Marinus

So i went out on the street and I approached girls. I'm scared of having a conversation. I approached 31 girls in totaal by saying "hello I just want to say that I think you're really attractive". Afterwards I have trouble with conversation, because my vibe is weird and mechanical when I try to be attractive. I only had 4 full conversations. Now I have more to approach, because I want to do a full conversation. How do I get past this fear?

@Olivia24 That's annoying, but when you sleep you don't know if you turn right? So if you clean your nose right before bed maybe that will work for a couple of hours.

In my experience literally eating before going to be isn't a good idea, especially if it takes long for your stomach to digest. When every I eat before sleeping I make sure to be finished 1 hour before sleeping, that way your stomach has done most of the labor. And I also recommend to lay on your left side, because that way the digestion takes place in the round arch of your stomach and it doesn't affect the gate to your throat. Also a meal that consists out of only one ingredient will be better and faster digested since it's easier on your stomach.

I'm also from Europe and I'm 1.91meter. I don't have any luck with girls, my height doesn't give me any edge as far as I experienced. I just wanted to let you know this, because it isn't that black and white.

Adam has a holistic approach to fitness and health which he calls "super functional training". His training philosophy is to integrate multiple disciples into one training to be all around healthier and more physically capable than a modern human. It's basically the physical training equivalent to actualized.org in my opinion. https://www.thebioneer.com/adam-sinicki-about/ I myself benefitted a lot of his teachings. He has a lot of superhero based videos, but don't let this fool you into thinking this is low conscious, because his underlying principles & knowledge are really the fruit of this channel.

Update on last post I al ready failed, but it's not too late. Instead of waking up at four I decided to make it six which feels more natural to me. This means that everything shifts to two ours later.

Intro Once more I'll make a journal to help myself make progress. This journal will be a copy of my personal OneNote journal. The purpose of this journal is to write down everything in my mind to create a digital copy of my insights, wisdom, thinking process, lesson learned, etc. to have proof of progress for when I feel down, demotivated etc. Putting it out on display on actualized.org is a way to keep myself accountable, knowing that people read my journal. My insight and progress can also serve as inspiration for people that are into personal development as well. I will be honest in my posts and fully expose my inner world on this forum. How often I will post I don't know yet. 08-April-2020

Plan internship 2.0 4:00 Wake up To improve my chances of getting out of bed I need to walk to my phone when it starts ringing. So that I have to work to get out. The idea that other people can wake up such as my neighbor motivates me to shut of the alarm. 4:05 Take a piss It looks ridiculous to put it into a checklist, but this will prime my mind for the exact plan. 4:08 Drink 2 glasses of water Idem ditto as "take a piss" 4:15 Begin working at internship telework. Concretely I want to work 6 ours a day and on Sunday only 2 to complete 38 ours of work. 4:20 Start eating breakfast Meanwhile I'm working already 6:00 Workout Not every day. I have to listen to my body. 6:00 Alternatively? I don't know yet what to do in this case which I have to figure out in order to have a solid plan. 7:00 shower 7:20 Prepare to leave Going to the office or not. The problem is that if I don't go to the office I procrastinate work 8:00 Meal 2 8:00 Resume work 12:00 Meal 3 12:30 Ideally finish work If I finisch by this time I can give me the titel of king. In reallity this will be very hard to do. I have however a new plan which makes it easier to do this. I have 6 weeks left of intership and my expectation is that the forst 3 weeks will go almost 80% perfect. 13:00 Do something for college I expect to fail to be at this point which isn't optimistic, but it is to be expected knowing myself. 16:00 Go home 17:00 Meal 4 After this point I have to make meals, shop or I will waste time. Wasting time is okay if I completed the work. 20:00 sleep This is going to be the hardest part. My main weakness is procrastination, especially if it's about sleeping. If I mess this up then tomorrow will be fucked and I'll be unable to function at my best or I'll lose time with sleeping. In the worst case I won't be following my plan and end up at the moment that I'm in right now. This moment is what triggers the cycle of creating a new plan. My conclusion is that procrastinating my going to bed time is the root cause of my problems. If I wake up rested at 4:00 then my chances of success are 80% guaranteed. Waking up to late will guarantee success of 0% and waking up at 4:00 without enough rest guarantees success of 40% to my estimation. I always knew this for the last 5 years, but typing it out makes me really realize that procrastinating bed time is the root cause of failure in my life. My sleep schedule should be my main focus. If this goes right my chances of success are way greater than if I don't 4:00 doesn't have to be the time to wake up, but I have to set an anchor to work from. After internship I think 8:00 will be fine instead.

Ni & Se pleasure plan sabotaging Ni is al about perception. Perceiving live in my comfort zone while living it is a challenge. Ni pleasure is about feeding my mind with interesting ideas, fantasies and fiction. When Ni pleasure takes over I procrastinate and I don't make conscious decisions which I do with Te and/or Fi. Besides Ni pleasure there is also Se pleasure which in my case is unhealthy food and porn. These pleasures are reality based. Currently my routine is once again destroyed thanks to my perceiving functions. I expected this. After 5 years of personal development I'm very sure that my mind gives resistance after 1 month to 2 months of consistent behaviours that are based on Te and Fi decisions. My hypothesis is that my mind get's bored after a month. Homeostasis is also at play here. To truly use this in my advantage I have to look at my greatest achievement. My greatest achievement is in the realm of calisthenics training. After a year I still feel motivated to work out which is an abnormal occurrence for me. What is the secret to my success of still being able to workout? I can divide it in three parts. Part 1 is: the theme/subject and part 2 is change within the theme. The theme of training is physical training/sport. The change within training is the selection of exercises. The last part is vision. I have a vision for the next year about how I workout and what I want to achieve concretely. In order to apply my learned lessons I need to give up on my old routine and adjust my routine to make it new, but not entirely different just like my physical training. Being adaptable is key, because if I try to stick to one thing it's not going to be motivating. I'm not sure if I'm able to do the same thing forever which in mastery is key. However I don't need to follow the traditional path of mastery. I'm just not someone who want's to commit to something specific. I rather commit to an idea which feels way more natural to an N person. Sticking to what always worked it the strength of a S MBTI dominant person and this is my weakest function. My mind needs change within the idea. The idea it self doesn't has to change, it just needs to change to a brighter or darker shade to give enough challenge for my mind. I don't know how other people feel about this, but I think this is what an INTJ can help since our main function is Ni. Te comes second and does what Ni desires. If Te is in control I simply will fail. Ni is the true master of my mind and my true power. It's okay for me to let go of the traditional idea of mastery. Instead I'll use what I call NEO mastery. Fighting against what how I function takes away energy, but guiding my thinking to follow the path of least resistance is what will give me the most energy. Simple typing this is helping me to digest this idea and simultaneously feed my Ni to create ideas and a new vision. At this moment I drink alcohol which is considered unhealthy (which isn't true it isn't black and white) Alcohol makes me more numb and I hypothesize that my weaker function suffer the most which results in Ni being the most capable function to remain and blocking out every other function that tries to fight against Ni like Fi for example. My feeling don't influence my thinking at this very moment. That Aside I want to create a new plan. The routine of waking and sleeping won't change. Instead I plan to change the structure within the routine. This is the end of this post. Now I will structurize my ideas that I gathered this day to create a new plan which isn't very different from the original. I don't really have to do anything except typing it out.

Insight: Extreme polarity Fi Since starting personal development I noticed a pattern in my behaviour. I'm an all or nothing person. My mentality is black and white when it comes to how I approach life. I either am extremely driven, focused on something or a complete lazy ass. When I believe that I need to do a certain thing it usually will work for a period of 2 months. I appear to be confident to people around me and very intense. I often hear from others that I need to relax more and enjoy life. With enjoyment they mean that I need to do things like going out with friends, eat crap, watch tv, laugh and not taking things seriously. I'm not entirely sure about why they say this. People might have the best interest for me, because they themselves aren't able to handle such pressure that I create for myself which results in projection. They might also try to bring me down to their level, because it's threatening that I'm trying to achieve something in life. What people don't understand is that if I do things like extremely it motivates me and I feel like I can take on the world. I have the tendency to share my experiences about my practices with people, but after years of trying this I now am very aware that my approach to life isn't common and it doesn't benefit me or someone else to talk about this unless they ask about it. I think that the Te and Fi functions are the cause of my behaviour. The thinking and feeling functions are the functions that are about decision making. Te is about applying my knowledge to real work practical applications and Fi is about what drives me. My Fi is the black & white thinking. When something is in line with my values I take action on it. One value of mine is learning about myself and building myself to fit in this world, basically personal development. My beliefs about personal development when it is about myself subjectively speaking are childlike. I believe that I have to be like this and no other way. The benefit of this is that there is a clear motivations, it's simple. A child likes to eat candy, because it's tasty, nothing more or less. It's the same with my beliefs. The magic happens when I made this decision and use Te to strengthening is with logic. When I do something there are always multiple reason for it. This is Te in action. When I have a belief it's easy to back it up with multiple beneficial reasons. The reasons for personal development are vast. The more reasons the easier is becomes to pursuit a value. It's rare that I can't answer to why I persuit a certain goal. This makes me appear very confident in the eyes of others and also a little bit crazy The video talks about how functions combined mimic other functions. I was surprised, because my Ni discovered this weeks ago before I saw this video, so I'm glad I found it. In my case Te and Fi combined result in my mimicking Fe when I talk with people. When I talk about my Te accomplishments based on Fi values it looks like I try to be accepted in a group. Logically speaking what I do doesn't work, because Fe is about what communities value and to be honest I don't really care about communities, because they have many flaws. It's just that I try to lift people up, but again this is projection. How I approach life is not common as I said, because the INTJ type is rare, people don't fit in this mold. People rather don't want anything to do with me. One of my friends said he gets stressed out when I'm around him and our friend group. Honestly I feel kind of lonely. Many people simple don't want to live like how I live which makes it difficult to make a connection. Personal development wise my life approach is quite good, but when trying to build relationships it simple doesn't work the way I try it right now. My Fe mimicking appraoch in the eyes of others is: someone driven, confident, intense, slightly insane and very controlling. My Fi black and white thinking does have a huge downside which is that I can easily break. When I have a routine it falls apart when there is a disturbance like taking a day off for example. It also creates a lot of doubt and uncertainty about my abilities. The lack of Si feeds this, because I almost never look back and smile at my accomplishments. After 5 years of personal development I still feel like a beginner that doesn't really know shit although I act like if I do. Objectively speaking I think I do pretty well, but my child like feelings sabotage my self-reflection.

So I saw a video about sleep. A professor from my country claims that people only need 4,5 to 5 hours of sleep. Here is the video, it has English subtitles: I was wondering if there are people here that are able to function with only 5 hours of sleep. How did you do it?

@Michal__ thx. It's something of interest. My experience tells me that at this moment I function the best with 6-7 hours of sleep. When I exercised a lot this becomes 9 hours. This man wrote a book about this, I haven't read it yet, but it's something to consider. I'm surprised not many people are open to this idea, I thought perspectives was one of the core concepts of this forum. Sticking to what is known makes one blind to possibilities. Science discovers a lot of things and also throws away old "truths". If this really works then there is a whole lot of time available that people waste sleeping. My guess is that modern life witch all it's distraction such as artificial lights and job stress result in longer sleeping. Not sure about it, but I would be surprised that people who live in harmony with nature require less sleep, hence yogis not needing as much since they are at harmony with reality.

@SamC Thank you . I have been absent from this forum for 2 years so I've got a lot to post in this journal.

Are you guys taking in account modern life, not just jumping to conclusions and watching the video? Sleep is this man his bread and butter, so why would he be wrong? Sleep is still a subject we don't know a lot about. @Rilles my body is also subject to stimulation it isn't designed for so how can my body be sure? @BlackMaze it seems you didn't watch the video, he says that you need to be relaxed in order to do this, not stressed. Sadhguru also has video's about this subject and he basically says the same without being a professor that studies this subject. I'm not saying that these men are right, but I'm also aware that you guys have beliefs about sleep and are pretty sure that you know the truth about sleep which I think isn't really helping here.

Framework: spiral dynamics I did a test about what I value within an organization. It's very useful to know now that I'm in my last year of college. 3 years ago I learned about this framework and I thought to be fully in stage green, I looked down on orange and wasn't honest about that at that time. I was reluctant about being in stage yellow and I didn't thought to be in stage turquoise at all. I take this test with a grain of salt though. What I think is interesting is that I'm more stage orange than green. The last 2 years I sought reason for why I was green and not orange, but in those following 2 years my wisdom increased and self honesty is now a daily practice. I notice that my awareness about how societal system work becomes better and better. It's now easy to see how complex the world is and how changing one thing has a butterfly effect on all else. My beliefs about being vegan contain contradictions and I am aware that I choose to value animals above plant despite both beings being alive and desiring to be alive. It's not as simple to say that eating and killing animals is wrong, evil and a sins. I don't want to hurt animals and I know that hurting plants isn't any better, but I still choose this option, because there has to be a boundary for me to function healthy. To me it's all about the greater good, the world as a single organism is more important than I am, I'll serve this world with my lifestyle. So instead of a green perspective, it seems that I have a yellow or turquois perspective on this matter. For a long time people have seen my as egotistic, because I like to talk about myself. People however are unaware that my intentions are helping them, but now I see that they aren't ready to hear what I have to say. Lately I'm paying more attention to what other people say instead of trying to teach them. To be honest I don't really care about individuals that aren't friends, family or people I regularly interact with. What I do care about is people on a larger scale. Trying to please everyone is impossible and not efficient. I don't like it when individuals start demanding things that benefit them, but not the planet and humanity as a whole. Again it seems that my perspective is higher than green. So why am I still in stage orange? This is a simple question. Currently I am still a poor student with dept and my value as a cog in the societal system isn't established yet. I need to make a living, a home and professional identity before I'm able to transcend this stag completely. I realized that orange isn't something to despise. Orange is the stage that will bring me a lot of value at a young age, I'm okay with it now, I'm okay with orange for the years to come.

It's almost a year since I stopped meditating (for different reasons), but I still have a "power" unlocked. I never had lucid dreams etc. before meditation. 5 years ago I started and after half a year I experienced my first sleep paralysis/astral projection. Since then I unlocked this permanently. It happens randomly, so I thought.... After years of random events that were all different, but had in common that it happened between stage 1 & 2 (paralysis/astralprojection) of the sleepcyle and 5 & 1 (lucid dreams). These random events weren't entirely random. When I'm sleep deprived or break my sleep routine chances are very very high that I will experience one of these events. I know what to expect after all those years. It's a very unique experience for the consciousness. It's awesome that I have these "magical" experiences, but it's not cool to have no control over it. A couple of weeks ago I experienced 3 nightmare paralysis events which were one of the most hellish experience of my life, as if I was under a spell. My sleep experience is almost as if I'm cursed by a dark power. The only antidote to this is sleeping in a routine. I blame my meditation for this, I did bodily awareness meditation for 4 years daily and I think my increased awareness unlocked the power to stay aware between the transition of stage 1 to 2 which to my knowledge only takes a couple of second. The lucid dreams however are always nice. I wonder if you guys have the same experience. Does someone know how I can control these random events or even better create these events at will? I'm not gifted at all when it comes to lucid dreaming etc. and I don't really know people who have the same experience. I don't know if I should see this as a blessing or a curse. To me these events are the closest things to magic/the paranormal. I also have the power to remember my dreams vividly and my dream world is like the fantasy/dystopian/adventure/sci-fi on steroids x 1000. I'm not sure if meditation enhanced this, I think it did, but I can't remember if the same level of intensity was present when I was growing up. Not sure if this matters, according to the MBTI framework I'm an INTJ, so I see the connection between Introverted intuition and my dream world. While I have this gift of remembering dreams, how can I exploit this for my own benefit with regards to personal growth? Thank you for reading.

I'm stunned, 183 is tall. I'm 191 cm and I don't see the problem with your height. I never had any benefits with regards to social life. One great downside of being tall is lowerback pain in my experience.

5 times a week, but I rather do it daily. It depends on my level in training, when starting a new routine it takes more time to heal. My training at the moment consists of calisthenics, gymnastic ring training, running and parkour. When the lockdown in my country is over I want to get back into martial arts as well.

Overnight oats -> there are a lot of recipes online

The only way to be convinced is when you have had some experience with it. That way you have a new perspective to compare with.

Framework: strengths & weaknesses To talk about my strengths & weaknesses I'll be creating a mindmap with MBTI as the basic framework. I score INTJ-T on the MBTI test, it used to be INFJ, but I'm sure that INTJ fits me way better. Down below is the collection of strengths & weaknesses. Some things might be in a different category. Honestly this was a fun exercise, I have way more traits written down now than I expected. In the future things might be added or changed. Introverted intuition The introverted intuition function is my most used function and, the one with the most strengths and least weaknesses. In summary my greatest strengths are creating visions, objective detachment, questioning, understanding abstract concepts and avoiding traps. My greatest weakness is detachment of reality Extraverted thinking In summary my greatest strengths are strategic thinking, understanding cause and effect, preparation and problem solving. My greatest weaknesses are overthinking, perfectionism and procrastination. Introverted feeling In summary my strengths are living according to principles, integrity and determination to achieve. My weaknesses are being very sensitive, being emotionally closed off, insecurity and not feeling worthy of love. Extraverted sensing My greatest strengths is my athleticism which I created myself without being gifted. All my physical powers and abilities are a strength which is a result from Ni, Te and Fi combined. My greatest weaknesses are visual stimulation like porn, lack of expression, sustaining a diet for fitness and postponing physical needs.

It has been a while since I posted something. The past 9 months I have been focusing a lot on veganism and fitness. Now it got to a point that I have a vision about my athletic potential. Currently I do calisthenics and I started kickboxing since 2 weeks. I was inspired to do this, because of superheroes. It's sounds cliché and childish, but I always wanted to be a superhero. Now in reality this won't happen, but having abilities that reach peak human levels is possible. All of this is self actualizing of the physical human potential or as I like to call it "physical actualization". I'm still young 23, but I remember Leo saying that focusing on sports is a trap when you are young. This is a very selfish desire, but what I want to do is somehow help people achieve a healthier life on vegan diet with fitness and mental skills to improve emotional wellbeing. I like to do this by coaching people. Currently I study applied psychology and I want to become a coach for people that have difficulties finding a job or training people within a company. That is different, but the experience will be handy when I start a coaching's practice of my own when I'm older and more experienced than I'm now. So basically what I try to say is: at the moment focusing on veganism, becoming a fitness god and graduating. After that becoming better at fitness and getting experience as a jobcoach. and after that using all my knowledge about my interests and job experience to help people get started with a life that increases wellbeing and health on a vegan diet. I just want to ask your thoughts on this. Does this seem like a solid plan or not?

An idea I have to make it more specific is to create a health center fitness facility that in short can help you make a hero of your own life and the environment. Some type of futuristic facility that is a stage green/yellow approach to fitness and health.

To all muscular men. Did you get more attention from women when you got in shape? Also more specifically men that do pick up. I like to hear how getting in shape changed your dating life.

To give some background: I was and am skinny. I want to build not only muscle, I want to become athletic and vital to the best of my ability. It's part of my physical actualization and I really like to move my body in sports, dancing etc., because it feels so good to be able to do all of that. It has nothing to do with girls, but if it's a nice side effect I won't complain. It won't be my primary way of attraction, but it can serve as an invitation whenever a girl sees me and thinks "wow an attractive body has he" and then when we talk she will get to know who I am and that I am as awsome as my looks. And people that say "personality is what truly is attractive" then I either have a shitty personality or those people deny the shallow nature of appearance. Appearance is what you see and if you don't feel attracted enough you won't talk to that person and that way you won't discover someones personality. People that say they don't care about appearance are either lying to themselves or in the minority.