Elisabeth

I have anxiety, maybe not as severe as you do, but it's been very present in my life for years, and after some work, it's better than it used to be. Medication+meditation sounds like a good idea. However, before you proceed to meditate, maybe you should relax. One should sit in a "relaxed" manner, at least to begin with, but some people have no idea how to relax their muscles, or not enough body awareness to even feel the tension. If you've never done that, start with guided relaxation. Yoga has done wonders for me in this regard. I went to weekly lectures for about 2-3 years. They had guided relaxation so I learned it, also some of the breathing exercises are designed to calm you down, and of course, the practice is all about body awareness. Body awareness is extremely helpful for anxiety. It hasn't solved my problem, but I'm much more capable of relaxing if I catch anxiety setting on. Any kind of working with your body is actually helpful. Sports is recommended (I don't like that one ), but I encountered this kind improvisation dance where you just dance to music in whatever manner your body wishes to move. (I think some Osho meditations work in the same way.) Helps to express emotions and lessen the grip of anxiety. I would add some of this dynamic stuff to your mix, or any kind of technique which is designed to release emotions. Unfortunately, no one can pick the best technique for you, and so the answer is "you'll have to try a lot of stuff and pick what works best".

Read a whole chapter. Then write down the main point in three sentences (or bullet points). If the book has 10 chapters, you don't get more than 30 sentences. Or be comfortable having 20 pages of notes. I don't see anything wrong with it per se, if the book was worth it. Or, reread your 20 pages of notes, and make a dense summary of those.

For certain type of emotional problems, this website can be really helpful: https://www.moodscope.com/ It has an app which asks you to rate the intensity of certain emotions each day, then gives you an overall "score" - so that you can see over time how your mood is evolving and hopefully catch early if you're falling into depression or having a manic high. You can even have someone receive your score by email (and reach out to you when you're low), and if you want they send you an email every morning with encouragement, people's stories, or some basic personal development advice. I used it for about two years, and just going through the emotions every morning helped me with my self-awareness. Then I outgrew it. But to anyone who has depressive downs I recommend it as a nice tool to start with.

Why do you want to do this licence again?

I wonder. Did two enlightened beings ever have kids? Because otherwise I don't see any way to do the experiment (Would probably not work anyway. I don't think people can grow up, let alone meet society, without ever developping an ego. But, as they say, if you believe something's impossible, don't stand in the way of people who are doing it )

@Anakin Glad to hear that I have been part of a forum focused on relationships for quite some time now. Along with honest communication and emotional openness taking care to "date" your lonterm partner is often recommended there, meaning that every couple needs focused one on one time, where they are not just problem solving things about kids and stuff, but indeed have time to focus on each other and go out/be romantic/try new stuff... You might have a little trouble backsliding when you get back from vacation to your usual routines. So if things aren't working organically, setting up a date night every week (where you arrange for child care) might be an extra tip for you. Good luck

@Anakin How is it going?

@Nadosa Thank you! I'm sorry you have to wait three weeks. Unfortunately the system is like that. You can also try this for the moment http://www.telefonseelsorge.de/ , hopefully there is someone who can take the complexity of your problem.

Whatever other methods you choose, start therapy. Therapists are not psychiatrist, they won't laugh at you and will attempt to help you with your specific problems. They can be great, not all of them, but mostly. Go call a therapist you can talk to in real life. Or ask a friend or relative to find you a therapist if you can't face making the call. http://www.psychotherapiesuche.de/pid/ersteschritte http://www.senev.de/branchenverzeichnis/wpbdp_category/therapeutinnen

@Nadosa I wonder. I just learned about http://spiritualemergence.info/ . Maybe you could find a therapist there who's not ignorant to spirituality. Also from what you wrote, I get you don't want antidepressants, but maybe short-term sleep medication could indeed help.

Haha. Actually, I chose the most common examples I could think of As for me, luckily I don't smoke, but I have a huge problem to reduce my sugar intake. So far, observation has helped with chewy sweets, I don't buy those anymore

You mean this part? It's written to be sensational, but no real issues, no It would be hard to outwit celebrities like Wheeler :D. His view is not taught in school - you can uphold an "out there" if you really try - but I guess (as usual) they pick the most conservative interpretation for the classroom. Thanks for sharing actually, the article about bayesian interpretation they linked ( https://www.quantamagazine.org/quantum-bayesianism-explained-by-its-founder-20150604 ) might a be nice starting point for me into the nonclassical interpretations and the names behind.

@haai14 I understand your question. I'm not sure if there is an answer, more likely you have to choose the approach that works better for you for every particular problem. Like, maybe you don't have much problem refraining from junk food so you can stop yourself but you absolutelly can't give up smoking, so you just watch it. Maybe there's even ballance to be found for every particular problem: you get angry so you watch yourself being irritated and snappy at people, but you stop yourself from actually attacking someone. I get the feeling my answer here is not very deep, but that's how I understand it in practice right now.

How long have you had this? Has anything changed in your life? (circumstances, medication, meditation... ) Have you had a parent exhibit similar behaviour? Do you hold strong beliefs about "how things should be", that are triggered by these minor deviations from the perfect? Just a few questions to ponder.

I'm sorry you have this trouble I have no personal experience, but I'm afraid there is. I have two friends who were into new-age spirituality and developed psychosis, and at least one of them consideres her episode directly connected to her reading/practice and doesn't want to touch spirituality with a ten-foot pole now. She said she was also unable to sleep for days while she considered "demons" real. She has a really tough time being on the medication, with weight gain etc., but she's absolutely not risking giving it up. I have another friend with schizophrenia who also told me that in order to manage her illness she decided to stay away from certain aspects of personal development. I'd like to hear something sensible on the topic from people experienced in consciousness work, I wonder why this trap isn't covered more often.

@Anakin Try working it out by being more loving. That might be your third option. Don't push consciousness work on her if she isn't interested (or at least forget Leo and let her find a more empathetic source ... in time ... not now, when she hates all of it!). You're doing your case a great disservice by pushing. Look, this is a generalization, but when a woman gets angry at you, it's because she's missing something . Usually your attention, love, care, support, emotional openness. What did she say - you're becoming emotionless? Have you also become cold and distant in your expressions of love? Did you pour all your attention in the inner world neglecting your relationship and your kids? Are you two unable to share passion for anything? If you want to keep her, show her that you care and offer to work on your issues. If you can. There's no point if you can't do this sincerely. Try couples counselling if you need help communicating, and overall, find out what it is that your relationship needs. I can almost guarantee that "dropping Leo's videos" is not what it is.

What is willpower within our psyche? And how to best use it. Is desire an emotion? Is motivation distinct from desire? Why do we do the things we do? Puzzled about where motivation comes from and how does it interplay with willpower. I always (well no, not always, only the few last years) thought that motivation comes from emotions. What we desire, we do. Sometimes we have conflicting desires like achieve something but be lazy now, and then it only comes to what is stronger in the moment. Rationality also has some saying in what we do in the end since we use it to evaluate consequences, but it's hardly defining. I told my therapist and she said that having goals and using willpower is distinct. So where does willpower come from? Is that a separate cathegory within our psyche? Is that something arising from the interplay between thinking and feeling?

As a women I must agree. Actually I never even really understood the concept of a friend zone. It seem guys think they have to somehow avoid being sorted as "just" a friend ... well, all of my partners so far (three rather long relationships) were first my friends. I don't care about looks much, I care about behaviour, I need some time to observe that before feelings even start to develop. So with some girls if you're not willing to be friends first, you're not gonna have a relationship. WTF ... friend zone ... ????

@Leo Gura How is "work" in this advice defined? Is that including the breaks (and things like talking to colleagues, basically time at the workplace), or is it the actual time of concentrating on a task? How much of actual concentration is it realistic to expect?

I'd like some insight on that too.

Great experiment. What are you studying? Look, I am not very productive or disciplined and have a ton of problems, but I cared about my physics studies pretty much and always tried studying hard in the exam period. I never managed to do more than ~4 hours of studying a day, when I studied 6-8 hours (which got stretched over the whole day by the breaks) I burned out on day 3, and didn't do anything at all for another two days. It may very well be that 4 hours is your optimum, if we're talking about real concentration here. It may also very well be that I never managed more simply because I never cleaned up my diet etc., but that's how it was.

I'm a tiny bit sceptical about the claim that your successful friends don't do personal development. People do stuff and don't call it "techniques" or "personal development", but it still has the same core idea. While it might be true that "don't do stuff like affirmations, visualization, contemplation, subconscious reprogramming, meditation, journaling, read self-help", they've probably done stuff like: educating themselves, learning business and social skills, setting routines and good habits (excercise, work), reviewing their mindsets and overcoming anxieties regarding the area where they are successful. You would not know, and they would not call it personal development, but they've all had and followed this calling to be better at something. Another example of people who "don't do personal development" but in fact they do are imho often religious people - through prayer (which can be close to contemplation, or to concentration practices) and in general striving to live a good life they sometimes get to extraordinary levels of acceptance and empathy. Now, if you're depressed you may need more journalling, reviewing your thoughts etc. than someone who's been born with a strong psychology and given the right mindsets in their family environment so that they are not depressed. You're starting below average. You have to at least get to average in certain areas of your life to be able to follow the examples of those who are successful there. Sorry man. But you have and you'll gain a certain advantage in other areas as you go through the process - you've discovered a whole another dimension than the one of success already, I guess. At least that's how I choose to view this dilemma. Do formal personal development if you like it and/or feels it helps you.

@Mad Max Any good reading recommendations?

And I totally respect your preferences, I just wanted to try to cover all of (well, more of) the options, just in the unlikely case you haven't thought about them. In fact (provided you have the emotional endurance, which you seem to have), I totally support you - I've been homeschooled as a child on a few subjects because we were living abroad, and I do find it time-effective. Speaking about that, I googled homeschooling, and while it's not legal in Sweden, it's legal in neighbouring countries - probably even at high-school level, I'm not sure about that. Maybe you could enrol to some open-minded school abroad, which will let you follow your own study plan and only have you come for exams once in six months or something like that. You'd have to study the subjects, but since you are not doing this to avoid studying but to be more effective - is it an option? With a high-school education from any country, the universities all over the world are open to your applications should you ever in life decide to attend one. But maybe you're pissed off and done with education, you don't wanna be part of the system in any way and you don't wanna go study any field which requires university (like science/philosophy/law/medicine... maybe IT... management is imo not there, neither is psychology... ). In that case, there's no point in researching other options, I just humbly suggest to be mindful of your negative motivations too.

@Igor82 Eh... I'm not sure if you answered clearly anywhere... did you decide on NOT going to university? Or is it possible in Sweden to go to uni without highschool? And, in those three years, will you be earning your money, or are your parents ready to support you? Have you already figured out what kind of business you'll be starting? I'd not be much concerned in skipping high school in favour of self-education (although I did have some good role models in my teachers there). But I'd be questioning the choice to reject university education. Depending on what you want to do of course - but in some fields of study the university programs are very densely packed with information and skills, much more so, than in high school, so if you want to get into one of these fields, consider uni. Did you ever prove your ability to keep your own daily routine without the guidance of school? There's something you'll have to watch out when educating yourself - it has high demands on self-governance, and it can be lonely. Every student knows that if they stay at home for days on end, studying for an exam, they are likely to get depressed. There's something about having to go to school which provides you with a) an outside motivation to get going with your day, and b) social contact, which, even if superficial, is extremely beneficial to most people's mental health. But it can be done and maybe you've got it all down already. Besides, your decision is not irreversible. You can try, and if you're happy with your progress, keep going. If not, you can always go back to high-school next year, or get a job. Also, there's most likely the option to choose some kind of less demanding high school just to earn your diploma, maybe one for working people that you can do remotely/evenings and weekends, and still pour most of your time into business.