Chocker

The question is not why they talk, the question is why you care? As they say small minds talk about people, you cannot control that, what you can control is how you represent yourself if someone heard the stuff they´r talking about you it is up to them to believe it or not, Your job is to be yourself and get rid of those who are not capable of judging you by your character but by what others say.

Hey Stuck AF! First of all, congratulations, You have done a great job defining the things that you do not like in your life, and are taking some action to change them (like posting here). And let me tell you, I am excited for you, you have still so many things to learn, and are starting your self development journey at a great age, some people wait until they hit a major crisis in their 30´s to start making changes. So, where to start? right where you are, You already mentioned some of the things you do not want, let´s think about them as ´the shadow´of what you do want. What I would suggest you to do is define what it is that is casting this shadow. For instance, you said: I have self esteem issues -> is the shadow of being confident. I am underweight -> is the shadow of being physically fit. And this things (being confident, being fit, etc) are inside you, that´s why you can see their shadow and that´s why they bother you, because something inside you is telling you ´what I am seeing is not the real me´. Nothing has changed yet, but now instead of seeing problems (shadows) you are now seeing GOALS. The reason why videogames are so addictive is because they have clear defined goals, that you reach little by little, mission by mission, race by race, and challenges are increasingly hard it is common that the first missions in a game are really easy, but you get some gear or you build some skills, and as you progress the challenge increases. It is this balance between the level of the challenge and your level of skill that keeps you hooked. This is known in psychology as the state of flow. And as you know is addictive. Imagine what would happen if you could apply this principle to your self development? I am sure you would feel motivated to do things that will get you to your GOALS. So as I said it is the balance between challenge and skill, If the challenge is too big, you are going to feel frustrated, and not very motivated to try/play the game if the challenge is too small, (ie it is too easy) you are going to feel bored. Imagine if the whole game consisted only in beating the last (hardest) mission without having chance to build your skills? how many times would you play it? 3 ? 5? I don´t know but I am sure you would eventually give up after being killed again and again without having chance to make any progress. And what if from the beginning of the game you could beat all the enemies without any effort? May be fun for a few minutes, but my guess is you would eventually get bored, quit the game and not pay it again. Same thing happens in your life. (I have no motivation to start getting of my ass and fix the problems,I just sit in my room and days go by ) You need a GOAL and a set of smaller goals that will build your skills to the point where you can beat the big challenge. For instance lets say you are going to play BEING PHYSICALLY FIT. But being physically fit is somewhat vague, and as in any good game we need a CLEAR GOAL, let´s say the goal is to weight X pounds (of muscle, not fat of course) or being able to run 300meters in under a minute or whatever goal you would like to achieve, (make sure you write this thing down and and keep track of it, as you would in a video game ) this has to be challenging, we are talking big boss challenging, and then divide it in smaller missions, that are still challenging but somewhat easier to achieve. Like the different levels on the game, and give yourself a reward every time you beat a mission. That way you are going to be engaged and motivated. The good thing is you already know the process, just in a different context. Man! those are many words, hope they make any sense and help you.

This is an interesting and complex topic. It´s a little bit like the dilemma of which came first, the chicken or the egg, as our mind affects our biology and our biology affects our mind. There may be a genetic component to mental illness, but having a certain gene or set of genes does not determine by itself wether or not you will develop mental illness (or any other kind of illness). It is the environment what controls the expression of the genes. (check Bruce Lipton´s video: The Biology of Belief). You can see this on twin siblings, they share the exact same DNA, and yet one develops certain illness that is thought to be genetically caused while the other does not. What´s the environment then? It may be the place where you live, what you eat, your exercise habits, your personal social connections as well as the whole society you live in, the information you consume, etc. Some of this things you can control, for instance you can change what you eat, your exercise habits, where you live, etc and some you cannot control, like for instance you cannot change your family, or the society where we live in BUT you can control your PERCEPTION of this things. Perception is the link between your environment and your biology, and this is where the "conquering the mind" part comes in. You cannot change some of the events in your life, but you can change what you think about them, the meaning you give to them, and this will in turn affect your biology. How this relate to Mental Illness/Health? Let´s say for instance, a person loses his wife/husband to divorce, this is a fact and by itself it does not mean anything. This person may choose to: A) Think he/she will not be able to find love again and that she is going to be miserable. B) Think that he/she now will be able to pursue some of her interests, meet new people, travel, etc. Having the same genes (as we are talking about the same person) in which case is the person more likely to develop Depression? Now, let´s say she is depressed. A doctor may prescribe some Antidepressants that will alter the brain chemistry and the person may feel better for a while, but if the mental patterns remain, he/she will most likely relapse as soon as the medication is stopped.(or illicit drug, alcohol, food or whatever is being used to stimulate the brain to have more dopamine and serotonin, which are the feel good chemicals in the brain). On the other hand if the person learns to think different and to manage her emotions, he/she will be creating the right chemistry in her brain without the need of an external stimulant and remain mentally healthy. The case could be the opposite as well, a person may be optimistic and have healthy mental patterns, but may have an organic issue, let´s say some allergy or undiagnosed food intolerance, he/she may get depressed anyways. She may meditate, exercise, practice Yoga and do all she can to balance her emotions without success until the organic cause is addressed. So, my view is that it is a balance between "hardware" and "software", It is a matter of the Body as it is of the Mind.