stuck af

So for a few months my life has been quite shity. It s like I am finding life harder and harder to enjoy.I am 17 and the reason I feel like shit almost all the time is because when I sit down and analize my life,it s like almost every aspect of it is shit. My health isn t that great,I am also underweight a lot (I weight like 75% of what I should),my diet sucks,I have self esteem issues,don t really have a lot of friends,doing bad with girls,still somewhat obsessed with a girl that reject me a few months ago,doing bad in school(which makes me feel like shit ),not feeling my life purpose,not being able to comunicate with my family almost at all...I was hardcore addicted to videogames,I still use a lot of distraction like music and video games to make me feel better for a short period of time. I have no motivation to start getting of my ass and fix thede problems,I just sit in my room and days go by and the situation gets slightly worse each day and I am caught up in this rut.it feels so bad . I am literally sitting here going through the days and months and hoping for a miracle.

Just wondering,what are the traits of a feminine woman? I am trying to get a better understanding of the real healthy feminine psychology. Cause I feel society provides us a false image when it comes to this topic,and I can t really look around to get a clear answer to this.

well.of course I want to improve as much as I can. from diet,work,self esteem,relationships and all that good stuff. but like I said, I always fall back into the: oh I can play for like 2 hours and completely forget about everything. Meanwhile, my life gets slowly worse. how do I train my will force? How do I finnally say fuck this FOR good and actually make a major change.I know I can accomplish a lot,but the will power/motivation just isn t there.I really struggle with consistency. For instance, I start meditating,working on myself,reading self help books,I do it for 3,4 days in a row then I stop. and before I know it,in the next 2 weeks I am back doing nothing-stop meditating,working.It s been like this for a few months.

so I am in highschool ,currently struggling with a TONS of things: grades,social life,rest,self esteem,diet,health. I also have TONS of ADDICTIONS. I used to play video games litteraly all day long and of course that led to the problems I listed above . Over the last few months I actually stopped playing THAT MUCH video games(I still play,but nothing compared to the daily 8 hours I used to),BUT I still don t do shit with my life.I fixed some problems here and there,but nothing that significant. And also...I kind of replaced the time I used to play video games with simply doing other meaningless shit like: browsing the internet for hours,rarely doing it for something actually usefull,looking for distraction using music, and the worst of all ,A LOT of daydreaming. I mean..shit tons of daydreaming. So on one hand, to be able to focus on a task you have to eliminate all physical distractions like turning off the TV,PC,phone etc. And I admit,a lot of the times I can t even do this basic shit. On the other hand,I get distracted by my daydreaming. So if by some miracle I actually start doing some work: homework,reading a book or sometimes even daily basic tasks,5-10 minutes after I actually get caught up in some fantasy conversation or affair in my head. How do I get the motivation to do things,and also the ability to stay focused on the task? Cause right now I am just wasting my time and days go by day after day after day and my life keeps going slowly lower and lower and lower and I think I am even depressed because life kind of lost a lot of joy once I stopped playing video games all day long and got hit by reality.This makes it really hard for me to quit distractions cause when I start playing or maybe listen to some music,fantasies , I almost escape the mental numbness that I experience,until reality hits again...hard... PS: any tips for avoiding numbness while meditating.I can t do more than 20 minutes