Pelin

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Everything posted by Pelin

  1. @Gerhard it already looks better! To make it more modern and minimalist I'd say make the background a simple white or gray without a pattern. Or try black, who knows it may work
  2. @Chew211 Hello there and welcome. I write a lot, at the moment I write in my blog where I talk about my life in general and my adventure in minimalism and mindfulness. I also publish small pieces of poetry, at the expense of sounding irrelevant I am also writing a novel, which is inspired by magical realism. I found that lots of ideas from Leo and people on this site are very inspiring! I could take any word used and play with it. I find it very refreshing. Although I know when I start to work in September I won't find as much time for my writing, I am trying to enjoy the moment
  3. In my experience some need just a little push (my mother) and some are ignorant as hell (father). I tried communicating my father the power of words, how nice it would be if he used more positive words instead of insulting. An example: I love baking breads. Last year my father was advised to eat gluten-free, so I decided to bake gluten-free bread for him when I visited him. This year I baked for him again, and it turned out much nicer. Instead of saying thank you, he said the bread I baked last year was terrible, in his words, like grass. So I calmly tried to explain him how he could word it in another way to encourage me rather than insult. But later I learned that he bragged about me saying I never understand him, he means no harm, he is just joking etc. etc. It is one or two incidents with me but with mom it is everyday. Like how she does yoga everyday and still haven't lost weight, ha ha ha. Great sense of humor. I realized how important it is to apply the second agreement: Don't take anything personally (from the book 4 agreements). This is not about me, it is about him. I wish he didn't hurt people but he does with his ignorance. But with mom it is very different. She is so mature that she doesn't even bother with dad, for example. She does her own thing. And she really enjoys talking about personal development and stuff. I guess trying wouldn't hurt. You might get a response like my dad's or mom's. If your mother likes poetry, I would suggest giving a poem book as a gift. And later you can discuss with her how she felt reading poetry. Maybe it will revive something in her. Maybe it won't
  4. @Muhammad I assume you have at least one year ahead. I studied English language teaching, but would prefer literature if you asked me. So much insight to gain from, so many great writers! Analyzing those books are analyzing the human psyche itself. And the advantages of a degree in English in a non-English speaking country are enormous. You are like one-step ahead of everything because you are fluent in English. You will probably find a job very easily, too, teaching or translating are much better than most jobs you can do without a uni. degree. In Turkey, lots of entrepreneurs have English literature or teaching degrees, I find it ridiculously awesome! And I second Sultan's advice, talk to your professors especially, they might lead you in some lessons or professors you will benefit from.
  5. I guess both. Whatever road you take, you can apply self-trust. We never know the end road! Either way you will not know how you will end up with. I don't know the university you are studying, but I would take the best out of university life if I were you. Take different classes (psychology, philosophy, arts, business, whatever you are drawn into really). Maybe do what Steve Jobs did, stay at university while learning something related to your life purpose. Being a university lecturer, I still believe there is some wisdom yet to be transferred from professors to students. You just need to find the right source. What is it that you study and what kind of education would help you achieve it? Maybe there is at least a small connection there.
  6. I agree with Mia that passion finds you, but also looking at your life and seeing the patterns will help. I always liked writing and sharing stories with people, I have kept a journal since I learned how to write, and literature lessons were my favorite at school. I really have a passion for writing. And crafts, oh man, I have tried knitting, crocheting, felt, beads, sewing, paper, calligraphy... It is a way for me to express myself. Not that I will earn money for them (at least not soon), but they keep my soul alive. If you feel like "nothing interests me" (I felt like that in high school) then you can check out Pinterest. There is basically everything for every interest, and maybe you will find out you have lots of interests but haven't named them before.
  7. I think it is very nicely thought, I have nothing to say about the content, and I see no problem with the question pages, but I am a little concerned about the visual details on the home page. When you open the home page, you cannot understand what the site is about, I think this is the main problem. I have some feedback about that. See the pic. for reference numbers and my great paint skills. 1. Put this not as a header, but a footnote. People don't need to see this first, they can see it after they trust your website and believe in what you do. They won't donate in the first hit anyway! First service, then asking for donation. 2. Your theme. It looks like 90s. You know those websites from the 90s that still run (like: http://www.ifindit.com/ circa 1996), it looks like those. Or the website I made using Frontpage like 15 years ago. You need to consider using a more modern theme, with more reader-friendly fonts. Designing a logo may also help; because people in our century are much more visual than ever, a logo makes a website memorable to us, something we can return. 3. I would suggest taking this toolbar above, next to login & register. That would be simpler and wouldn't take up much space. 4. OK, it is a nice Renaissance picture, but I think it doesn't belong here in the middle. I do not know anything yet about the website except for two sentences in small font size. And this is the end of the front page. And as a critical reader I am not intrigued by those two sentences yet to scroll down. This painting may be in your head, I guess that would make sense. It could be smaller, think of a facebook cover photo, it doesn't take up content space but it gives a nice background. 5. and you could have a sidebar on the left or right for the categories, it could be like when you move your cursor there you will see the explanations and subcategories. I hope this was helpful! I look forward to seeing your website thrive!
  8. Well I have the voice but still can read very fast, I'd say 400-500 wpm maybe? But it very much depends on clearing your mind, concentrating, your background knowledge, the language/dialect you are reading, first time/ second time reading etc. Also the genre. Newspaper/report/novel/article/blog... All require a different speed and time for contemplation. You could skim a newspaper and be fine. You can scan a report/ even a self-help book; if you already read books on self-help, you could skip a few parts after skim/scan. With these techniques your workload can decrease a great deal.
  9. @Samuel Garcia don't put anything in there that doesn't resonate with you. Like honesty always resonated with me, but being social and meeting people in big groups/ partying never did. I put it in the first list maybe thinking I needed to be more social, and it didn't survive to day. It is very personal, you don't need to share it with anybody, but deep core you know this is you, not someone else you are trying to be. Good luck in your studies, I guess you know if you made it by now! And remember, we are not confined to our uni. degrees or majors or grades or whatever.
  10. I would love to hear what your life purpose is, if you have more than one, whether your job/career is built upon it and any interesting stories you'd like share. For me the closest thing to my life purpose seems to be writing. But I have a long way to go to see if it is really my purpose and why. Just like reading biographies, reading what people's life purposes are can help motivate us and visualize ours.
  11. Can enlightenment be a life purpose? I feel it is nobody's / everybody's lol.
  12. Past experiences of course can teach you what you want, because of shallow relationships maybe you value deep and genuine relationships now. And values can change over time, we grow every minute so personal values aren't set in stone like a holy book. What you wrote made me remember to look up my list of values I made up 4 years ago and compare it with a recent one. Here it goes, the ones that are crossed out are not in my list anymore. November 2012: I noted I wasn't sure if I had any values left but I listed 6 once I started: 1. Enjoying life (very vague, right) 2. Family 3. Honesty (noted: never to let go) 4. Pride 5. Learning more 6. Connection (noted: less introversion) Now, having forgotten this list I made another one last week, and it involves: adventure, creativity, curiousity (aka learning more), inner peace, honesty, love, productivity, spirituality, health. It is much more individualistic than the first one, although I included love in this. I definitely value love and it is towards my family and the nature alike. It is great to see I let go of pride and do not see myself as pushing myself to be more extrovert. So I just wanted to show you values change over time. If you feel like these are yours for the time being, embrace them!
  13. Expanding your peripheral vision is important. Try these: and this, probably after the second minute if you are not familiar with yoga:
  14. Yeah spiritual enlightenment and European Enlightenment have nothing to do with each other. I think it might be similar to what you say in the first part, but it might be different for everyone, and it might not even require an isolated experience. One can enlighten a few times according to what I read. And I think it's true seeing people who say they are enlightened. I feel some might need a few more enlightenments to see the reality as it is. And I sure need a lot. For the second part, I'm not sure. There is still the ego as a part of a bigger picture consisting of "other" egos. There is "me" and "other" according to this. It's a bit like Chaplin's movie Modern Times, which is helpful but I feel there is one more step ahead of this. Seeing that me and other and the system is the same. You are the system and you are the actions. And you are nothing at the same time.
  15. @Silvester I've been reading Murakami for years, after starting meditation, I realized how he touches on solitude, meditation, self-inquiry/ meaninglessness of senses / nonduality in nearly every book he wrote. It's like he was instilling these subconsciously! But before realizing that I really enjoyed his novels too. So novels can both entertain you and help you break the boundaries, and achieve a higher state of consciousness. So if you like writing, don't stop! What you go through will find its way into your work for sure!
  16. @mystic I agree blood test are necessary, and not just for those who follow plant-based diets. B12 deficiency is a very long term thing, you could turn vegan and not have the deficiency for years. And an avid meat-eater might have it too. Iron is very similar. It's your body's absorbance of iron that matters. Again people who follow different types of diets may experience iron deficiency.
  17. I can't see how Nietzsche is pessimistic as well. Even God is Dead isn't pessimistic to me, it opens the path for non-institutionalized(is that a word?) spirituality. Let me share a small piece of writing from him: "For the New Year—I still live, I still think; I must still live, for I must still think. Sum, ergo cogito: cogito, ergo sum. To-day everyone takes the liberty of expressing his wish and his favorite thought: well, I also mean to tell what I have wished for myself today, and what thought first crossed my mind this year,—a thought which ought to be the basis, the pledge and the sweetening of all my future life! I want more and more to perceive the necessary characters in things as the beautiful:—I shall thus be one of those who beautify things. Amor fati: let that henceforth be my love! I do not want to wage war with the ugly. I do not want to accuse, I do not want even to accuse the accusers." I only know Schopenhaur on his views on solitude, yes he is pessimistic with regards to society, I think he is closer to existentialism. About Cioran I must do my research
  18. Try to eat as much nuts and seeds as possible. Lentils are the easiest to cook, as you don't have to soak them. Chickpeas are the most nutritious. Oh sweet houmous! Two good sources I refer to for food and recipe advice are, #1: Peta's website and charts, #2, the book The Flexitarian Diet. It includes vegetarian(and lots of vegan)meal plans and recipes. And youtube channels of course. Some youtubers' opinions differ hugely but "what I eat in a day" videos give a lot of ideas. Good luck! I can't say I've been quite successful as a vegetarian. After years of no meat I recently decided to go more flexible. I sort of gave in to my culture, but still try not to eat meat more than once a week.
  19. Yesterday in yoga class the teacher asked us to perform candlestick pose for the second time. For the ones who are not familiar, here it is: and then, I know I have the physical power to do this, but no emotional strength. I have a huge fear of falling. I've never realised it is something to care about, what when I remember my childhood memories (never learning to bike properly because I wasn't willing to let go of third and fourth wheels, fell multiple times trying without them), childhood recurring dreams or nightmares (which include being upside down as well),never having the guts to try roller coasters, and even the fear of going DOWN using the escalator (I managed to conquer it a vew years ago but still shake while going down). I have slight acrophobia, too. Now I have these experiences but is it really the fear of falling, fear of gravity, or fear of going upside down? I never had the guts to do headstands or handstands either. Even in high school because I couldn't/wouldn't do a somersault, I usually got low points for PE lessons (and I was a straight A student except PE). But surprisingly when I actually slip on ice in winter,which happens in winter a lot, I don't feel much fear? When I look it up, all the advice is for increasing safety around the house, avoiding the situations etc. I want to conquer it once and for all. Any experiences you would like to share, or any tips?
  20. @Allinthemind I do have inner ear problems, I had a major surgery back in 2008, and I don't have those bones that help you hear in my left ear because they were taken along with the inflamed area. But I remember the fear goes earlier than that. Maybe the problems in my ear were always there but only reached surface when I was 20. I am OK walking on ice but I tried iceskating, again this is the idea of letting go of the feet maybe, that thrilled me. I have the need to be safe all the time. Both feet on the ground. Yoga is helping me get rid of a great deal of it, but not all. and I'll also check the link, your site looks interesting. Thanks.
  21. Aand. While I was scrolling up Leo's comment on "doing the emotionally difficult thing to do" stroke me. We all know conformity is not at all challenging.
  22. Big changes coming up. And I am not sure what to do. My husband got a job offer from abroad that will make him earn a hell lot of money, plus better working hours and nicer workplace for the next three years. We decided to decline it because I didn't want us to live apart, and I didn't want to lose my job by going there. What would I be, a housewife? I told myself. But today, the company made me a job offer as well. Given I am a teacher, not my proffession of course. They offered me an office job that will pay nearly three times my salary (or 4? My maths is terrible). Now I am at a crossroads. So I've decided to write down pros and cons: If I decide to go, - I will have to change my career towards unknown. I will quit teaching which I worked so hard to get to where I am (I am an instructor of English at the best uni. in my country). I will probably not return teaching because practically I will have resigned from the one of the best private uni. to apply for the best public, and that one for an unknown job. So when I return none of them will accept me again, and the other universities are really terrible here, I wouldn't go near them. - I will leave family behind, who do not do very well health-wise - Never been very outgoing, so I'll miss friends but not that much - Will have to sell house and car and all those things. Yeah major life change. but also, - I love travelling and this will give me the oppurtunity to live abroad. With the money I will travel more, so many things to discover! - Will start my life over and all the excitement that comes with it. A blank page really - My husband will finally be happy about his job, he is great at it but he is always underpaid in our country, which gets him a lot. - I will be in a less stressful job. If you are a teacher your occupation really occupies you. You think abıut the students and their well-being 24/7. At exam periods you don't have time to even cook and eat proper dinners. My new job, which is probably human resources, will be less challenging, at least I will have my evenings to myself. - At the end of three years, if I find this office work is not my thing at all, and if I ever have the guts to pursue my passion in baking or whatever, I can start my own business. If I stay, with the money I earn, it is not nearly possible to start a business. Now they say money doesn't bring you happiness. They bring all these opportunities. Go figure. - Over four years my husband and I did not get time to get together sometimes because he has to travel for his job, or sometimes works till midnight. If we accept this, we'll go to work together and we'll spend more quality time together. I really enjoy his company and sick of being apart for a long time. - Besides all, Turkey is in such a state right now that I wouldn't be surprised if it turns into Syria in a few years This might be our last ticket out of this madness. All in all it comes down to life purpose, wish I had done Leo's course now I am really not sure if teaching is my life purpose. Well I love it sometimes but it mostly depends on the audience. With a bad class I hate teaching, even when I turn it around at the end of the semester. And sometimes I feel that being the boss, being the authority is not me at all. Other times I get thrilled by a writing or something my students say. They can be very inspiring. Is money worth leaving my job and my country that I call home for all my life? Everyone who I told has a biased opinion about it, but mum made the highlight of the day: It's better to regret what you've done than what you haven't, she said. Even writing about it took the stress away a bit, thank you journal.
  23. We made this with my mum a year ago, just like a list of things that made us happy that day. The list went on like, feeding the stray cats, baking something, drinking nice coffee with loved ones etc. The idea came from a study that said patients were told to write down 3 things every day that made them happy for a while and it eventually helped them alleviate depression. So we decided to give it a try. We did it for a month or so while I was visiting my parents and a little bit afterwards. Later I kind of felt that "doing" activities, or worse, "buying" does not make me happy at all. The list is a lie, like facebook pictures showing people having great fun 24/7. What makes me happy should be something different. So maybe chasing happiness is not the right thing, but being grateful with who I am and remaining positive is. And even though it means I do not actually "do" anything that would seemingly make me happy, I am content with where I am in my life path. (And mom opened the subject last week. She had stopped doing it too and she said something like an action cannot make you happy at all, if it is not in you to be happy. I am so grateful she is my mom, she is apparently more conscious than I am )
  24. Good luck with your channel! Lately I watched a video on advice to content creators and it made me eventually start my blog. Here it is: The important impact of this video was, I had the guts to tell actual real friends about it and surprisingly they are very supportive. I used to think they were going to say how silly I am, but even my mom said she was proud of me. So my first advice is, publish it on Facebook! Or tell your friends about it. And connect to other people on youtube, comment on them, subscribe to their channel etc. My second advice is finding your own voice and be authentic. Do you watch JP Sears' videos? I got the sense that you are trying to mimic his humour. If you don't, you should definitely watch his videos to see how you can blend in humour and PD. But this is not suggesting copying him of course. What I like about him is when he puts on a funny video he has this "ultra spiritual" look and you know what to expect. But even in the very serious topics he can make a comment and you never know if he is being sarcastic or not. The good thing about sarcasm is it is so subtle you don't differentiate sometimes. Try to find that tune. Don't tell your viewers "I am going to be funny now". Make it more sincere, like real life Also, you can plan your speech ahead and prune while planning. The more concise the better for the first videos. So people can actually watch till the end. Choosing the best daylight and shooting in front of a more basic background may help as well ( because you said you can't afford equipment for now). So sorry if it is too much. It's summer holiday, so I miss giving essay advice to my students I suppose. I totally switched to teacher-mode! Hope you will grow as a great youtuber!