Allinthemind

A week of dog-sitting is a big ask! How much experience do you have of caring for dogs? How well do you know their dogs or their house? When you have been responsible for things in the past, has it gone ok? You don't deserve to feel guilty about this. Her angered reaction may just have been in the moment. If you want to recover your friendship with her, consider the following: When are they going away? Is there still time to fix this? Consider what she could do to make the dog-sitting seem easier for you (like spending time over there with the dogs before she goes and building confidence with them). Can the dog-sitting be shared with another person too?

Breathing is such an important part of anxiety management. The key is to stretch the diaphragm when inhaling by using an abdominal breath. Consider that the diaphragm is one of the key muscles to tense up when feeling anxious. Breathing then becomes more thoracic, rapid and shallow (hyperventilation). http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/breathing-techniques/

Switch it off and be prepared to make the effort to change this. You are right, your short term perspective is jusified with procrastination. Refresh your motive, visualise and meditate with it. Identify any triggers that would help e.g. would a social commitment encourage you to participate? Be prepared to generate some self-initiated adrenaline to get you moving.

What is your OCD? The helpful technique can be related to the nature of your OCD.

The "real" life you lead is based on your beliefs. Your beliefs create your reality. Change your beliefs/standards and you create a different reality. You can already appreciate that the fear is weighing down your reality. Set realisitic goals that focus on enjoying the process; the achievements will come from this.

If you explain what "male and female energy" means to you, then you may get some replies that match your belief system. Understanding the nature of your generalised anxiety, your symptoms, triggers, coping mechanisms etc. would be helpful for you. Does your approach have to be gender-based?

Calling it a phobia helps people to relate to the severity of your response. I'd put it more into the category of (informal) social (performance) anxiety: http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/performance-anxiety/ Do have anxiety talking to everyone on the phone? What about with video calls? Do you suffer with social anxiety generally? There are a number of ways to approach this. What is your core fear in this situation? Not being able to see the other person's responses? No being able to speak when you are panicking? Do you need to know who you are speaking to? Or how to control your panic? Away from the phone call situation you may be able to gradually build confidence dealing with your anxiety in stages, then building into your program a phone call conversation (desensitisation). Have you tried having a face-to-face conversation with someone whilst simultaneously having a phone conversation with them? You obviously don't need to be connected by phone, but this practise may help you to dissociate your anxiety response.

At one level you are feeding her actions. Read your previous posts. You are in love a girl who "is a very negative, angry, and emotionally driven person and we had nothing in common...She is completely obsessed with me and will randomly come up to my room and immediately put me in a bad mood. I have worked on staying calm around her but after a while it seems impossible. She gets so mad and is always yelling and hitting me for no reason..." etc. etc. You are in love with this? You suffer with low self esteem and insecurity which is compromising your clarity to act assertively in this situation. Get help from a college counsellor.

You need to start compiling evidence by recording a few conversations of her admitting her blackmail. That will clear her accusations. Do you mean that you actually feel jealous about what she is doing? That will put a different light on your reactions. Do you suffer with insecurity?

You are not responsible for what she does/does not do. Consider recording some of these conversations on your phone just in case you ever need to prove your innocence. She is blackmailing you. When you have the evidence, then speak to an official in college. Things could get nasty. Be serious about your intentions here to prevent any fallout.

Since she has already got around you before, she is convinced that you will buckle again. Are you giving her mixed signals by letting her into your room? You sound like someone plagued by guilt. Have a chat to a your personal tutor or make an offical complaint to a member of staff that she is threatening suicide. Tell them that she is harassing you and you would like her to stop. It's time to be serious about this if it is bothering you that much. Harassment can be draining and will impact on your studies.

It could be a combination of all of them because at some point in the process/activity/situation you anticipate a visual disorientation. This causes the inner ear to sense movement and you are then probably tensing (retracting) certain muscle groups to compensate (excessively protect yourself, rather than using your muscles to counter-balance). Have you had/do you have and inner ear problems? Tips: Grade different experiences on a scale of 1 (easiest) to 10 (hardest). Gradually work up the scale learning to focus your eyes on a spot where possible. Breathing techniques ( http://www.clinicalhypnotherapy-cardiff.co.uk/breathing-techniques/ ) and mindfulness/self-hypnosis will help you to establish if you are excessively tensing any muscle groups (e.g. tensing neck muscles can create a feeling of vertigo). If you are ok on ice, have you tried ice skating as a starter activity to desensitise your response?

Your guilt/self-blame/responsibility markers are high. You brought a person into your life that you believed to be good. When you knew better, you did the right to expel him. You are not accountable for the actions that he chose to take. When you can forgive yourself for this responsibility, you will be free from this guilt. You deserve this.

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