Raphael

I want to analyze a bit these journals and only keep the essential ones.

I'm going to use this journal to record quick and simple thoughts that I have throughout my days.

I'm currently a bit sliced in half about journaling here vs. stopping journaling.

It feels much more personal and authentic to journal privately, however, people can help us when we journal publicly.

I don't need that many journals on this forum, I'm thinking about stopping that. This is tricky because people can help me, but at the same time, my ego wants to show itself.

I hope that I don't scare the shit out of you with this journal lol Just to reassure everyone here: I'm overall fine, I experience emotions and I throw them out, that's all.

I'll use this journal to throw out emotions.

@Loving Radiance Thanks.

The past 4 years have been tough for me, really tough. I'm finally seeing some hope after so much pain.

Clearing work-related traumas is going to be one of the most powerful thing for me.

Also... I'M FUCKING SICK OF NOISES AROUND ME ALL DAY LONG. I'M SICK OF IT, LITERALLY SICK, SICK, SICK, SICK. THEY ARE ANIMALS AROUND ME, THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO BEHAVE LIKE ANIMALS, THERE IS TRAFFIC ON THE ROAD, THERE ARE CONSTRUCTIONS ALL DAY LONG. PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP ONCE AND FOR ALL, I just want some calm and some peacefulness. I'm sick of noises, I'm sick of being interrupted by noises. I want a calm life where I can concentrate on what I'm doing. Offfffffff... I'm sorry, that may look aggressive but I'm not that angry as I'm writing that, just annoyed that I have to deal with this agitation every day. Anyway, things are getting better, I'm searching for a calm place to rent and even if I haven't found it yet I know that I'll find it.

I currently feel overwhelmed. A lot of things are starting to happen in my life and I have difficulties handling them. I'm getting new opportunities, people are contacting me. I see the big picture, I know what to integrate, what to fix, what to do, and I'm starting to do all that. I know where I'm going. Some results are even starting to materialize. But I feel so overblown. Oh god, this is so difficult to handle. That's a lot of change simultaneously.

Hey there, I'm trying to improve my brain power. I recently started to eat a bit less, I notably reduced my quantity of rice and I noticed that it cleared my mind a lot. I also did some work to release past traumas and it reduced many of my negative thoughts. I would just like to know if you guys have advices to improve my mind and my ability to focus and have clear thoughts. I'm not only looking for healthy food but anything that has an impact on the mind: food, traumas, kind of physical activity, the external environment, etc. I personally currently eat mostly healthy, exercise a bit every day, and try to sleep well (when my mind isn't too crazy). By the way here is how I'm planning to eat for the next month: Breakfast: a smoothie consisting of half an avocado, blueberries, and a date. I will also add some oats 10:00 AM Break: a small mix of fruits (apple and oranges) with some almonds and cashew nuts Lunch: average portion of rice + Eggs or Fish + 2 vegetables + Kiwi 04:00 PM Break: : a small mix of fruits (apple and oranges) with some almonds and cashew nuts Dinner: a small portion of rice + Some Grains (peas, chickpeas, lentils) + 2 vegetables + black chocolate Cheers.

There's a lot of things to learn about ourselves on this forum by observing the people that we come across. They are our shadows, they are reflections of who we are and display: Qualities that we have or want Issues that we have and/or trying to fix Things that we reject and can't accept

Read a section deeply, then check it again, underline the essential things, add some comments if you need too, then put your notes in a note taking app.

@Etherial Cat Maybe not immediately because I'm thinking through things.

@LastThursday @soos_mite_ah I had similar thoughts ~2 months ago about taking responsibility vs. recognizing systemic issues. The conclusion that I came with is that there is no difference between blaming ourselves and blaming the environment: we are the environment, the environment is us, the environment creates us, we create our environment. Thinking that way remove the blame and we don't entirely feel like being the victim of the environment or the victim of ourselves (in a sense), but we recognize what is happening and what needs to be changed and therefore feel more peaceful. However, by doing this it's possible to fall into the trap of not making enough distinctions which create some blur. My conclusion was that there is nothing to blame, but making distinctions and balancing between an internal/external locus is necessary to solve issues.

My masculine/feminine balance is a bit weird: When I'm with a hypermasculine guy, I feel oppressed and don't want to do anything When I'm around women I become a bit too masculine and want to do too much shit

27 October 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:50 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:05 PM (objective 09:30 PM - 10:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 1 hour of meditation in the morning ❌ No distractions until 7 PM ✅ 1 hour of journaling or doing nothing before going to bed

06 September 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:37 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:41 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed

Like this:

Sigh...

Weak for shutting up.

Weak for having difficulties giving emotional support.

Weak for having difficulties processing my emotions and emotionally opening up.