Pelin

@Mal @Orange that was what I was thinking, too, only a bit scared to point it out.. Yes that might be your life purpose. And again, there is a huge community who feels the same way as you do, don't be afraid to connect with them.

@Orange right now your torture goes bothways, the torture you are doing yourself and the torture the world is doing to the animals of the world. I've been there, I was an environmental activist and a vegetarian for years, I watched those documentaries and I know how you feel. First of all, you need to know, if you were the richest person on Earth you wouldn't stop the cruelty against animals. You can do your best in your circumstances though. What you did helping stray animals is great. It's your best now and it's better than nothing. And you have to accept that there are sensitive souls like you here on Earth, but also very selfish ones. And some people will care about the starving kids and forget about animals, for some class conflict is the real conflict, for some environmental damage will be the only thing to care about. You cannot change the human nature, but you have to come to peace with it somehow and end your self-torture. What the others suggest is related to this. When you continue looking inwards it will be easy for you to embrace everything in life.

I personally like the idea, would have been better if it wasn't a competetion though. I would participate and challenge myself it this was in my country. What do you guys think?

Hahaha just the opposite of my husband and I hadn't been attracted to anyone like that before I met him. Let me tell you, words go a loong way. Use the right words and it will open all the doors

@Orange cruelty is everywhere, wars, environment, animals, dishonesty, manslaughter, everywhere you can think of. What I see is that you choose to see the ones about the animal world. Why don't you go deeper into this? There are thousands, if not millions, of vegans out there who share the same sentiments with you. And there might be actually something that you can do to stop the torture, but first stop the torture you are doing yourself. As .@Kenya and Gandhi says, be the change you wish to see in the world

June 20th. I went out today and bought some hobby-related stuff. What are hobbies anyway? Something to keep you busy? Something to earn money on? Something to produce? For me, it is a way into slow living because I enjoy eating/wearing/using what I make and I want to further my skills on especially baking and sewing. But I sometimes ask myself, is it just better and easier to find the things out there rather than making them? Probably yes, but what did Leo say, always go for the more challenging option. Challenging sure, but also yields a pleasurable result. So this is like my reasoning to go on with my hobbies

This is pretty new for me but in everything I do I try to be aware of what I am doing. It's like I upgraded from a first-person shoot game to a chess game where there are no winners or losers. In a milisecond I try to be mindful of my actions happening right now, what the consequences are now. How are my thoughts and actions changing my world. And when I am aware I use my resources wisely, I am more honest with myself, I am calm so it helps me to be more aware. It's like a vicious circle only not vicious at all.

I can't imagine any life purpose which can go against your values. Take a risk living with people who may harm you? I guess if you provide a more concrete example this community may help you in a more effective way.

@Andre Taking action is always necessary, but what I got from your question was action regarding changes.You're right, the possibilities turned into musts for me sometimes, but not all the time. Don't underestimate my third point Changes are difficult, it takes putting your heart out there. But trust your intuition. If the change is about to happen you will embrace it with passion and less fear

Years after years I keep returning to this song. The Beatles version is also good, but Patti's version is divine. Lyrics by George Harrison: We were talking about the space between us all And the people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion Never glimpse the truth, then it's far too late, when they pass away We were talking about the love we all could share When we find it, to try our best to hold it there with our love With our love, we could save the world, if they only knew Try to realise it's all within yourself No one else can make you change And to see you're really only very small And life flows on within you and without you We were talking about the love that's gone so cold And the people who gain the world and lose their soul They don't know, they can't see, are you one of them? When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find Peace of mind is waiting there And the time will come when you see we're all one And life flows on within you and without you

June 18th. Still too many goals for me, and am I a little bit uncomfortable about it? I guess so. Maybe I need to define my goals and then some objectives, so I will have big goals but small steps that bring me to my goal. Let's redefine my goals, again. 1. Simplicity & minimalism Why? Because I do not want to get distracted by the stuff that I own, I want to minimize the damage on Earth that I am contributing by buying mindlessly, I do not want to create stress at home, I want my home to be more peaceful. 1i. Declutter 1ii. Organize 1iii. A place for everything, everything in its place. 2. Self-actualization. Why? I want to be more mindful and selfless, I want to find and maintain my life purpose to live a meaningful life. 2i. Read books and watch videos. Write your insights. 2ii. Meditate everyday even if it is short and you cannot find focus. 3. Writing. Why? I want to share with the world, I want to inspire and get inspired by the others. I couldn't decide I will do it in fiction or non-fiction, though. So will try both ways and see for the time being. 3i. Read more fiction. Write quotes & scenes that are inspiring. 3ii. Write, doodle, create your story. 3j. Food and healthy eating blog. Think of a name. 3jj. Start writing blog posts as drafts before you are ready to publish your blog. 3jjj. Experiment with new recipes and take notes and experiment again.

June 17th. Such a lazy day! I feel like all day has been in front of a computer. But still I feel like a change is about to come. I have some ideas for a blog, not self-actualization related, actually about food and coffee. For this summer, I have decided to build some content around food, my recipes on healthy eating and slow food, and making coffee at home. If I can build passive income related to this it may turn into real biz, who knows? Apart from that, no readings today, no writing, just some thoughts and research.

Throughout my life so far I took massive action when, I knew there was an opportunity not to miss, I hated my way of life, the city I lived, the amount of money I earned and desperately wanted to change it, I felt something big was meant to happen when I took action.

Today I did a major paper declutter. I got rid of lots of old bills, worksheets and readings from previous training courses, scrap paper etc. I felt a relief because I'd been putting it off for months. I watched three videos of Leo, the one about goal setting was really good. The only principle I am not applying, I see, is to revise it everyday. It is so important. I need to get the courage and work hard for it, I admit that. Books. Currently reading three books on and off. 1.The four agreements companion book, to get a better understanding of the book, to gain more insights. 2. Wind-up bird chronicle by Murakami, haven't enjoyed this one as much as the other works of the writer, but will finish it out of respect for his other great books. 3. Zorba by Nikos Kazancakis. So much wisdom in this book, that it is hard to intake all at once. Probably will watch the movie and reread after I finish.

On beliefs, I was brought up in a Muslim society, my parents didn't care about religion much though. I was so influenced by my peers that I remember I challenged my father and tried to convince him that Islam is the "true way" in high school. At university, the situation reversed. I was still challenging my father, but having aged, his faith in Islam was stronger now and I had become a non-believer. Now, the situation is a lot different. I tell people that I believe in "the universe", like everything in this universe has value and meaning, believers look at me like an atheist, atheists are like what is this new age sh-- you're talking about. I don't care. Islam philosophy does propose insights, so do other belief systems in the world. I chose not to listen to people, though, and not to talk too much about belief because it is so personal that one word "god" has a completely different meaning and connotation to everyone in this world. And people do like asking about your religion. I just give vague answers and it is the end of conversation.

@Phrae I really appreciate you take time and read my -sometimes nonsense- self talk. Thank you You are so right about goal setting. I haven't seen Leo's video on it, I definitely should. And you are right about setting a reason. Goals that are not mindful tend to get lost in the way. And there are goals that not ourselves, but the society puts upon us, I think we should really take time and ponder these. Btw, I can't believe it's been 15 days since I last played ANY video game! It was usually the first thing for me in the morning to open an play a game. And for the last couple of days I didn't even think about writing about it. And beyond addiction, I was thinking today, playing games might even be something that the society puts forward. Like in, I'm a teenager girl and I'm a great Diablo player (me 10 years ago) That was like, maybe cool for me to think. Not many girls played video games back then, let alone Diablo. It kinda was a conversation starter with the boys. Even my husband, when we first met, gave me Diablo III as a present. What Leo suggested was, if you can deal with emptiness you can deal with anything. If you fill the void with something else, then there is the chance you might relapse.

June 15th. Yesterday I did a 25 minutes meditation which intended to open the third eye, that left me with thoughts and some fears. I think I am not ready for stuff like that, yet. Yesterday I also met some friends and found myself gossiping. Yikes! What happened to being impeccable with my word? Gossiping really hurt the people, I should never, ever, do it again. This week I am working on simplifying my surroundings, and it requires constant work + perseverence. I can do it ! (The picture of the muscular woman appears in my mind). Regarding books- I've always been a multiple book reader. Like being a multi-tasker. I guess it's not helping much. I need to let go of the books that I struggle and maybe-or not - turn back later. Instead I just leave it in the middle, start another, just to leave in the middle again. Single tasking and single book reading are the skills I need to acquire if I want to improve more quickly.

I think eating more or eating less is not the point, but eating the right nutrients. Listening to your body is cool, but don't eat too much carbs, then you won't feel as full. Eat a lot of nuts instead of of stuff like bread etc. so your body will get the essential nutrients. But if you feel too concerned about your weight please see an expert.

June 14th. Yesterday I couldn't do meditation, I somehow got lost in housework, laundry, dishes etc, and I realized I was too tired for meditation. But still it was a productive day. As a bonus, as I was invigilating an English proficiency exam, one of the test takers was an old friend who is applying for a phd at my uni. We met for a coffee after the exam and the talk was so satisfying. I reminded myself that I have many friends like this and all I have to do is spend less time with the toxic ones, the ones who always talk about money, shopping, diamond rings and worst, what others do in life. and care about my real friends like the one I ran into yesterday. This weekend I started to bullet journal to plan my days and so far it's been fun and helping me. I especially want to track what I eat and drink and how much time I medidated so I hope it gets better. Last week, without working it was so productive for me. This week I hoped not to work but they called in for a meeting so fingers crossed, I hope it won't last very long and I can spare as much time as possible for my inner development this week as well.

Maybe very personal for me, and it might not apply to everybody, I've recently found out that I gossip with only certain people. And these certain people are the ones I can never talk about deep stuff like feelings, fears, likes, ideas, spiritualism and so on. Then the conversation goes on like what our mutual friends are doing, any failure we can enjoy like a divorce or a failure at work or a humiliating moment. How disgusting it is, but unfortunately this is what happens when I chat to people I can only talk about superficial stuff. To gossip to fill in the void in a way.

June 12th. I spent today at a friend's home, not much thinking about self-actualizing, just went with the flow. Felt a bit disturbed about it though. These friends are not my real friends but my husband's, and I don't connect to them on a personal level. Yes, they helped us a lot but I do not know who they really are. But my husband loves them so for now I don't consider cutting them out. So little for today, it was like god created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th.

This just reminded me of Arya from game of thrones, who kept staying I am nobody for the last two seasons, referring to herself as 'a girl' and then returning to her family and her values and her self more powerful than ever. Consciously refraining from I can result in feeding it inside.

Sharing can be a great motivation for your next successes but bragging about your deeds and not listening to the other party might not be very desirable and might hurt the people you love. On the other hand, why would you share anything with a person who possibly has a jealous character? If you have genuine friends they will be happy for you anyways. Another thought, in the middle east there is the belief of evil eyes. People believe that the energy that comes from the eyes of certain people -might be out of admiration or jealousy - hurt some people, even to death. So they suggest keeping a low profile always. Mind you, this is just a belief, an intuition maybe people have. Do not be attached to beliefs so much. sorry if this looks like a stream of ideas with no organization

June 11th. Yesterday I had a stiff neck but it was fine in the afternoon. last night a terrible shoulder and back pain woke me up, I couldn't sleep all night because of the pain. Maybe hours of sitting, writing and watching videos caused it I don't know. I tried to do some yoga poses but they were too painful. I meditated for 10 minutes in my balcony, while it was hard to concentrate first with the bees/insects/dogs/birds etc, I felt grateful at some point because I get to live in a house which is so full of nature. I started to be mindful of my environment and I can say, I wasn't 100% there but meditation felt really good today. I started keeping a bullet journal for my daily tasks and goals. I feel excited about it, I think having a paper-form journal will help me keep track as well as this online journal. and no games for 12 days, yay!

I wouldn't want to be in a place where everything is so artificial. It reminded me of the humans in the movie Wall-E. Terrifying. And how will it affect sealife? I'm guessing not positively.