Marinus

What about wanting approval is that a form of egoism too?

@Santiago Last year I studied engineering, so I had a similar experience. That's exactly what I had planned, because of my life purpose. I consider myself as a people pleasure and I don't want to walk into my own traps. @5driedgrams Helping them study, that's a great idea! Teaching makes you learn the subject better. @Spiral My ego would like that

@ajasatya Thank you, that's some solid advice!

@Elisabeth Thank you! I'm 20 years old and I'm going to study Applied Psychology. I'm not the only guy, it's more something like 10/90 or even less. For me it's the social setting that's so challenging, normally I was quiet and now I want to change that, by being more authentic. Thank you for informing me about the test, I didn't expect that. I think the best thing I can do is to stay true to my values. In your situation, did the guys test you too?

I’m curious about the chemistry in your head that’s maybe like the effect of psychedelics. What I mean is if it is possible to create these chemistries in your head without psychedelics, or isn’t it? I personally have never done psychedelics and maybe I’m too young to do it (I’m 20), at what age is it safe to experiment with this? In this topic, I told about a weird experience, which made me wonder about this: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/7505-scary-and-awsome-experience/ Can somebody inform me on this or send me some articles, videos or something else? I wonder what is possible. Thank you in advance!

I have gathered a lot of money, which I don’t like to spend a lot, because I feel secure to have this amount. Since I can remember I always stored money in my locker, until I got a bank account. As a child didn’t need to have lots of things except Lego. In my teens, I only spent money on stuff like electronic devices which I took care off, I’m very careful with expensive stuff. I also spent money on the cinema (I still do). Things like food I only bought when necessary, whenever I got to school etc. I prepared my food at home. Small things like buying a drink from a vending machine I rarely did, because the supermarket has it cheaper and I didn’t mind taking the time to get it there. When I made my first move with personal development (last year) I got my first books another way (if you know what I mean), but eventually I thought that an investment in yourself is worth it so I spent money on books. Today I finished the life purpose course and now I’m more comfortable with spending money on books. Now, I live at my own as a student and whenever I buy something I get it as cheap as possible. I value health so I like to eat vegetables which aren’t that expensive in my opinion. As a student, I loan money from my government to pay for college, because my parents don’t want to/ can’t support me financially. So, I want to save some money, because of the future debt. I’m very conscious of my money and I don’t want to spend it on useless stuff. My little brother made fun of me and called me greedy, but I don’t feel this way. My father is also very careful with money, but often he seems greedy to me. I also might possibly judge my father like my brother judges me. I’m not good with my feelings and motivations (I’m working on it of course). I don’t really know if I’m greedy with money or that I’m not materialistic with items or materialistic with money. What do you think of this and what is conscious/healthy money spending behaviour?

I am what I feel and/or think. I know a lot.

Main focus lies on psychology, personal development, spirituality & conciousness, strong healthy body and getting into a relationship. It aligns very much with my values, so I'm proud of this work .

I used to write my dreams in a notebook, unfortunately I messed up the habit process. I did this for 2 months and I became more aware of my dreams. By writing I learned more about my subconscious desires and this was very useful. I even had one lucid dream, a very weird experience. The things I wrote were vague, because you tend to forget things rather quickly. Something I wrote down that was eye opening is this: My little brother is chasing me and he wants to punch me to death, we both have super strength and we can jump high. He chases me in the neighbourhood and I run in fear, eventually he gets to me, he punches me to death on top of a roof. Then I woke up. This gave me the insight that I need to distant myself from toxic family members (other family members, not my brother). This made me move out and I don’t regret it. By writing it down I saw this theme come up again and again. I tend to flight instead of fight. This is what I used to do, maybe it’s time to pick it up again.

I'm from the Netherlands, currently living in Antwerp, Belgium.

@Lorcan How Do I Become Unbreakable? I Want To Become A Willpower Machine. Awesome, I have a similar vision as yours! The key is strong foundational thinking habits to begin with. You might be bombarded with ideas, writing them out creates a storage of knowledge outside yourself, which leaves more room to work on your habits. I have some good morning routine habits, I always wake up at 6 and I start by reading my important habit building notes, you train your subconscious to remember these notes and they will become your guidelines eventually. This is my current note: Five simple rules that make your game change 1. Categorize your wants I. Why am I doing this? 2. Self-awareness I. What am I doing right now? II. Am I free to do this? III. Is there anything else that would be a better utilisation of this time? 3. Audit your company I. Defend the quality of my product against agents of deterioration! (other people) 4. Start considering the consequences I. How do my feelings affect my day and life? II. Stop feeling the need of being important and happy all the time! III. Release habits of momentary joy and empower the right behaviours! 5. Stay away from anything associated with the word cool. I. The meaning of cool becomes what any person chooses it to be. II. Do what makes sense to me. It’s from this YouTube video: This makes me more productive. Every time I do something like watching snapchat or something, I will remember my notes and I become aware of what I’m doing. I will think about my vision and start working. Remembering is the habit and starting to work on the important stuff from that moment on requires will power. When you start doing your work, it feels like a small victory. This might be difficult to start adopting, but eventually you don’t require much will power at all. Something I also do is planning my week, this way you have an overview of what your weekly goals are. I recommend planning a couple of things a day with minimal expectations, over time you get used to it and start doing more stuff and eventually it becomes second nature, just like every habit. As Leo says ‘’take little baby steps’’. Your brain needs practise, doing something like this will become stronger then sheer willpower. Just like studying, who would be more successful, the version of you that uses sheer willpower to learn something in a day or the version of you that habitually trains his studying habits? Good luck!

INFJ-t I recommend to learn about the 8 thought processes instead of the mbti descriptions.

@Jhonny What seemed to work for me was making my hair wet, just like sweat your body will cool down. Water in your hair doesn’t evaporate quickly, the longer the hair the longer it stays wet. You can also use a plant spray to keep your skin moistened and even your clothes. If you are at your work, this might not be a good idea though.

@WaterfallMachine To me it seems like you want a deep connection with someone, but you also want to close yourself of from people. You probably envy relationships, because you have this inner conflict. People want what they can’t have, your inner conflict seems to reflect this to me. You might feel embarrassed by the idea of showing your deeper sides, because you don’t allow yourself to feel what you want to feel in that moment, like if it is a sin to feel. I think the best thing you can do is to begin with accepting your deeper sides that you are protecting. Your mentor figure seems to accept you for being as he said ‘’shy’’. People fear the unknown, so you probably feel scared, because you aren’t used to showing your deeper side. Remember that a quick fix isn’t going to work, only practise. If I’m correct then I can relate to your feelings, because this was my issue too. To me meditation and learning about the 7 chakras (mainly the sacral and heart chakras) helped me a lot with this. I hope this helps you.

@Max_V How about drawing your dreams? To me dreams are incredible fascinating and unique, so in my opinion this is something worth drawing. You can also go into nature and make pictures of creatures, the world of tiny insects for example. You can make a photo of it and use it as inspiration, this way it might feel more personal. Good luck!

You can only know if it works by applying it. Nothing in life is certain, you might dye tomorrow for example. If you want inspiration, there are many people on this forum that inspire me, so browse a bit I would say. My own biggest change thanks to personal development is more acceptance of my nature and self love. Don't expect the world to transform your life in an instant, things take time. At your age you have some big advantages and like brain flexibility and a faster learning capacity. To me highschool was internally very hard and that gave birth to problems I now want to outgrow. Actualized.org isn't a fraud, I haven't found that many people like Leo that give this kind of in depth and high quality knowledge , I bought the course and the book list, both products are in my opinion of great value. You still got a whole future for you, but time flies fast, so spend it wisely.

@Siv This forum is a collection of likeminded people from around the world and we can access this forum from our comfortable home. It is our intention to learn and help each other grow on this forum. Our purpose at work is mainly making a living, you don’t have much time to dive into deep topics, because you are there to work (obviously it also depends on the kind of work you do). The employers probably don’t know anything about personal development, otherwise they might integrate it into their company some way. At school people are there to study and are already in an environment where they (hopefully) grow. Personal development isn’t a mainstream topic, so you won’t encounter many practitioners. There are people who aren’t interested in it, but there are also people that are, they just didn’t bump into it yet. At my previous work I talked a lot with people about it, I could because I worked at an assembly line (which was boring). So out of boredom I wanted to work on my social skills and eventually I discussed the topic personal development. To my surprise many people showed interest and some of them even showed signs of growth themselves. Sometimes people just need to hear about it, that power lays within your hands. I hope this helps you.

@Mario I am impressed you are doing this work at your age, keep it up I would say! Anyway, my parents also responded negatively when I started out, though I am an adult so they can’t forbid me to do it. I recommend thinking about what you want to say to your parents. What do you want your parents to know about your work? Your parents understand that you are a child whom is not fully develop, so they might be afraid that you dive into very deep and mature topics which you might interpret wrong. They might not understand self-actualization, because they aren’t into it themselves and when people don’t know something they might get ideas about the content of the subject which don’t align with the reality of it. About resources, you can borrow books at school or library, find articles on the internet and your school probably has computers to access the internet. When you are longer at school they might be proud of you, because they think you work hard at on your education, though you are doing something that might be even better for you. I hope you understand that they want to protect you, because that’s what parents do. Good luck with this challenge!

@Santiago I totally had the same experience and the worst-case scenario thinking response. The first times I would just walk by and feel stupid for not responding. The times after that I just said hi with the expectation in mind that they are just being friendly to me, then I would walk away. That’s where I’m at now. The next step is of course engaging in a conversation, but I recommend taking things slowly, so you don’t punish yourself, because you didn’t go for it. For example, if the girls were a bunch of old people, would you say hi or would you freak out in your head? So, seeing girls as random strangers who are friendly and just want to be nice makes it easier for me to talk. You can also try to say hi to any stranger, until you feel comfortable enough to say hi to girls, then the surprise of a girl saying hello would become a potential expectation when you might be in the same situation again. Why do you think it NEVER WORKS? If you were with your friends and a girl walks by, she might feel pressured too, because it might feel intimidating. Of course, girls and guys are not the same, but we still are humans with feelings. Hopefully this helps you.

@John Iverson This is probably not what you are looking for, but I read that you can travel in time with astral projection, maybe do some research into the topic?

To me it seems like your drive is to understand things to a deeper depth. Sharing it with people is probably the part of you that wants to connect with them. We are after all social and learning creatures. Maybe you like the idea of seeing people grow? When I watch my plants for example, I like to see the phase s it goes through, from a seed to a mature plant and then finally the juicy fruits are showing up. The idea of being part of the process of such a creature makes me proud. The same applies to people. Your life purpose is very like mine, so maybe the same applies to you as well? I hope this gives you more clarity

Yesterday evening I had an experience like never before. I am practising astral projection for a month now and I had an experience before which I thought It had succeeded, but this time I am certain that I succeeded in something. I will get to the point, yesterday I was in the paralyzed trance which I master already, but then I focused on my third eye chakra. The last weeks I learned to trust my intuition and I thought something like ‘’third eye open, give me visions, I trust the infinity intelligence of my unconsciousness, I am greatness’’. After that prayer like thought I let my thoughts flow and I had the feeling that I was surrendering. Then my body was emitting much energy and the energy in my head become compressed in a circle like way. I thought ‘’let it be’’ and then the energy got centralized in my pineal gland (the centre of my brain I think). Then suddenly that centre was buzzing rapidly and emitting a buzzing sound. I had this sense of gravitation in that point of my head. The buzzing kept going for a couple of seconds and it ended with a ‘’plop’’ like sound and feeling. I thought ‘’my third eye is open’’, meanwhile my body was going nuts, my heartbeat was the same like when you are sprinting, so after that I tried to relax. I also had the another feeling of energy throughout my body, but because I was worried and scarred about my body I soon broke this trance like state. I thought ‘’one crazy experience is enough for one day’’. The day before that I had a party with friends and slept only 3 hours, so that evening my mental resistance was very low, maybe that was why this happened. This experience makes me love and trust myself more. Anyway, can someone who had this experience tell me what exactly happened? If you don’t have any experience like this then please don’t post any theories about it.

@Sarah Marie I only had a tug with buzzing in my head. Those cases of possible protection happened when I was asleep already. When I focus on getting my body asleep, but my mind awake, I won't have any success. I don't know how I did it, maybe I became aware of it like with DILD. Both cases happened in the evening right after falling asleep.

@Sarah Marie Wow so I was close to astral projection yes? I think I got two conscious Astral projections or OBEs. It felt like floating in a dense atmosphere, I couldn't see though, I could only feel my body. The first possible OBE was frightning, but the second time I was very calm, just like in a lucid dream (DILD) which I had days before that. Unfortunately I don't have facebook, but I am very intressted in astral travel and OBEs. Lately these things don't occur. Do you have any advise on this?

Do you people know that feeling that you get that awsome energy feeling throughout the body when you get pumped up? I can also generate this while meditating and in everyday life (since I started with meditation). However what I call pumped up is like a rush of energy while listening to music or watching a film (with somekind of emotion involved?), basically when there is an epic moment. It feels like chickenskin, but without the skinmuscles contracting. Does someone know what kind of energy this is?