Salvijus

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Lol. You have a funny way of expressing things ? Yeah, I agree. But it's not the only way, if you're smart you don't need to go through the drama to get to the same conclusion. But probably majority of people need to chase after their fantasies to get dissilusioned and see the pointlessness of it. I do agree. ?

Lol. I feel there's a lot of placebo that people get when they do nofap. Confirmation bias you can call it maybe. The only benefits you will get from nofap is less lazyness because ejaculation drains life force and that's it. The rest of the benefits area bit made up. Also health benefit is there because your body has more energy to heal itself when you're not draining the life force everyday. That benefit of becoming chick magnet is also not very true, well somewhat true maybe. Because when you don't drain the life force everyday, your body attains to a certain glow of vitality and health. And woman kind of get attracted to this. A healthy looking guy will obviously be more attractive than a lousy, drained, no energy person. In that sense yes. Being 10× times more horny is not true. That only happens when you're suppressing the energy without transmuting the energy into something else. Sexual energy wants to be used and released somehow. One way of course is ejaculation. If you don't do ejaculation, then you must be either very physically active, or very intelectually active, or be very hardcore meditator. Than that alloted sexual energy gets used in one of those things and the horniness goes away. Confidence benefit is probably placebo imo. Well... some indirect correlation could be there. Ejaculation somehow makes you feel dirty and uncomfortable, it makes you feel like you just want to be alone for some time for a few hours or maybe a day. But it's subtle, most people don't notice it. Social skills will sky rocket? Placebo. The guy is exaggerating about the depomine thing.

@Raptorsin7 duuuuudeee ? I literally wrote in every post sex can be beautiful and there's nothing wrong with it ? guys you need to read more carefully what I write. It is that obsesiveness about sex that is the problem. A healthy short term solution is to find a girlfriend and let your steam out on her. But not to have 1000 of partners. Just one. That would be a healthy alternative for those who are not at all ready for spirituality and struggling with intense sex drive. A much more sensible and wise solution is of course go beyond these things altogether... I can't make this more simple guys, you need to put at least some effort on your own to understand this. I can't spoon feed you every step ? okey okey. Maybe I wasn't clear. Maybe I'm even wrong idk. But it makes sense to me what I write at least. ?

So you're saying first to get abundence of pleasure as much as possible and then that will give you the power to drop the compulsion? You really think that's how it works? "Okey I've had enough sex I don't want it anymore" yeah, maybe if have lots of sex you will feel tired of it for a week and then it will come back again. This strategy doesn't go anywhere only in circles. But this could work actually. Sometimes people have lots of pleasures and money and stuff and they realize that it doesn't make them happy and then they turn spiritual. But you don't have to go through the entire drama to realize that, if you're smart that is. Anyway the solution is the same, spiritual practice, either you realize it now, or you realize it after 1000s of pleasures. Depends how smart you are ? Now okey, I want to give some credit that it is important for those with vary strong sexual lust and drive to find a healthy way to express it. Maybe to find a girlfriend or something so that they can finnaly focus on smth besides sex. I would just like to add that it's just a short-term solution, like patching a cancer with a bandage sticker. It will keep you going, but the real problem won't get solved like that. But it has some meaning and importance definitely. Another thing I want to mention is that it's not that difficult to overcome these low conciousness compulsions, I have an impressions people think it's some kind of godly only for monks achievement, no man... it's super basic. If you just check any person who's done a 2-3 years of high quality spiritual practice like vipassana or isha, you'll see 1000s and 1000s of people who are free from these obsesive compulsions. Not 100% free but free enough to be happy by themselfs. And not just free from sex but free from all kinds of addictions like coffee, tabaco, alcohol etc. A need for intimacy can still be there, that's a very advanced stuff to overcome, but it's not even neseccary to overcome it since it can be very beautiful and spiritual also. Does any of this make any sense? I'm just repeating the same thing in every post again and again ? I feel we should end it because it's getting exhausting. Regards ? @Preety_India @something_else

Yeah, that's okey, I think the same way, so... ? I even sayed in my previous post that sex can be beautiful and coral etc. Nobody is against it. A compulsion is the problem, and spiritual practice is the solution. ?

@something_else @LSD-Rumi I'm not sure what we're talking about anymore ?... Well first of, I didn't mean suppressing it. As long as compulsion is very strong it's better to find a healthy expression to it. But I don't think hitting on woman in a bar everyday is a healthy expression of that compulsion... debatable perhaps. And the very thing of indulging in this sort of activity will not make you free from it, probably will make it even worse. The way to come out of it through consciouness work. Religious morals don't work either of course. @something_else see, you sayed a sex deprived guy can't come out of this longing because he can't get sex and sex is all he ever thinks about. That's the whole point I'm making that even if you give the guy 1000s sex he will still remain with the same compulsion or worse. The core problem is the compulsion, not how to fulfill the compulsion but to overcome the compulsion. For this only consciouness work is the answer. Teaching a desperate guy how to get laid is just a short-term solution. Which is not a solution at all really. Just a postponement of the real problem. Like giving another dose of candy to a kid to stop him from crying. And instead of encouraging kids to overcome their candy compulsion we teach them where the candy shop is and how to earn money to buy lots of candy as if that will solve their crying problems. Do you see the problem here? ?

Now laundry

He makes good points about not having hair, but what's the point of shaving eyebrows lol ? Anyways... I've noticed from my own experience that shaving hair somehow lowers the sense of pride, I think that's the real reason monks shave their hair. Also noticed that cutting hair can feel like dropping a lot of the past and be somewhat liberating and gives a feeling of fresh start. But other traditions say the opposite, I think in christianity it is sayed somewhere not to cut hair and leave them grow. In my experience long hair gives a certain sense of balance somehow. So yeah, lots of different opinions like always ?

I feel overcoming lustfulness and hornyness isn't a big achievement really. It's rather very basic step in a spiritual path. However, overcoming the need for intimacy is different. That's quite advanced stuff. But intimacy itself is not that really bad, it can be very beautiful and spiritual if it's used to no fill the hole inside. Intimacy can be coral even. Where am I going with this? I don't know ? the point I'm trying to make is that the right attitude is to try and overcome the lustfulness and hornyness and move into a realm of pure love and connection without lust. Second point is that to achieve this you have to do spiritual practice. Trying to become pro at landing girls will only feed the lustfulness and hornyness and it's just a backwards step in evolution. What's the point of becoming a pro ape? The point is to overcome the ape. And can only happen through consciouness work. Makes sense? I'm not even sure why I write these. Had a feeling this is useful to write. Or maybe I just like drama ? ?

Thank you ??

A concious human being is incapable of doing something stupid. A stupid action is an unconscious action. By vary nature consciouness and stupidness don't go together. Only because of lack of consciousness can somebody perform a stupid action. Once you become concious of your stupidness automatically self correction happens. That's just the law of awareness. Stupidness means ignorance, awareness means the end of ignorance and stupidness. Speaking about coral beings, can you ever imagine buddha or Jesus hitting ladies in a bar with their dick? Lol. Of course not. Because a coral being is not an ape. That's what makes them coral. Makes sense or no? ?

@ValiantSalvatore ? I feel you'll be fine. Improvement takes time, you'll get there eventually ? ?

The only way to be spontanuous and authentic is to be one with dao. The more you grow in conciousness, the more authentic and spontanious and true and natural and honest you will become. They all go together. Spontaneity is not a mental attitude. The level of spontaneity you have is equivalent to your development in conciousness. ?

The cause of all conflicts is always the same, it's ego. Just work on that one thing and gradually your relationships will improve with all people not just woman. ?

Okey, okey, pick up is great, I'm tired now. Please don't start new debates about the same thing all over again ? Cheers and good luck ?

@Shin your point? ? I was just joking bro. Yes some people commit suicide because they can't get sex. Maybe in that sense it is true that lack of sex can kill you. But that's real logic bending right there ? Sorry I didn't get most of what you tried to say. ?

I'm yet to see a guy die because of lack of sex ? I'm joking, yeah sex can be survival, but it's mostly just apeish pleasure seeking process, not a survival need imo. ?

I feel to add a bit on the "improving social skills by interacting with random people" thing. I don't think it can work like that. Why. Because your interactions are a consiquence of how you are inside and you level of self-awareness. To that extent you can jam and dance with relationships. Relationships are like jamming really. In music if you want to learn improv, you don't do improv 24/7. You cultivate your music sensitivity, your sense of rythm, your ears, and your heart. All these principles will decide how good your music will be. It's the same with social skills. There are no techniques for it, you simply meet and respond to the situation according to your level of awareness. How self-aware you are, how honest, natural, sensitive, empathic you are, that will be the quality of your socializing. A very high quality socializing ends up in union and love and silence. To develop these qualities that make socializing smooth and successful is what consciouness work is all about. Only through consciouness work can people learn socializing. It's when you're disconnected from yourself that you are lost among people and don't know what to say and all that stuff. Because a person is not sufficiently self-aware that's why these problems come. It's like a tone deaf person trying to play jazz improv. Obviously he will feel lost and clueless what to play. Everything he plays will sound out of tune and out of context, that's exacly what happens when people who have no self-awareness trying to socialize with people ? 1000 attempts phylosophy will not work. You need to work on the principles. ?

@something_else hmmmm... okey okey. You win. Pickup can help you POTENTIALLY. To improve your.... what? Aaaa, confidence? What else? Can it teach you to be more respectful and inclusive? Aaaa, maybe? Potentially? But in the end it's only logical that if you want to learn relationship you have to become a loving, respectful, good will generating person, only then there is a possibility of having a harmonious interaction. Otherwise where there's no love and respect things turn nasty and dark once the sex motive is is fulfilled. And to develop these qualities, you need consciouness work not pick up experience, does that make sense or no? It does make sense to me somehow. Also just because you got your anxiety to approach woman dissapear somewhat. That is not a sign that you improved your ability to connect with people and have a harmonious successful relationship, no? Many people have no anxiety to speak to woman but they are still assholes. The point of healthy pickup is to develop your ability to connect with people not to overcome approach anxiety imo. No? I don't know myself even lol. But it seems to make sense so far at least for me. I think we have drifted somewhere into another topic now. If we are talking about healthy pickup than landing a few girls is not an achievement it's just ape buiseness. But if learning to connect to people on a deep level is what healthy pickup is all about. I would say it's a simple consiquence of consciouness work. I don't see another option here.. ?

Lol, fair enough ?

@Knowledge Hoarder but it was more of an observation than critism or advice... You're fine. She's exaggerating a little bit because she's venting. But I did pick up a similar vibe from you earlier that she described. A most unpleasant thing to hear probably. We are all retarded in the end so that should comfort you somewhat ? it helps at least for me to come to terms when I do something stupid ? Don't know why I'm writing all this, Regards ?

@Khr @Knowledge Hoarder lol you guys. It's getting hot here ? they will close this thread if you continue. But this woman is telling the truth here a little bit that could be healthy thing to look at. Unpleasant as it may sound, I know ? ??

Not sure, well for starters I don't think pick up heals a person from shyness. Pick up can replace shyness with cockiness and arrogance. It teaches you to basicly to be an alpha male and dominate a woman and that sort of stuff. I don't see that as a big improvement honestly. Maybe even a degradation more than improvement. This is unhealthy pickup im talking about here. For this anxiety of speaking with people to dissapear there are two solutions: 1.You build your self esteem alot and you think you're great, this often can lead to becoming a self-centered asshole 2. You attain to certain level of harmony and inclusiveness and wholeness in yourself. Than all your interactions become filled with good will and respect for another person. You can’t achieve this quality of having a good will and love towards other by hitting on woman 24/7. It only comes as a consiquence of your spiritual practice. But it's the only real lasting solution that works I think. To learn the art of relationships no prior experience is needed and there're no techniques that make you better at it. All you have to do is have good will towards another, be honest, be self-aware and concious, don't be manipulative and self-centered and that's it. But for this you need consciouness work not pick up experience. Pick up experience will only give you confidence. What good is confidence if you're a self-centered asshole? It's better to stay shy in this case. ? Does this make sense or no? I'm just writing without thinking, I could be wrong about many things. Regards ?

It's not about long or short relationships. It's about whether a relationship is based on respect, love and acceptance. Or is it based on manipulation and pretending and playing mind games to get what you want.