Raphael

22 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:17 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:56 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 09:21 AM - 10:35 AM Did some research, some schemas, and responded to a person. Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 4/5 Deep Work Sessions: 10:56 AM - 12:15 AM I did some tests and found some bugs. I also distracted myself a bit. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 2/5 01:24 PM - 02:32 PM I continued correcting bugs on the publisher interface. I think everything is fine now. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 04:16 PM - 06:03 PM I'm currently changing something on the date time selection popup. I did some good progress, but also had a lot of unrelated thoughts. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.75/5 07:02 PM - 08:26 PM I did some work concerning time handling in the date time picker component. Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 3.75/5 Average Focus: 3.6 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.4 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

21/06/2021 (Week 22) Sometimes my child-self feels rejected by me when I... suppress my emotions don't let him express himself suppress my joy suppress my creativity don't allow myself to be curious don't listen to my intuition Sometimes my teenage-self feels rejected by me when I... don't express my anger suppress my ambition don't try to understand him isolate try to do everything my myself don't listen to my emotions One of the things my child-self needs from me and rarely gets is... security reassurance acceptance understanding containment love One of the things my teenage-self needs from me and hasn't gotten is... love support encouragement understanding touch emotional connection One of the ways my child-self gets back at me for rejecting him/her is... sadness anxiety repressed emotions neediness the need for attention closing himself One of the ways my teenage-self gets back at me for rejecting him/her is... wanting revenge by being addicted to information not wanting to take action lack of motivation lack of social connection fear by shutting down

21 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:32 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:45 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 09:39 AM - 10:54 AM I did some progress on handling file limitations on the publisher interface. I also found some bugs Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 11:22 PM - 12:36 PM I continued the improvements on handling the file limitations. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 01:35 PM - 02:45 PM I continued the previous work. Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 3.5/5 04:43 PM - 06:01 PM I almost completed the publisher interface. I also had a lot of unrelated thoughts. Focus: 3/5 Progress: 3.5/5 07:19 PM - 08:44 PM I did some good progress on error messages on the interface. Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 4/5 I'm getting a bit lazy in the morning. I'm spending more time laying in bed as it's getting colder outside. Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.6 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

@RendHeaven It'll come. This realization opened a goldmine of insights in me. I just need some time to think through it more and organize the ideas. @Preety_India Nah, cause I'm an Aries.

20/06/2021 (Week 21) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... let my younger selves express themselves let go of repressed emotions from my childhood let go of repressed traumas from my childhood let myself being completely vulnerable nurture my younger selves provide containment to my younger selves build back the relationship with my younger selves support my younger selves give my hands to my younger selves

Weekly Statistics (14 June 2021 - 20 June 2021) Average Focus 3.47 / 5 Average Progress / Session 3.56 / 5

20 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:47 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:19 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Emotions are logical. I'll even go as far as saying that emotions = logic.

You are an awesome reader.

@Raptorsin7 I'm only doing this sentence completion exercise for the moment. The program has several weeks dedicated to the inner child. Apparently, in another book How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden talks more about integrating younger selves, but I didn't read the book so far.

Lolololololololooooooooooooooooooooool!

Expressing Gratefulness I think that I have been way too pessimistic most of my life. Some stuff definitely sucked, but I also have gratitude for many things. Gratitude for external things and also gratitude for myself and some choices that I made. It's time to express it, so here we go: I'm grateful for being born in a developed country. The country where I live is not a first-world nation, but also not a third-world nation. The level of development has been high enough to allow me to attain at best some elements of stage Yellow and Turquoise. I feel safe and have all my physical needs covered. I'm grateful that I never saw that much physical violence. I'm grateful that I never got a lot of racism. I'm grateful that I evolved in very multicultural environments. I'm grateful for the quality of education that I had access to. I had access to a stage orange/green education while growing up which is a very rare thing considering the overall level of development of the world. I'm grateful for understanding English. It is allowing me to connect with people from all around the world. I'm grateful for being mixed race. It played a huge role in my life and in my ability to perceive the world through different lenses. I'm grateful that I traveled a bit in my life and lived in different countries. I plan to do this more in the future. I'm grateful for having healthy food. I'm grateful for having water. I'm grateful for being healthy. I'm grateful for having an awesome mother. I'm grateful for having an awesome sister. I'm grateful for having some dogs that I love. I'm grateful that I have been wise enough to never smoke anything, to never get drunk, and to never try drugs. However, I'll probably try psychedelics in the future if I get access to them. I'm grateful for not having any strong addictions. I'm grateful for having a good-looking body. I was very insecure as a teenager because I was very skinny and got a lot of criticisms on that, but I personally don't care anymore. I'm still skinny as an adult and I'm really enjoying it. I had older women telling me that I was really good-looking and asking me if I had a girlfriend. It didn't happen that much with girls around my age, I assume that most of them are shy and pretty conditioned by society concerning what a young woman should say. Some people have told me that I attract a lot of girls' eyes, so being skinny doesn't matter that much when it comes to attraction. I'm grateful that I found actualized.org. I'm grateful that this forum exists. I learned enormously by just reading the conversations. I'm grateful for the presence of some awesome members on this forum. I'm grateful for my open-mindedness. I'm grateful for the sophistication of my thoughts. I'm grateful for my capacity to self-reflect. I'm grateful for my psychological evolution since I discovered actualized.org. I'm grateful for my very high intuition. I'm grateful and proud that I discovered meditation by myself thanks to my intuition. I was 18 the first time that I meditated. I didn't know about meditation, but I intuitively felt that if I just sit down with my eyes close and my hands on my knees it would help me. I did it, this was my first meditation and it was awesome. I'm grateful for my ability to notice my biases and correct them. I'm grateful for my financial and working conditions. I make enough money to sustain myself while putting in less than 30 hours (or even less than 20 hours many times) of work per week. I work as a freelance web developer with clients from all around the world. I can work from anywhere on the planet and still sustain myself. If I ever want to move to an expensive place, I can just increase my prices. I'm grateful that I like my work and didn't choose it just because I wanted to have a stable career, but because I was interested in it. Programming is a field that combines logic, intuition, and creativity. It allows me to exercise my left brain and right brain at the same time. I consider that it had an enormous impact on the sophistication of my mind. I'm grateful for a guy that I met on this forum and who helped me getting started as a freelancer. I'm grateful for my privilege of having so much time to be alone by myself. I'm grateful that I found Spiral Dynamics. I'm grateful for my understanding of the world through Spiral Dynamics. I'm grateful for so many things and I'm especially grateful for the quality of my life. Many times and despite difficulties, I feel privileged for having the life that I have. Life is incredible, amazing. Life is a wide range of emotions, a wide range of experiences. Life is a privilege. Life deserves to be lived deeply, fully.

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19/06/2021 (Week 21) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... let myself being vulnerable let my younger selves express their emotions take care of my younger selves communicate with my younger selves build back my relationship with my younger selves accept my younger selves love my younger selves

19 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:41 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:22 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Working with my younger selves is making me cry.

I think that these videos can be quite relevant to this discussion.

How about being a journalist and working for a high quality journal? You could write about social issues and help raise awareness. Also if your writing is really good, you'll be seen as valuable and will get a good pay. Definitely avoid a regular corporate job btw. I've been there and it's really depressing.

18/06/2021 (Week 21) If my child-self felt accepted by me... he would trust me he would open up to me he would share his fears he would like me he would feel comfortable with me he would communicate with me If my teenage-self felt I was on his/her side... he would explain to me the source of his anger he would explain to me the source of his frustration he would have more courage he would be more motivated he would push through difficulties he would unleash his creative power he would show his vulnerabilities he would feel supported he would be happier he would communicate with me If my younger selves felt I had compassion for their struggles... they would share with me their difficulties they would trust me more they would love me more they would feel comforted they would feel reassured they would be better nurtured they would feel more secured If I could hold my child-self in my arms... he would feel reassured he would trust me he would be more comfortable with touch he would be less sad he would feel protected he would open up more to me If I could hold my teenage-self in my arms... he would feel secure he would feel that he can share he would feel understood he would cry in my arms he would let me know the source of his pain he would feel accepted If I had the courage and compassion to embrace and love my younger selves... they would love me back they would be more functional they would be more properly nurtured they would feel great they would communicate better with me we would play together we would trust each other we would feel protected we would walk holding each other arms we would become one

18 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:42 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:31 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:13 AM - 11:00 AM I mostly spent time communicating with a client. I also distracted myself a bit too much. Focus: 3/5 Progress: 3/5 Deep Work Sessions: 11:22 AM - 12:33 AM I did some improvements on handling files limitations on my app. Focus: 3/5 Progress: 3.5/5 01:44 PM - 02:44 PM I continued the work on handling file limitations. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 04:35 PM - 06:03 PM I continued the progress on handling file limitations. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.75/5 07:30 PM - 09:04 PM I continued working on handling file limitations. I also added a play icon on the small video thumbnails. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 I felt down today and emotionally quite agitated. It's maybe caused by the fact that I blocked this forum almost entirely. My mind feel the need for a dosage that it cannot have. Average Focus: 3.3 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.55 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Your journal is amazing! I hope you'll find an awesome partner

17/06/2021 (Week 21) If my child-self felt accepted by me... he would cry when he wanted to cry he would express all his emotions he would trust me he would communicate with me he would open up he would express his thoughts he would express his creativity If my teenage-self felt I was on his/her side... he would trust me he would be less angry against me he would have more courage he would feel less motivated he would feel less alone he would open up to me he would let me know how he feels If my younger selves felt I had compassion for their struggles... they would feel nurtured they would share with me they would trust me more they would share their deepest fears with me they would accept me more they would respect me more they would express themselves If I could hold my child-self in my arms... he would cry in my arms he would share his insecurities with me he would feel protected he would feel some support I'll feel more responsible he would love me If I could hold my teenage-self in my arms... he would explain to me the source of his anger he would explain to me the source of his pain he would feel comforted he would feel supported he would feel less alone he would open up to me he would cry in my arms If I had the courage and compassion to embrace and love my younger selves... we would have better communication together they would get the support that they need they would share their deepest concerns we would all cry together we would stop fighting together and start understanding ourselves we would make peace together we would grow together we would walk together holding each other arms we would unite and become one powerful entity

17 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:10 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:35 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 09:43 AM - 10:49 AM I worked on an interactive map. I wanted to work more on my app, but I got interrupted. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 11:09 AM - 12:03 AM I'm currently having some issues integrating AMP. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 01:27 PM - 02:42 PM I did some progress concerning AMP and Javascript communication. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 04:22 PM - 05:46 PM I continued the previous work, but I feel like there is too much limitations with AMP which will cause this issue to be unresolved. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 07:22 PM - 08:47 PM I did some progress on the publishing interface of my app. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.7 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Some French Songs I love these French songs. Take some time to appreciate some beauty.

Judging from the Lower Self vs. Judging from the Higher Self Judging from the Lower Self: backed by fear, often flawed and miss the big picture Judging from the Higher Self: backed by wisdom, very accurate and understand the big picture