stevegan928

Here's another post, I didn't exactly realize how much time went by. But I figured it had been more than a week. Since we last talked I did like 5 minutes of meditation and a cold shower, did better on my diet a few days, also asked a girl from my work on a date. I'm not happy with myself that I haven't posted anything on here, not happy with myself in general really. I've tried nothing, everything works.

@Mighty Mouse who is JM?

Y'all ready for some honesty? Today I listened to interviews from the creators of Rick & Morty, went to work, ate bad non-vegan food (yeah I'm not actually vegan), got home and watched some MMA. The only thing you could consider close to personal development is me writing this. I'll do a quick (seconds long) little meditation before I knockout I guess. I actually wonder If I could get in trouble for posting stuff on here that Isn't PD based, but then again do y'all remember that girl who had a sex diary? That was fun to read! I hope she's doing well right now with a nice guy who keeps her excited. I've been making more attempts recently to humanize women more and not just see them as sexual objects, I'm speaking of random girls I see at work and such, It's easy for me to just stare at an ass and imagine doing dirty things to some girl I hardly know, I try to catch myself staring and think more loving thoughts of her instead, that's someone's daughter after all. This has been my post for the day, It's something different from what you'll usually see on here on the forum.

Leo's Live enlightenment video intimidated me at first. I thought he experienced such a state with no psychedelics and it was permanent. I'm cocky but I'm not so cocky I think I could get to such a state permanently like the one in the video. Honestly glad to see him in the follow up video mostly back to normal. I personally see Leo as enlightened now, he said he accesses a state of oneness randomly throughout the day, I consider that a very low level of enlightenment. Just my thoughts on the recent happenings in this community, my posts in the future will be more about me since this is my diary.

Sociopaths make great pickup artists.

Setting: Daytime at the mall. Goal: Cold approach 10 girls in a "man to woman" fashion. Result: Approached 3 girls, quit, on my way to my bike I see 1 more girl getting off work so I approach her as well so make it 4. Things I did good: Kept a smile on my face, made okay eye contact, was man to woman. Things I did bad: Only approached 4 girls, didn't know what to say, made many excuses not to approach some girls. Conclusion: All I seem to know how to say is "Hi I saw you walking and wanted to tell you that you that you look very pretty today." Also the first approach is in fact very hard, harder than I thought It'd be, I also get really good at making up excuses when I'm out gaming. Most girls seemed under-aged so maybe It's best not to do daygame on the weekends at the mall? I'll be 21 soon so hopefully If I continue with this it'll get a lot easier when I can do nightgame. My main goal with this right now is just to grow and push my comfort zone, I'd say I did that tonight so I'm proud of myself even if I only approached 4 girls. In the near future my goals will be just to approach more girls than the day previously.

wait a sec... is Leo recommending someone play a videogame? my reality is melting.

religious texts are all metaphorical, to believe otherwise is misinterpretation. most preaches misinterpret their own religion. Jordan Paterson's Biblical lecture series my open your mind a bit regarding religion.

@Nahm yes usually hard for me to take an intellectual seriously when it's clear their entire world view would be blown to smithereens with a single DMT trip. my goodness the brilliant minds that get wasted on silly paradigms, it's such a shame.

I thought you all would find this very interesting.

@blazed i'm probably not gonna play the game but i enjoyed the video and the whole time i watched the dude struggling and falling and failing to then lonesomely continue with no encouraging voice it reminded me of the mastery process. also reminded me of leo's self-inquiry metaphor of withering down a rock with a feather.

I feel like in the future, maybe after Leo releases his book, he'll go down as one of the most important minds of our time, if he doesn't than he should. People criticize him for unintentionally taking on a "guru" role. He takes on this role even as someone who self-admittedly isn't enlightened. But regardless of that i'd say there's plenty of philosophers and intellectuals out there who are less wise and have influenced more people, and these people were influenced positively as well. So although Leo would probably have a different approach if he was enlightened, at least he has the wisdom to know that enlightenment is the most worthwhile thing to peruse, this knowledge alone can be enough to change someones life, the fact that he's got people in different age groups all over the world genuinely interested in non-duality puts him on a higher level than people like say Nietzsche. Nietzsche influenced many people but it'd take a very strong intuition to get an enlightenment experience out of reading his works. Leo's conceptual knowledge of non-duality and personal development gets people motivated to make real positive change in their, while at the same time gives them the tools to create a more solid metaphysical framework which is what most philosophers seem to lack. The point of this post is to remind you all how lucky we are to have this, my grand kids can say "my grandpa was a direct disciple of Leo Gura, he visited the Actualized Forum and everything" I know it seems like I'm buttering the guy up but really I'm just taking a moment to express gratitude in for something that I see a lot of value in. My interpretation of Leo's work is as follows: It's all meaningless, this includes the concept of meaninglessness, so construct meaning as you see fit.

I agree, I feel like I've gotten more out of this forum than all his videos. It's so useful to be able to talk with others on a similar path.

@supremeyingyang When he did his commonplace book video I believe there was a tab called "Epistemology Book" @DnoReally I really wish I could remember how I found out about Leo. I was either interested in meditation, enlightenment, or making girls squirt. I honestly can't remember.

Don't do drugs, I don't do drugs, I will never do drugs, this whole post is a joke. I have 7 grams of dried mushrooms. How should I approach this? My plan is to spend the next week getting things off my plate as well as cleaning up my diet a bit and ramping up the consciousness work. Then once I'm in the right head-space I'm thinking of just eating like 1 cap and stem to get a little acclimated to it since I've never done any psychedelic before. Then maybe the next day I'll eat the rest of them and trace it with some orange juice. I'm thinking I'm gonna do this outside at a local canyon that has lots of beautiful nature around. I'm probably going to have a trip sitter as well. What are your thoughts on this? Am I approaching this correctly? My intention is an enlightenment experience.

@Leo Gura Okay, definitely glad I asked and checked out some threads on reddit. Thank you.

Oh yeah, we're all already enlightened... Yeah but how many of us are actually aware of this fact throughout most of the day?

@Leo Gura If I can handle the 1 and 2 grams should I then just take 4 a week later? Will this help guide me towards a better idea of what the Truth is? That's mostly what I'm after. I would like to know that when I self-inquire I'm on the right track, I figure mushrooms will tell me where I'm fucking up.

I posted a bit about this on the dating sub-forum but this part I feel pertains to consciousness so I'll ask about it here. I'm going through my first breakup and one way I've been dealing with it is by bringing up thoughts that make me feel emotional pain and then applying mindfulness directly to the pain. For example we just broke up and now she's dating a new guy, she's told me she really likes him and they've started having sex. This brings me very deep emotional pain to think about, so I bring it to mind, visualize her having sex with someone else, and then I apply mindfulness to the negative emotions and feelings that this stirs up in me. It's very painful, but these thoughts are gonna come up from time to time anyway, so I figure I should learn to deal with them, learn to love them in fact. I know some say It's bad to think negatively but does the same apply to mindfulness and emotional healing? I would assume not. I've been trying other things as well like imagining her being with someone else and feeling genuinely happy for her and her new man. I imagine myself meeting her new man and being nice to him in a genuine way and maybe joking around a bit with him. Maybe even imagine her and him having sex and genuinely wishing that she's enjoying herself immensely (that ones extremely hard). I've also been crying and venting to her although she accuses me of wallowing in my own self pity but I disagree, It feels really good to cry. I've also been doing cold showers with mindfulness since discomfort x mindfulness = purification. Do you all think I'm dealing with this correctly? I'm trying to use this as an opportunity to grow but I've never dealt with this level of emotions while knowing about consciousness. In the past have dealt with hardships but I dealt with them in an unconscious manner usually. I'm just trying to make sure I don't make the same mistake again in this situation.

At 3:09 to 3:33 she talks about a particular technique. I was wondering if any of you know of a more detailed guide on how to do this?

I replied to a post where I think I was essentially referring to what you're talking about here. Interesting it seems we came to similar conclusions on our own.

I do the same, I sit down with a vague instruction like "allow" or "be" or "let go". but also sometimes no instruction at all, It'll seamlessly blend from do nothing, to self-inquiry, to meditation, to contemplation and so on. probably the best way to do it since research has shown most meditation techniques stop yielding any results after a certain amount of time and then it's best to switch to a new one that does.

watch out with anything that involves full contact sparing with strikes, one punch to the head can fuck up a lifetime of meditation and it doesn't even need to be that devastating of a blow. grappling, hitting pads, and inner martial arts like tai chi and qui gon are the way to go. imo the only people who should be punching each other in the head are the ones who've made competitive martial arts their life purpose. other than that stay away from hobbies that can cause brain damage.

I'm currently going through my first ever breakup and the worst part of it is that I'm still roommates with her and we sleep in the same bed. She quickly started dating other guys and sometimes tells me about a particular guy she likes. This is very painful for me even though I'd date and have sex with other woman if only I had the options, so call me a hypocrite. I want her to be happy but with another guy? Fuck that, my ego can't handle it. Especially since we live in the same house and I know just about exactly when they're hanging out. My question is of how I should approach this, I'm in a bigger city now and live close to the second biggest mall in town. Should I start cold approach? I have no excuse not to now since I'm no longer a small town boy. I'm mostly interested in cold approach to push my comfort zone, since the breakup I've also started trying some mindfulness as I do cold showers because pain x mindfulness = purification. I figure I need to go straight to my discomfort rather than run from it, so of course I've also been applying mindfulness to this emotional pain and also releasing emotions by crying and venting to her (we are still on good terms). When I cry am I healing or unconsciously wallowing in my own self pity? She says I'm wallowing in my own pain and self pity when I cry and vent to her but It feels really good, It feels like I'm releasing emotional baggage. Would you agree with her that I shouldn't do this? I personally disagree. On one hand it's also nice to live with her because it's easier for me to access these emotions when she's hear as opposed to when I meditate on this matter and I must visualize and bring her to mind, I must bring her to mind and not get sucked up into imagining us being together again and feeling all lovey dovey, I must bring her to mind, imagine her being with a new guy, feel into the pain this brings, and accept what is, accept we'll never be together again. It's much easier and more organic just to cry to her although I imagine she's starting to get annoyed by now. Again, should I try cold approach? Or is that running away from my problems? I'd want to just have the intention of growth, not to get laid although that'd be nice. I worry that cold approach might just make me feel worse since I suck at it and would pretty much just get rejected over and over. Although in the past when I'd randomly talk to girls I'd often feel good about myself just for tying even if I get rejected. TLDR: Should I do cold approach, meditation, emotional release, or some mixture of those?

@Sevi I'm moving out on saturday regardless, my friend from my hometown got some days off of work a while back when me and her where still together and they wanted to surprise me when he showed up. When he found out about the breakup he told me about it and said he can take me back home on the 25th. I'll talk to both my sister and mom today, I'm still trying to figure out which one I should go live with.