evolve more positively my would life become a high priority life I'll attract people with high self-respect

31 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:41 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:46 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 08:05 AM - 08:42 AM I did some work on Twitter file upload. Focus: 3.75/5 Duration: 37 minutes 08:51 AM - 10:15 AM I continued the work on the API. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 24 minutes 10:39 AM - 12:16 AM I completed the route for Twitter file upload. I experienced a lot of joy during this session. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 37 minutes 01:12 PM - 02:41 PM I made a lot of progress on this API. Also, the happiness that I felt while working was quite phenomenal Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 29 minutes 04:40 PM - 06:18 PM I continued working on integration Twitter API. Focus: 3.75/5 Duration: 1 hour 38 minutes Average Focus: 3.6 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 35 minutes, including 6 hours 35 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours)

Grandma state is degrading day after day. She cannot see, cannot hear properly, cannot interpret things correctly, and have difficulties moving. She doesn't know how to take a shower anymore, she has difficulties eating by herself and going to the toilet by herself. I'm wondering how much time is left... it's probably just a question of months now, it will surely not last more than a year to this point. It's in this kind of situation that mahasamadhi is useful. It's probably the most beautiful way to end life after having lived it to the fullest.

It's incredible how much people are afraid of dogs around me. Many people have dogs but at the same time, they are deeply afraid of them. Many people get paralyzed as soon as they see a dog, they get stuck and cannot move anymore. I also had people throwing rocks or takings sticks as soon as they would see my dogs, some of them did that even when they were leashed. This is ridiculous. There's a general lack of self-esteem in the population, the self-esteem is overall very low, many people live in deep fear.

Hey there, I have some questions about being skinny. I'm a very skinny and tall person and I have been very skinny my entire life. Gyms got closed recently in my country because of Covid and because of that I exercised less regularly and less intensely during the past two months. I also started to eat a bit less recently because I felt that I was eating more than I needed. However, I don't undereat, I eat moderately, I eat what I feel I need. As a consequence of that, I lost some weight. I'm now at 112 lbs for 6 ft (51 kg for 183 cm) which gives me a BMI of 15.2, before I was at 121 lbs for 6 ft (55 kg for 183 cm) with a BMI of 16.4. According to the BMI, I am severely underweight, however, I feel great overall, but maybe just a bit weaker. I enjoy being skinny, it just feels great to be thin and light. Also, when I look at myself in the mirror, I found myself good-looking. I don't feel the need to put 20 - 40 more pounds on my body, I enjoy having a skinny body. I also don't feel hunger, I'm conscious that this is weird to say that but I very rarely felt hunger in my entire life, this an almost unknown sensation for me. Many people have made fun of me for being so skinny in my life and I even had people coming to me to ask me if it was normal or if I was anorexic which is not the case. I very rarely undereat and very rarely overate in my life, it has always being a struggle to gain weight for me even when I would eat more than other people around me. I did gain weight while going to the gym in the past, but never a huge amount. Finally, I started to resonate less and less with the need to go to the gym and to build big muscles. Even if gyms re-open in the future I'm wondering if I'll get back to it or just continue doing some moderate bodyweight workouts at home, which is what I'm currently doing. Is it normal to be so skinny? Should I eat more? Should I continue to exercise with heavyweights like when I was going to the gym? Do I have risks regarding my health?

30/05/2021 (Week 18) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... work on improving my integrity take responsibility to respect my waking up and going to bed times align my thoughts with what I'm doing listen to my body stay as honest as possible give the best that I can in all situations let go of what I don't need work with full intensity choose to live whole choose to live holistically love myself unconditionally accept myself unconditionally

Weekly Statistics (24 May 2021 - 30 May 2021) Total Working Time 31 hours 39 minutes Average Focus 3.32 / 5

30 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:18 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Sunday) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes)

@UDT I'm trying to find my balance here, so I'm not going to quickly change from one advice to another one. If being too skinny can be dangerous for my health and several people are recommending increasing the number of calories, then I'm going to start here first. However, I would appreciate if you could explain more all your recommendations because I do lack some knowledge when it comes to nutrition.

About Recent Events in The Community I want to share some thoughts about Leo, Actualized.org, and the recent suicide of a member of this forum. About Leo, his Rhetoric, and Empathy The first time that I discovered actualized.org I was blown away by how much I resonated with Leo. It was the first time that I resonated that much with someone. I resonated with everything: the ideas, the way he articulates things, the arrogance, etc. I thought: "Finally a no BS guy. Finally someone who cares about the truth, who is willing to dive deep, and who says things how they are even if people don't like it". I especially liked the direct and blunt approach on some videos. It was for the videos from 2014 to 2017, the style has evolved since then. He was like my clone. When you discover someone that is basically your clone you become a bit obsessed with him, but also at the same time this person reveals flaws that are most of the time very difficult to acknowledge without having an outside look on yourself. I only met a few individuals like this in my life and Leo is one of them. With some introspection this year I became aware of another reason why I resonated so much with Leo: he talks like my dad used to talk to me (especially on the forum). I have been annoyed most of my life by how emotional people would get when I would be radically honest and say radical trues. People always looked so dumb to me that I avoided most of them to focus only on me which resulted in me not having any friends, being socially awkward, and not caring about what I would say. The reason why I didn't care at all about the words that I would use with people was that I've been talked down so much that I became emotionally numb to abusive language, especially during late middle school, high school. It caused me an inability to use language properly with people because I would just say what I got. It would cause frictions in social relationships and because of that, I would isolate (they were also other reasons, not only the language but just the fact that I never highly resonated with most people around stage blue/orange). However, I would still live in a society and at one point I would have to interact with a group. When it happened, I started to have so many emotional reactions against my blunt rhetoric (and not only that but just the tone of my voice. I noticed that people are actually more reactive to the tone than the language itself because the tone reflects how we feel and people want to be around people who feel good) that I started to understand that something was wrong. Yes, I lacked empathy many times in my life, I saw people as dumb, irresponsible, and incompetent exactly like Leo. I saw words like "Please" and "Thank you" as useless, I saw kindness as a weakness because I was overly logical and lacked love. I've put myself on a pedestal, but at the same time, I was sad because nobody would relate to me. If these painful relationships and strong emotional reactions against my language helped me in some way is to become more authentic and to bring back the empathy that I lost after being so much verbally abused. I became aware that most people aren't overly logical and cannot handle directness, but I also became aware that I lost a part of myself a long time ago. I remember being hypersensitive as a kid and crying more easily than other boys, I then lost this hypersensitivity because it was too overwhelming and choose to repress emotions, I'm now connecting back to this hypersensitivity and expressing emotions again. What helped me in bringing back empathy to my life was to remind myself of being talked down to and of being disrespected, and to feel the pain that I felt and at the same time to feel the pain that others feel. I think that empathy needs to be more cultivated on this forum. Many times we don't realize when we are in pain and we don't know that we cause our own pain. Many times we are stuck in strange loops of our bodies and our minds. If you highly resonate with Leo, I'm suggesting you to analyze the relationship that you have with him. This relationship might be a bit more traumatic than you think it is. About Actualized.org Spiral Development There has been a huge evolution of Actualized.org level of consciousness. It started with stage Orange and progressively moved to Green, Yellow, and now Turquoise. However, even if the material is very advanced I feel that there is a lot of stage orange on this forum especially in the dating subforum... and it makes perfect sense. Some of the most popular videos are videos from 6 - 7 years ago and some of these videos are videos about relationships like: "How To Make A Girl Squirt - Give Your Girl An Explosive Orgasm", "How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You - What Girls Really Want", "What Women Want In A Man - 5 Factors That Hook Women Like Crack", "How To Have Amazing Sex (For Women) - Drive Your Man Wild In Bed", "How To Be Attractive - The Ultimate Attraction Strategy", etc. My intuition is telling me here that even if these videos are old they are still getting a lot of views compared to recent videos because everyone is so obsessed with sex. I remember the video "How To Make A Girl Squirt - Give Your Girl An Explosive Orgasm" having 1M views a few years ago, but now has more than 2.2M views. It means that it received more than 200K views in a few years which is a lot of views compared to recent videos. My intuition is also telling me that as there is some stage Orange in these videos, a certain number of people who watch them want to learn more and therefore join this forum mostly in the hope of getting advice to get laid. I think that people who watch these videos are mostly inexperienced or people who want some advice but also include a subgroup of desperate virgins who are mostly men because Leo is a man and often has a very masculine approach which they relate to. This makes the dating subforum particularly low conscious. Also, Leo is a very sexual person and often makes references to sex and people sometimes take that literally, copy him because he has a lot of influence, and therefore contributes to low consciousness. The previous point now brings me to spirituality. I feel that there is a stage Orange approach to spirituality in this community and that Leo has a stage Orange mindset towards spirituality. I don't read the Meditation, Consciousness, Enlightenment, Spirituality subforum that much because I'm more concerned about basic stuff, but I sense some competition here. I remember people comparing how enlightened they are in the past. Competition can be healthy in some situations but doesn't apply to enlightenment because enlightenment is deeply personal. I see this issue with young people around my age. If you are around my age (or younger), here's my advice: there is no need to compete for enlightenment, having a basic foundation is more important. I think that the balance for young people should be around 70% basic stuff, 30% spiritual work. Spiritual work is important, but diving into it too early causes issues because it doesn't have a solid base, yet it can help with building the foundation if targeted properly on specific issues. There is no need to go deep for someone who doesn't even have a proper base in life, there's no need to do long meditation retreats, psychedelics, or similar things, yet a bit of spirituality is healthy (a bit of meditation, a bit of introspection, some shadow work, etc.) and brings balance to the process which is why I consider the 70/30 ratio as ideal. There is a lot of stage Orange here, stage Orange hiding behind other MEMEs, stage Orange competing to be seen as Green, or Yellow, or Turquoise. I'm not immune to that, I also did it to some degree to be honest, but it's important to be aware of it. About Actualized.org Clips Leo recently created a new channel called Actualized.org Clips which contains small segments of his long videos. My opinion on that is mixed. On one hand, I think that it's great to open Actualized.org more because it has the potential to help a lot of people, but on the other hand, the fact that the teachings are now so advanced makes them difficult to understand for beginners. I personally didn't know about spirituality when I discovered Actualized.org, however, the videos weren't as advanced as they are now, and because of that, I was able to follow through. Nevertheless, I acknowledge that I did create some beliefs in the past, so I still need to be careful here. About Newcomers I think that there should be a system in place to handle beginners, something like a warning at the beginning of the videos (for both Actualized.org and Actualized.org Clips channels) or a link that would point to a video (or a set of videos) specially designed for beginners so that they don't go down the wrong path. Also if moderators could welcome new members and ask them a few questions to understand where they are in life, it could guide them and help to maintain a healthy community. Finally, an effort needs to be made from Leo and moderators to make the advice more nuanced rather than saying things like: "You are god!", "Life doesn't matter", etc. because people can take things too literally. This is what I think happened with the recent suicide, the member got brainwashed from interacting with the community to the point where he thought that suicide doesn't matter because everything is imaginary and can be a proper way to enlightenment. About Responsibility The original response to the suicide really felt like a stage Orange company that declines all responsibilities. Like a tobacco company that claims to not be responsible for causing cancer to countless people. Sure, the material is completely different and is way more healthy than what does a tobacco company, but the way of handling responsibility is exactly the same. I think that Leo has some stage Orange shadows in him. When there is an exchange between two people responsibility is always shared, no one has 100% responsibility where at the same time the other person has 0% responsibility. How Leo communicates the material is important, how he communicates on the forum is important because he has a lot of influence and many people can take him literally. That's the problem with all religions, people get brainwashed, and that's what is happening here too. "God" isn't God, but just a pointer. Saying "You are God" isn't being God. I'm personally aware that I have the belief that I am God, I sure experienced some awakenings in the past, but for the moment the fact that I am God is only a belief because I didn't fully verify it. I'm just a believer of Leo here, it's important to be conscious of that. Even if it has been said many times that Actualized.org is not an ideology some people are getting brainwashed anyway and are confusing the map for the territory. To end up, I don't consider that the suicide is mostly Leo's fault, yet he does have some responsibility.

@Michael569 Yes. I implemented some of your advice but didn't increase the number of calories. I just started doing that today by eating more carbs for breakfast.

@Gregory1 Thanks for your advices

29/05/2021 (Week 18) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... take responsibility to improve my integrity focus on creating a quality life let myself be authentic be as honest as I can while still considering what is possible to talk about with people align my thoughts with what I want or what I'm doing put full focus in my work love myself unconditionally

29 May 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:31 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:06 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 01:49 PM - 02:53 PM I did some work on my API. I also distracted myself a bit. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 4 minutes 04:45 PM - 06:15 PM I did some progress on the API. I also distracted myself too much. Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes Average Focus: 3.25 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 2 hours 34 minutes, including 2 hours 34 minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes)

Yeah, I think I do have less energy than average people and I'm also easily drained by loud noises. Was it difficult for you when you started to force it? When I forced it in the past, it felt very difficult and unnatural.

That's maybe the reason why my bones are thinner than average people.

I'm 24 and I have been very skinny all my life. I've never tried breathing and body connection. Here's what I currently eat: Breakfast: a smoothie consisting of half and avocado, blueberries and 2 dates. + a cup of oats + a handful of cashews nuts + some almonds 10:00 AM: a fruit (apple, or mandarin, or banana) 12:00 AM: a meal with brown rice + 2 vegetables + 3 eggs or fish + a kiwi. The meal size looks similar to this meal, just imagine having some eggs or fish on top of that 04:00 PM: a fruit (apple, or mandarin, or banana) 07:00 PM: a meal with brown rice (but a bit less than at 12:00 AM) + some grains (lentils, chickpeas, green peas, etc) + 1 or 2 vegetables + some lettuce + black chocolate