Fello

Don't stop them.. Express them :-)

Don't self-actualization teach you to be humble? Why would you act like a know it all? LOL because nobody do.. no matter how many books and people you watch they could all be wrong and she might be right you can't see it tho ;-) extreme open-mindedness bro. I am no expert but what I think is if you always fight and not getting along with each other but you are still together it might means that you both are using each other.. I sense some neediness in your story. It could be a need for sex, money/security or something else. I am not saying leave her and I am not saying change yourself for her. If you realize that you have a real problem and it keeps occurring in ALL your relationships then ok go ahead and change it if you want but if you want to change yourself just because this one girl doesn't approve of it then I would say no don't change that.. you could be focusing on something else to improve that is more important. My advice would be to have fun while you can for now but then the find someone who's open-minded enough to accept you as you are with your imperfections a person who's completely independent living separately and not relying on each other at all. someone who isn't gonna stick around because they need you or you need them but someone who really want you as you are. I mean no one can be perfect and if you are fighting now all the time it's better to separate because to be honest no matter what you guys talk about it is never worth fighting for, nothing is worth fighting over. "I sense in myself the fear of her giving up and losing her." This is a dangerous feeling bro. Have you watched Leo's video about Healthy Relationships? Good luck bro.. Please don't listen to me I don't know much I recommend you see a consultant to have a good advice :-) Fello.

Hi everyone! thanks for coming in to check my topic.. one big kiss for you.. now let's get to down to it. When I was younger all I wanted is to have a GF.. Then as we grow up we think of more stuff like I want a GF who is hot.. Then I want a GF who is hot but she needs to be tall, thin blonde bla bla bla.. then as we internally grow up more we start talking about a partner who's hot, blonde or whatever features and then open-minded, nice, mature and more about their personality. So now as I am into self-actualization it seems that the perfect one I am looking for is getting more filtered into someone who is really difficult to find (specially in my case living in a 3rd world country). Now it has to be hot, blonde, mature, completely independent, open-minded, conscious and aware, loving, a person who don't believe in right and wrong a person who doesn't let culture control them, a person who don't judge people by where they come from or their color or their religion, a person who doesn't have pride in their race, tribe, religion, nationality or anything other than themselves and their accomplishments. a person who's really grown internally and even more. And as I learn more about self-actualization these filters expand and not only is it difficult to find a person like that but it also difficult to figure out that they are that without actually sitting with them and having some deep conversations. the basic filters that I mentioned first were easy to find and easy to figure them out by just looking at them or having a shallow conversation with them. but the current filters I have are it takes knowing that person for a while and talking to them a lot to actually know that they are self-developed the way we want my future partner to be. I had an amazing relationship for 4 years with a person who was way more self-developed than me.. I learned a lot from her and I am so grateful to her for that but just last year I had to leave the UK because they refused my application to stay (visa shit) she was the best person I have ever known in my life and just last month we decided to end our relationship for the best for both of us. Long distance is just so much and it was a big gamble to keep doing it. It's hard not to play the victim here but for god sake it's the governments rules that didn't allow us to be together. We had to figure out how to travel a lot to see each other and also save money to move somewhere where we can live together at the same time. But anyway it is sad but I guess it was time we moved on. So back to the topic I am sure some of you are having the same issue with those filters looking for the right person to be with.. If you have any ideas or tips please let me know.. I can just just sit around and leave it to fate but I don't think it's the best way so I gotta go out there and find that right person. Not that I am in need of another person to fulfill me. I started to disbelieve in the idea of the significant other in it's traditional sense. But then at one point I guess I have to be with that great person and settle down a bit specially when I get to my mid 30s. so I have enough time to find her... - So tips please if you have had this issue before and you found a solution. - Do you think a self-developed person should only be partner with a self-developed person or is it ok to go out with someone who isn't really that mature. - Would you look for a self-developed person or would you just date random people until you find "the one" and what are the odds considering that most of the people out there are a bit dump and "trumpy". Fello

Saudi Arabia.. Boo (ghost) LOL I see three dots in Saudi what does a dot represents in that map? Love you Leo keep it up! Fello.

You actually did the right thing not fighting. Fighting wouldn't have solved the problem it was only going to escalate it. I would have confront him to help as you did but I wouldn't fight. Actually what I would do is stay away from him.. in real life and in social media and advice my friend to so the same. If he kept bothering her or me I would talk to people in charge in school or even his parents. and let the system deal with him. Violence isn't a solution and "a real man isn't who punches other people but a real man who can control himself in the moment of anger." said a wise man. There is nothing gonna be more effective than to ignore that person completely. And instead of running away from that feeling of failure you want to actually confront it and understand that you did the right thing not fighting with him and remember there is always a peaceful effective way of dealing with such assholes. Fello

Can you explain more about your hatred?

As a child I would be very sad feeling left out.. As a parent I wouldn't have a TV in my house anyway. but if the point is treating one child differently than others if the intent was to appreciate one being "a good boy/girl" then I would do it differently I guess.

Oh man, This is going on a lot! here in the middle east.. Everything is about family. They even decide what major to study, whom to get married to and what job to do. Sometimes if your decision will effect the whole family then you might wanna be considerate. For example I have a job I am not feeling very happy in it,, I could just resign and walk away from it and do what I love even if it means making almost no money, but if it means that my family that I am providing for will be suffering because of that and maybe even kicked out of the house for not paying rent then I would definitely hang on to my job until I find a good alternative and be a little patient. However if it was that my mom wants me to get married to someone she wants in our family and she wants to see her grand-kids while I am really not into doing that or not even ready for such commitment then f**k no I won't do that. My happiness comes first. I would be happy to help my family and most of the time fix what my parents destroyed in the past but my future should be on top of all. Specially if it was something they want and it is unreasonable to me. for example if you are a certain race and you are dating someone who is from a different race and your parents don't want you to do that then they better screw themselves. basically what I am doing is if it is something that the family NEED then I would let go a little bit and try to find a mutual solution but if it is just something they want then I would definitely put my happiness and future first. And regarding them having more life experience.. what matters is what you feel in your gut. If you feel this is wrong do it and if you feel it is right just do it. My ex's family used to tell her to stay away from me. they didn't even know me but their advice was based on prejudice and generalization. Even her friends told her to be cautious. because "Arabs always wanna take an advantage of you" and because "he will take the kids from you and raise them in his country" and because "They always mistreat women" just many judgments that were full of crap and she never believed them which is good. I treated her better than she treated herself. Better than how her parents treated her. I was the best BF she ever had according to her. She got nothing but love and respect. There is a lot to talk about in this one. but as long as your decisions don't harm your family in a real way then you should be able to do what ever you feel happy doing. Nice Topic!, sorry for the long post.. Fello