Kelley White

And to give the men equal time...

@Elton, thank you so much for commenting. I can see you feel passionate about this, thank you for speaking up. I think you make some very valid points about the concept of beauty and the factors and entities which can influence our concept of beauty. I found this a very interesting visual presentation of some of the same thoughts... just from a cultural perspective over historical time.

@The Village Idiot, I love Sean Stephenson; another very inspirational person. Thank you so much for sharing this.

@Andy pandy, thank you so much for sharing your story. No need to apologize for grammar your content is very inspirational.

@Natasha, I liked the people pleasing video you are referencing of Leo's. @MartineF, I personally appreciate this comment. I want to do some more self inquiry related to what you stated before I just respond, but the notion gives me pause for thought. Thank you. Very helpful. Thank you for your comments and observations MartineF. I find this one helpful as well. I'm still working on it.

Hi @gian, you are welcome. Good for you. Sometimes we have to take a time out. I've worked with numerous MS patients, I have a couple of dear friends with MS as well. MS is a snarky disease. People can appear cognitively functional such as your father and still have impairment. The disease literally causes atrophy in the brain. You might find this of interest. http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Symptoms-Diagnosis/MS-Symptoms/Cognitive-Changes It can be more than just depression or an emotional reaction to being ill. Like many illnesses which attack the brain, it can be challenging to sort through which is the emotional response and which is the cognitive impairment. Perhaps you are also expecting much of yourself that you can always respond with grace? Most family members and caregivers need their own support systems to cope on a consistent basis, particularly as the disease progresses. I would just remember in your father's case the map might not be the territory. Me either. I have some ideas, but I am still working on self inquiry with this one myself. I tend to assume the same thing, its a habituated response. I have to date had the same observation. This is a huge revelation and I remind myself of this very thing several times a week . I say this a ton, just remember its not a linear process. The bounce back in less time? That is progress. I am really happy for you that you can see and credit yourself for your own progress. Thank you so much for responding and I am happy that some things were able to prove helpful for you. Best wishes to you and yours.

I wish this was always true.

Hi @Irina Irina How does it feel to get to this place for you?

@adrian284, thank you I'm really glad you brought this up. Thank you for sharing. What seems to trigger these feelings and thoughts into your awareness? I personally suspect it is healthy to take a certain degree of interest in self care. I've been asking many people this of late and you know what I'm hearing from the people I'm asking? Yes. We all create a persona and we all have insecurities and are self conscious and I frequently hear from people that when they are in public they are faking it until they can feel comfortable in their own skin. They usually follow that observation up with how very few people actually are willing to admit it. I don't know what your desired outcome is? Are you looking for self acceptance? The right to create your own sense of style? Now we could get all "there is no try only do..." When you have these hyper aware moments in public what do you find works to redirect your focus? What works and what doesn't work for you in those moments? Is there "a should?"

Hi @Irina Irina. So I hear you have challenges with people pleasing and it is interfering with your daily life. I can relate to this challenge as I imagine many here can. Thank you for having the courage to share this and acknowledge it. Recognition is huge. Battling the same challenge I would say be gentle with yourself. Self actualization in my direct experience involves baby steps towards a desired outcome and its not always linear process. Some days I do better than others, some days I do better with certain facets than others. Are you progressing in the direction you wish to be going? What do you think the root fear is underlying people pleasing? http://www.labyrinthhealing.com/blog/what-makes-a-people-pleaser I can relate to this one too. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got out of decades of therapy besides its not a linear process? Avoid Impulsive. Now that I know I can be naive I tend to try to be more analytic and methodical before I leap and balance that with over analysis paralysis. I'm still working on finding the balance. Over all I suggest mediating, bringing more into your mindful awareness and making small changes. Slowly changes can become habits which are pleasing to yourself? While doing so might find others find you pleasing because you are happier and acting from a more authentic and less stressed space more often? Be patient with yourself? What are some ideas you can think of that might help you with people pleasing?

I love it. I like being the entire cast. Hahahahahahaha

@Neill Bolton, thank you! Absolutely wonderful. Again, just gold. Thank you.

@shouldnt Wonderful question. What feeling is underneath this? I'm sensing you are hurt and expressing it through anger? I don't know I'm asking? What is the pattern? What is the consequence of the pattern? What do you think keeps you looping in the same pattern? Is this really true or does it just feel true right now? Yes I don't find this personally to be true? What motivates you to help others? Is this really a truthful statement or an emotional reaction? Is this true? I suspect if she NEVER cared she wouldn't take the time to comment? Do you find absolute statements tend to be truthful or untruthful by and large? Could it be true she cares but perhaps doesn't know how to effectively communicate she cares to you? Is it possible she cares and you are unwilling to receive it because it doesn't come packaged the way you would like or feel you might need? I don't know, I'm asking you to be open to more possibilities at the moment. Lets assume this is totally true, he is your ex husband correct? When did you stop caring as well? You removed yourself from the situation. Good for you. Did you use that anger to motivate you to get out? How can you use it to serve you now so it is not self defeating? You are here. Is it really just a distraction? Are you looking for validation? Healing? Connection? I hear you feel hollow and empty. Can you explore that feeling more? Where is that feeling coming from? Where do you feel it in your body right now? Can you just sit with that for a bit without judgement? Its the thing you perhaps gave yourself without acknowledging it so you have the 100% survival rate you have to date? What is it you feel like you are putting off? Why are you putting it off? Do you really feel this way? Would you really want someone else to feel like trash? This sounds pretty harsh. The just stop? Sounds a bit harsh as well. If everyone were capable of just "stopping"? I doubt we would need forums like this, or mental health professionals. I am wondering what triggered you so badly this morning?

@Skenderberg You know they have a website? The Illuminati? I check it out every now and then just for fun. I think they sell things like pendents and books. Never had a confirmed Leo siting there though.

@Zane, yeah, I think so. I actually have been rereading my draft in progress and coming up with ideas. Alice offers wonderful metaphors to play with.

@R Midhun Suresh, Hi! Thank you for your observation, the matter has been addressed. I am not going to redact anything from the thread since I believe transparency is important and we are now capable of refocusing on @Abhijeet Singh's original post. @MartineF, Yes we can discuss much, LOVE new ideas! Healing someone from a serious mental illness? That seems like a tall order for one individual or one forum. I do think we are in a self actualization forum with people who are experiencing a wide breadth of emotional feelings and situations and there are healthy boundaries for that discussion to take place within so everyone has an opportunity to be heard and respected. The "so what?" for me becomes the potential to cause harm. If someone comes seeking help and they receive harm and are wounded further that could be a problem, and one with severe consequence depending upon the illness. I try to be mindful that each individual here is a real being albeit using a device to communicate. @Lucifer I really understand the frustration of financial hardship. I know what it is like to want a better education and be unable to afford one. One of the reasons I like to volunteer my time here is that Leo has great free resources. He has literally made hours of free materials available. So while you may be frustrated desiring the course I would encourage you to take advantage of the free videos, the forum, and trust that you will receive what is most needful for you in this moment. @Abhijeet Singh, I would ask you this question? Is this visitation in your dreams from Leo like a lucid dreaming experience? EMDR deals with sleep and dreaming and how we process our day time problems through the act of REM sleep. Perhaps Leo is an archetype or represents an archetype you are attempting to work on or process during your REM sleep? Does this interfere with your day time, awake functioning, in a negative way? Thank you for your patience related to the thread. I think confusion would be a normal reaction to what transpired, so its okay. Thank you for your patience with me while I'm learning as well.

@Natasha I don't know? If he's having nightmares????? @Abhijeet Singh, rescue us from our conundrum now please!!!!!

I am just going to ask once again that we return to the original topic of the post. It is in the guidelines we are not here to hijack threads. Its that simple. 100 % responsibility to remember we are in this thread for @Abhijeet Singh. If folks want to question @Leo Gura and his motives they should question him directly. There are also other threads begun in appropriate sections related to disagreeing with @Leo. This thread is under Serious Mental Illness, we have someone mentioning a dream, we have no idea if its fun, if its awful, we know nothing about it, and somehow that led down the rabbit hole we are currently in? I would like for us to remember we are here for him at the moment so he feels free to come back and be transparent about whatever brought him here in the first place.

@Amplituda, I agree! I want to find out what the truth is about this dream of @Abhijeet Singh's.

@Steven, @Nomad @MartineF... its @Abhijeet Singh's thread. I get you gentleman have this interlude going on, but I would like us to refocus upon the original thread and I thank you all in advance.

@Amplituda, right? @Abhijeet Singh, Inquiring minds want to know. Or do we?

@MartineF Right? I mean more context might change the entire scenario?

I think this is a great question to ask. Thank you for asking it @Richard Alpert. I am going to listen to your shared clips now. Thank you.

@Abhijeet Singh Hi. (lest we forget, it is his dream which brings us all here? ) So you are dreaming about @Leo Gura? I know a dream analyst in Italy...we could ask him? I wouldn't do so without your consent first though. I found this sort of interesting... http://psychcentral.com/lib/9-common-questions-about-dreams-answered/ As well as this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recurring_dream Dream science: Interesting stuff the things that dreams are made of and many many theories! I would say unless its a nightmare or impairing your functioning I wouldn't be too concerned. I don't know! You didn't say what you were dreaming about? LOL

@Mess, Hi Nice to meet you. Having a background in law at a different level and understanding the type of case law and other materials you might be reading I can appreciate your frustration. There is a precision to "legalese" which impacts context making each word critical not only in its selection but its relation to the other words around it. I suspect you are experiencing a learning style issue. I might suggest taking notes on your reading. Some people learn via writing and the hyper focus of reading, writing and then speaking aloud commits the content to a deeper level of retention and also imparts more focus of clarity. It may be that reading the material in and of its self is insufficient for your brain to process the complexity of the language without writing it which uses a different portion of the brain. If the note taking helps and you find you can now focus? The frustration should lesson. I am also confident your course load requires hours per day of this type of complex reading; you might find music helpful to relax which can also help you focus more. (Usually this would be instrumental music.) I would also be kind to you because that course load is challenging and throws much personal material at you. It might be very normal to be frustrated at times. Good Luck with your studies and let me know if you find something that works for you.