Telepresent

I haven't read through the other replies. I just wanted to say: return to "I". Contemplate "I". What is the difference between "I" asleep (the subject of the dream) and "I" awake (the rememberer of the dream)?

Try it. It's not just write what you think is true: it's deconstruct what you think is true. That's very, very hard work, and it takes firm determination. And you'll find, if you stick with it, that the rabbit hole of what you think you know is much much deeper than you ever dared to imagine. Of course it is. Anything you choose to do is ok. The idea that it isn't is one of those ideas that you believe to be true. 'Ok' doesn't exist - it's a relative concept that we both individually and consensually maintain to codify behaviour, rules, etc. There's no harm in just stopping for a while. If you want to come back, you will. In terms of Spiritual Autolysis? Start anywhere - anywhere - and don't take any answer the mind comes up with as correct. No idea, concept, or word. Question all of the foundations. And delete everything as you go on. Every time you do it it's a new discourse. That's up to you. I think, if your goal is Truth, that if you only meditate without any form of self-inquiry you're in for a very long and frustrating ride. McKenna is very scathing about meditation because of this, but remember that he's writing from a particular perspective and trying to cut through a lot of New-Age crap which gets people nowhere. Personally, my main practice is Autolysis, but I have meditated in the past and still dip in and out of it, but don't have a regular routine now. And I can see some pitfalls because of that: I often catch myself thinking without realising that I'm thinking and I'll bet if I had a better meditation practice I'd be much better at catching that!

@Pramit Recognise that every description is false. Then, whenever you find yourself relying on a description to think about this (which you have to, because that's how thinking works - even a single word or visualised image is a description, not the Truth), deconstruct that description and check what's underneath it - what it depends upon. That'll lead to another description you wind up using for a while until you realise that you're using a description, and deconstruct it again...

Great, good - so long as you know why you're making the choices you make. Beyond that, I'm not your mum I started writing a reply which I'll keep in below, but I'm curious from your response: can you give a primary goal that you'd like to achieve, that you think your anxiety is in the way of? Ok, so you slowly drew yourself into smoking as much as you do. Are you willing to slowly draw yourself out of it? As in, if you wrote down a timetable of cutting down how much you smoked, would you stick by it (even if it meant losing some of your friends? Even if it meant the pains of withdrawal)? Be honest here: it's you who has to do this.

@GTITurbolover I guess that's the point, isn't it? That it's very rare that there are facts. Even those things we think of as fact or true are open to multiple routes of communication. And if on this kind of board I already flare into argument... ...shit. How the fuck are we, as an internation community, going to start communicating with each other? Answers on a postcard...

Not to say you criticised me - which you didn't - but to say that this kind of discussion is a fantastic opportunity for ego to flare up and scream "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!!!"

@GTITurboloverNo, this is important: I took my opinion as fact, because I disagreed with you, and I'm going to give my opinion that little bit of leeway. Which is bull. And you know what, it's actually incredibly hard for me to have a civil discussion about this - not because of the political aspects, but because I get incredibly personally defensive about being judged or criticised. It's a MASSIVE ego trigger for me. So I'm hugely appreciative to have this discussion, and particularly one where you challenge me. It's a lot of good. It's a good lesson though, isn't it? How much we like to think we have facts, and other people don't, despite seeing the transparency of other people's "facts" but not our own?

@GTITurbolover Nope, sorry - I think I made an edit to my post at the same time you were writing this, much to the same point

@GTITurbolover I honestly don't know. But the relationship between Europe and Britain is clearly far more complex than Farage has made out and more than I can throw out in a quick sentence or paragraph (how you measure this depends on metrics, but for the most part Britain appears to be down financially, as well as in the realm of Human Rights, just by revoking its participation in the ECHR), and as nobody knows quite how Brexit is going to actually play out. If someone can offer evidence that the EU is tyrannical over the UK, then ok, but the general Brexit argument has never been one of evidence-based 'tyranny', more one of ideological drawing of law-making boundaries in Brussels rather than London, which given the UK's influence over the European Council, and the general anti-EU arguments being fallacious at best and false at worst. Given that most of Farage's campaign promises have at this point either been revoked, or played as if they never happened (see the £350million NHS campaign bus), I wouldn't cite Farage as a bastion of fact. As goes Trump, again, I don't know, as I've never looked at his books. But I've encountered an excessive amount from media sources of all wings and persuasions over the last 9 months to make me doubt that he is a business genuis, given how many of his ventures have failed, how much money he appears to have lost compared to how much he appears to have begun with, and how unethical he is as a businessman. Instead, I think he is an very good salesman (which I acknowledged in my previous post). Now, maybe I'm wrong on that. Like I say, not an expert and never looked at the books. But I'm trying to go from what I have, and the suggestion that he is a business genius is dubious, so far as I can see But, then, I suppose none of these are ever facts, are they? Only seen through various lenses. Apologies for being antagonistic - I'm really not here to make enemies, and I appreciate being made to challenge my assertions

@GTITurbolover I think Trump is an extremely skilled manipulator of people. And I think that is what's led to his success today. I don't have any particular arguments against that idea, and I don't have any particular ideological support of the Clinton / Democrat camp (I'm not from the US, if that helps), but I notice a couple of statements in your post which are not fact-based, such as being a big business genius, or of the EU being a Tyranny on the UK (debateable at best). I think you're right: Trump is an incredibly skillful manipulator of reality. Whether that makes him remotely conscious, or content, is another matter. I can't picture someone who is content going out of his way to win a twitter-war over how big his hands really are

@Whatev3r Actually, you know what? HELLO! I've read through the whole thread. Ain't I a trooper? First off, don't take any medical advice from a stranger on a forum. If your doctor has prescribed SSRIs, and you choose not to take them, please ensure that choice is through your own research, not through whoever the fuck chooses to post on here. Remember you don't know us from Adam: we can give suggestions, nothing more. As it sounds you've picked up another anti-depressent, which is good: please make sure you know what they symptoms and side-effects are not only of taking that medication, but also of cutting it off unexpectedly (as you were advised by another user here) - that sort of shit can be dangerous. Anyway, you're struggling to go out. And as it's getting into the winter, this can become a self-enforcing cycle: you stay in and write about being online, and then you wait for replies, and then you reply, and you wait for replies... (I know this because I've done it, a lot...) So I'd like to offer you a challenge: go out and talk to a stranger tonight. I don't care who that stranger is, I don't care what the context is: it could be someone in a bar, it could be someone working in a shop, it could be someone on the street, it could be a police officer, I don't care - go up to someone and say ONE SENTENCE. Even "hello, I have to say something to someone. Goodbye" is enough. Then come here and tell me about it.

@Whatev3r Hello! I haven't read the previous replies to this post because... I guess I'm lazy Anyway, all I would suggest is that there are various web-based organisations such as Meetup or CitySocializing which allow people to organise their social lives around interests, availability, and how many people they want to deal with. Local clubs also offer similar benefits. I'm not sure how much times have changed since I was 20, but I know the impression can be 'party or bust'. But I also know - from my own hindsight and talking to others - that a lot of us would have values a more quiet, contemplative space. Don't be afraid to make that space, even if it's just you

@SamEuphoria93Hello Sam! I wasn't entirely paying attention to the forum in which I posted this reply: I realise nothing I say has to do with dating, sex, or sexuality. However, I still feel the broad strokes may still apply if you're feeling disconnected, so fuck it, I'm not going to delete it! Hope it's of some use... *** Hi Sam, I'm going to suggest something that' not REMOTELY based in my own experience, or in anything I've read. Instead, it's based in the 1-2-3 step process you describe. Really, you've already chosen step 1, which is compassion towards yourself and others. For step 2, I would suggest anything that has a ready turnover of people who depend on you, but who you don't depend on (i.e. who you need to give support to, but you don't offer you support). The reason for that is that if you want to practice compassion towards yourself, I wonder if it's actually necessary to bear some of the brunt of that. So, from those, something like volunteering at a shelter, or for the Sarmaritans, or sometime which directly services others might give you some insight. BUT only go for a biggie (like the Samaritans) if you're willing to play the long game: if you'd rather test the waters, local soup-kitchens and other voluntary organisations always need help, and don't need to divert resources to train you. 3. That's down to you, the technique, and how it works in your own life! Please allow me to say thank you and congratulations for wanting to offer more to the world: it's always welcomed. Let me also remind you to take care of yourself first: so long as you are ok, you can carry the world. But the moment you're not, let the world know, and it'll take it's turn

@Bournebee Hello! I'm afraid I have no life experience to match your particular situation, but I'll match @GTITurbolover's suggestion that 'it will find you' - with the caveat that you are open to it, and not desparate. Desparation closes things, and close-mindedness (it must be this kind of friendship or NOTHING) closes things. So long as you open yourself to routes to find people - even if it's at a slight inconvenience - I don't think you can go too wrong. Of course, I've never raised a child, so please bear my bias in mind

Hi @Bruno, I've done very well by CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), which is entirely about learning to recognise how your behaviour and mental state are connected. To begin with, if you have the resources available to you, I would highly recommend checking out this kind of treatment (even if it's only an online course, you can learn A LOT) The best suggestion I can offer in terms of learning to recognise emotional reactions is to write them down. When you write something down, it helps you to remove yourself from the immediate situation: you can return to it later, and see things you weren't able to in the moment. So, for your question, I would suggest that you choose an area of life you want to improve: say, family life. Get yourself a notebook, piece of paper, or electronic doc, and make two columns: what happened / what did I feel? If you want, you can add a third column: why did I feel? Keep it with you! Every time you experience an emotion - good or bad - related to that category, write it down! Write down what happened, and what you felt (and maybe why you think you felt like that). The reason for this is that it can be very hard for us to see why we react to things in particular ways, as we get dragged around by our emotions. But as soon as we see it written down after a week or two... oooh boy is it clear! Incidentally, that's also why friends and family sometimes know you better than you do!

Truth is if you try to thrust anything upon people - particularly if it's significantly contradictory to their point of view - you're likely be be met with (at best) blockage, and (at worst) outright hostility. Think about what brough most of us here: it probably wasn't someone else saying "I can see your life is fucked up, and this will fix it all!" (which would have made us very defensive). It was much more likely a gradual realisation in ourselves that something wasn't right, and a search for something to help work that out, and for whatever reason Actualized.org - of all the hundreds of websites, books, videos, and products out there - resonated with us. Throw these ideas, and particularly Leo (no offence!), down people's throats, and they'll likely take it as criticism and resist. Help people to explore their own weak-points, and you may support them as they open themselves up.

@Peak This is the same issue that anyone with a particular hobby, interest, pursuit, or passion faces. Don't expect everyone to have the same passions that you do. Think about the bore who never shuts up about their stamp collection - do you think personal development nuts are any better? The problem isn't personal development, and it's not about wanting to talk about it: it's about holistically engaging in conversation, so that you not only talk about what you want to talk about, but listen, engage, flow with what is going through the group, and if your interests align and are right to bring up, bring them up. You're not their teacher, you're not their judge, you're not their guru, you're not their better, and you're not their window to a better world. You're their peer, with a different knowledge and experience set. Share, and allow sharing

Just look at how little Trump can handle a joke. Look at how little he trusts his own wife

From a purely meditation-based perspective, I think sometimes people confuse the spiritual idea of silence / peace. It has nothing to do with sound. You could exist in the noisiest environment and still find silence. I wouldn't worry about external noises

What everyone has said above is very valuable. The tricky thing with trying to improve concentration is that... it takes patience. You are not suddenly going to BURST into having a great concentration strength. It's like a muscle - it needs training, nutrition, and time to grow. So, similarly to exercise, you may benefit from some kind of motivational record to help see how you're growing. I'm not quite sure how you would do this for concentration (the equivalent for exercise would be weigh-ins, photos, etc.), but perhaps find a routine by which you want to improve your concentration (meditation, reading, whatever) and every day just write a one- or two-line description of how long you lasted, and how you found it. You'll probably find, after a few weeks, that you've improved without realising.

What leads to this belief? Not being aggressive, just curious

Is this true? Do you know this for sure? How has this been proven/recorded? I ask because I don't know either way, but something about it rings false to me. It's a bit like the idea that if you die in a dream, then you die in real life: how the hell would we possibly know that, as nobody would wake up to record that they died in their dream? I have a similar issue with this statement: I don't have a clue what my last thought before going to sleep is, and I can't report it because... well, then I'm asleep! Also I don't know what my first thought when I wake up is, because normally I wake up to an alarm clock and a confused jumble of thoughts which take a good 30-60 seconds to settle down into consciously recognised thinking. So how is this assertion recorded/proven? Even if it's based on what people report as their first/last thoughts of the day, I'd be very skeptical.

This strikes me as a great example of the terminalogical problem of the word "I". @dice, @snick, @leogura, I (heh) suspect you are all using the words "I", "you", and "we" with very different meanings. It may be tempting to say "you can or cannot such-and-so", but given the breath of interpretation of the simple word "I" why not check we're all on the same terms? @dice - you say 'you' won't feel anything when 'you' die. Strikes me you're assuming two different versions of 'you' there. Have you fully defined then?

Do you experience this, or does it come as a conclusion to a series of rational/logical thought-processes? If you don't experience it, then you're thinking it. Conceptualising it. The wall exists because your mind has decided it 'knows' what everything, nothing, infinity mean. Question those: open them up. What are they? Does the conceptual understanding of them hold up to deep dark scrutiny? Question everything, and don't accept any pre-packaged answers. When you reach a new conclusion, rip that one apart: find out what it's made of, and whether or not those building blocks are true. The posts you link to show a good approach to questioning things - just don't accept your first answer. PROVE your answer to yourself.

@Mr Lenny Hi again! I won't spend long here as I know I've made my thoughts known on another thread of yours about this subject. All I'd suggest is that, if your thoughts run away from you, consider writing things down.