Raphael

It's funny because growing up I had highly toxic masculine examples which cause me to defend more the "female side". Have you ever felt something like this before? I feel like this is something that can happen at stage Green.

INTP in Relationships Some points of the MBTI concerning INTPs and relationships really resonates with me. However, the fact that INTPs are considered to be unemotional robots resonates less than it used to. I made a lot of progress in the past five years regarding my emotions and feel much more open than before in this area. Most compatible types: INTP, INTJ, INFP, ENTP, ISTP, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFP. https://www.16personalities.com/intp-relationships-dating https://www.truity.com/personality-type/INTP/relationships

Makes perfect sense! But I think that doing exercises such as this one can be the first step before taking action. Sometimes going directly for the action can be a bit too difficult therefore a bit of positive psychology and mental de-conditioning is important.

I noticed that when I'm becoming 50/50 balanced between masculinity and femininity I feel like my brain is going to have an existential crisis.

My brain is shifting between masculinity and femininity when I read threads like this. The boy inside me agree with other boys and the girl inside me agree with other girls, but how do I balance things out? This is really tricky sometimes for me.

Awesome advices @RendHeaven

This forum is in a horny phase. It's time to organize an actualized orgy.

Thanks The exercise is working, I definitely have more self-esteem compared to when I started. I also started to work on my traumas and it helped in this area. However, one thing that I didn't do enough is challenging myself more by doing things that I'm not comfortable with. I'm sure I'll get some self-esteem boost that way and I'm sure that you noticed that too.

19/07/2021 (Week 26) Sometimes when I am excited I... have a big smile feel like a kid want to jump want to share talk to people feel more social Sometimes when I am turned on sexually I... dream about having a partner watch porn dream of sex cannot work properly cannot sleep properly I feel that my needs aren't covered Sometimes when I experience strong feelings I... I try to hide them am a bit ashamed of them become shy would like to be more authentic about them am afraid of sharing them have difficulties handling them If I make friend with my excitement... I'll share my excitement with people I'll let the kid inside me being excited I'll let my face show its excitement I'll admit having strong emotions I'll become more authentic I'll share my happiness around me If I make friend with my sexuality... I'll be more in touch with my sexuality I'll be more open about my sexuality I'll be more sexual I'll try to find a girlfriend I'll see myself as worthy of having sexual intercourse I'll be more comfortable I'll be more authentic As I grow more comfortable with the full range of my emotions... I understand that I need to self-express I understand that I need to find healthy ways to express difficult emotions I see that I can become much more social just by sharing my emotions I understand my emotions better I'll be more in touch with my emotions I'll become more authentic

19 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:25 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:21 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 11:07 AM - 12:19 PM Called the revenue authority, but didn't get help. Internet is cut everywhere, this is very limiting because I cannot test things properly nor get help. Duration: 1 hour 12 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 Deep Work Sessions: 03:15 PM - 04:22 PM Internet is still cut, but I'm still making progress. I worked on the front-end interface in the session. Duration: 1 hour 7 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 04:39 PM - 06:22 PM I did a lot of progress on the calendar interface. Duration: 1 hour 43 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 07:32 PM - 09:05 PM I continued the good progress on the calendar interface. Duration: 1 hour 33 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 09:10 PM - 09:46 PM More progress on the calendar interface. Duration: 36 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 6 hours 11 minutes, including 4 hours 59 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.8 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

18/07/2021 (Week 25) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... practice mindfulness as much as I can observe myself carefully scream more breath deeply and slowly more slow down focus on the moment find the source of my pain resolve the source of my pain

Tough week due to a health issue.

Weekly Statistics (12 July 2021 - 18 July 2021) Total Working Time 23 hours 12 minutes Average Focus 3.54 / 5 Average Progress / Session 3.61 / 5

18 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 09:00 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:55 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 11:53 AM - 01:07 PM I created an API to get scheduled Instagram posts. Duration: 1 hour 14 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 07:21 PM - 09:12 PM I created an API to get scheduled Twitter posts and an API to scheduled posts on Facebook. Duration: 1 hour 51 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 4/5 09:31 PM - 10:04 PM I just did a few fixes. Duration: 33 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 Total Work Duration: 3 hours 38 minutes, including 3 hours 38 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.58 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 4 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

thefemininewoman.com This blog is an awesome dating resource for women. It can be used for women to help them find high-quality partners and for men to understand the female perspective and develop as a high-quality man who fits high-quality women's expectations. https://www.thefemininewoman.com/

I discovered this blog this year. It contains a lot of quality dating advices for women. It can be useful for some of you. https://www.thefemininewoman.com/

17/07/2021 (Week 25) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... observe myself carefully accept that this is OK to feel how I feel express how I feel in a healthy way search for a solution for my difficulties search for the source of my difficulties slow down my pace

17 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:24 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:47 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ❌ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ❌ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ✅ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today My sleep is getting worst and worst every day. I didn't sleep of the entire night, I also still have this pimple in my ear which causes me to be deaf from the left ear. This day was a total disaster. Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Often time when I read about issues between men and women, I just see classic ideological battles. Men and women throwing their perspectives at each other without making that much effort to understand the difficulties of the other gender. Many times it looks worst than politics and it happens from the level of a simple relationship to the collective level. One side cannot be well while the other side isn't well. Men and women are deeply interconnected and both genders have difficulties that affect their own gender and the other gender. Relationships are perhaps the best example of two paradoxical sides of the same coin trying to work together.

About Genders Perceptual Discrepancies: Difficulties of Women The world is much less safe for women compared to men. Women have to deal with a lot of sexual harassment. Unrealistic beauty standards from society. Also if a woman is a woman of color, the mainstream western white beauty standards can cause a lot of self-esteem issues and some women may use skin-lightening products. Being only valued for physical appearance. If a woman is doing great in other areas of life, this is less acceptable. Oppression from the other sex. Lower salary even if a woman is doing the same job that a man does and generates the same results. More risks of sexual assaults compared to men. Having to deal with an unwanted child when abortion isn't possible. Pregnancy and giving birth to a child. Periods. Being attracted to men, but at the same time having to be very careful of men. Much more sex-shaming compared to men. Many times, it's not OK to be sexually open as a woman. Wanting a genuine relationship, but only finding guys who want nothing more than sex. Much more chances to be abused in relationships. Again, I'm sure that they are more issues, but I don't have the time to do more research.

About Genders Perceptual Discrepancies: Difficulties of Men Very high expectations from society. It creates unnecessary pressure and backfires. Low emotional support. Weaknesses are badly perceived. Not being interested in sports or other physical activities is badly perceived. A man's value is based on results and men who aren't able to achieve results get low support and are shamed. A lot of competition to be seen as the best result maker which causes health issues. Much more chances to die at the workplace because many men have more dangerous jobs compared to women: being a police officer, being a firefighter, etc. Higher suicide rates. Lower life expectancies. Lack of services for male victims of domestic violence and rape. They are much more man in jail than women. Also, men spend more time in prison compared to women for the same crime. Dealing with enormous rejections from women. Approaching women can cause suspicions even when its genuine. I'm sure that they are more issues, but I don't have the time to dive deep.

Interesting thread. Also, many times we associate abusive relationships with intimate relationships where it is not necesserely the case. Abusive relationships can be anywhere: in families, with friends, in working environnements, etc. I personally experienced manipulations and pressure in work environnement and within my family.

I feel that the day where I will be able to talk to my dad and handle him will be the day where my personal development will skyrocket. Everything will skyrocket: confidence, assertiveness, responsibility, self-esteem, business, relationships, relationships with the opposite sex, etc. This is a very tough challenge for me, the most difficult challenge of my entire life, but if I overcome it, it will be as if I overcame the world. My dad is the thing that I am the most afraid of. Tier 2 thinking isn't hard, enlightenment isn't hard, but me being able to talk to him and handle him is the hardest thing that can possibly exist. I noticed that I'm am way overdramatizing the situation. My dad is an old man now, so he cannot actually do anything to me and the older he gets, the more dependant he gets. The power dynamic is changing, he is losing his power where I'm getting into power. I noticed that I'm the only one in the family that cut him at 99%. My mom and my sister are capable to talk to him where I am not. Sure, they don't have very conscious conversations, but they still talk to him a bit. Maybe my attitude towards low conscious individuals — which is cutting them immediately — is the cause of this fear, this can be a healthy way to deal with low consciousness, but it can also prevent me to grow because I currently know nothing (except rage) from the man who created me. I have a huge emotional baggage against him, I think that I'm afraid of what would happen if I try to talk to him. I always had the feeling that I got it harder than my sister because my sister is a girl and therefore my dad would lash out more at me. I don't remember my dad talking down to my sister where it happened a lot to my mom and me. My dad sees me as dumb and weak, he doesn't even know what he did to me, he is not conscious enough for that. He is the complete opposite of me, he is an ENTP or maybe ENTJ where I am an INTP. He is tall with a large and muscular body, extroverted, energetic, loud, confident, fast, hyper dominant. I am tall with a skinny body, introverted with low/average energy, intellectual, calm and slow, not hyper dominant. Maybe the most growth that I can get in my life is not from seeking an external environment, but from overcoming the biggest challenge of my entire life? Maybe by integrating the ruthless man who raised me, by integrating Red. By confronting him like he confronted his own dad (who was an alcoholic who beaten him without mercy). The circle repeats itself, I just need to be careful to break the chain if I ever have a kid. I think that this is feasible. I can use him for my personal growth. I can start small with just a few words, then open up more, then have some longer conversations... and finally handle him with Red, handle him with himself because he lives in me, because he raised me.

16/07/2021 (Week 25) Sometimes when I am afraid I... procrastinate avoid challenges become paralyzed lose my focus have difficulties to work become agitated stress Sometimes when I am hurt I... feel painful sensation in my body have difficulties to do what I want to do isolate hide cut people brutally refuse to change Sometimes when I am angry I... become mean want to punch someone repress my anger don't show it want to do things fast hide An effective way to handle fear might be to... scream in a pillow confront the fear feel it analyze it breath deeply let it go relax my body An effective way to handle hurt might be to... cry scream write about it talk about it feel it accept it An effective way to handle anger might be to... scream in a pillow punch a pillow run as fast as I can to understand its source to cut its source breath as deep as I can

16 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:47 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:04 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 10:47 AM - 12:19 AM I worked on a web app. Duration: 1 hour 32 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 01:45 PM - 02:45 PM I continued the previous work. Duration: 1 hour Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 4/5 07:06 PM - 08:28 PM I continued the work on the app. I also distracted myself a bit. Duration: 1 hour 22 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 08:35 PM - 09:51 PM I continue the progress on the app. I had a lot of interesting thoughts. Duration: 1 hour 16 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.75/5 Total Work Duration: 5 hours 10 minutes, including hours minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.56 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.81 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)