Pelin

@BobbyLowell what is the difference between love and like anyways (not regarding the sexual aspect)? I don't even get the line "I love you more" You just love, or don't. There's nothing in between. With love, comes compassion and acceptance.

@Key Elements thanks a lot, I think what is holding me back regarding entrepreneurship is that I don't understand how finance works, and I can't go out of my comfort zone (that is, a paid job). But hey, maybe starting over in a different country, so challenging my comfort zone is going to help with that misconception of mine (that I can't handle money). I'll definitely read the book. Btw, do you have a website? I'd like to check it out. I do have a (mostly turkish) blog but I write every once in a while, and it only gets like a hundred or so pageviews a day.

@Key Elements When I'm successful all he does is to take credit for it. When I was in high school people all paid for private lessons, courses etc. to get into a top college and pass exams, but we didn't have any money for that, so I got into the best college in the country by working my ass off, I was ranked 100th across country. At college he virtually sent no money so I lived on scholarship and gave private lessons 10 hours or more every week. Now I have a great teaching job at the university I graduated, after working at some other schools. He didn't even believe that I would get this job, and after I got it he asked if I had a great reference or someone who could get me in there easily. After all this time, he thought I didn't deserve the job, so I needed some kind of leverage. It really makes me sad besides angry. I tried talking about it but he denies it and says he loves me and he is always proud of me. If only I knew what is causing this behaviour. Now I'm in the process of moving to another country, he's started: Why am I quitting such a great job? What if I can't find a job there? What if I fail? What if? I'm comfortable with failing, that's what helped me succeed, lots of failures in between. But even at age 30, he doesn't believe in his daughter. I think you're right that I can't change him, but I need to figure out a way to forgive him again and again.

@supremeyingyang I haven’t been to a retreat, there’s nothing like that where I live. But I bet your experience is accurate, the ones who talk know nothing, and silent ones have so much value you have to wait for them to open. I’m working on being the second one, although not successful all the time. I might suggest you become the second one, too. Let people see the value in you and approach you. Btw, on a lighter note, what Gandhi means is that if you want to raise people’s consciousness (in your words change people’s minds), first of all raise your own consciousness and act true to your values. If you have been doing yoga and meditating for such a long time, you should be on the verge of nonjudgment, and if you don’t judge people what is there to change their minds? If you are still judging (I know I am sometimes) then there is need for improvement on your part, not other people’s.

@supremeyingyang actually no. I have some people to talk to about certain aspects of self-development / actualization, but I don’t have anyone to talk to about stuff like nonduality and enlightenment. I tried, like you to talk about it. And everytime I do it I regret it, as some concepts and experiences sound really absurd to a person who hasn’t experienced something like that. I even sometimes think I come off as crazy, seeing how people look at me. But I am not a hundred percent successful still. I’ve seen that sometimes it reaches out and some of my friends have told me a few days after, stuff like “I’ve been thinking about what you said” but I’ve never actually had someone take this thing seriously. I guess I’d rather not talk about it, especially at work because some people will never get it, label you as weirdo and make it hard for you to focus on your work, both jobwise and developmentwise. about things like quitting smoking, meditating, eating clean... these are all just too superficial, and subjective. You can chitchat about them but don’t try to make people change their behavior. Accept them as they are, or you will suffer. I never talk about this stuff anymore. These are just ideas about practical life, and can be disproved. Don’t waste your energy on these ideas, there are lots of low consciousness people talking about this every day. Carry your work next level.

@supremeyingyang very old topic, but one of my first questions in this forum was the same. take a look:

@ajasatya thank you. I've tried talking to him before, but I was again aggressive and offensive I think, and that's why he got so defensive. At least I tell him I love him and I mean it, but sometimes I can't help but feeling angry. I need to apologize more often maybe, and forgive myself as well as him.

@stevegan928 I wouldn't probably continue a conversation that starts with me looking pretty. Maybe in a bar, if I go there as a single woman, it means I want to meet someone, too, but not in a mall. I think public transport is a good place to start, you could maybe talk about the bus schedule, something that she's reading, small talk. Not suddenly "I think you look pretty". If you only do that because the girl is really pretty and you want to lighten her day, that's okay. You say that and she thanks and you walk away. But if you say that for pickup, I honestly don't see how the conversation will go. Practice with small talk, with the girls at the bar, or at your school or workplace.

I really have mixed feelings about this book. The content is so good, but the fiction is badly-written.

@Serge To me, it exists because it cannot not exist. It's even like we invented the word exist to point it out. We invented negativity just to express it exists as our mind is still trying to figure everything out in a dual function. So, it leads us to inquire if it exists, or not. But basically, both of these lead to the same direction. trying to express truth using words leads to something like this:

TV has some really good stuff sometimes. Yesterday on a discussion about "human's search for meaning" I came upon an evolutionary biologist who shares really deep stuff. He basically says something along the lines of: Something to think about.

Doing what you love and being what you love: We focus too much on what we do, even how we do them. What we really need to focus on is what we are and what we become.

@Ilya You're very welcome. Every little thing you learn will open up new opportunities for you, and will bring you one step closer to your big purpose. Everything is connected, and your education is a great base for whatever you want to do in life. You're actually quite lucky that you're good at physics and maths. I am an English teacher but I wish I understood physics, I'm sure it would be a gamechanger for how I see the world.

@InfinitePotential that would explain why I lost so few hair over the summer (I was sunbathing properly for Vit.D) and starting from October, when the sunlight doesn't come in directly enough for Vit. D production, my hair falls like crazy. The house is like there's a cat shedding its very long hair! I guess I should supplement.

Devoting your life to your life purpose sounds great; however, it seems that quitting now for you is not a great option. After all, you can't really pursue your life purpose when you're rock bottom considering Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I would go about pursuing physics and finishing military service if that's the best thing to cover your basic needs right now. I believe life purpose is not about your self really, it's about how to serve the world we are living in in a better way. So, to me, wherever you are, whatever job you hold, you can pursue your life purpose. Even when you're doing your military service, you can change the lives of people you are leading. You can change minds and be a positive influence and still be an inventor. But your motivation probably won't be becoming the next Musk and get rich and stuff, you'll find your way on how to serve the planet as you get more conscious. When I went to Japan last year, I visited a Zen temple very early in the morning. All the monks were out in their plain white clothes, cleaning the temple and designing the sand garden, every day, time and again. If you asked them, they would probably say this wasn't what they signed up for. But because they carry on the worldly tasks so diligently, they are able to focus on the inner work more strongly. Don't forget the hierarchy of needs. You need at least financial freedom from your parents to actualize yourself. If the only choice seems to be the army, then my suggestion is doing it mindfully. Don't care about making parents angry (of course you need to take responsibility of your financial situation). Don't make plans based on your parents' vision of you, that always backfired on me and everyone I've seen.

@Leo Gura haha, I just wanted to know if there are some really valuable people around me but maybe I'm missing the chance to actually connect with them on a deeper level. I already watch too many videos on YouTube But if I had a chance to visit a guru I probably wouldn't miss it. Kinda difficult to find some real genuine people here in the middle east.

@Leo Gura Can be kinda off-topic, but I just wonder. It's so easy to see low consciousness, but what about people with high consciousness who are quite reserved? is there a practical way for us to realize people with high consciousness even if they don't want to share it?

sometimes you feel something is obviously hilarious yet no one appreciates it. after watching leo's last video, I thought (yes, with my mind) enlightenment is like a good joke. either you get it or you don't. it's so obvious you can't even make people/yourself see it.

@Samuel Garcia During college I felt that way, too. I had a few best friends (also roommates) but they all had boyfriends, they would usually spend 3-4 days a week with them. I felt lonely in the dorm and I felt lonely emotionally. After college it was the same for some time, until I got a boyfriend then it was worse. I'd started dating him just to see what it's like to have a relationship. It wasn't sincere for either of us, it sucked. I still learned a lot of things out of it, so I'm grateful. We have this body for we don't know how long, so we need contact by nature. But we also need human contact to cover for the things we don't want to look closely. To me, it was like when I started looking inwards and try to fix things myself, I got more self-confidence, which in time turned into relationships that are of higher quality. I just love unconditionally and some of it returns. I now have two real friends for life (and my husband) , maybe three more that aren't so close; but these aren't people I hang out everyday. We see each other maybe once a month, but the connection is always there, wherever we are. This is enough for me personally. When you cling onto someone, you start getting energy only from that person and you block the chances of encountering better relationships. Cry out if you will (I know I did) but be open. Give away your love, not just to a few select people, but every living and non-living being. You'll get some of it back, if not all. But I totally get what you mean, feeling unloved really hurts. Just the other day I called my husband's grandpa to say hi, and he said he really missed me. He never says that, and it made me happy to be missed. I really like him after all. It turned out, he'd mistaken me with his granddaughter, we have the same name. It really hurt that it wasn't him who couldn't show his love, he just never shows it to me. Now I'm not even his relative, so of course he likes her granddaughter more than me, but I was struck by the fact that this really hurt. So I have a looong way to go, not letting the external factors affect me so much.

@ahmet sukru Hi, nice to see someone from Turkey here I can see why you're disappointed in our country, but all the world is the same. Unless you manipulate people, it's nearly impossible to earn big amounts of money through art and music. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue it. Not everyone becomes Eric Clapton but millions of people earn money by making music. Some street musicians make more money than white collars. Side jobs may become a real job at the end, there are lots of examples of it, but you need more energy, more focus and you should learn not to care about the opinions of people like your trainer or your family. Haruki Murakami, for example, ran a bar and he wrote his first novel after he closed the bar at dawn. Everyday, he wrote for 4-5 hours in the morning and sacrificed his sleep. Only after he became famous as a writer he turned to writing as a full-time job. So it's doable but you need great willpower.

@Alexo45 great then, I see nothing to worry about. If you can focus on things easily, it's a great place to be. keep at it

@Alexo45 Are you sleeping okay, like at least 6 hours a day? Because I recently read about the relationship between sleep and psychosis (bipolar disorder, depression). I learned that manic attacks (which might last for months) cause an energy bomb, need to communicate and no need for sleep. All is well until you get into the depressive attack, which might be no sleep at all, or sleep whole day. If you get enough sleep though, it's probably not a manic attack.

@BobbyLowell I think both. Authenticity often requires open-mindedness. Can you become your authentic self if you are not open-minded towards inside or outside? It's kinda like: Only if you accept yourself you can improve. If you think something's wrong with you, you have the "wrong" personality, you'll never improve. Being open-minded brings acceptance, which will help a lot with finding your authentic self.

@BobbyLowell I rewatched the video and although it's old and Leo improved on it, I agree on most of the points. By surrounding yourself with people, he doesn't mean quantity, he emphasizes that. He means quality time, non judgmental, communicating. That's what I meant. If you spend lots of time with friends, but no quality time, you're going to become fake. My husband has friends like that. Whenever I try to open myself to them it just backfires because all they talk about is buying new stuff, cars and estates, living a luxury life etc. We don't click, at all. Then I become to lose my authentic self around them because I don't want to upset my husband, these are his childhood friends, more like siblings to him. But slowly, he also understood they do more damage than good and stopped meeting them so often. I don't judge them, it's their life and their story. I maybe listened to them hundreds of times, but I understand we're too different to help each other out. Most probably they hide their authentic self somewhere, but life is too short for me to work on someone I don't really care. Compared to that kind of relationship, it's better to sit at home sometimes with yourself, until you accept your authentic self. Leo also says I never have trouble making connections and making friendships that last, why do you think is that? What quality does he have that makes it easy to find a good friend? Contemplate on it.

@ElenaO I do, but in moderate amounts. Maybe if I have a light lunch I'll have a banana. I sometimes spread sugar-free peanut butter on a slice of apple etc. In summer, strawberries or cherries Some keto supporters suggest no fruit, but like you, I like fruit. So I eat in moderation. (+as I'm getting very little sugar into my body, when I eat fruit it feels very, very sweet. So, impossible to overeat) My advice is: Watch yourself, maybe food journal for a month or so. Don't just record pounds but also measure yourself. I believe everyone's body is a little bit different. We all have different tolerance levels, hormones etc. 50 gr of cheese in the morning, + 50 at lunch didn't do any harm to me. But you may be different