Dan Arnautu

Currently doing guided mindfulness meditation (Headspace - part 3 of the Discovery Series). I can now relate to my thoughts and emotions in a different way and not take them so seriously. When I wake up at 6 A.M. I get a lot more work done and have more time to relax. Also, this early in the morning no one can bother me in any way. I like to meditate as soon as I wake up and I can savor my coffee with a good book. Broke this habit unfortunately because of so many vacations and need to get it dialed back in. RIght now I go to sleep at about 4:00 in the morning and wake up at 14:00 in the afternoon (which is pretty bad). I need to thank you for showing interest in my life situation.

I created this topic just to share my amazement to how much growth is actually possible. I was looking at some videos of me just 2 years ago, and I realized that no aspect, and I literally mean NO ASPECT of my past self is present anymore. I did not recognize who I was looking at in those videos. Everything changed radically since I took Self-Actualization seriously. Everything from my body, the way I talk, to my confidence, insecurities, doubts, abilities, limiting beliefs, neurosis changed in a good way and it feels like I upgraded myself 10x in just 2 years since I've gone out of highschool. So many new habits, changes in perspective and patterns everywhere that I did not see before with my mind's eye. Uncertainty continues to increase, and I am starting to relate to what Socrates said: ”All that I know is that I know nothing.” So many things that beg to be mastered. To think that these were only 2 years, and that I have at least 60 to go (please don't get into nonduality here, you know I'm talking only about human existence) is exciting and scary at the same time. I wonder if these shifts will continue to happen as often as they did until now or if there will be a slowdown (in the case that I will put in the same amount of work that I did until now). Now I see that the majority of people die without experiencing even 0.1% of what life has to offer and that is pretty sad. Feel free to share your own experiences!

@Dingus Lmao

@HelloThere Things I've changed include: Moving temporarily to the country's capital for college (Bucharest, Romania) Here I started working with the best guitar teacher in the country and one of the best in Europe My guitar skills improved more in 2 months than in 7 years of self taught work Also, the teacher made me part of his elite group of guitar students (and almost all his students are part of the greatest acts in the country) - he coaches professional musicians The independence I got from the whole situation skyrocketed my confidence Being a philosophy student put me in a group of like minded people to whom I can relate more than my past drinking buddies and due to the nature of the degree I got to work on my social skills a lot and improve my ability to express my own opinion with relevant facts. Also, like Leo said, it also helped me see through the bullshit in other people's logic I realize that the quality of my life increases dramatically when I am not in the presence of my parents (I am not bossed around, I do whatever I want to do, I am no longer influenced by their limiting beliefs and bad habits) I love them, don't get me wrong, but I would rather not live with them Going down to 8% bodyfat and putting on a high amount of muscle mass, after being fat my whole life Now everybody I know would kill to have my kind of physique, but they are not willing to put in the work From not reading at all to devouring information 24/7 Since starting college I finished many courses on different topics (health, wealth, love, happiness) and read more than 20 books, from psychology and business books to autobiographies, spiritual books and so on From that, I now get to see patterns everywhere, and am starting to know exactly how situations have come to be as they are and what is needed for change to happen Also, it makes me speak with a lot more confidence in every situation because I know exactly what I am talking about and I can support it with facts This also makes me more attractive to girls Correcting bad habits and putting new ones in place meditation waking up everyday at 6 A.M fasting for 6 hours after waking up (when I am dieting) mindfulness (being aware of my own emotions and reactions and redirecting them in a positive way) which means no more compulsive behaviour eating clean making my bed planning every day in time blocks listening to audiobooks and podcasts when I do chores, shower or commute (sometimes I meditate when commuting though) cut cable TV two years ago quit gaming almost completely (I used to play for hundreds and hundreds of hours), though I still indulge for a short while after long stretches of time same for movies and documentaries (max 1 per day before I go to sleep) - before there were days when I would watch for 8h straight stopped buying useless crap and started investing in myself These are some of the changes. I will edit the post if more come to mind.

For the first year and a half in my philosophy degree, studying was enjoyable, but as we got into more and more systematic and futile concepts, I started to lose a lot of motivation. Right now it actually got to the point where I would finish 2-3 books I like instead of a 20 page reading assignment for college. I would rather read Mastery by George Leonard than the Phenomenology of Spirit by Hegel or the theory of direct refference anyday. I see absolutely no practicality. Like Leo said, academic philosophy is just normal philosophy with it's heart ripped out and stripped of it's best qualities. I study for life-long learning, for mastering my own psychology, for making systematic changes to every aspect of my own life, for tasting everything that life has to offer before my own death.

Can somebody explain this quote to me please?

@Sooraj sunilkumar If you are prepared enough, fear will melt away. Let's say hypothetically that all you are supposed to do on stage is clap your hands 2 times. You would not fear that one bit because you trust your ability to be able to do that. Same thing, if you would know your act inside and out, you would trust that the act would be on autopilot once you are on stage. Would you still have butterflies in your stomach? Yes, but that's not fear, that's excitement.

Some background info: Followed a formal music education in highschool. Been a guitarist for 7+ years and am still studying guitar under a mentor right now. This is my set path. I love it. Problem: I applied for a scholarship to a foreign music conservatory, managed to get in the finals, but didn't get it. Contemplating taking a gap year and trying again or going to another university for a year and trying again. Chose the latter. Figured out the conservatory won't have the same return on investment as studying under a mentor and that I could not afford the expenses anyway. So here I am in my sophomore year as a philosophy student in my own country. At first I loved it, but right now it doesn't resonate with me at all. I'm starting to hate it. I am a practical guy. I read a lot, but I can't imagine doing it 24/7 anymore. It burns me out really bad. The courses we are starting to get into are goddamn excruciating for me. I don't care about them at all anymore. I need to retake exams for 4 courses (the ones I really hated). You can't choose your courses here. My plan: To become an assistant teacher to my mentor in less than a years time, get experience, start my own guitar teaching business in my hometown (I have no competition) and a youtube channel, build my reputation, save 6 months worth of expenses and move the business in whichever city I like. After I get enough authority in my field to raise my rates in order to teach part-time hours and have a secure income, which lets me work on other projects (bands and whatnot). This way I feel happy and ecstatic doing what I love and doing everything according to my own desires and not someone else's. Problem punchline: My parents are extremely resistant to me trying to drop out. I brought it up before but it was out of the question. I ”kind of” compromised with them to pay for my 4 meetings every month with my mentor (which are about 1200 dollars per year) in exchange for me to finish my degree. I've met my mentor only 13-14 times and my guitar playing and mindset skyrocketed and it will continue to do so for a period of time. But I feel I can't fulfill my part. I feel guilty because they pay to keep me in a very nice apartment here, pay for all my expenses + gym membership and whatnot and the mentor meetings, but I feel that I just can't do it anymore. It makes me feel miserable and feel like I am under their foot. I don't know what they would do if I actually decided to drop out, no questions asked. 2nd plan: Actions speak louder than words. If I would get some students to teach guitar and make a decent-ish income (that would mean about 10 students more or less) that would definitely prove them that I am responsible and able to handle my financial situation even without my degree (which they think helps a lot in a very vague, non-argumentative way) and let me drop out. But, my mentor advised me to wait for at least 1 more year until I become an assistant, do that for a while and then go on and do my own thing. Any advice? I really want to solve the situation in some way. I just can't get myself to do schoolwork anymore, and I am not the lazy kind.

@AndreiC @Michael569 Thank you guys for the long, thoughtful answers. Adressing your input, @AndreiC , I know I am thinking of quitting for all the right reasons. Need to put it out there that I don't consider myself a slacker (nor do others), not one bit. I work from dusk till dawn (not all of it schoolwork though). I really wanted this major to work, I put a lot of effort into it. I got very good grades on some courses, but it just became real soul draining work and I just can't do it anymore. It has very little alignment with what I want to do in my career aside from the communication skills I already got from it. I could get many more things on my resume that would be of much more value to my career (playing in bands, actually teaching, doing social media marketing and whatnot) by doing my own thing rather than finishing this major. I just want my parents to see the situation from my POV. Tried it twice and it didn't work. They tell me to take it like a bitter medicine that will payoff later. I could see that in a way, but I JUST FEEL MISERABLE. If I hear one more thing about Kripke's Direct Reference Theory or Aristotle's Categories or the so obnoxious works of Anselm or other medieval philosopher I am gonna go fucking nuts. My parents are also probably still bitter about the fact that my sister dropped out of college too, but now is in a high management position for an electrical distribution company, has a kid, and another one on the way, living in a nice house. They probably want at least one of their kids with a degree to brag about or something. I can't figure if their motives for resisting are genuine or not, selfish or not. Now to answer @Michael569, I don't think my parents would kick me out of the house, but I would still have to live with them, which is not easy at all. All my usual (sucsessful habits) go right out the window when that happens. I need to make a call fairly quickly, as when I go home in the summer I usually get only half my stuff with me. If I drop out, I need to get all of 'em with me. I will try and ask my mentor tomorrow what would he do in my situation. He is one of the best guitar instructors in Europe and the currently the best in the country. It would be awesome if he would offer to try and knowck some sense into my parents, although I won't rely on that.

@Awomanaware Watched it already. Great info. Thanks for the input.

Pretty self-explanatory titlle. It's probably true that that doing spiritual work removes all your crutches and leaves you with nothing to lean on. Although I think that does not mean that you shouldn't have a center of gravity. Feeling out of touch with the physical body is a pretty nasty thing to work through when you start to get more and more awareness. Can you make a video talking about that and how you ground yourself in order to be able to do work in day to day life? Thank you!

@SLICKHAWK Thank you for the input. Sorry if the reading was too long. So how do I go about it practically?

@egoeimai Break the norm once in a while. Have some fun. It's not like I'm gonna post stuff like this everyday, haha.

Use it however you like, haha

@Loreena You're welcome!

@Loreena There are a lot of options: Listening to music mindfully (not doing other things while listening) Watching an uplifting movie. Reading something inspiring. Maybe an autobiography. Making a tea and savoring every sip, feeling the warmth inside the body. I find writing to be relaxing too, for no particular reason, no matter what it is (a journal, seminar or book notes, to do lists, quotes on the whiteboard behind my desk etc.). Yoga ( it's almost impossible to not feel peaceful after doing this, especially because most yoga sequences end with Savasana -> meaning corpse pose, which makes your body surrender totally to the present moment) you might not feel like doing it after an exhausting day but you will definitely feel better after it, not worse Playing mellow, acoustic songs on my guitar These are all I can think of right now. Might edit when more ideas come up to my mind.

@egoeimai https://giphy.com/create/gifmaker

@Evilwave Heddy Yea. I don't dig the beanie though. Makes him look 40 years older than he actually is.

@Siim Land Do you follow Kinobody on youtube? Most of the tips you shared I heard from Kinobody. Highly useful. Been fasting for 2 years now.

Hi guys! I've found a real interesting idea in Sadhguru's book ”Inner Engineering” that I wanted to share with you. I've been doing bodybuilding for a few years now and I noticed that there are often short periods of time when my body does not ask for food. While reading the book above I had an aha moment. He explains the situation like this: ”If you observe the natural cycle of the body, you will find that there is something called mandala. A mandala is a cycle of forty to forty-eight days that the human system goes through. In every cycle, there will be three days on which your body does not need food. [...] Even dogs and cats have this awareness; on a particular day they often choose not to eat.” Presumably it is a cleaup day and also this can introduce you to fasting. I am currently bulking and I usually have an extremely high apetite. Yesterday my body did not ask for food but I ate what I needed to eat forcefully as I then just came back from the gym and wanted to promote muscle recovery. Take this as an idea to entartain. Might be of some use to you or not. Either way it's fine.

@Liam Johnson I can relate to what you are saying. I too went through a formal music educational system and nobody told me how to develop perfect pitch even though I've certainly improved on it in the last few years. What I do though is I try to capitalize on my strengths and not dwell on my weaknesses (that will just put me more behind the curve). I've tried looking at it within my band. One bandmate is very good at composition and has a good ear, but has a low technical skill as a keyboardist. The vocalist has an extremely good ear, good technical skill, but meh compositional skills. Lastly, I have a very high technical skill, but a ”bad” ear and decent-ish compositional skills. This makes for a well rounded band. If each of us dwelled on our weaknesses, we would get nowhere. Instead we capitalize on our strengths. That though is not to be used as an excuse not to do ear training. I know I benefit from it as I can relate better with other musicians that way, but I know I will never be world class at it, and I'm okay with that. Self-awareness is the game.

Hi Liam. Good info. Yes, absolute pitch can be aqcuired but it's still a different kind from the one that some get when they are born. Inborn perfect pitch is acquired through playing ”high information music” (like classical music, with a lot of instruments at once) in a period of high neural plasticity (played to the baby while it is still in the womb). Once that period is gone, the same kind of neural plasticity will not be there ever again and the baby won't acquire the ”real” kind of perfect pitch ever again. I will point you to the studies if I can find them again. The difference between the two is that the one born with perfect pitch can't just space out the notes that he hears and play with them conceptually. For example: My guitar teacher has a friend that is a keyboardist and he was born with perfect pitch. Because of that, he is not able to play on a piano that transposes keys for him (digitally). That is because in this case, unlike when you transpose a song by just changing your hand positioning, the piano keys that you are playing and the notes that you hear are different. When he plays he instantly identifies the notes that are being played and they are not congruent with the keys that he is playing. That fucks with his head and he can't space out. The name of the notes are coming to him whether he likes it or not. This is one major difference from inborn perfect pitch and perfect pitch acquired through relative pitch ear training (conscious or not). More differences can be found in the series below if you'd like to learn more:

I get what you are saying. I was trying to emphasize that it is natural to be afraid of a commitment when you don't know the other person well. Date him for a month or two and if things are going well ask for him to be in a commited relationship with you. If he doesn't wanna date, you got your answer.

Be aware of your breathing and breathe slowly. If you pay attention you will often see that you breathe more and more shallow the closer you are to orgasm. If you consciously make your breaths slower (which also makes you less aroused, your focus being on the breath), you will last a lot longer. Also, learn to give your girl a few orgasms before you even get to the penetration part. That will lift a lot of weight off your shoulders, knowing that even if you don't last long, she will be satisfied with the overall experience. Leo's videos on the topic are a good start.

The dating period is exactly for that. You can become close, hang out, have fun, have sex and whatever but you are not commited to each other. When you see that all things go well, are in place and you know each other pretty well, you can ask the guy for you two to become exclusive to each other. Don't scare him off with commitments. That is needy behaviour. Just go out and have fun with him. If a relationship is bound to happen, and it will happen, and will happen so organically.