Salvijus

Here's some thoughts to ponder that may or may not resonate with you. 1. You have some attachment to certain goals and you believe it will bring you happyness. 2. Once you feel like you failed to meet the expectations/requirements to achieve that fantasy desire that you believe will bring you great happyness. You become sad. 3. After sad follows frustration. 4. Now you want to blame someone or something for that feeling "why the world is so cruel" kind of thing. 5. You find nothing to blame so you put the hate/blame on yourself. (other people put blame on the world, bad childhood, parents, themselves, and if nothing works, on God itself) How to come out of it? At the stage when the feeling of "I failed" comes. Or the feeling of "I haven't failed yet but it looks like I'm about to fail and so I'm getting sad and then frustration follows". This is where you can change things. There is a lot of fear surrounding the attachment. Belief that without the achievement of the desired goals your ticket to happyness is gone. Your hope for happyness is crushed. And feelings of bewilderment are right behind the corner waiting for you to fall into a despair. But in truth you have a choice at the moment you feel that fear rising. You can simply chose to allow and let the egoic fantasies crumble. It can feel psychologically painful. Yet on the other side there is the Sun. The Rays of freedom. And a treasure of happyness that never fades and needs no effort to achieve it. Needs no conditions to be there. Happyness that you need not earn it or be worthy of. It's simply there for you all the time forever. Then it's the end to seeking, attachment, fear of loss, and misery. Amen

I love you too

Dopé

I emphasize with your frustration. It's not easy to talk to me but you're doing well imo 🙏

Your behavior is a reflection of your belief system Every action is a statement if you believe in seperation or in all pervasive union. One who knows the truth, the pervasive union in all things, acts accordingly in a way that serves The Whole system and not his little identity. If the implications of the above are undetstood. Evil(selfish) behavior and enlightenment are impossible to combine.

All evil is driven by fear. Not by love Your nature is love. You being but love, can you be evil? Only if you forget yourself

What about just be aware. Not of this or that. Just simply be aware intensely. It's enough.

Human games > psychedelic experience. It is only spiritual growth that is existencially valuable. Unless a psychedelic experience serves that purpose it is a useless thing. And if psychedelics are being used for spiritual growth and seeking truth, then it gets included into the "human games" category. Check mate

"What is?"

Nice. That was pretty good response I'm comfident one day we'll agree on something

Everything you do out of love (truth impulse) is right. Everything you do out of fear (egoic self grasping) is wrong. If you act out of love, you can't help but be of service to truth and all life. You can't help but feel one with the one in front of you. You can't help but feel intense fulfilment. If you act out of fear. You are in service to illusions and ignorance. You won't be able to escape the dreadful feeling of suffering and suffocation of the heart. And you will feel lost and isolated from others.

I have a theory that could explain some of the triggers like eating and lip sounds, saliva sounds that may or may not be true. My guess is. You have sexual association with these sounds and these sounds stimulate you in a sexual way (on a very subtle level). Hence when you're in the environment where feeling araused is inappropriate or unwanted yet you can't help but be stimulated by these sounds. You get angry. It can take a lot self awareness tho to really notice what is happening right before the irritation comes. But I'm confident it is a feeling that you really really don't want to feel hence you become angry. Sexual arousal would be my guess of what that underlying feeling you try to get rid of is.

Good. We can end here. A good place to stop Tcare

Call it what you will. But the fact remains the same. The question reveals a disparity between your behavior and that of a true sage who knows to be no more special than a blade of grass. If you wish to divert the attention on me being full of ego by all means go for it. But for how long will you ignore the implications of what the question has revealed? Because the implications are huge. And you could benefit greatly by sincerely pondering them.

The question was not an attack. It was an invitation. An invitation to self reflect about the difference in behavior of someone who knows to be no more special than a blade of grass and your behavior. Who but ego would become uncomfortable when it is being invited to self reflect?

Sigh... Who but ego would ever feel threatened by a question?

Oh. My bad then. I was under the impression that you hold yourself more special than others somehow. As a hypothetical question. If a person was to realize she's no more special than a blade of grass. Would she be running around announcing who she is to everybody?

The specialness we ascribe to being Jesus or Buddha or whatever else loses all meaning once you realize we are all equal in our true essence anyway.

It depends if your heart is open or not. If it's open you, then you smile towards everything not just people and you have good will towards others and it may or may not manifest as a smile if it's appropriate. If your heart is closed. You will label others as "strangers" (even tho there's no such thing in existence), and you will try to keep your guard up, and you will try to avoid any contact with people otherwise great discomfort will enter the body. Essentially it's just fear and ego at play. So it's just a question whether your heart is open or closed. Accordingly things manifest. One way is not better than the other. But one way is definitely more lighter, relaxed, trusting, and filled with good will. Whereas another is very fear based.

My new video. "Masculine and feminine enlightenment"

The capacity to allow and to forgive can be cultivated to greater and greater depth. I emphasize with your situation tho. When the capacity to allow is not sufficient...what to do? Forgive 7000 times and don't sleep all night if that's what it takes to transmute the pain is probably the real answer Or maybe soak your feet in a bowl of hot water with salt and lavender essential oil before bedtime. idk...

Instead of trying to forgive maybe try to simply feel the pain and the hurt. To be fully vulnerable and defenseless, and allow all feelings to pass through the body as they are while you remain open to feeling everything. A natural digestion/assimilation/healing will take place like that. Can take some time tho.

I guess I could say something here. 1.Prayer is to set the heart free by allowing the energy of heart's desire to flow unobstructed. To let it fill the whole being and brake through all the resistances made of fear. 2.It is to surrender all egoic control and replace it with love's gentle (sometimes not so gentle) guidance and wisdom. 3.And finally it is to become a Creator of the reality you experience.

"before you will to do anything, ask yourself if that action is in accord with love's will"

@Steel Grotto :)