Elisabeth

Interesting, I'll follow. What's your field?

Would it be possible next time to snap out of panic enough to tell your bf that you're taking a sleeping pill and cancelling your date? Because it seems that now knowing what happened is what freaked him out. Understandably, I'd say.

... and I have to tell you because I can't stop thinking about it So I was just randomly browsing job offers, and there was an unusual one: A small nonprofit networking other nonprofits regardless of their particular area of impact. I immediately thought it's a good endeavour, and I went to the nonprofit's website, read about their values and mission and thought "wow, yellow". The job they offer is to network leaders of non-profit organizations across the "Visegrád Four". (At first I didn't realize this was the case, I thought I could start in just Czechia ) I applied, and amazingly, was considered, because of my experience with personal development and facilitating small groups. (Btw. the director absolutely knows Spiral dynamics and subscribes to Wilber's "integral" vision.) I have no experience with either the non-profit sector, the V4 region, networking organizations, evaluation of projects, or organizing big events, and the little I know about Hungarian politics is scary. i was totally honest about my (lack of) experience at the interview. Since then I'm thinking. It's likely they will take someone else, but what if they do call back? Could I take this challenging endeavour on, or is that too much of a jump? Will I be able to facilitate communication between leaders of foreign NGO's operating in a harsh political climate??? I'm a good listener and often I can point out the important, but generally, I tend to be kinda shy in communication. Do I want to travel every month? Also, I haven't been interested in politics very much so far - that would have to change, and I don't know if it would bother me to follow all the trouble closely (as has been the case so far), or if I'd be able to take it as a necessary and interesting part of work. It's clear that this is potentially way more impactful and meaningful than the phd in physics that I'm doing now. But I'm unsure whether I would be able to rise to the challenge. Comments welcome.

It's "spiral dynamics" stage yellow, and it's rather rare to find organizations this advanced. Of course, labeling this one as yellow is based just on my own understanding of the model.

@Omni Thanks a lot for your post, especially the bit about these being my expectations is spot on. I somehow knew, but I still need to hear that. My purpose is still at the making. I think I need more real-world experience. I have some experience with groups. I have made at least two posts here on the forum about my search for purpose (the first one is more a result of contemplation, the second one is a bit more of a momentary mood, but still somehow true)

Nope, something else. Could be still green though, yeah. I didn't get the position yet, so don't worry

@Aquarius Yes please. Tell us about the "accidental" overdose. That does not sound healthy either Are you ok now?

@Strangeloop I think the thing you are hinting at is where your subconscious doesn't really recognize a negative sentence. So you shouldn't use them in affirmations and other techniques trying to influence your subconscious. But don't worry, your neocortex/waking mind is perfectly capable of recognizing a no.

Yes. Go for money and status, just temper the worst exploitative excesses you might be inclined to do. Getting a business or a job might be enough to get you interested in the next level.

@Preety_India What Leo sais is good. You can also try to change the communication style by setting boundaries. If he shames you, you can point it out and insist that you are bothered by this, even if he tries to downplay it all. Be consistent, don't let shaming remarks slide just because you don't want to "ruin" the moment by conflict. If he's unconscious of what he's doing yet willing to change, he may learn from this. He may also react badly and escalate his violence. Then you know for sure it's time to leave. Of course, leaving right away is alright too, if you're not happy in the relationship overall.

Hi, I'm thinking about preparing a lecture about spiral dynamics, or perhaps adult development in general, so as to spread the message. However, citing Don Beck's books as the only source for spiral dynamics knowledge doesn't seem quite convincing. Has the SD model been confirmed by further research in the last two decades? Or is it a one-man show? I know Ken Wilber supposedly wrote a book comparing different developmental models - which one is it? Should I perhaps take some kind of a more mainstream view on cultural development than the (trademarked) spiral dynamics? Leo has talked at length about how SD is relevant to American politics, but how about Europe, and post-communist countries especially? Are there any books which apply spiral dynamics to the development in the former "eastern block"? Is there any literature on how to help societies transcend into more green and yellow? Thanks a lot

I asked my facebook friend, who's like the head of a sociological institute, if he's ever heard about Clare Graves or Spiral dynamics, and... guess what, he hasn't. It's probably really fringe ideas. I know SD is known in coaching circles, and maybe Ken Wilber is better known in USA, but nope, not our sociology. Knowing how academic research works today, I'm not surprised - you can't take on broad bold subjects, because you have to deliver quick results.

@Dan502 The thing is, we have a very bottom-up new political party in Czech Republic. They are getting a lot of conscious politics right, I would say a lot of their base is still orange(-green), but the leaders aspire to green-yellow. I thought it would be totally cool if at least some people in that party had this tool at their disposal. I don't know exactly how to reach that audience yet, but they have platforms such as "open university" where anyone can speak, so it might be doable. However it's probably not going to happen, as I'm extremely nervous Maybe I'll try a 'safer' audience of people who I know first to get some confidence, or I'll find a communication channel which doesn't involve my public speaking on a topic where I'm still shaky.

@Girzo Thank you! @Leo Gura Thank you too. Yes I still seek authority. It's partly because I'm afraid to speak. I know dismissive reactions will come, and I can't stand my ground. Of course, this could be because my understanding is not deep enough. Even if there is not a wide consensus, I was hoping to see at least some new supporting evidence from academic circles - spiral dynamics being around for 20+ years.

I got some of my answers from this website http://www.integratedsociopsychology.net/ The author makes an effort to compare the different developmental models out there and comments on discrepancies. Seems some of them are sorta kinda in agreement. But she will admit there hasn't been enough research, and stuff is unclear - even stuff like whether you can skip stages. Even stuff like whether Maslow's pyramid is a valid model, i.e. whether higher needs only emerge when lower needs are satisfied and whether they emerge in the same order in all people (she hints they probably don't). I find myself torn between "I knew it, the model(s) can be trusted", and "I knew it, the model(s) can't be trusted". Like, yeah, the overall picture is interesting, but some of the most suspicious parts? Serious researchers have also questioned them and came up with contradictions to the original claim. It seems to me psychological "rules" never ever apply to everyone. The most questionable claim of spiral dynamics - to me it is still this connection between culture and the individual. I suspect the link between cultural history & competing stages in the contemporary world & and individual development isn't quite working. After all if you're born to green parents, you'll probably never go the same kind of orange as someone who wasn't in touch with green. But maybe I don't understand it right.

I think what they do in my area is select the "peer consultants" well, give them some basic training, and supervision - really important. Over here it's probably funded either by the government or by EU grants. So there are some real psychiatrists or psychologists looking over for the program, and some money available both for the consultants and the medical people involved. But I mean, someone had to have the idea, engage the people, apply for the grants. And maybe you'll figure out other ways of financing. There are also self-help organizations less tied to medical professions, AA being a well known one, but I also know about one for people with social anxiety, for eating disorders, etc. There's probably good knowledge available.

@wk197 The thing is, a big age difference is not always a problem, but in some cases, it amplifies or induces abusive relationships dynamics. If your partner is much older, there is almost automatically a power differential introduced into your relationship: the opinion of the "more experienced" matters more, the older one tends to have more money and possessions, somehow they are the one setting the tone. That's why not-so-healthy men who want to be in control will date young girls who can be influenced easily. Even if both people are healthy and well-intentioned, the power differential is definitely something to be conscious about, because if you aren't, you can fall into abusive patterns by accident. An age difference of 10 years is not much of a problem if you are 25 and out of school and your partner is 35, but if you're 18 and don't make any money of your own yet and your partner is 28 and confident... yeah, there can be some problems.

Actually I do have one idea that you could also use, there's a "peer to peer" program at our local mental hospital where ill people can talk to someone more experienced who have been battling mental illness for quite some time. If that appeals, maybe you could start a program like that.

It's really about pronunciation, you swallow whole syllables The content I don't know, I didn't watch the whole video, sorry. Good luck in your endeavours.

@Consept It's a viable life purpose to help OCD people for sure. It's also sounds like a good idea to talk about other topic you're experienced in on your youtube channel, if you'll have one. You may want to think about other ways of actualizing your purpose too. I started watching one of your videos but found it strenuous, I didn't understand all of what you are saying. I'm not a native speaker and may get used to your particular accent if I try hard enough, I'm just letting you know.

I hear a very different (clearly also biased/incomplete) picture. The Turkish offensive is a genocide of Kurds (there is longstanding animosity between them). The Kurds have fought against the Islamic state alongside with US military, who has now decided to let them down. Politicians across Europe didn't do anything, effectively sacrificing Kurds because Turkey is our "ally" in NATO holds a strategic border... or for some reason... and we all are deeply ashamed.

I'm unsure - I understand it's not a job offer yet, just invitation to an interview? If so, I would go to the interview for practice reasons. Of course, it's ok to decline a job offer. A fear of missing out, saying no, or losing money is normal. It's also ok to think "what would they have to offer me, so that it's worth working for them?" This could be part-time, home office, some kind of a tweak in the kind of work you do, some kind of education, anything. Be genuine, try to bargain for it. If they say yes, great. If they say no, you don't take the job. If there's nothing that would make it appealing to work there, well, that's your answer.

@FractalFlux Depending on the law of your country and city, you - well, actually not you, but Leo - also might get into trouble for illegal advertising. There tend to be only specific (paid) areas where advertisement is allowed in a city.

Acting immediately came to my mind. In a classical play, or any new artform. See what kind of stage art there is, it's a lot. Also, you may use your wish to express yourself in public speaking, like being a moderator of a show.

Thomas Hübl seems to be a German mystic and teacher with a focus on collective trauma.