Elisabeth

@Dragallur Thanks for the tip

I didn't have this problem anywhere else on the internet though

@Monkey-man So you have experienced this? Wanna share your purpose? Also, what makes you think that it's not just your individual experience, that everyone has a purpose like this?

Thanks. As you don't seem to want advice, can we help you in any way? What is it that you're trying to get out of writing the post?

I can deal with the 1-2 days before menstruation when I'm most sensitive (which looks like irritability and depression if unrecognized - but what are you irritable about?) - I may feel shitty, but it's an invitation to feel, introspect and rest more than any other time of the month. I might get an insight about what's the most urgent issue in my life right now. Then I've got the next ~10 days when I'm rather positive and energized to start taking action. What I don't know how to deal with is week 3 (or rather, the 'bigger half' of the cycle) when I'm usually really low energy and generally unmotivated.

It might help if you actually shared the link.

That's interesting! I may have to find out if that's true for me. My downsides to caffeine (as far as I can tell): definitely addicted (withdrawal fatigue any day I don't drink it), a sour taste in my mouth and probably not good for my stomach. The upside: being able to get a hit of energy at the time I need it (at work), thus a distribution of concentration throughout the day that's more useful to me Another personal upside is I can socialize at tearooms and drink black tea in the afternoon if I drink coffee regularly ... the one time I tried to get off of it I got really sensitive to caffeine and couldn't sleep after tea. I really missed it.

So where exactly did authenticity get lost? I wonder about your zone of genius actually, and I second the question of HII. How do you know that "communicating unique perspectives about life creatively" is your forte, if you haven't done much of it? Also, I miss the thing you wanna master. But I'm kind off in the same place as you, still stuck at the impact statement. I suspect I have to factor in other perspectives on finding a life purpose then Leo's.

I second the recommendation on the breathing exercise. Despite being out of the worst depression, my will and energy are pretty low. I can't make myself exercise everyday (or so I thought). I can't make myself eat well. I don't care enough. But I can myself make take 30 deep breaths in the morning, and when I've started I can also do more rounds of the breathing, a bit of exercise and (sometimes) even the cold shower. At least it's been working for the past two weeks since I've started. Breathing can actually make me ecstatic at times and has all sorts of effects on my emotions and energies which I have yet to explore better. But I don't think I could have made it a habit two years ago. You have to search for whatever small change is doable for you.

Be more subtle. If you have the possibility to see someone multiple times (like at the gym), don't "approach". Talk to her, offer help, be kind or funny and watch for signs of affection. If she does seem to like you, wait one more times (at least) and if she's still friendly at the next opportunity, only then ask her out (or whatever approaching you're doing). If she indeed liked you - or rather, thought about you in that way - she will have fantasized about the what if's, and she'll be more able to give you a proper 'yes', 'no', or 'not now'. If she didn't think of you that way, she may still be confused. Take that as a no. You'll still get a lot of no's, but at least you know that it's not just a 'no because of bad mood' or 'no because I don't make fast decisions'. You know that pushing further would be harassment.

No. Change comes about from our willingness to change. Willingness to change can, but need not necessarily, come from suffering. We shouldn't be avoiding suffering if it's necessary for a meaningful purpose though.

There's a balance to be found between running away from the trigger, and working on your feelings to not get triggered. If you feel like becoming more independent and not live with him/family, so that you don't have to compare yourself all the time, maybe it's a thing you have to do. Cutting all contact would probably be a bit over the top

How is your relationship with him? Do you like each other, does he respect you? Or does he lie to you and manipulate you just as he did with his job interview? I'm asking because, honestly, this could be just envy, or you could be dealing with a toxic manipulative person.

I agree that without leo there would be no chance for the rationally-minded me to learn about spirituality in a way that would make any sense at all. I like his real-experience video best, though: https://www.actualized.org/articles/what-is-god It's more convincing to me.

I'm all in for that approach. It's very likely that the practice is different for everybody. I just want to say from the limited experience I had with tantra that 1) They always couple this kind of masturbation with breathing/energy work, so maybe that's a factor in alleviating some of the discomfort and risks 2) Our teacher at least certainly was not as strict as to say never release (actually he said 'hey, we're beginners, don't worry about it too much') My -really inconsistent- experience with this practice was, that even if you do finish after all, the extra energy does expose your emotional blockages (so that the next few days you get triggered by ~something~ and have to work through it), and it's a relatively gentle and fun way of personal development. So as you see girls can do this too, but it's not as powerful for us as for guys unless we learn to stop the menstruation cycle by breathing techniques. Which likely is a little dangerous and I haven't tried, yet I was pretty amazed to hear that's even possible.

No-one can tell. But it will help you self-reflect if you go for it. It's designed to help you answer the questions of "what should I do (with my career) and how?". Then you have to still implement the habits, but hopefully, you have more of a reason to do so.

I didn't finish it, got stuck half-way through the practical exercises. But the theory is still helping me in what I do now (academia), put my mind more at ease with the mastery process taking tiiiime...

Oh no, I wrote a longer answer and lost it. Does anyone know why a single backspace or even an enter sometimes erases the whole paragraph? Yes, that's what I'm saying. Your task in not hard, but can be a bit slow. Find places/activities/people you like. There's a snowball effect. You find one person/group you like, and they invite you to stuff you might like too. Good luck

Yeah, I'm doing discreet advertisement, lol Glad to hear you're out of your funk. At least you know that's for real... well... the photos tend to be rather fake actually

I remember reading somewhere (not sure about the source) about how friendships originate from repeated spending time together. That's why it's easy to make friends in school and hobbies, and hard at one-time events: the sympathies just don't stick. This also means, that no matter where you try to make friends, it will unfortunately take some time. I think you have to just follow some of those new passions of yours and have trust that it will play out. School. Meditation group. Book club. Whatever is your thing. Go there for the activity, and slowly you'll also start to like the people. Or let people invite you to different activities and stick where you feel good in the group. Although the age-gap is a beast, I agree. Let me see. I'm likely not quite as out of the ordinary way of life as you, on the other hand, I never liked drinking and partying in the first place. I found some self-actualizing people at science-fiction conventions (the writers, not the gamers). I met a lot of them at tantra, but there was the 40+ problem. I found some pretty cool people among the shibari community (although it has been a little difficult to come close, because everyone including me has got these busy lifestyles). I'm also part of a band that makes tolkien-inspired songs - I wouldn't call these people necessarily self-actualizing, but the activities we do are not low-consciousness. I'm saying this to show that it's not so hard to find some middle-ground between drinking and partying and hardcore self-actualization and the opportunities are very diverse; but it does take time to be firmly rooted in such groups, for me, years in fact.

It's one afternoon. Not a problem. None of us can tell from your brief description what kind of state you're in. I had all kinds of disinterested states, and it's true they are uncomfortable. I remember one morning when I woke up not wanting anything, but for wanting to want something. It doesn't sound bad, but it really was. An absolutely hollow feeling. Eventually I had to pee , which got me out of that state. These states pass. Give yourself a break.

How long has this been the case? Have you had any good reasons to be overly tired?

Have you considered teaching music improvisation, more accurately, teaching other people how to express themselves through music? There are levels of authenticity, most people will never arrive at enlightenment, but a good improvisation session could still be cathartic to many.

I'd be asking... is it because they didn't like your lifestyle, or is it because you made their preferences look bad? Did you show compassion or contempt? If you'd like to meet some of these old friends, would you be willing to meet them at their level? (I'm obviously not telling you to drink, just... not judge.) Maybe your growth was genuinely so quick that there's literally no-one from your old circles that you can meet in a pleasant way, but maybe there's something to improve in the way you relate.

You trust your girlfriend to maintain her own boundaries and not let him into her pants. She's told you that there's nothing to fear. You can ask her if she needs help with him calling her names she doesn't appreciate, and if she sais yes, you could tell him a few words. Since she told him to stop and he didn't, he's basically harassing her. If she doesn't want help, back to point one. You trust her to handle her own relationships.