Allinthemind

A week of dog-sitting is a big ask! How much experience do you have of caring for dogs? How well do you know their dogs or their house? When you have been responsible for things in the past, has it gone ok? You don't deserve to feel guilty about this. Her angered reaction may just have been in the moment. If you want to recover your friendship with her, consider the following: When are they going away? Is there still time to fix this? Consider what she could do to make the dog-sitting seem easier for you (like spending time over there with the dogs before she goes and building confidence with them). Can the dog-sitting be shared with another person too?

Breathing is such an important part of anxiety management. The key is to stretch the diaphragm when inhaling by using an abdominal breath. Consider that the diaphragm is one of the key muscles to tense up when feeling anxious. Breathing then becomes more thoracic, rapid and shallow (hyperventilation). http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/breathing-techniques/

Switch it off and be prepared to make the effort to change this. You are right, your short term perspective is jusified with procrastination. Refresh your motive, visualise and meditate with it. Identify any triggers that would help e.g. would a social commitment encourage you to participate? Be prepared to generate some self-initiated adrenaline to get you moving.

What is your OCD? The helpful technique can be related to the nature of your OCD.

The "real" life you lead is based on your beliefs. Your beliefs create your reality. Change your beliefs/standards and you create a different reality. You can already appreciate that the fear is weighing down your reality. Set realisitic goals that focus on enjoying the process; the achievements will come from this.

If you explain what "male and female energy" means to you, then you may get some replies that match your belief system. Understanding the nature of your generalised anxiety, your symptoms, triggers, coping mechanisms etc. would be helpful for you. Does your approach have to be gender-based?

Calling it a phobia helps people to relate to the severity of your response. I'd put it more into the category of (informal) social (performance) anxiety: http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/performance-anxiety/ Do have anxiety talking to everyone on the phone? What about with video calls? Do you suffer with social anxiety generally? There are a number of ways to approach this. What is your core fear in this situation? Not being able to see the other person's responses? No being able to speak when you are panicking? Do you need to know who you are speaking to? Or how to control your panic? Away from the phone call situation you may be able to gradually build confidence dealing with your anxiety in stages, then building into your program a phone call conversation (desensitisation). Have you tried having a face-to-face conversation with someone whilst simultaneously having a phone conversation with them? You obviously don't need to be connected by phone, but this practise may help you to dissociate your anxiety response.

At one level you are feeding her actions. Read your previous posts. You are in love a girl who "is a very negative, angry, and emotionally driven person and we had nothing in common...She is completely obsessed with me and will randomly come up to my room and immediately put me in a bad mood. I have worked on staying calm around her but after a while it seems impossible. She gets so mad and is always yelling and hitting me for no reason..." etc. etc. You are in love with this? You suffer with low self esteem and insecurity which is compromising your clarity to act assertively in this situation. Get help from a college counsellor.

You need to start compiling evidence by recording a few conversations of her admitting her blackmail. That will clear her accusations. Do you mean that you actually feel jealous about what she is doing? That will put a different light on your reactions. Do you suffer with insecurity?

You are not responsible for what she does/does not do. Consider recording some of these conversations on your phone just in case you ever need to prove your innocence. She is blackmailing you. When you have the evidence, then speak to an official in college. Things could get nasty. Be serious about your intentions here to prevent any fallout.

Since she has already got around you before, she is convinced that you will buckle again. Are you giving her mixed signals by letting her into your room? You sound like someone plagued by guilt. Have a chat to a your personal tutor or make an offical complaint to a member of staff that she is threatening suicide. Tell them that she is harassing you and you would like her to stop. It's time to be serious about this if it is bothering you that much. Harassment can be draining and will impact on your studies.

It could be a combination of all of them because at some point in the process/activity/situation you anticipate a visual disorientation. This causes the inner ear to sense movement and you are then probably tensing (retracting) certain muscle groups to compensate (excessively protect yourself, rather than using your muscles to counter-balance). Have you had/do you have and inner ear problems? Tips: Grade different experiences on a scale of 1 (easiest) to 10 (hardest). Gradually work up the scale learning to focus your eyes on a spot where possible. Breathing techniques ( http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/breathing-techniques/ ) and mindfulness/self-hypnosis will help you to establish if you are excessively tensing any muscle groups (e.g. tensing neck muscles can create a feeling of vertigo). If you are ok on ice, have you tried ice skating as a starter activity to desensitise your response?

Your guilt/self-blame/responsibility markers are high. You brought a person into your life that you believed to be good. When you knew better, you did the right to expel him. You are not accountable for the actions that he chose to take. When you can forgive yourself for this responsibility, you will be free from this guilt. You deserve this.

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Has anything happened to dent your trust?

I change the workout routine every so often to keep things fresh. Depending on your goals (strength, power, cardio, mobility etc.), there could be numerous ways to exercise and make changes: different exercises for muscles groups, number of reps, speed of reps, sets, scheduling of the exercise, circuit, with or without a partner/trainer, group circuit, with/without weights, (there's lots of ideas on Youtube).

I think your financial situation is a major cause of your anxiety/panic right now. The part time job needs to cover the essentials. Have there been any changes in relationships recently? Do you trust getting close to people? Fear being let down?

@aurum Having lived for a year by yourself, it doesn't sound like abandonment issues are the main source of your panic attacks. How financially tight is your situation now? Have you always worried about money?

What are you trying to fix?

What were you stressed out about before the panic attacks happened? "Everything is pointless" - Do you mean that at that moment, life is pointless? You have had enough panic attacks to come through them (distressing though they are). Do you believe that you will always get through them? Your panic attacks are recent. Have you had periods of being alone before without having panic attacks? Or without being depressed?

Are you anxious about being alone? Can you identify any other thoughts that precede your panic? What do you think will happen to you when or after you panic?

You deserve some self-appreciation too; I imagine that you have made a huge contribution to your recent enlightenment.

Are you insecure about your frequency and want to compare notes to see if you are "normal"?

My personal view on it is a method of distraction (placebo, see Wikipedia). This can be a good thing when you want to focus away from something negative like a panic attack, rather than being overwhelmed by your symptoms. I consider breathing techniques/mindfulness, visualisation, identifying core conflicting beliefs and desensitisation as more effective ways of dealing with panic attacks. What's causing your panic attacks?

@Scarecrow Possibly both. Being responsible for and taking care of yourself is important. This doesn't mean that you are being selfish. Being (feeling) "responsible for" and "helping others" is not the same thing. You undoubtedly feel guilty about what is happening with your family. This may have been part of your family conditioning imposing dependent beliefs on others: "it's your fault that I'm feeling this way!" Are they seeking your help? If they are, then you can offer it. Whether your help is a short term fix or creates independence in the long term for them depends on the situation and what they are trying to resolve. You can only help those who are prepared to help themselves first. Can you shed some on light on what is going on?