Peak

The way things are going 7.9.2016 I don't know if I should continue this journal or not? The original reason why I started this journal is to hold myself accountable. And to be honest it was actually doing it's thing with meditation. But the disciplined counter/ streak counter were things I made up to see if I can complete my tasks for today. And usually I will succeed or fail. Now as for the past 2 days I been changing my meditation habits a lot. There are other ways to do meditation( walking, standing, sitting on chair etc.) And another thing I'm doing is researching meditation techniques and the problems I'm having. One of my problems is sleeping while meditating. Today I was watching a video on the Neti Neti technique by Leo, and along the way I started to sleep. And I had to stop the video because of how close my body was getting to sleep(like really close my eyes were closing and I was being sent to unconscious land). For the past two day I been programming and finish two sections on freecodecamp and I am on the iquery section. I also started rollerblading and will be having fun in that. The future of this journal... It appears that I have finally found a way to get things done: wake up early, get started on what you want to do and just do it/ focus on it.(make sure your just focus on the task on hand and focus on one thing at a time). I also feel that I won't be updating this regularly anymore. The problem is that do I really need to write the stuff I did today and describe in detail. The point of this is that I want to living my life not writing what I did today. In the future I want to be living a life of growth and learning but to have to write about whether I got everything done just makes me thinks its a waste of time. I prefer to just live, and not rely on any planner to plan out my day. My thoughts can do that. I don't need a system to hold myself accountable, my thoughts and actions can do that. The benefits of writing this journal is as follows: improve writing(could help me in school) but it appears that I only get write so well when I am passionate or excited about something, I only start to fail when I am not interested in what I am writing. (And yes there are parts where the writing kind of suck.)(but mostly I'm using my thoughts.) information to help, I get to talk about myself and share resources on anything I learn or experience today. The downsides of writing this journal: wasted time, usually it's wasted time if I feel like I'm doing this for homework(it feels like homework if I don't feel passionate or excited) or because I have to update the system of accountability. In the end I get to save time and truly live my life of personal growth and learning.

Update 7.6.2016 There's a reason why I do personal development, even if it's hard. The first reason is that I don't want to become another cog member in society. In society you have to work, come home, complain about your job and how your life is turning out. Another reason is that I want the very best that life can give you. There's people out there who had so much potential, but ended up wasting it with a false relationship, or following someone else's lifestyle. There also people who have hidden potential but never realize it, because of the social conditioning they go though. Now for the reason I haven't post in the last two days:getting distracted on the first day and not waking up early on the second day. The first day was 4th of July, so I kind of got distracted with that. The second day I woke up late (9:30am). After several attempts at waking at 7:3x , 8:0x and 9:00. What really happened is that I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning and that led to me sleeping again. Another reason is that I did'nt have the energy to feel wake. I managed to meditate on the 4th for only 5 minutes. This is because, I was looking up different meditation positions and types of meditations. In this case it was breathing meditation. Unfortunately I don't think I meditated the next morning after the 4th. I may update this later in the day.

Should there be celebrities in a self actualized society? If not why? Should the celebrities be traditional or something like: the guy who meditated 20 hours yesterday. How much exposure should these celebrities get? What I think is that its good to have some people frame for what they did towards the city or to their life, but they should keep their privacy and live a normal life.

Fell asleep while meditating 7.3.2016 streak counter:1(I actually did a lot today) Yesterday was another of those days where I just wanted to sleep early and not write anything. Meditation:(the day prior): It was only 34 minutes and the reason is that my mouth started to fill with saliva, and I try to hold it but ended up having to go to the bathroom just to split it out. Meditation(today): This meditation, I was being aware and making sure my body stood still, even though it didn't. The reason is that my body ended up moving and later on I actually think that I fell asleep while meditating. So I basically lost my consciousness and went to sleep not remembering anything. Then I "woke up". Well not really because when I got out of this sleepy state my eyes were still closed. After waking up I felt aware and peaceful and when the meditation ended, the time that I perceive felt slow because of that sleepy state that I got while meditating. Another thing is that I couldn't keep my body straight and it kept falling down and going back up. I guess my back wasn't perfectly straight. I finally finish that book on about how to be a straight a student. Here is my review: Most of what he talks about is common sense in the beginning. And the things I learn from him are stuff that I could have been doing without realizing it. The essay part is useful though. Having to plan out, research, getting a second opinion, and reviewing 3 times on the computer, out loud,and a quick read(it's just one each). I can't say that I will be going to college because of the high prices, and outdated course material that gets old by the time you're in your 3rd year of college. And the stuff I'm am studying can be done online for free.(programing, and other things I plan on doing) I also had some fun in the pool and will be doing that tomorrow. I also find that if I wake up early (7:00am) or earlier I actually get work done and all the stuff I need to do to have free time later in the day.

Would you rather have a rich inner life (imaginative,creative,inside your mind. etc.) Or rich outer life (flashy car, great body etc.) And then if you had to choose the two and the other is poor. (rich inner life,poor outer life visa versa.) Which one would be and why?

Halfway though the year 7.1.2016 Streak counter:0 Well I wasted my day again. I did do some reading on how to be a straight a student and I am on the last part of the book. But I was thinking, should I read more books like this in the future? I mean the only reason I am reading this book is to get better grades in highschool, even though it's for college students. If there's anything else to say is that I don't want to repeat a course and have to do it all over again. Which is one reason why I am reading this book. Another reason is to see how smart am I in the school system. But I do think the education system is flaw somewhat. Most of the stuff you learn is about theory. Quadratic formula anyone? And you end up forgetting about it. There are useful parts of math and other subjects. But if you arn't going to have a career that requires it than why study it? Just so you can be well rounded? Study the stuff you're interested in and be open minded about other things/subjects. My meditation wasn't really meditation. I meditated at the same time. The only thing that messay up my meditation was me moving my head around and body opening my eyes very close to when the meditation ended. And feeling that my body isn't straight when meditating. I also can't believe the year is halfway over. Time does go faster when your older. The only way I been slowing it down is trying new things/learning. But even then the day stills goes fast. Even when I am meditating goes somewhat fast. It one hour of meditating. I wonder how fast my life would be if I was 100 years old, instead of 17.

Difficulty in the future 6.30.2016 Someday I may have trouble growing in whatever I am doing and that is going to stall my progress. streak counter: 0 (If only I didn't wasted time procrastinating [evening]) Meditation: Normal in the beginning than later on, I got quite a long period of quietness. Then I started to fart during meditation. This happens again and I thought that my mediation section was going to get interrupted by going to the bathroom, but it didn't . I also procrastinated today because I was having trouble figuring out how to do this part when programming, but I solved the problem an hour later. The morning was off a good start but the evening was the part where I started to procrastinate. The meditation was at the same time again.

What are your thoughts on polyphasic sleep?

Fresh start 6.29.2016 Streak counter:1 (if I don't stay on task than this counter goes back to zero.) Goal:5 in a row. I actually did what I wanted today! (meditation, 5 push ups, coding, drawing, and watching videos related to careers and other things.) I did my tasks later in the day and did my meditation early(6:00pm-7:00). The meditation had background noise in the beginning(people talking) and later on I actually felt sleepy because of how early I woke up. I think it was around 7:something.

Starting Over This week just started out bad. Only 20 minutes of meditation on sunday, 40+ minutes on Monday due to me getting fooled, and only 10 minutes today because of how late it was. The meditation was quick with my body moving. I am now going to make myself tired and see if I can sleep well. Oh, yeah: No more discipline counter. I will be replacing that with something else tommorow.

Beach vacation 6.27.2016 I went to the beach today. Meditation : very wavy due to me playing in the water and relaxing on the sand. Later on I heard this quiet sound that sounded like my alarm. I knew that it wasn't my real alarm, but I just had to open my eyes and see the alarm and realized that I got fool again. If there anything to learn from this is that the real alarm is much more louder than what I was hearing. Another thing is that sometimes I hear sounds, when quite a lot of time have pass when I am meditating. Usually I will hear birds or the alarm sound. This only happens rarely, so I don't know what it is. The discipline counter is suspended today because of the beach.

What happen yesterday and today 6.25.2016 & 6.26.2016 Discipline counter:2(could't even sleep that fast and still wake up feelin rested) Me losing:5 Nooooo... I fail (but that's because of the sleeping thing and how I wasted time later in the day.) Yesterday I was doing a challenge to get up early at 5:50am in the morning. The problem was that if I try to sleep early (10:30pm) it's going to take 30 minutes to 2 hours for my eyes to get tired to actually sleep. I can't sleep at 10:30pm and only get 6 hours of sleep because my eyes couldn't sleep at 10:30pm. Now I did woke up at 5:50am but went back to sleep and woke up at 8:00am just so my eyes can get enough rest. What I did was try to stay up later just reading on my tablet on bed but that has blue light, so I downloaded a app that turns the screen to a orange to redish color to help with your eyes to sleep.App:twilight. This is what is inspirednme to do this:http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/05/how-to-become-an-early-riser/.And:http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2013/07/how-to-fall-asleep-in-less-than-30-seconds/ That's the reason I didn't write anything yesterday. Not wanting blue light to ruin my sleep. Meditation yesterday: I only did 20 minutes of do-nothing meditation it felt like nothing and quick. Meditation today: 54 minutes of do-nothing meditation with eyes closed. In the beginning I did a sneeze, so that ruin the stillness for a little while. Much later on, my saliva was picking up and I just hold it in, later on my mom enter in my room and that's when the meditation ended.(some accident happen when someone drop a piece of glass outside my room and mom was just checking to see if glass enter in my room.) Other than that I did no coding or drawing or reading(how to be a straight a student.) I throw away more school papers and finish a video game, very close to finishing it. No walking to the park because it was raining in the afternoon but then the rain stop 5 hours later. Since I am writing this on a tablet, there is no text sizer, text color or even spacing to the left, center or right on here.

Where are the best resources for meditation. I want to improve my quality of meditating by a lot. And where can I learn about other types of meditation to do and techniques to help me along the way.

At least I did some of it Discipline counter:2( I only did what I wanted though) Me losing: 4 (The park lap thing is something that can't happen everyday due to resting my legs and if I don't feel like it) 6.24.2016 Meditation experience: Started out normal than my mind was in negative music mode. The hard thing to explain is that I have music stuck in my head, and sometimes two pieces of music will combine to and it will create a negative music vibration. And it just sounds, no talking or lyrics. And the sad thing is that when I was younger I did'nt have music stuck in my head all day long. It was peaceful and in the present moment. And this lasted from 0-13? years old. The big mistake was when I decided to sleep with headphones on and listen to music throughout the night at age 14. Now the music that was stuck in my head on that day is gone at least. But I can choose to play it in my head at will. It probably won't remember all the soundtracks though. Later on I got some periods of quietness and peacefulness and than my back started hurting again, but I deal with the pain. I did my coding and only did 20 minutes of drawing. More like coloring with my left hand just so I can train it to be like my right. And I did'nt walk to park and do 3 laps, and no reading today. If there's anything else to say is that I was feeling anxious at around 1:45PM-2:30PM just because of the thing I wrote yesterday about writing "I fail" if I did'nt complete the day tasks. And another thing is that the day went way to fast. Why does my day has to go fast, it feels like there not enough time to do what I want to do. The negative music vibrations could explain why I did'nt want to do any learning today. And I don't listen to negative music. The sounds combine and than sound negative for some reason I can't explain. Sometimes there's good soundtracks in my head and those I am fine with. But I want to experience reality the way I did when I was younger and include anything I learn from meditation and personal development.

Meditation section day 6.23.2016 Discipline counter:1( I did do my meditation section [two in fact!] and read two charters of that book and did 5 incline pushups/ walked 3 laps around the park). The only reason I will fail this day is because I did'nt do everything require for this day. Me losing: 4(If I don't succeed tomorrow I will be force to say I fail) I did 2 types of meditation today. The first was this guided meditation from holosync and while I did the demo, my body was very still and my mind was quiet for the 20 minute period. Then I did my regular do-nothing meditation for 1 hour. And it started out fine. But later on it turn into breathing meditation. I was breathing through my nose to mouth and this cause my mouth to be sightly open but close. My body was very still for this one. After the meditation ended my back hurt but the feeling went away. I went to the park again today. Did 3 laps again and while I was walking I did breathing through my nose to mouth and I think this is what cause my regular meditation section to turn into a breathing meditation later on. And I also did 5+ incline pushup pushups. I read two charter of the book and I'm almost done with it. Just 100+ pages to go. And while I did'nt do any coding or drawing I wasted time looking for infotainment and a little entertainment. That's pretty much is what is causing to wasted time out of my day. And it's not like this is too much in total this is just 3 hours in my day 4 if you count meditation while the rest is free time. Another thing is that I don't want this journal to talk up my time/ sleeping hours so I will have to be very careful to not waste a lot of time unless if its not my bed time. And I can't find the text sizer on the mobile version of this site and it doesn't have to many options like the PC version

@charlie2dogs I guess I will do what I said about being aware/being in the present moment and use tips from http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/10-steps-to-mindfulness/ and http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/02/15/8-ways-to-return-to-the-present-moment/. My meditation experience was fine. It started out normal. Later on it turn into breathing meditation where I was just breathing though my nose to my mouth. And while I wasn't perfectly still I manage to be very still for this meditation.

@charlie2dogs I don't know how to meditate though out the day. Can you tell me. Do I have to do what I said about being aware and in the present moment.@Natura Sonoris I did the demo, and while I had to hear the guy talk for some minutes, my mind was focus on the music and when he stop talking I was very still and just focused on the sound. By the time the 20 minutes were up my body was very still and my mind was very quiet. Now I can't be wearing headphones and bring my tablet out just to do a simple meditation section. And this cost money oh well. There are guided meditations on youtube but its different. I am going to do my regular do nothing meditation after this post for 1 hour. If it takes me more than a hour to reply back thats why.

@charlie2dogs So is this how to be aware/ in the present moment: I focus all my version on/ look at the food I am eating while feeling the food and it's taste. And if I am looking at a tree I just look at the tree, focus my version on it, feel the tree and just be in reality. If I have thoughts or music in my head I just watch it and just hear/listen to the thought or music and not get absorb by it. Also what do you mean by core being, the inner self? And I can't say that being mediative though out the day is a distraction neither is high concentration or the other stuff I said. I understand why you may think it's distraction because I have to do different meditation techniques and it's too much it do in one day. Also what meditation should I do to be aware and present though out the day.

@charlie2dogs I want to be aware and be in the present moment. I also want for my mind to have no music stuck in its head/ thoughts. I want to concentrate long periods of time/ be more creative. In the future I want to do astral projection and lucid dreaming. And making sure that my day is in a mediative state. The end goal is to reach spiritual enlightenment and gain any supernatural powers if they exist. Edit: I also want to reach deeper states of meditation/ the maximum level you can in meditation.

@Linas If Leo does become become a millionaire than what will he spend the money on? Will he just spend it on a quiet place in the woods and just meditate all day. Even if he does that, money is just a human invention, something to control resources and zeros/ digits. Also why do you want Leo to be a millionaire?

Leo needs money to survive and got to play by society rules in order to feed himself and not die. So while he may be using specific techniques to manipulate us, he has to do it, so he doesn't strave to death. In the future he may release his videos that cost money for free if the economy crashes and a new paradigm happens.

Did some stuff forgot about the other Discipline counter:1 Me losing: 3 6.22.2016 I went out for a walk to the park. And did 3 laps around it. This took about 32 minutes so that gives you an idea of how big the park was. My meditation section was calm and peaceful there was music in my head but that went away. I continue reading how to be a straight a student but did not finish it. Other than that I wasted the day again.

Neutral day 6.21.2016 Discipline counter: 1 Me losing: 2 Tie-breaker:1 I really don't know if I lost or won the day. Because I was busy coping the doodles and mini drawings that I had on the school papers to a single sheet and using more if I ran out of space and than throwing the school paper away. This is just to keep ideas just in case if I want to use them. My brother than ask me to play a video game with him so that wasted some time. After that I went back to just coping and finishing a section before throwing away the school papers. After that I start to code again. Than after finishing 1 hour+ of coding, I got off task with stuff related to what I was learning but in different areas. Later on I did one section of my driving course online, just so I can prepare for the driving exam and get my license. I could have got this done at 16 but I waited too long. Then I was going to meditate but my dad started cooking and I waited for that to end and just ate the food and finally started meditating by than it was 10:20PM and I did'nt finish until 11:20pm Meditation: It started fine, and I had a few moments of awareness and quietness. This time though I created a bunch of thoughts and kind off got lost in them. My back start hurting so I had to endurance that. It wasn't really that bad though. Unfortunately I did'nt stood aware today, I kind of let the day happen, oh well.

Better but not quite Discipline counter: 1 Me losing: 2 I could have gotten things done today if my emotions did'nt affect me the way it did today. I overall just did'nt felt like doing any personal growth. I was cleaning my room and getting rid of school papers that takes up space in my room. Usually my room is clean, but the school always wastes paper I and I keep them just in case of studying or test . School has now ended 2 weeks ago and I am almost done with this. My meditation experience was ok. At some point during the meditation the computer turn on after being in standby mode and I thought the meditation time was over the time limit sense no alarm went off. In this case I stood quietly and kept my eyes close still meditating and when the alarm went off I was glad I did'nt get fool at thinking the alarm wasn't going to go off. My back was hurting a little bit at some point while meditating and I did have some points while I was just being aware and silence. For the next day I will be slower and more calm and aware because in the awareness alone is curative video. He talks about being aware to what your doing and feeling and being observant and watching whats happening while doing your own thing. I agreed with this because you will stop more easily after being conscious of whats happening around you.

Sigh 6.19.2016 Discipline counter: 1 Me losing: 1 Well nothing went the way I wanted things to go today. Things could have got done if I woke up from bed when my eyes were open at 6:57am, but I ended up sleeping for more time I also could have woken up at 7:58 but no still slept for more it wasn't until 9:00am that I woke up. Even though I slept at 9:46 yesterday but it took like four hours to fully sleep yesterday. Another thing is that my mom took me to shopping today so that wasted some time out of my schedule. But I did see some stuff that were interesting to me, so it wasn't a total waste. Than by the time I got home I wasted more time by watching videos and reading articles about the education system in the us and the indoctrination that happens. It's not that bad of a waste because the current education system is to conform students to society, steal their creativity and be obedient to authority. They teach you to be smart to run the machine but not enough to think by yourself. Of course not all teachers are like this. I also did no real tasks so that why I lost today. http://hackeducation.com/2015/04/25/factory-model My mediation started out normal than my mom said good night to me so I had to talk a little bit, but after that everything was going fine. At some point in my meditation, I was doing so good at not thinking of anything( even though there was music in my head but it was very calming) and my body being very still with no movement expect in some parts but recover very quickly. I thought I could have gotten very deep with this mediation but then I thought the alarm went off, even though it didn't. I was hearing the alarm outside of my head, even though it was quiet sounding. The real alarm would have been so much louder. And I try going back to my meditated state but than I had to go to the bathroom because my body was about to poo, sigh. In total it was 41 minutes of meditation. That's still better than nothing. I also did 1 mediation today not 2. TIME:11:10 pm "Oh well maybe next time" I will give myself a new max of sleeping by 10:20PM